All Comments on 'Troglodyte'

Jesus - what an utter mess. Characters, names, points-of-view all jumbled up.

The saddest thing is that no amount of editing could save it.

Hilarious!

The poor spelling and diction make this story virtually unintelligible. Yuk.

I enjoyed this story but it has a lot of mistakes so I can't give it a 5 . 4 stars from Xluckylee

Too schizophrenic to make sense out of it, sorry.

Far too ambitious. If your intent was to use as many tropes as possible, that takes planning so they work in a story. This just felt like you threw them in as you thought of them with no rhyme or reason.

The use of the original for a sex scene or for the MC to be an author on Literotica? They could have been left out completely and had zero effect on the overall story.

Your MC outright stating how great a writer he is, in a story this disjointed, did you no favors either. It's like someone saying how great an artist they are and showing you their stick figure drawings.

Next time you sit down to write, finish the story and let it sit for a bit. Coming back to it with fresh eyes and a clearer head, you may pick up on things that might not work in it.

Damn dude! ALL kinds of fucked up. I quit on page 4. Sorry

Badly needs editing.

Remember the songs !

Totally confusing in parts,badly needs rewriting.

Totally confusing in parts,needs rewriting badly.

Celestron CGX-L 1400 Edged HD 14" Aplanatic SCT on CGXL Computerized GoTo Equatorial Mount lol wooo thats a long ass name for a mount lol

wow that was a mess. the biggest for me was all the words left out of sentences could have made another story lol

Well I see a lot of comments in the negative but I found it funny and figured it was meant to be the way it is written. No it is not perfect but did you pay for perfect grammar. The story was readable and I liked the characters. The plot and time line are a little crazy but it got me a laugh and most importantly I was entertained. The one comment below about stopping at page 4 is ridiculous for a stop of a 5 page story!! I see over 100 comments so the story did hit a good nerve - so well done!!

Please do keep writing and I will keep reading.

The many, many, MANY errors became way too distracting in what could have otherwise been a decent story.

Well that was quite a story. I noticed a few errors, but since I can barely read anyway, I didn’t pay them much attention. You managed to work most every lame LW cheating trope except bi male and Lesbian. You even managed to skillfully work a very stereotypical big black clown and impregnated white woman into your narrative. It was a little choppy and sometimes didn’t flow well, but I enjoyed the heck out of it.

Sure a lot of words to a frame your new idea to catch a cheater! That idea could have been a 750’er.

Nevertheless, you fleshed it out well. It would have benefited from another round or two of editing for clarity and consistency, but it was a fun strontium nonetheless.