Touch Pt. 01

Everything began on a Tuesday in November. Just a normal working day for me and if I'd been sensible and taken my break on station then nothing in my life would have changed. But I didn't because I preferred my own company spending thirty minutes by myself reading a book eating my lunch. Yep antisocial is my middle name.

The job suited me down to the ground as I got to drive by myself from job to job as they came in. More often than not after I'd done a job I'd be sent to a likely area to wait for my next. Anyway it meant I could park up in the middle of nowhere and just sit quietly which was fantastic.

Basically my job was the best bit of my life because it limited the need to interact with other people to purely work related situations apart from the beginning and end of my shifts. At the end of the shift it's be off home to my wife and our increasingly fractious home life, so as I said the job was the best bit of my life... It wasn't as if we hated each other it was more we'd been together for such a long time but we didn't have the impetus to split up.

That Tuesday was one of those late autumn early winter days that are clear and dry with bright sunshine but pretty chilly. Now if you're not from the UK pretty chilly here means a few degrees above freezing so everyone's wrapped up in jackets and looking at winter sun brochures at their desks. If you're from anywhere more north it was balmy shirt sleeve weather. So there I am sitting in the car reading and watching the world go by when a job comes in.

It's a pretty insistent noise when the radio goes off and it has to be cancelled and acknowledged within a few seconds otherwise there's potential for an "chat without coffee" with your line manager. So I do that, start the car, look at my screen for the details and wait for Sally sat Nav to wake up and tell me where I'm off to.

You'd think I'd know where I was going after 10 years but it's pretty rural round here and I could be sent to a village that's four houses a mile down a dead end lane to a city that's got 2 million inhabitants and I cover an area of several thousand square miles. This time I'm in luck and the jobs about 4 miles away, unfortunately it's the middle of nowhere so it's tractor dodging time.

Now the car I drove for work is a normal estate with all wheel drive. Where it differs are the blue lights on the roof and grill and green and yellow markings all over. So once those lights are on it's fully licensed hooligan time. Obviously, not really, but I don't have to keep the speed limits and people are meant to get out of my way. Although the majority of the public seem to think that wing and rear view mirrors are an optional extra.

So there I am driving along and off goes the radio, "beep beep" and that's bloody annoying as I'm trying to concentrate on missing the car driven by the blind deaf driver in front and avoid the oncoming traffic as I overtake. "734 receiving over" I say as I pull the lever behind the steering wheel. At the same time I pull back onto the correct side of the line in front of the car I've just overtaken who only now realises what was happening.

"Control, 734 we have a confused report of a unwell male outside a barn. No back up available. We're trying to free up a crew... We've been unable to contact the reporter but we'll keep trying and pass and further details as we get them" so says my dispatcher. Now I know she's being truthful but we both know there's no crew coming anytime soon. It's the middle of nowhere and the nearest vehicles going to be bloody miles away, possibly in a different county and mobile signal is notorious unreliable round here.

"734 acknowledged, no back up available, I'll assess and stand down backup if not required". This is a normal job for me. I know it sounds bad to have somebody collapsed but it's astonishing how many people faint at the sight of blood after a paper cut so I wasn't too concerned. I ran through which bags I'd need first and a quick mental refresh of the likely causes and what I'd need to do to counter them. All useless of course because each job throws up a new problem. However this was going to be a job like nothing I'd had before.

I pulled onto the farm track leading to a big gray metal barn. The track wasn't too bad with only some major pot holes and the barn was one of those metallic industrial looking constructions you see in many fields. Several rusting shipping containers with random piles of failed agricultural equipment completed the scene. Definitely not the sort of thing a London based banker would buy to convert to a 5 bedroom house with a pool out the back. I drove onto the concrete hard standing and looked for my patient.

