All Comments on 'Total Destruction'

This may be a good story but I'll never know. The whole opening premise was so unrealistic, the characters so bloody stupid, and the responses of the company boss and the assistant, Myra, so child-like that I lost the will to continue.

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There was no room for doubt at all: Kelly is cheating with Roger, Roger has set him up, the boss is a moron who jumps to huge conclusions without any proof (God only knows how he manages to run a company), the daughter is as vapid and imbecilic as her mother, and the lovely Myra is a dumb pawn in their game with the unthinking reactions of Pavlov's dog.

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Frankly, the protagonist is better off without any of them. Sorry author, but the plot lacks any element of subtlety or surprise, and it's just too simplistic and over-the-top for me. And no, I didn't bother to score it since I never finished it.

having sex with someone else in the next room her husband's blood-stained carpet. that goes way beyond seduction. just went from one extreme to another. she has way too many mental problems for that prison visit scene

What a great story. It was well written and covered the taboo of suicide very well. I thought kelly hit what she deserved but Roger did not get enough punishment. I thought Bart was a great character even though he did try to kill himself. Well done

An excellent tale told well...I thought you handled the darker themes of self harm realistically

Please feel free to dismiss me as a grammar Nazi, but I see this with too many writers who have actual talent.

"Have your second cousin contact me once Mr Other and her have spoken" is wrong.

"Have your second cousin contact me once she and Mr Other have spoken" is correct.

If you drop 'Mr Other' from the sentence, you will see that 'she' is the correct pronoun.

Pick one:

"Have your second cousin contact me once her has spoken" Or

"Have your second cousin contact me once she has spoken"

An other outstanding story. Great development and extremely well written. Thank you

After my wife life me, I was in a very dark place, it to me two month to stop thinking just to end everything. So thanks, I know what it like to be down there, you got it right.

Why guys are always afraid or always find it difficult to share the assets acquired during marriage with their ex-wife?

You were 2 to acquire this heritage!

Even though she never worked, she contributed by babysitting, raising, cleaning, cooking for the whole family!

A marriage is a partnership where everyone brings and contributes their skills.

Also, if the woman has never worked, this was done with your consent.

So why is the 50/50 split unfair?

And guys, if you loved your money so much, don't get married, don't start a family and above all don't have children.

Fuck!

What at story!

I could not put this down, mr Other, wow!

twenty years ago, I tried to take my life with pills and drink. your opening had chills coming up my spine. What I LOVED was how you dealt with the aftermath. For me it was depression with work and it was my wife that picked me up and loved me back. The Dreams, yeah I still have them as well.

Couple of minor mistakes in the story, but nothing so bad that you couldn't follow along. But seriously, I felt this story in my bones and to date this is one of your best!

Thank you for honoring those of us who struggle with suicide. You were right that it never goes away. You are such a talented story teller, I can't wait to see what you do next. This is one of my all time favorite stories, ever!

I enjoyed the story. Thanks for sharing your talent. And Endymion was an excellent book.

I live in the U.S. and am retired from the U.S. Army. I know we have a much larger population here, but the numbers here are not good either. U.S. military veterans alone commit suicide at a rate of 22 a day or about 1 every 65 minutes. And although veterans only make up about 7.6 percent of the U.S. adult population they make up 13.5 percent of the adults that commit suicide in this country. Thank you for bringing this to light. Hopefully it will help tp prevent a few deaths before their time.

Hated this storey, I have lived through blacker days than this storey portrays, but stayed positive and rose above depression on my own. Don’t like depressive storeys like this although it ended up having a happy ending but not because of Bart. ⭐️

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This was melodramatic, extremely melodramatic. It was a cliche in every single way. I am not going to break down all the issues but i will say that you would have been better served had you used some restraint in your writing of both the betrayal and the events after the hospital. It's simply too much of everything. Also, contrary to multiple characters saying how lucky the husband was because the framing was so well conceived, it wasn't. You can't just write that without showing why Boris and Natasha were such criminal masterminds. For example, they opened an account in town and showed up together pretending to be Bart. The police wouldn't find that video immediately?

