All Comments on 'Training of Nancy Ch. 01'

she was "nancy" at the start and "mary" at the end

Sorry...a sexy slap is great. A punch in the stomach doesn't belong in an erotic story. You don't know what is erotic.

Your writing is terrible! Read your stories before you post them. Your wording makes absolutely no sense whatever.

BDSM is safe, sane and consensual. The story's content exhibits none of these standards. If anything, it should be in the 'non-consent/reluctance' category. Head slapping and stomach punching is plain and simple assault and battery. Blackmail has nothing to do with BDSM. Please get your head examined.

BDSM is SSC Safe Sane and Consensual.... this story is none of these. It is very poorly written, bad grammer and bad story flow. Pay attention to names... you changed mid story.... this is awful.

Interesting initial premise but got way out of hand ... cruel and painful sex is not that erotic. And as other readers have pointed out, your English needs some work.

And you seemed very impatient to get to that point quickly. (Can anyone really be turned on by a punch in the stomach?)

I can't imagine where you go from here without producing a fairly mindless series.

If you'd brought her forward reluctantly but showed how she could have been excited by the domination and then brought her into bondage, it could've been interesting. And you could've drawn it out in an interesting, exciting way.

1st story huh. It shows. Course, crude, absurd pain isn't part of what you mean but what you need. That to show you that this wasn't arousing except for the few who need pain.

Do you need pain jaccie? Did you type this 1 handed? Time to crawl back under the rock you should be under. A punch in the stomach - you are sick jaccie - get some help soon.

I think you did quite well. The master should have broke her jaw, and sent her home without a couple of teeth. I think a punch in the gut was quite restrained behavior in her first training session. You always have to make a strong memorable impression the first time together.

Id have made her go fuck every man in a homeless shelter for ex cons and get a signed affadavit from at least 50 men that they had all had unprotected sex with her.

She is a fucking slut anyway just trying to be a nice housewife. You can see what her priorities are by her reasoning about not wanting her husband to divorce her and get any alimony. Fuck her. Degrade her and do everything imaginable to her just short of snuffing the phony bitch.

After he is through with her, that might even be an option too.

This story feels like it's in its first draft and could use a great deal of improvement. You should use the Literotica forums as an excellent resource for feedback and editing assistance.

Your grammar and vocabulary errors were glaring in several places and it made it very difficult to get into the flow of the story. Most people are pretty tolerant of missing commas or run on sentences, but please use a spell-checker or get an editor's help next time.

The story feels rushed and the content doesn't live up to a basic concept. Was the violence really necessary? I don't see how punching or physically harming anyone with complete malice behind the actions serves as an erotic story -- maybe it's worthy of a humiliation/pain/torture site, but Literotica's standards tend to be a bit higher than that. Please read other top-rated stories in the categories you write in for ideas and inspiration about what's fitting for this site.

Anonymous in the USA, your comments are sickening.

This is just gross. And ungrammatical. Learn about punctuation, will you?

Unfortunately the only folk who will switch onto this would possibly be genuine sadists or psychotics. I am afrid that its OTT in terms of inflicting pain without the necessary torture of the mind and development of eroticism. Whats going to happen next Will he wont he? Dialogue is also very limited Words heighten the senses and emotions of all parties. Pity she didnt cotch on his bed Then he could have really wacked her head off. Temper the extreme violence and use your mind to fuck her Betterluck next time

Yes the story has potential but lacks editing and proofreading. You loose so many points by not editing properly. You have potential now work to show your true ability.