All Comments on 'Tongues of Flame'

There is tense immediacy here, and I know exactly what you're trying to capture. Sometimes it works fine to write in non-sentences, to try and capture the moment. BUT! You do have a problem with your mixed tenses. Just a wee bit careless, and it detracts from the impact of the story. Work at it Alisalia, stick with it and you could be really good!

This was a very well crafted story. I like your style. Beautiful. More please.

Needs more dialogue. Cut back on the adverbs and adjectives. Keep writing, you are on to something here. Rather than describing from the outside, let us listen to the internal dialogue going on in her head. That's more intimate, less clinical. Break out the parenthesis, let us eavesdrop on their external and internal conversations.

Well written, very hot, and dare I say, you are writing from experience.