My biggest suggestion is to just take a little more time developing your plot and characters.

It was an okay story, but it wasn't a particularly satisfying BtB.

Here's why:

1) The husband was pathetically weak. He didn't try to fight the frame job or even protest his innocence. He just gave up, then tried to end himself. It's hard to respect a protagonist that pitiful.

2) Bart didn't orchestrate his revenge. The lawyer and detective did it all for him.

3) Showing any forgiveness to Kelly was nauseating. She cheated on him, conspired to have him framed for fraud, turned all their friends and his daughter against him, then gloated at seeing him driven to the brink of despair. The woman was a cruel, malignant cunt, and I was disgusted that Bart acted so civilly towards her.

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The way this should have ended, was Bart having the final meeting with Kelly after the trial, and absolutely ripping her apart for her betrayal. She cheated on him, ruined his career, destroyed his relationship with their daughter, and drove him to try to commit suicide. When Kelly was finally confronted with the horrific consequences of her actions, she should have taken her own life in prison because she couldn't handle the guilt. It would've taken the suicide theme full circle and made for a much more dramatic ending.

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The rebound relationship with Myra was fine, although it was painfully obvious from the start that she was going to end up being Kelly's replacement.

Forgiving Grace for her knee-jerk reaction to her mother's false accusations was understandable. It would've been more fitting if he'd reconciled with her at Kelly's funeral though.

WONDERFUL STORY! 20 stars aren't even close. Keep writing, PLEASE!

I don’t understand how Kelly got more time in prison than Roger; that would never have happened in the US. At least here, neither would have gotten more than five years, and out in four.

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Unless the Aussie dollar is worth a lot more n the US dollar, a couple hundred thousand embezzlement is hardly worth the effort by someone making the kind of salary someone like Roger old have been paid. Too much risk for too little reward, and even if the fraud against Bart had not been discovered, the embezzled funds would go back to the company.

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I get it: without the embezzlement there’s no story here, but for Roger, this made no sense. He was getting pussy from Kelly, and she’d either dump Bart or not, while Roger was risking nothing by not framing Bart. There was just nothing to gain for Roger. If he was skilled enough to seduce a woman in a happy marriage to a successful man and good lover, he was skillful enough to find and seduce a single woman.

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The writing was good, though everything fell too neatly in place for Bart: he gets the better, hotter new wife, he gets a million dollar settlement, he starts a new, successful business, and everything is peaches but the cream.

Unconvincing.

For someone who went that far, no way she can be remorseful, especially only after she is actually caught. After all, she already confessed long before they caught her.

Should have delayed the 'remorse' after she actually served her sentence for some time.

Excellent story, just like all the rest of your stories. Glad that I favorited you! 5 BIG FAT TWINKLY NOVA STARS!

Another great story

Well done very very nice story. 5⭐ well deserved.

We never know when depression can hit us, or how we will react in certain circumstances.

Why in most stories, men are primarily concerned with the sharing of assets and the amount of pensions rather than giving of their own physical and especially emotional or spiritual well-being.

I'm sorry but to live free, to live in total respect for oneself, one's ideas and one's ideals, is well worth any sharing and any pension.

it was the standard betrayal plot. Boring character development, 2 stars instead of 3 because of the length.

Okay. The faithful, hot woman waiting for her chance is too pat, though. But you do see it fairly often. D

Very good read I enjoyed it 👍

I stopped reading when the hot assistant falls for her boss.

Fuck, can you get any more goddamn cliche than that? Might as well have had him win the fucking lottery. And everyone, including his daughter, turned on him in an instant? For FUCK SAKE. Not ONE PERSON thought to ask if he did it?

I hated your story because it was cliched and irritating, like a burr in the saddle.

Fabulous story about a very difficuilt and heavy subject. Well written and a very smooth read. No nitpicking here, mate

I felt the hubby was cheated and should've went for nuclear btb's even with the daughter.

Great story as always.

It was refreshing to see Kelly take complete responsibility for her actions. Don't tend to see cheating wives do that very often in LW stories.

