All Comments on 'To Hear You Moan, The Whole Story'

The female protagonist, with the uncertainties and retivences, is SO BEAUTIFUL!

The rhythm, the descriptions, the gestures... kudos!

However, you can't leave your readers with a hint of feathers, and then not write another episode with feathers as well!

I really like how you revised this story to deepen the emotional component and thereby heighten the erotica impact. Her masturbating in front of him was a great switch in the characters' vulnerability. You should definitely keep writing. I would suggest a slower build up where you cover the clothes coming off, ideally off of him first, while they talk about that, as a way to greatly enhance his sense of vulnerability and her arousal from his exposure and vulnerability.

Delicious tease. His surrender, the white flag (ribbon) he holds, his silent “take me.”

No need for blindfolds when his body will rise to reach your touch. Yum!

Wonderful job. I absolutely adore a tease and long edge.