Usually there's someone waving madly but not today. Today there was a bloke lying on the ground all dressed in white apart from the bits that were bright red from the blood leaking everywhere. This was when it got really bad so I rapidly put in a priority call to control and jumped out grabbing as many bags as I could carry and ran over. I looked at him looking for wounds and assessing ABC's. To put it mildly he wasn't going to need my help as he'd come apart. There was a mobile phone lying beside him that had seen better days and I suspect that's why control hadn't got any more details

Now I looked up and saw that the barn door was open so I got up and walked over and looked inside the 2 storey barn. First thing I noticed was it wasn't a barn inside but a large sectioned off room. Second thing I noticed was the bodies all over equally as red as body I was beside. "Fuck" I muttered and leaving my bags I ran back to my car. You see the issue in my job is to save life but to that I have to be alive. The rule is two down get out otherwise you risk joining them.

The car was rammed into reverse and I shot backwards down the track. At this point control decided to respond to my priority message and I virtually shouted into the radio "734 declaring major incident, repeat major incident! Advice multiple casualties possibly all fatal unknown cause! Require HART. Police. Fire to my location. Fuck!"

Now that isn't radio protocol and could get me a bollocking but justified as I realised despite my best efforts I had blood on my knees which would be soaking through to my skin. The problem was my best guess was an infective or chemical weapon cause. Control took this time to respond with "confirm major incident your location. Fire Police and HART informed. Can you confirm you're ok?". There was a bit of a wobble in her voice but nothing to mine previously.

It was only going to get worse as I felt a heat building up inside me and my heart beat became noticeably irregular. "No I'm not - need assistance now!". My vision started to go so I slammed my foot on the brake but confused and terrified I forgot the clutch and the engine stalled. My thoughts were just "fuck it" and I reached to the glove box.

Now in there were a variety of injectors that we were supposed to use on ourselves in the event of a chemical attack and this was the time. My vision was purpling out and my hearing was just roaring noises so I knew I was losing consciousness so my thought process was a bit suspect. The last thing I remember was sticking each auto injector against my thigh until they were all gone then that was it.

Now I've been told what happened next was HART turned up and had their usual argument with the fire service over who was doing what but once that was over my body was found and retrieved from my car. After they realised I wasn't actually dead just bleeding out and barely breathing resuscitation was started. A compulsory trip through an inflatable tent and much decontamination later I was taken to an actual hospital to die.

Bizarrely and despite lots of predictions of my impending death I didn't which left everyone with a problem of how to treat me. This was explained much later as I wasn't taking any notice at this time. About two weeks after that job I started showing signs of life in itu. This is where it starts to get weird.

I came to slowly. It's not like tv/cinema where one second the patient is unconscious the next they're awake and chatting. It's much more like a fever dream/major hangover combo and I only have impressions of a dark room and lots of machines. This probably lasted about a week and was time I really don't want to repeat. My first proper recollection is seeing my wife Sara sitting beside me looking tired then surprised as I said "hi". I say I said hi but it probably sounded like a frog clearing it's throat. But she realised and leant forward and kissed me crying as she did. This was the most affection she'd shown in months if not years so I was a little shocked but willing to go with it.

Not that I could do much more to be honest. I was feeling bloody weak and my wife leaning on me pressed me into the bed. Now as I said earlier home life had been fractious and part of that had been my interest in running and general outdoor activity which my wife saw as me trying to keep out of the house. If I'm honest, as there's no point in not being, she was probably right.

However her interests consisted staying in the house and working out which foods would bring on diabetes the fastest. Somewhat harsh but as she weighed 40 kg more than me despite being nearly 30cm shorter I rest my case.

She pulled away from me crying and went to the door and shouted for the nearest nurse. Now this prompted a flurry of activity in the room with lots of medical staff arriving all at once. They were all looking at me as if I'd grown two heads and lights were shone in my eyes, pulses felt and questions from all directions. I couldn't understand a thing.