Your story while it takes place in Australia is a mirror of what happens every day here in the United States. Covid-19 has made the serious problem of suicide even worse. I like your stories and hope you continue to write more stories just like this.

Loved it. 5*

Well done! You treated the suicide attempt well and I like that you always give the MC a happily ever after. The reconciliation with everyone was a bit quick, not sure if I could forgive my daughter as quickly as the MC forgives his but I'm glad he does forgive her. Really enjoyed the whole story. 5*

Excellent job bringing Bart’s depression to light, with emphasis on the hopelessness. I’ve been there. Too many people look down on mental illness. It doesn’t go away by talking to your priest, or through deeply religious beliefs.

You also did something very difficult: your ending notes are nearly as good as the story. Kudos tor the time and attention given a very difficult topic.

Your writing is very good, thank you for sharing.

What a thoughtful, engaging story . As someone affected by suicide, I appreciate your treatment of the subject as well as your ending author comments. A 5 star story.

A well written story with a dark theme of betrayal all for the love of money and jealously. I could never understand how someone could hate another because they were jealous of the success of someone else. Should I feel bad if my neighbor make more money than I? You have to do your own thing in life and as long as you are honest and forthright don't let other peoples negative opinions of you rule your life. Live and let live, tell no lies then you won't have yo remember anything!

I know it's needed to set up the whole story, but I always struggle when a seemingly normal, loving wife falls off an emotional cliff as many writers in this genre present. Your story is no different, although not as egregious as some, like GA's 'February Sucks'. Other than that, you did an outstanding job on this story. I appreciate the complexity of the characters, their emotions, and your skillful handling of the topic of suicide. Great job! 5*

Exceptional and heart wrenching and heart warming. Betrayal and depression can crush your soul and take you to a very dark and seemingly hopeless place. If you're lucky you'll have a Myra to reach out the hand that saves you. Take care of yourselves, because you're worth it even though you may not always be able to see or feel it.

Gosh, that was intense.

I got my emotions like a roller-coaster, never felt like this before, going from dry, high, low then high again. Most stories usually got me high and depending on the ending, either low or high. But the dialogues are amazing hence that roller-coaster emotions I felt.

/

I got irked by Kelly during their conversation after the trial. I thought all the cliches' of cheating wife in LW where checked when Kelly poured out her regret to Bart -- she blamed her "lost" moments to Bart, then she blamed all the stupid, despicable actions she did to Bart, blamed all her disgusting choices to Roger's prodding. But in the end she did owned up she screwed up badly through her choices.

/

Thanks other2other1 for sharing this, in my opinion, captivating story.

Nice work.

This was really well told. We'll forgive the deux ex machina with him being found at the last minute and saved, though I think you'd have still told a compelling story about the survivors had you allowed him to die.

I struggle with how quickly the daughter abandoned the father, especially when no criminal charges arose. Never giving him a chance. That, to me, was too much of a stretch for a 'loving' daughter, but I guess necessary in order to create the despair that led to the attempted suicide.

Nice story though!

And after his release, Roger could no longer walk without a wabble. He was never the same after his ass was turned to pudding being the prisons cock puppet.

Good one! I really liked it.

Though I live in Canada and not Australia, I have seen the Bluey cartoon series with my youngest grandchildren. They are clever and thought provoking.

It was dull. I have no problem with reconciliation stories but with a boring weak protagonist who just forgave everyone it killed the story. There was no journey for redemption in anyone all the had to do was say sorry and the guy was alright with it.

Pretty good but i found it odd Kelly got twenty plus five in jail. She didnt open the accounts or forge a signature. And why was Roger mad Bart ruined his life? Thats like being in jail for robbing a bank and hating the teller for triggering the silent alarm that got you caught.

Very well written. Brings back thoughts I had in my younger years. Thank you for bringing this issue to light.

Just not the type of story I want to read in a porn site. Misplaced.

The cross borne by the men portrayed in the LW section is second only to that on Calgary. It seems years since I have seen a character developed "warts and all". This was so predictable I could anticipate every cliche practically two pages before it happened.

