Trainwreck

"Fuck yeah I do!" Garrett bellowed at the screen.

"Shh!" Autumn said from over his shoulder.

On the screen, she walked up closer to the camera and positioned herself so that only her face and breasts could be seen. "Okay, here comes your first ever glimpse at the girls!" she said as she carefully, one at a time, pulled out her tits. Garrett feared he would just cum in his pants at the sight of them as they fell into view. Her nipples appeared to be rock hard. She took one of her fingers, stuck it in her mouth, and brought it down to her breast, toying with the nipple in small circles around it. "Oh, Garrett," she moaned in the video, bringing her other hand up to the other breast and squeezing it gently. "I want you so bad, baby," she cried, tilting her head back and exposing her fullness to the center of the camera. She brought her face back to the center and spoke once more. "Thanks again for being so patient with me, baby. I know it's tough. It's tough for me, too. One day, I promise, you'll get to have fun with me in this. Until then, I hope the video helps bridge the gap." She winked and kissed the camera. Then she stood up, turned around, and lifted the negligee briefly to show off her thong and mostly bare ass to the camera before quickly turning back around and ending the recording.

"Fuuuuuuck," Garrett groaned, his hand pushed firmly into his cock.

"I'm guessing you kinda liked that?" Autumn asked.

"Fuuuuuuck," he repeated simply.

"So...you ready to go ahead and check off item number five on the list real quick?"

"Item number...what?" Garret replied, still in a stupor.

"You know. 'Practice self-abuse'."

"Oh, right." Keeping his hand on his crotch, he turned in his chair and looked up at his sister. He studied her for a bit, briefly forgetting about the video and just focusing on her form in front of him. "No, not yet," he said, removing his hand and standing up out of the chair.

"Really?" Autumn asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah."

"Why not?"

Garrett shrugged. "Hard to explain. Just...not yet." It was, in fact, hard for him to explain, even to himself. He was sufficiently horny, that much was for sure. Not having an orgasm for a year, and then seeing a sexy video of someone you loved will do that to a guy. But a part of him still felt weird about getting off on the memory of her, like somehow it cheapened her existence down to just some kind of eye candy or something. He was certain that one day he would return to the video, but at that moment in time he just wasn't ready to go there.

"I know it was short, and I really didn't show you all the goods like I had intended, but-"

"The video was perfect, Autumn. I would have appreciated it so much. I do appreciate, I mean. I'm just not ready..."

She nodded. "I get it. I wish I hadn't tried to wait for your stupid birthday, though, and given it to you sooner."

"Well, it's not like you could have predicted you'd get hit by a train before you could do that. Besides, I probably would have just straight up raped you if you had shown me that," Garrett replied. "I mean, not really, of course, but I would have certainly thought about it."

"I probably would have consented to a raping," Autumn replied.

"What a weird thing to say."

"Yeah." Autumn looked around the room. "I think we can be done in here for now, if you want."

"You gonna let me check that one off the list?"

She nodded. "I'll allow it. Technically you're not finished, but you made a lot of progress in here nonetheless. Let's mark it complete."

They left the room together, Garrett closing the door behind himself, and returned to the kitchen.

"So what now?" he asked as he looked down at the list.

"You tell me."

Garrett scanned the four remaining items, not sure what to do. "Does this day feel like it is going on forever?" he asked, looking out the window. "It still seems like it's morning outside, but it feels like way more time has passed than that."

Autumn shrugged. "I'm not the best one to ask about how much time has passed," she replied. "Like I said, I perceive things a little differently now."

"Maybe I'm perceiving time like you do now. Hell, maybe I'm dead after all. Wouldn't that be cool? Just the two of us, ghosting around for eternity."

"You're not dead. Trust me."

"Would you seriously tell me if I were?"

"What would I have to gain by not telling you?"

Garrett paused. "Fair point," he said.

"If you were dead, you wouldn't have to question it. You'd just know. Things are just...different."

"Again with the vagueness."

Autumn sighed in frustration. "There are no words to describe what I feel, what I see, what I am. You just have to experience it. I know you wanna know what it's like, but I just can't explain. Sorry."

Garrett nodded. "I understand. I mean...I don't understand. I understand that I don't understand?"

"I understand what you mean," Autumn confirmed.