Oh I could understand the language and the questions but couldn't work out why they were being asked. It suddenly went quiet when a severe looking woman dressed in a dark green set of scrubs walked in. In her forties with short dark hair and glasses she looked no nonsense but was smiling. Without raising her voice she said "can we please give Simon some room please." With that everyone started to shuffle out leaving Sara and her alone with me.

She smiled quietly at me without showing her teeth and said "Welcome back Mr Davis, do you mind if I call you Simon?" She asked and I nodded. "I'm your doctor, Dr Fredericks." Now this was confusing and worrying at the same time.

"Where've I been?" I slurred with my tongue stuck to my mouth and dry throat. She poured and passed over a glass of water from a bedside cabinet before continuing.

"Do you remember going to your last job at a farm?" I nodded and she carried on. "This is going to be a lot to take in so stop me if you need. Well you seem to have come into contact with a bioweapon spread by contact with body fluids. Fortunately, and that is a problematic use of fortunately, it seems to have lost its force by the time you came into contact with it. Your use of the injectors in your car may have helped but you had arrested when you were found."

"What!" I croaked although my voice was coming back a bit " how long was I down?" I was imagining all sorts of possible disabilities and quickly started moving my limbs checking they were all working and not just there.

"We're not sure but even though you came back after one cycle we think it may have been a while." She paused for a moment as though she wasn't sure what to say. "We thought you were possibly never going to regain consciousness." She then took a deep breath and continued "Your mri showed brain damage when we got you here..."

I sat up rapidly at this and started spluttering "what!" I started panicking and breathing heavily rapidly and felt faint. I started to feel terrified but Dr Fredericks smiled sympathetically at me and put a hand on my hand.

Sara started to speak "try and stay calm Simon, listen." but I cut her off in my terror.

"Tell me now am I damaged?" I almost shouted.

Dr Fredericks started again quite quickly "No you're not damaged. At least not now. Your last MRI was completely normal with no brain impairment and we can't find any sign of any infection either. We need to run more tests but we can find no physical damage." She stopped and started again "What I mean is there was damage but it's gone now and we don't know why or how."

She held my hand and looked at me and that was the first time I felt it. A warm sensation in my hand and it almost felt as if the warmth was moving to her hand from mine. She looked puzzled and moved her hand looking at it for a second. Then Sara held my hand and said "no one understands what happened but your body repaired itself." Where we were holding hands the warm feeling started again and I felt that odd movement of heat to her hand.

She too moved her hand and looked at me. I looked at them both and said in a level a voice as I could manage " I need to know this, I want you to be completely honest with me. I need you to tell me everything. You must tell me the truth." At this point my life changed although I didn't know it.

Dr Fredericks looked slightly lost and less in control and my wife looked bemused at my last statement. Dr Fredericks cleared her throat and stated "You died, we're not sure how long before you were resuscitated and we found you had brain damage. We fully expected you to die or at best have massively impaired cognitive abilities but as far a we can tell everything's back to normal"

I looked at my wife and she nodded and said quietly "I was expecting you to be dead by now, in fact I've been checking your will and life insurance." This completely floored me, both of them had for different reasons.

"You've checked my life insurance!?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing with this and this seemed the easier to concentrate on. "What else? Have you made plans for your life as a widow?" I can't say I sounded pleased as I said this.

Shejust answered neutrally "oh yes, I was planning on leaving work with the money and seeing if Richard would like to move somewhere with me"

I just stared at her. I'd just regained my senses and my wife was calmly telling me of her plans to move on with her 'friend' Richard. I knew who he was of course but hadn't thought there was anything between them. But thinking about it neither of them enjoyed exercise and spent lunchtimes together at their workplace enjoying high calorie snacks. "So I suppose my survival has put a bit of a damper on your plans then." I said rather acidly.

"It has a bit" she replied. It was too much to take and I lost it.

I glared at her an through gritted teeth said "I know where I stand then, I want you to leave here now and not contact or speak to me again. I will arrange a solicitor and we can get divorced as soon as possible. Have all of my clothes and possessions put in the storage service because I'm not coming back. Leave."

