All Comments on 'Tommy's 18th Birthday Present Ch. 01'

My leaking cock is as hard as Tommy's. I wish I fucked my sister and her friends in h.s. Reading this story while I slowly jacked my cock in my wife's panties makes me wish I could shoot my hot load in my sister's mouth and tits instead.

Hurry up and write part II. I want him to eat Jess's pussy which will turn the twins on so much that they start finger-banging each other. Then Tommy will eat their pussies and jess will sit on their faces. Then they give Tommy a team BJ and he tit fucks his sister, with her pausing to slowly lick his engorged crown until he jazzes on all of them.

Just wait! Chapters 2 and 3 should be available soon.

You really need to learn the meaning of several words, or seek an editor. Is English your second language?

If you think so. Since my previous posting, there have be 10 "favorites", either for the story or as a favorite author, and the FFFM have only gotten all their clothes off. .

Want me to delete your comment and this one?

While I was posting the above, two other readers have favorited the story.

Thanks, folks.

don't understand why you had to make a big deal about the brother coming over,All they had to do was to ask him if he's any sort of red blooded male he'd over in 2 seconds flat

Really 2 maybe 3 girls wanting to fuck him its a no brainier where & when!

Just because there are others who like your story and may forgive the poor writing, doesn't mean it's well written. It's actually very incoherent.

I happen to agree with the other two anon's. Your English is horrendous although, the idea has merit. Either learn proper English, or get an editor. Also, 'scratching her pubic hair' sounds like she's scratching above her vagina, not rubbing her clit. Get some help.

Another thing, you may not like your responses, but you need to use them to improve your writing, start deleting comments, you may come to regret it later. Either by everyone boycotting you or you getting banned.

Hot and enjoyable. there may be some odd turns of phrase. But there are certainly others out there that are far worse and have far worse ideas around their bad writing. On the whole I have not found that it detracted from the impact of the story. Thank you very much for sharing. 5*