You checked all the boxes o2o1. You had an interesting premise for the composition of your story but denigrated into triteness and tropes.

Thanks for the effort.

Doc

loved the story very well written

Pretty good. I liked the idea of mental cruelty being a criminal offense, i.e., "...when mental cruelty charges were also brought against her for her actions against me, she was given another five years...". Is this something that actually is a punishable crime in Australia, or was this a legal error in the story? In the US, mental cruelty would be handled as a civil matter (law suit) only. But I could see you put substantial time and effort into the story. Thanks for posting.

Exciting story!

5

I really enjoyed this story it speaks volumes to me if now, there’s not a day that goes by lately that I don’t contemplate suicide.

O2O1 has become one of my favorite contributors on this site. Excellent writing talent + interesting plots = top shelf entertainment.

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Also much appreciated are the post story info blurbs…e.g., giving us an insight into the Kelly character here.

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5 strong *****

Yawn

Awesome, powerful story. Thank You! Easily 5/5

Oh my God this is awful. He hires a single mom who shows up to the office with a black eye.... he treats her like gold for years then then when their shit hits the fan she lashes out at him.... Icalls him all sorts of names..... Attacks bart .... In the hospital he says to her well it's OK

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This story is just like every other stupid loving wife's story that's out there. The husband always ends up apologizing nobody believes him The ends are taking all sorts of Violent abuse for no justifiable reason

This was a very good read, but it left me unsatisfied as it left a few loose ends that I cannot abide, hence a ‘3’ rating.

First, fuck Clarence repeatedly! While appropriately pissed off at the shenanigans, he owed Bart the same benefit of the doubt that Bart’s wife and daughter owed. Money is insufficient restitution, (more on this in a bit).

Roger was not sufficiently punished, as per page 4, where it mentioned Roger was “getting a client to pay a whole lot of money for something that never happened.” Therefore, in the case of the ‘deal’ itself, Pembrook either had dirty hands or was legitimately defrauded by Roger.

That said, this deal involved concrete and pipe, for Chrissakes. With his obvious “union” connections, Pembrook would have had both Roger and Clarence pipe-fitted for cement overshoes. Ergo, a sufficient close to Roger, and just vengeance on Clarence the Weasel (good Regan would easily recover the monetary damages from Clarence’s estate and the remnants of his lost company). In either event, Pembrook should have received a cold shoulder from Bart when attempting to become a client of Bart’s new firm. Whether he was ‘taken’ for a fool by Roger or if he was complicit in Roger’s scheme, his money is no good and his character prohibits any conciliation.

Further, Kelly’s “complex character” exposed her to the scorn and abuse of her fellow inmates; and, following several years of that abuse, would have found herself confined to a padded cell. That, coupled with the treatment of the mentally deranged by their so-called care providers, would have subjected her to a maelstrom of torture and unfathomable damage, both physically and mentally.

In the end, Grace’s ‘good Grace’ is not fully restored and is punished with an inability to conceive. She is undeserving and will not provide grandchildren to the father she abused. That honor will pass to the true daughter Tilly.

That, my friend, is complete and utter destruction.

Nice one. A good, complex story; well written, good characters and a selection of goodies and baddies. Love it.

Thank you JO...you provided an interesting story during a slow time on the Lit. I appreciate the time you spent. There was nothing that Kelly could say to get forgiveness but maybe when she was in her 60s it could have been possible. SK742

Where is the total instruction? Does anybody see any?

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This is just standard boiler plate LW crap. The children rejecting him .... Visiting the evil wife who now is filled with remorse one final time..... the secret love from the hottest woman in the world

Thank you - I truly enjoyed it. 5*

In the States, a suicidal patient is held, against their will, if necessary, until the issues can be looked at. Van Halen's album 5150 refers to the number of the law about involuntary commitment. It varies by state. Might be helpful there. Mental health treatment sucks everywhere.

If you're having problems, TALK to somebody. You don't have to feel like this.

Great story that really hit the spot in your reference to suicide. This is the first of your stories I have read and am looking forward to reading more. This story works very well in this category. THANKS

Great job!