At that she just stood and left the room. I watched her walking down the corridor as the door closed her huge backside covered by a pair of trousers one size at least too small for her. I was shocked by her revelations but equally by the fact there'd been no tears or histrionics. It wasn't like her at all. But all I honestly felt was an overwhelming surge of relief that I wouldn't have to put up with her ever again.

Turning round I realised Dr Fredericks was stood there with a interested expression on her face but no sign of embarrassment at witnessing this rather distressing scene. She didn't seem inclined to say anything or move so I asked "what happens now?"

She appeared to pull herself together a bit and simply stated "we need to do some bloods, check your scans again and start physical therapy sessions before we can move to discharge which if everything checks out won't be long from now."

That at least sounded positive. "Can I ask you something Dr?" I said gently.

"Of course you can." She replied and then added "You have told me to be honest."

That puzzled me a bit but I carried on "What was going on at that farm?"

She looked worried at that and her face looked conflicted "I can't tell you I'm afraid."

That really worried me. "Why can't you?" I asked. Her face looked happier with that question.

She said "because I've been told not to tell anyone what was found."

Now I was really unhappy and I almost shouted "What! Who told you not to tell me and what did they tell you not to say!"

Her face cleared and her slight smile returned which was odd and then she explained. "I don't know their names but they had security service passes that our trust solicitors assured me were genuine. The farm was a lab and someone was experimenting with viruses. Not as a weapon but noones clear what it they were doing. Some of my colleagues gossiping think it was a cellular repair system which is why those bodies you found had virtually exploded. We think you got an attenuated dose that made you bleed out but didn't kill you. We also think that as you had a virtually complete replacement blood transfusion and dialysis to contain your organ failure that it's been flushed from your system" She stopped and looked at me.

This was too much and I couldn't work out why she'd told me. So I asked "I thought you said you couldn't tell me?"

She just looked at me and said simply "You told me to tell you everything and be truthful. I need to get your investigations organised, is that everything?"

Totally overwhelmed by a number of life changing situations I just nodded I being exhausted I tried to sleep. It didn't take long.

The next day was a bit of a blur of needles, samples and machines. I didn't really have time to take In the fact I was going to get divorced and would need somewhere to live when I was discharged. Never mind why people were telling me everything I asked after touching them. I suspect it says more about how my marriage had gone that rather than being concerned or angry I was relieved and actually quite happy by the thought of never seeing Sara again. In fact after a good nights sleep I was feeling pretty grateful to her and Richard.

I ended up at last in physiotherapy which was a bit of a joke as I was completely mobile. However I did see myself in a mirror for the first time in approximately 4 weeks and I looked good. Now I'm a runner and hiker and have the physique of a bean pole. However I'd filled out in the chest and had defined muscles. I also realised my hair had lost the gray and my face looked younger too.

This was very very odd. In fact impossible. I'd been in a coma, had lost most of my own blood and none of that has ever been mentioned as a way to gain defined abs and pecs. I realised something else massively strange was going on. I appeared to have gotten younger and fitter, looking more like the way I'd always wanted to look and my wife and Dr Fredericks had done what I'd asked without any doubt hesitation.

It had been just after I'd touched their hands and that warm sensation had occurred. With a start I realised Dr Fredericks had said the security services were involved and knew I'd need to get away from the hospital soon. Not because I had any idea of what was going on but I had a feeling my change of appearance would be noticed and I didn't want to suddenly become a lab rat.

When I was alone in my room I checked my locker and found a rucksack from home with several changes of clothes and my wallet. I got changed into normal day clothes which had fit me before the incident but the trousers were loose around the waist band and the t shirt a bit tight around the chest. My wallet with bank cards was there too so I put in my pocket. I was just checking myself in the mirror when the room door opened after a gentle knock a short lady entered.

She was wearing the hospital admin uniform of a dark blue top and skirt so I figured a receptionist or similar. "Mr Davis." She said rather timidly.