"Anyway," Garrett continued, "back to the task at hand." He looked once more at the list. "So we've already determined that diddling myself is not gonna happen for now. Heck, if seeing a video of you three-quarters of the way naked doesn't make it happen for me, I'm not sure what will. And I'm not in a sit down and watch television kind of mood, so Sopranos is out for now, too."

"So that leaves running and music," Autumn said.

Garrett slumped his shoulders and sighed. "I guess I'll do the jog," he said indifferently. "Like you said, I often would get ideas for tunes when I ran, so I guess logically it makes the most sense if I do that first."

"That's the ticket!" Autumn chirped excitedly as she stood up from her seat. "Let's go!"

"Whoa," Garrett replied quickly. "Slow down there. I can't just get up and run."

"You can't?"

"No! I have to, like, mentally prepare myself first."

"Okay...? And what does that look like?"

Garrett held up his finger to Autumn and shushed her, then began staring at the wall intently. Autumn tapped her foot and waited as her brother sat and did nothing at all for almost a full five minutes. "Alright, I think I'm ready now," he said, standing up slowly out of his seat.

"You know, most people just stretch before they run."

"Yeah, well I haven't done anything remotely physical for a year now, so I needed the extra mental boost to get started."

They walked out the backdoor, passing the lemon tree on the way.

"Is it just my imagination, or does that thing already look a little better?" Garrett asked, noticing the beginnings of a couple of little green leaves already.

"It's amazing what a little sunshine and sustenance can do for a living thing, huh?" Autumn replied with a meaningful tone.

"I suppose." He looked over at Autumn, who stood right beside him.

"Ready?" she asked.

"I can still smell you."

"What?"

"Your scent...it's all over you all of a sudden."

She looked herself over. "You sure? Maybe it just attached itself to you when you were shoving my old clothes into your face."

"Maybe," he said slowly, pushing his nose out so that it was close to her body. "I really think it's you, though."

"Seems unlikely, but I'll go with it, I guess."

Starting at a very slow pace, they began their jog together. After cutting through the backyard, they ended up running for just a couple hundred yards on the sidewalk that went through the little neighborhood. They crossed an empty street and went onto a trail that snaked through the small patch of woods that lay adjacent to their neighborhood. It was one that Garrett had frequented back when his life was worth living.

"Ugh, this sucks!" Garrett complained loudly through his labored breathing.

"Come on, Garrett. Push through the pain!" Autumn cheered.

"You don't even sound like you're out of breath!" he whined. "No fair!"

"Maybe I'm just in better shape than you."

"Or maybe you're dead and don't have lungs, muscles, and a heart anymore."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's the thing I said."

"I might just die from this, you know."

"Ha! Wouldn't that be ironic? You die from the process of me trying to save your life. I guess a year of inactivity can do that to a person, huh?"

Garrett grunted a half-assed, inaudible reply. After about another half mile or so, without warning, he veered off the path. "Where are you going?" Autumn asked, following him into the thick forest.

"There's a spot just through these trees that I used to stop at and chill sometimes," he said, slowing down to navigate the woods. "A little clearing of sorts." They tromped through the trees for another minute or so before reaching the spot that Garrett was referring to.

"Oh, this is nice," Autumn said, looking around at the small patch of land. The grass was moderately tall, but other than that there seemed to be no vegetation of any kind in the little area.

"Yeah, I used to come here about once a week and just lay in the grass, staring up at the sky and losing myself in my thoughts."

"I didn't know you did that. How come you never brought me here?"

Garrett shrugged. "I guess I just never thought to. I suppose maybe I just thought of it as my own little secret sanctuary."

"I get that. But I'm glad you've brought me now, at least."

They sat in the grass across from one another, their feet mere inches apart. Garrett took a moment to look his sister over, focusing for the first time on what she was wearing. Aside from her white tennis shoes and white socks, she simply wore a short pair of purple cotton shorts and a black t-shirt that slightly hugged her form. He tried to remember when he had ever seen her wear this outfit before, but couldn't recall a time. Was that what she had been wearing the night she died? He honestly didn't remember.

"Hey Autumn?" he said after some time had passed.

"Yeah?"

"Don't get mad at me here. I know you've already made this perfectly clear, but...I still don't understand what the hell is going on."

"How so?"

"Like, are you a figment of my imagination? Am I making this all up in my head as we go?"