What a ride. I almost quit reading twice. I was beginning to despise Bart because of his weakness. I had walked a mile in his shoes and came out a stronger and better man .

Good story, well told. Where do the naysayers come from? Must be planet Zog. Five big stars.

It has been aside that the best of authors can draw you in to where you become part of the story. That is the case for me. I feel as if I was part of your story. What a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings. Thank you and please keep writing and entertaining.

Very well done. You took a dark subject and did an outstanding job with it. Thanks for posting.

You continue to improve and evolve. I appreciate the effort you put forth to story development. There are only so many ways to describe sex and expose cheating. Your stories incorporate the act and deeds rather than focus on them. Look forward to your next effort.

I read Double or Nothing a while ago. I liked it. (Now I know how people feel about my long, multi-part stories.) This was a little darker but well done. I am not a wishy-washy guy and would have been on board with Roger having the shit beat out of him. (Not killed, just fucked up.) But it's not my story. The Bear approves. The M/C is a lot more forgiving than I am. But it was well done. 4 stars, keep writing. I love a happy, BTB ending.

The BEAR

My only problem with the story is that Bart comes across as a very weak individual. Way too forgiving of everyone involved.

The only thing wrong with this story is the perpetual LW need for the wronged man to have a sexier, hotter woman than the cheating wife waiting in the wings to take the wife's place. This isn't reality, but given that this is fiction, it doesn't have to be I guess! Yes, a good read and I thank the author for it, but 'realistic'? No. Not even close!

For a change the antagonists are stupid. Caught out within 48 hours.

If you need help talk to someone. your life is important.

Story could have been told in 2.5 pages.

It was a yawner.

I do enjoy the comments. I read them with as much anticipation as the story itself.

I do not,comment,on the comments, as all are entitled to their opinions.

Found one that tickled me to laughter.

What does the Anonymous ‘Doc’ have against Calgary?

I have friends there.

four letters have great power and meaning. RUOK

four letters have great power and meaning. RUOK

Four letters can help. RUOK

Four letters can help. RUOK

A dark story well written. A4 star, not a 5 basically because Roger, the seducer, the mastermind, the instigator and malevolent planner is out of jail almost a decade BEFORE Kelly, the manipulated accessory.

Thank you everyone for the comments.

I love how engaged everyone is, so many passionate comments. I get that this is cliche, over dramatic and everything else that the haters have positioned.

Thank you to those couple of commenters that were able to identify with the story through past experience and to the person who emailed me asking for references for depression, I have sent you a reply with a couple of the web site that have help lines to talk. Please call them or feel free to email me and I would be happy to correspond in any way I can to help.

Thank you to those that pointed out the mistakes, these are on me, two of the big ones I found were post edit where I made changes, it always happens, and most likely always will. Everyone is welcome to their comments on my writing, but don't throw disgusting personal insults (only the second time I have deleted a comment).

A couple of people commented about timing and Grace.

Timing - In Kelly's discussion with Bart after court, she laid out that much of what happened was put into place over a period of months, culminating in that week where everything happened, this included pushing Grace to break things down between Bart and her.

Grace - I suppose I could have expanded this a little, however the forgiveness between father and daughter was not instant. if you re-read some of this it took months, it also took effort, hence the statement of walking on egg shells, and that at her wedding which was over a year later that they got back to a father daughter position.

I guess that i'm a bit of walking cliche, right now, the stories i'm writing are all going to fall into those themes, if you don't like it then read my authors notes and look at the tags before you start reading. i'm working my way through all the classic themes and my next two stories are going to be the same...

Again thank you to everyone for reading the story, thank you for engaging in the process. I still am largely writing these stories for myself first, they are helping me to process different things in my life. If you get something from it then I am glad. If you don't like it, thats okay too ;)

Cheers

John Other

Wow, that was a very, very well told story. Everything was really right there. The characters were believable, the plot was realistic, and the outcome was excellent. I say that very rarely at this point, but this is a story that deserves 5* with respect! Hope there are more good stories like this one!!!

