All Comments on 'True Love'

Long winded drivel, didn't finish the first page. Comes hand in hand with ANYTHING the organiser of this 'event' has a hand in.

The writing was ok but the characters were horrible.

So horrible in fact that I could not have cared less how things turned out in the story.

The only real issue with this story is that it's in the wrong category. Sure, you want readers, but this isn't the Loving Wives trope, more the Romance section.

This was awful. The MC was pathetic, and depressing.

Very well written story, even if it wasn't my type of ending, it was very well put together. Worth 5 stars although the ending was sad.

Well written and intense. Not particularly enjoyable but that is not really the objective, is it?

Couldn't read past page 3 ! Please Quit writing !

This is an amazing story, It has so much more depth and character development than 99% of the stories in LW. I don't know how Steve thinks up these situations and characters. 5 stars from me.

Good story. I feel sad for Ralph. I like to read a sequel that tells what happened to Ralph afterward.

Like a weird fever dream

Wtf was this shit

No characters to like or admire, and durn little love as far as I could see. Honestly, I thought the plot, if it can be called that, was rather silly; very much like a story written by a woman for young teen girls. And you're still writing nothing but wimpy befuddled men in your stories. You and Cagi must get along great.

I liked the story, well crafted, the ending for me didn't fit. All that drama and suddenly nothing.

Probably the weirdest psychological mess I have ever read... chaotic...illogical... interesting...but the story trail is broken that I as a reader find myself unable to suspend disbelief and start trying to insert my common sense because nothing in this tale flows... Way too many deux ex machina off state entrances to fix plot holes...and little if any real explication that would provide the necessary logical foundation for all the twists and deux ex machina entrances.

Still good authorship even if it doesn't flow well logically...

4 stars

I liked it, but it was kind of surreal.

Why would any of them stay friends with Ralph after they found out he was physically abusing Dani? Hitting your wife is one of the fastest ways to turn yourself into a pariah.

I'm glad she left the psycho in the end.

Superb outlining of characters. Efficient depiction of group dynamics. Great story from a skilled writer.

Interesting story but I seriously doubt a man like Ralph is just going to fade away. Someone is going to get seriously hurt, killed, or Ralph is going to be in prison. Zero chance he just walks away.

The difficult done incredibly well.

Hooked

strange story where a brain is shared between 3 protagonists.

I don't understand why Andy didn't ask Maria what the fuck was going on, because she obviously thought that he knew, but he didn't have a clue.

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Dani's friends have to say that if she won't leave Ralph, they're all going to leave because they can't stand to watch them any more, and don't want to be there when the ultimate happens.

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"I have to take care of the man I love." - The man she loves: Andy.

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"On my way." - I wouldn't have gone over without getting Maria to go with me.

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"I need to go home now." - Okay, but don't come back, don't call, don't text, don't email, don't write.

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"We are cheaters now, aren't we? I'm still married, technically." - Yes, but Ralph wasn't right, they weren't cheating when he was accusing them of cheating.

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I think Andy's too hard on himself. He didn't know that his feelings for Dani were that obvious. Maybe if someone like Maria who was always busting his chops had actually TALKED to him, instead of throwing vague accusations at him!

Very well written story . In fact, exceptional

This story is so disturbing. it really make you worry about the author, as though he thinks, Ralph never should have been accountable. there was no "True Love" in this story, other than people love burying their head in the sand, while a good looking MONSTER beats an attractive girl. anyone that doesn't feel sick while, and after reading this is loser. ....wife beating, no police ever called...no accountability for the violent felon.

I’m constantly amazed at the quality of a lot of stories appearing on this web site.

I came for the porn, but got hooked on the incredible writing.

Not the ending I expected. Disappointed that you couldn't find another way, He according to the story wasn't really a bad guy.

Well done scenario. I don't see Ralph as being the type of man to let things go so the typical cliche applies - "watch your back, Jack". In that, the story seem unfinished. In other ways, it was complete.

Complicated, well developed characters. Easily the most interesting thing I've read here for a while. Underscored, but that should embarrass the audience. And to think English is the author's second language...I am impressed.

5*

This story sadly hits home. Replace the phyjsical violence with emotional abuse and it's remarkably similar to the situation someone very close to me finds herself dealing with. Only difference is, the Ralph in her story just. won't. go. away.

Interesting story!

5

This was like Fight Club, but the main character is an impossible to respect moron…. Sorry, I just couldn’t find anything remotely redeeming in this story…which is shocking with how much I normally enjoy your gifts.