Autumn shrugged. "Like I said, I don't know. If I knew, I'd explain it to you."

"Yeah, I hear you. It's just frustrating not knowing."

"I get it. But I will say that I don't feel like a figment of your imagination. From my perspective, I'm perfectly in control of my own thoughts and actions. Not sure if that means anything to you or not, but there you go."

"It does," Garrett said with a nod. He looked at the scenery around him for a bit, putting off his next question for as long as he could stand it. Then, after gathering the nerve, he turned back to his sister. "Can I ask you something else?" he said.

"Of course."

"Do you remember the night it happened?"

Autumn paused and thought for a bit. "More or less," she said eventually.

"The cop told me that you were trying to beat the train. He said the crossing arms were down, but you went ahead and tried to cross anyway. Is that really how it happened?"

Autumn nodded. "Pretty much," she said simply. "I really thought I had time. They were lowering just as I came to the tracks. I remember barely slowing down a little, then...well, that's where it gets a little fuzzy."

"I can imagine."

"Obviously, I wish I hadn't been in such a hurry."

"That part is on me, I think."

Autumn looked at him with confusion on her face. "How do you figure?"

"I told you to hurry back," he said, closing his eyes tight as he responded.

"You did?"

"I literally said 'hurry back'."

He heard the grass rustle just to his right. He opened his eyes to see that Autumn had moved herself over to sit beside him. "I promise you that those words had nothing to do with my decision," she said softly. "Don't put that on yourself. I made a stupid, careless mistake, and that's completely on me. I don't even remember you saying that."

"Okay," he said unconvincingly.

"Seriously, Garrett," she said, raising her voice slightly. "Not your fault. Got it?"

He paused, then nodded. "I understand, Autumn."

"Whatever guilt you feel about that, throw it out."

"What about the other thing I said?"

"What other thing?"

"As you were leaving. Do you remember?"

She sighed. "I do remember, and I also know you were joking. We just had banter like that, always did. It didn't bother me in the slightest."

"I can't believe that's the last thing I said to you, though. Literally the worst thing you can call a girl, and it was the last word I directed at you."

"Don't think so hard on it, Garrett. How many times had I called you a dick before that? Like, a thousand?"

"Even still-"

"Let it go, Garrett. We had a million great memories together. So what if the last one wasn't perfect? It was just one moment in time, and it's the farthest thing from what I remember about us. Just...let it go."

She scooted even closer to him so that their shoulders were just a couple inches apart. "That's weird," he said suddenly, looking her over once more.

"What is?"

"I can feel warmth coming off your body."

Autumn looked at him in disbelief. "You sure? You probably just feel the heat radiating off of yourself after exercising in the hot sun."

Garrett shook his head. "It's you," he said, taking the palm of his hand and putting it very close to her bare arm. "You have warmth. Don't you feel it?"

Autumn assessed herself briefly. "I don't know, maybe?" she replied. "Or maybe my mind is playing tricks on me."

"Maybe," Garrett replied, his thoughts trailing off in a different direction.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Autumn asked after a few minutes of silence.

"How amazing your boobs looked in that video," Garrett replied bluntly.

"Sheesh, that's a sudden change of topic!"

Garrett shrugged. "You asked," he said. "I mean, don't get me wrong, Autumn. I definitely miss you for all the right reasons. But sometimes...god, sometimes I just simply miss your body. Sometimes I wish you were here just so I can play with your tits. And suck on them. And push my face into them. And-"

"Message received, Garrett," she replied with a chuckle. "You really liked them then?"

"Hell yeah I did! They were...perfect! No, they transcended perfection. They were other worldly!"

"Other worldly? Really Garrett?"

"Oh, right...sorry."

Autumn laughed. "It's fine," she said. "No pun intended, I'm sure. Either way, I'm glad you got to see them, even if it was just through a recording. I wish I had another opportunity to let you enjoy them again."

He looked sideways at her, scanning her body up and down. "Theoretically, couldn't you just show them to me now?" he asked with trepidation.

"Now?"

"I don't know...could you? Or is it more a situation that underneath your clothes is just some sort of dark, empty abyss?"

"Hmm," Autumn replied, deep in thought. "I guess there's one way to find out." She stood up and moved so that she was directly across from him once more before sitting back down in the grass. "You sure no one's gonna come wandering back here at any second?" she asked nervously.