BUT,

I wish authors would quit using this useless cliché:

"You MUST make amends with her. She is your Mother"

Why does that not work with Fathers too.

and you should never tell your kids they should accept their Mother regardless of what a Cancer they are. The kids can make up their own minds

An extremely good story written with great feeling. I'd like to read what was edited out.

I am 71 years old and I have attempted suicide 15 times. The first time when I was 7 years old. I was trying to get away from the physical, mental, emotional, sexual abuse. I have been doing better the last 10 years. Thank you for the wonderful story.

Like most of the authors on this site, this author has no clue how real humans act.

Great story, had me in

Scores 5/5

A very good story, Sir. 5 Stars. Yes, a heavy topic but well handled in this tale. Your ending notes are very appropriate, and I do hope you continue to contribute here.

Bah. Humbug. Every plot point was telegraphed. And the daughter? Good grief!

Thanks for writing this. It wasn't bad. I just didn't like it.

Great story, lots of issues. LP

Interesting story, well plotted.

Anony asked, in the eighth comment, why men are depicted here as unwilling to agree to a 50/50 split. It’s simple: in LW, that would mean the cheating wife won, and the saintly husband lost.

Good story but there has to be a lot of suspenion of belief:

Bart was written as a very good man - a saint - a good husband and father and a well liked employee that was kind to all. Why...?

1) Why would his good friend want to frame him and send him to jail just because he was jeaous of his abilities? if Roger was that petty....and crazy, Bart and others (including Kelly) woudl have seen some sign of it -

2) Why would Kelly, just becaue she felt "wrong" for a short period of time because he seemed to love her more than she him, decide to be complicit in an affair with a guy who pretended to be her husband's best friend but hated him because he was jealous of his abilities (see #1) and additionally agree to be complacent in sending him to jail? She must also have not loved her daughter since the ultimate plan was to flee the country with Roger, leaving said daughter and future grandchildren, forever as a fugitive of the law when prople became suspicious. Those are the actions of a crazy person and Bart probably would have seen signs and been concrned long, long before any of this took place. Kelly went toxic far too fast against the man she loved and spent her life with for over 20 years.

3) Why would Clarence automatically jump to the conclusion that Bart was the wrongdoer. Didn't you say that Bart ws the design engineer and Roger was responsible for the financials? Any cost overruns and omissions would have run through Roger. Would Bart be so stupid as to let this come out so easily in front of the client? Why would Clarence not suspect both?

4) And then there is Grace. My father is one of the best men I know and probably a lot like your character Bart. If someone made those accusations about him, even if it was my mother, there is no way I'd believe it until I spoke to him and asked for his side of the story.

5) Back to Roger, not only was he unbalanced he was incredibly stupid. You can't be part of a team that embezzles money, immiediatly point fingers at the other guy - your best friend - and then not hide the fact that you are sleeping with his wife. They put the cameras in the house for goddsake! They would obviousy be part of the suicide investigation and certainly would have been confisicated when suspicion began to arise about the two them - which as mentioned earlier, they figured it would.

Just too much unrealism to take too seriously but it was well written and I rated it high anyway. I do appreciate the sentimet on suicide. It is a good reminder to look after the mental health of those we love as well as others that we have concersns about.

In many cheating wives stories there is the request for an hour of time with the husband. Fuck her. What she did was so vicious never talking again was too soon. Sorry she got caught. The daughter should have been pushed out too. Imagine believing that without asking him. Fuck her too.

I often wonder what these stories would be like if there wasn't a woman in the wings waiting to catch the injured man as his ex wife pushes him out into the ditch like in this story. That caused me to just plow through the sex scenes because I found the drama of Bart getting his life back more interesting. I also though there was a little disconnect where Myra goes to get his stuff, the two gargoyles are there rutting but they don't see the blood all over the bedroom or the fact that it was a crime scene? Granted the wife was dialed in on this plot but at the same time it wasn't until they were caught and on trial that the story showed us her remorse at the attempted suicide. Still good stuff, enjoyable even with the darkness our hero lived to get the life he deserved.