Very strange

well done

Didn't make sense to me.

1. Building up a character to be ruthless and then having him just give up

2. A guy hates somebody, but saves their life multiple times just to keep the enemy closer

3. Passive main character getting the girl and achieving success without any goals or effort

Emotionally - very deep and beautiful story.

Logically - not so much.

Ralph seems a bit like Harlen Coben's Win, without the sense of humor or other redeeming qualities.

The worst thing about this story is the number of people who actually think this is well written.

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Even S Brooks can't figure out what the fuck this about

It's really pathetic and laughable how HDK Thinks this is a good/ great story

Probably the most in-depth dive into characters I have seen. Again, one of the best. Five stars, Randi.

Very strange story. Not sure that the ending was really the ending.

That was fucking confusing. And the thing that made it so confusing was that it was to.d from tne POV of Andy, and it tne first couple pages, you made Andy seem like a super wimp that didn’t have a clue. THAT made the eventual “real story” that got revealed very hard to accept and enjoy.

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2 **

Mental health extravaganza. Way over my head. They were all so fucked up it's not possible to pick the winner.

I really liked it.

What others might think it "strange" or "story trail is broken"...I thought the opposite. I felt it came together nicely.

The beginning of the story starts with us not knowing where it was leading...and as the story grew it became more and more clear what was happening with Dani...and Andy.

I agree in that I think it's exceptional.

Too bad that...here...not all will appreciate the way the story was told. Thank you.

Poor Ralph. Nothing but a narcissistic, paranoid bully.

Another 5* story from Stev2244.

GOOD story; excellent characterization.

I've been that 5th wheel before, it's no fun. This is an excellent story, well crafted, and told. 5 stars, easily.

Very well written complexities with the characters

I wonder are Ralph and Andy the same person but with different personalities ?

Genius! Awesome story.

A long and boring story about a useless simp and a psychopath who flipflops between being one of the most dangerous human beings on the planet, to just some dude with anger issues. There isn't a single bit of consistency in this whole thing and that makes it a chore to read.

This is hands down, one of the most asinine, idiotic stories I've ever had the misfortune of reading.

Nice love story. I actually expected a more violent ending to it. I'm glad there was no blood bath. Thanks for the story.

An enjoyable story without a doubt but less so than it could have been.

The fact that over and over again nobody clues the clueless in on something most of us could see coming from a mile away.

There were too many instances where things just popped up out of nowhere. Especially people.

One major sticking point was when Dani said that maybe Ralph set up the 4 guys so he could "save" Andy. Thats predicated on the thought that Ralph paid 4 guys to stand around and wait and follow Andy of he by chance went out on his own that night. Really kind of out there on that one.

And the end, Ralph wouldnt have just disappeared and "never" be seen again.

Almost a gay love story

Never have I seen a story start so well- interesting, humorous, entertaining, writing talent quite obvious; and then just drive off the cliff. It turned into Alice in Wonderland, modern day version of. So, Ralphie is a sociopath, maybe a psychopath, loves to hurt people, exhibits murderous tendencies while declaring he WILL kill somebody, and has already committed physical violence with his lovely wife. The reaction of Andy and Dani?? Que sera', sera'..... whatEVer. Are they worried in the slightest? Nope- not our heroes. I can imagine them in bed with the following conversation- "Andy, he'll probably kill us in the morning, if not I think I'll pop over to the store and pick up some bacon and eggs. Maybe I'll wear that pink blouse you love so much."

Andy, "Well, I hope you don't get any blood on it. It does look nice on you."

Dani, "And if by any chance YOU survive the night, perhaps we could run by Ralph's place and pick up some of my things. Should we take your handgun?" (giving her undeserved credit for thinking of personal protection)

Andy, " Are you kidding? With the price of ammunition these days?"

Meanwhile, outside and below their window, Ralph is chuckling to himself- 'these 2 twits deserve each other, think letting them live would be the biggest punishment...."

Kind of like Tennessee Williams, . . . but without the imagination or talent. What was the point? Are these people in high school? The head cheerleader decides to dump the quarterback and start fucking the editor of the school yearbook? Inane and faux drama. Ralph's my best friend, Ralph is a Rock Star, Ralph's a killer, Ralph is a fucking Shaolin Priest, Ralph is a wife beater, Ralph is a stupid clumsy putz, Ralph shits his pants. Whatever. Like Ralph, I'm just glad its over. Thanks for the effort.

