All Comments on 'Too Good To Be True Ch. 28'

It’s a bittersweet story at this point. Part of what drew me into this from the get go was the character depth and development. The expansive cast at this point has got in the way I feel like and has majorly detracted from the story.

A pivotal moment with Cindy got such little page time. It just all feels so… superficial at this point. I hope the need to just grow and grow discontinues and further development of existing characters and their various dynamics and lives can be revisited and if anything, prioritized.

Great work, just a deviation I am struggling with. $0.02

Thank you for the feedback! I really appreciate it. I'd love to talk to my readers more about what they like, dislike, and what draws them into my stories. It's one of the reasons my Patreon is only a dollar. It's a better environment for discussing, though I've been told I should make a Discord too. I want these stories to be satisfying as well as exciting, and feedback like this is fabulous. Thank you for sharing

4/5 story up to this point with 5/5 early chapters down to 3/5 for recent ones (including the 28 I skimmed only, see below)

Exponential acceleration of good old 'naive and horny virgin accepted harem invite, MC fucked her happy in all holes and they all lived happily ever after' with little actual story progression or char development (so many of them...) does not make it fun reading. I suggest to keep harem count under control (10?) with some churn and fresh blood (hymen) and faster actual storyline progression

Good feedback. I appreciate it. Confession. Up until this point was all written before anything else I've written and before I got the nerve to post any of it. I have a couple more chapters, but... I'm contemplating rewriting them. Part of being a writer is understanding what parts of feedback you take and don't....

More Feedback is appreciated!

Gotta agree with the other comments. It's at the point now where I barely remember who's who. You've got a good writing style, and this and a couple of your others show interesting possibilities in terms of world-building (like Hero's Rebirth). I'd love to see what you could do with a series that doesn't follow the infinitely expanding harem route.

I'd join a discord, love your stories and it's harsh having to wait nearing 2 months for a next release now.

I agree with quantity not trumping quality though, Cindy's build up at home was all loving, somehow sneaky (atleast from their parents) guilty pleasure, their dirty little secret, now it was a vulgar act and felt like "it had to be done" didn't get the screen time it deserved. It wasn't even the center of this chapter because the staff introduction was so dominant.

I would have rather seen those 2 split in 2 episodes, especially because it's a 5 page chapter, I had to read it spread over some time for my own refraction period anyway. Also more shorter chapters sooner are more likely to keep your readers attention too.

I just hope the staff has their own unique appeal that warents them their screentime. You are reaching the point where more=less. I can hardly keep up with 20+ names with staff, especially when some have been months since I really heard anything other then a mention from them.

Still a 5/5 cause I really want more and I want it yesterday xD

I agree with the other two, the harem has become unwieldy but your writing keeps me reading despite that. Wouldn't mind seeing a re-write from the point of the first expansion to her original friends, but that's a lot of work to step away from.

Appreciate your storytelling, appreciate you acknowledging feedback and definitely will be coming back for more.

Yeah, I feel like I need to do some rewrites before I submit the next chapter. I know every creator will usually look at their earlier work and want to just tear it apart and redo it, but if you constantly do that, then you never get anything done. I'm glad I've posted as much as I have, but I do think I need to start rewriting going forward. (Kind of a bummer, I only have two chapters left of what was written earlier, but I think it does need more attention.) I'm currently trying to do NaNoWriMo2023 with the next chapter of A Hero's Rebirth, so that's taking all my writing time and energy, but as soon as I finish that... I'm definitely itching to put more time into this and a few of my other stories too. I love A Hero's Rebirth, and it's been recieved so well, but I'm not going to stop any of them until I reach that satisfying (or deserving) end for each of them.

Really like this storyline, but waiting impatiently for your next chapter

so starting from sharing an man for womens in Need (because the womans are incompetend to get to know nice guys which won't fit the "alpha" asshole role) it gets to an over20 to one ratio. One man obviously can successful satisfy all that women who jumps on him because the womans all have every minute an orgasem. While the first love needet to learn what she likes (by blackmail / force) and learned to sqirt, all 10 following women don't need that kind of experience or learning progress. Same for blowjobs beside Sarah the psychogist. Learning and tutoring fellow students is nice and is possible to handle next to studiying and fittness. Oh my, this must be an heavy suppiment box to keep up over 15 or 20 ejculations, not that i would had problems with that arround 20 jears without suppliments. Oh jes, of cause set up 20 or 25 trust fonds plus for x1 to x4 children in about 2 mlion dollars is also no problem. Doesen't need to work for the money when you got an billionaire dad. I got that, too. Noo, the womens who limed that arrangements are no gold diggers. They just choose an everyday-offer for 20js virgins to sell sex for money / highly overpaid jobs in reason of sexual encounters. We got that, too. Whohoo, what about that blackbeld in freefight, mma / brazilian juijitsu? No training needet anymore i guess, also not with an bigh specialized security team (to protect the only succsessor of an billionaire father)? And talking of, surely an totally hot, fit + cute 36js old mother of some staff surely lost her only man in her live and kept herself alone and happy (but lonesome) against all the other bad men. Because she can't find such an good man like the blackmailing rapist. Oh, sorry - i just forgot that this was totally ok to do for an such good men which women can trust. Not lime the other assholes who just fuck arround with other joung girls/women who just want to have some fun and are bad sluts because they all are infected whores. I got that and we all understand.

Thanks to the author for writing / publishing, even with some obvios grammatical errors (and i am not englisch/american). I would just wish the storyline would not be too overdone at some points. Or bring in some magical lamps and gems, some fairytale wichcraft to get away from this loopsidet pathethic pseudo-bitches. Staying virgins because the can't find an just nice guy buf fucking the rich (for nothing) blackmailing rapist after 1 h they barely got to know him. Oh, he is the now-rich guy, fucking 10 or 15 girls in front of me so i must fuck him too. Because i am too precious to start an natural relationship with an regular guy. And i am soo rightous to stay away from the normal guys who dont blackmail and rape women and who did not have millions in the back. Oh, Courtney seems to have lost all own sexual desires and is happy by aquiering other hysteric (hysteria in medical terms for sexual unsatisfied womens) virgins to be deflowered. What did you call men who got off by deflowering as much virgins as possible? Ah right, the self countious equal-righthours.

Love this story line. Every chapter has a new and exciting twist. Hope to see new chapters soon.