You needed a "Kelly Resolution" Kind of an over done storyline, especially the Grace character. 4/5

Cut and paste story.

At least that first incredibly cliched first page. How about you try writing a realistic wife instead of using the same LW wife EVERYONE uses...you know the Im too lazy and not good enough of a writer to make the witless reader dislike her with my skills so I'll go the usual, cliched idiotic route with what you gave us.

Yeah I stopped when I saw what kind hack writing this mess was going to be. I read the other comments and other then those fellating you, its clear my assumption as to the rest of this was correct.

He could likely have sued the cops for false arrest, the detectives did sn absolute horrendous job. One of the most glaring things would be Bart's supposed signature on the bank account and on the work forms. No matter how good Roger got forensics would know it wasn't Bart's signature and would have tells it was Roger who did it.

The other thing is Bart should have not settled with his old company. The story would have been a huge deal, and by having a public trial it would ruin Clarence and a jury likely would have given him and Myra a lot more, they would crucify Clarence for being such a scumbag.

My one thing in the story I would change is Bart apologizing for being weak. Given what happened to him, that makes it seem like he was a coward or it was a moral failing, the way the scumbag Catholic church still treats attempted suicide. It is neither weakness or moral failing, it is where someone is so low,so hopeless, they literally lose the will to live and can't see out. The first thing anyone should do is tell him not to apologize, saying someone is selfish or whatnot is narcissistic and yes judgemental

Thank you for the afterward about suicide, there is still much work to be done, to finally shut the gaping moral crevasse that is religious stupidity and realizing what it is, a part of being human and something that can hit any of us. I have never attempted suicide fortunately, but I have been in enough pain and low enough to contemplate it, and it is a place that literally ppl should say "there but for the grace of God go I".

Solid.

It was a creative start but quickly turned into just another pathetic cuckold turned romance story.

It would have been better if Bart had responded harshly towards Myra when waking up at the hospital. The instructions to Regan should have been destroy everyone, starting with a law suit against the cousin that worked at the hospital and contacted Myra for violating his medical privacy. Second a restraining order against Myra to keep her away from him, so as not to further complicate his divorce and criminal charges. Bart had somewhere to when he left the hospital and that was jail to surrender himself for the theft charge, no need for clothes just show up and be arraigned in a hospital gown.

The way you wrote this Bart could have at least agreed to the one hour conversation with Kelly be her speaking from the stand in court to be part of the trial’s public record.

I stopped reading after Bart and Kelly’s conversation because the next part was obviously some disgusting reconciliation with the daughter that so quickly threw him away. Since he was not going to walk away from her, I made the choice to walk away from them and some happily ever after ending.

Kelly just wakes up one morning feeling lost? And within a few weeks is fucking the man who wants to destroy her entire family? C'mon man, its Martian Slut Ray! Ridiculous. And when the loyal loving faithful wife turns into a cheating betraying destroying monster, the husband is completely blind sided? It was not much of a marriage if a spouse can so completely and violently change her personality, character, and morals, and the other spouse ignores what his brain and his instincts are telling him. It was almost like the wife became Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, without arousing the obvious consternation from either her husband or daughter. In fact the daughter apparently drank the same cool aide Roger was feeding to her whore mother. It was too drastic too soon for no logical reason.

Overall a lame and frustrating story, about people suddenly and inexplicably acting completely out of character. The author should be ashamed of himself, jerking his characters around like that. But thanks for the effort. Try again, but go to the Reality story first. This story could use some.

Great story John and I thank you for your insight regarding mental illness I do went down that path after my marriage breakup thankfully I was talked out of topping myself Still get very bad nights BUT i am still alive Thank you to you and your wife both lovely people (jaybee186)

I loved the story BUT I don't believe Roger would have let it go and slunk off to South Australia. His personality would have led him to try and hurt our MC in every way he could.

He was jealous of Bart so he would have attacked him upon release. Maybe not straight away but within a few months. AND the outcome would have been bad for Roger.

Very enjoyable read. Not totally believable of course, but who cares? 5 stars! Will be reading more o2o1 stories.