Garrett laughed. "Wouldn't they just see a lonely guy sitting by himself in the grass if they did?"

"Oh yeah, good point," she said with a smile as she grabbed the bottom of her shirt. Before pulling the shirt up, she wiggled her torso back and forth in an odd manner.

"What are you doing, Autumn?"

"Just seeing if I'm wearing a bra."

"You don't know?"

"I mean, I just never had any reason to give it any thought." She brought one of her hands up to her chest and felt around. "Okay, no bra," she said matter-of-factly. She grabbed hold of the bottom of her shirt with both hands once more before looking over at Garrett. "You ready for this?"

"Oh yeah."

Slowly, little by little, she began raising her shirt up.

"Well, you have a belly button," Garrett said as it came into view, "so there's a good sign, I suppose."

Autumn smiled, then continued pulling the shirt up until it was bunched up under her breasts. "I believe they call what I'm about to do a 'tit drop'."

"I call it heaven on earth," he replied. He watched hungrily as Autumn pulled on the bottom of her shirt, causing her tits to lift ever so slightly as she did.

"Ready?" she asked, pulling the shirt up as high as her boobs would allow her.

"I've been ready for years, Autumn."

She smiled and winked at him, and then in an instant pulled her shirt up all the way to her neck, allowing gravity to take over once again. Her tits dropped beautifully back into place, bouncing a couple of times in the process.

"Fuuuuuccccckk," Garrett moaned as he gaped in awe at his sister's gorgeous breasts. She left them exposed for a few moments, shaking them back and forth playfully a couple of times before pushing her shirt back down into place.

"Did that do it for you?" she asked with a coy smile.

Wordlessly, Garrett pulled aside the loose material of his athletic shorts and fished out his very erect cock.

"I guess that's a yes, then," Autumn said with wide eyes, staring at her brother's penis. "So...you thinkin' about marking off number five on the list, then?"

"Maybe," Garrett began, his voice trailing off as he stared at his sister. "You don't think...could you..."

"You want me to do it again?" she asked, finishing his thought for him.

Garrett gripped his cock tighter. "Actually, I kinda had something else in mind," he said, making a point of looking straight in between her legs.

"Ah, I see," she said, seeing where his eyes had landed. "You wanna get a glimpse at your little sister's pussy."

"Shiiiit, Autumn," Garrett replied, slowly stroking his dick as he stared.

She thought about it for a moment. "I guess I can acquiesce," she said, adjusting her position so that her legs were spread out as far as they could go. She reached down between her legs and hooked her fingers into her little shorts, slowly pulling them aside. Garrett felt a pool of saliva forming in his mouth as he watched his sister pull the material of her shorts to the side just for him.

In an instant, his sister's beautiful pink pussy came into view, only partially obscured by the straining fabric of her shorts. Garrett pumped his cock harder as he stared, his eyes moving rapidly between Autumn's face and her vagina.

"Wow, you're actually doing it," she said softly as she watched him work himself, keeping her pussy in plain view the whole while.

"This is so hot," Garrett moaned, unable to believe just how lucky he was to be able to experience this moment. Then, suddenly, something inside him made him stop, and he carefully tucked himself away once more.

"You alright?" Autumn asked with concern in her voice, letting go of her shorts and covering herself once more.

"Yeah," Garrett replied simply, his thoughts whirring around rapidly in a completely different direction.

"What is it, Garrett?"

"I don't know...let's jog home real quick though. That okay?"

"Of course." They left the clearing and made their way through the woods again. They wordlessly jogged the whole way back to the house, this time with less strain somehow on Garrett's body. As soon as they entered through the back door, Garrett headed straight over to his keyboard and sat down in front of it.

"Oh! You came up with tune!" Autumn exclaimed. "I didn't know what was happening. I thought maybe you-"

Garrett held up a finger to her as he stared at the keys in front of him. He turned on the keyboard, placed his hands on the home keys, and closed his eyes. Without thinking too much, he let his hands move around, striking notes seemingly of their own will. His foot moved in time with his melody, as it always naturally did. With no effort whatsoever, the song picked up steam, and before he knew it, he was completely lost in it. The tune flooded his whole being. He wasn't writing a song at this point, just simply transcribing it as it happened. Moments later, just as quickly as it started, it came to an end.