Maria was the prop that told us something was off. Great story. Self esteem and confidence come after puberty but that doesn't mean we're not scared of rejection at any age. Even Ralphie!

Not a single character acts reasonable here. Maybe it could have worked with one or at maximum two "crazies". In any combination of the three. But they all including the weird second couple behave like in an illogical dream at one point or another.

Amazing story....

The story is very real...

5 well earned stars

Cagivagurl

Harryin VA, why do you show them how it's done. Let's see your list of great stories.

Strange story. Rather than "true love" it seems to just have been about some very strange neurotic people. All 3 of the main characters were deeply flawed.

Difficult but very realistic tale to put together, it seems a little too intellectual for some looking at the comments. Well done from me anyway and thank you.

All Dani’s friends were aware of her being abused by her husband but did nothing, surely one of them at least should have had the guts to report the matter to the police.

A very well told story that sadly reflects what misunderstood friendship can be. Destructive and humiliating!

Divided opinions on this one, eh? By and large, the writers (e.g., Laptop, Hooked, Randi, HDK) gave it props. Commentators (e.g., Harry, Servant) not so much. As for QuickMagazine, I think I built expectations up too high, and thus felt a bit letdown. Same thing happened with Hooked's story. So this got a 4 instead of the usual Stev5. Four is still good, though, and it's worth noting that "True Love" shares some DNA with "The Karma Credit Plan."

It just feels disingenuous to me that our hero would be that clueless about what was happening or the impact that it was having on his friends. You specialize in writing people who are unable to communicate effectively leading to very bad outcomes. And sleeping with a woman who has been abused and who is married to a sociopath is not only unethical but also bad for one’s health…

Too cerebral, to the point the story lost its soul. 4*

Much too deep for this fellow's Wellies, apparently too thick to comprehend the subtleties. But then I can't chew chuddy whilst walking about.

Solo almost all these characters are bad sorts?

A guy that sounds paranoid shizopnrenic, a abused person that is confused at best, friends that did nothing to help someone being abused and the guy t.hat knows about the husband best by mental and also does nothing not even warning the wife and friends or even gasp getting him help.

Another Anon wrote: “Long winded drivel, didn't finish the first page. Comes hand in hand with ANYTHING the organiser of this 'event' has a hand in.“ Which led me to wonder why someone with that insight chose to read ANY of the stories. But to have read this story and then to offer such a “criticism” is ludicrous. I used to read a lot of sci-fi when I was younger, but then lost interest over time. That never led me to criticize sci-fi authors or readers…I simply stopped reading sci-fi. I came to like this particular story far less than the others in this offering, but it was still pretty good (IMO)…well-written and fairly interesting, but with characters who seemed to lack self-awareness and had little attraction for me. But then Iverson, Q, Randi…what fun!

Great storytelling and writing no matter how painful for some readers. You have a great deal of talent.

eh i didnt like it, the characters felt like they just got out of high school. i was waiting to see if andy slipped on a banana peel and bust his head open on the sidewalk

What a sad situation, where no one steps up to do what's needed to help Ralph or Dani or Andy either, for that matter, as if they have blinders on. The situation gets worse and worse and I felt sorry for them all. It turned out for the best...well, except for Ralph who didn't get the help he needed that might have solved most of the issues before they ever got to that point.

Probably one of the more complex stories I have read on here,at times it was almost like being in a dream sequence. It is like everyone knew they were in a play but couldn't figure out the plot. The characters are living in denial, this fantasy was created and they jumped to act it out.

Otherwise why didn't they act when it is obvious Ralph is an abusive, mentally ill person? They aren't all there either.

I have this a five for the writing, it was that good. By the end I was kind of glad I was dine, the way it ends, where they carry on pretending Ralph never existed. There was a little sympathy for Ralph even,but this kind of reminded me of watching one of those movies by Wes Anderson.

There should be a category for stories that transcend the pigeon holes. I kept putting this story down and then picking it up. Slowly realized love, rage-filled jealousy, casual violence, misguided loyalty, painful duty, so many characters revealing themselves. I have not read anything better posted here. 5*

And Hiya, to Harry in VA, my favorite literary cockroach.

man that was anticlimactic. I kinda hoped you were working toward some plot twist that wasn't the MC was secretly in love with her the whole time.

The odd one out here maybe; but that was well written. Tough topic with puppy love and abuse and mental illness all rolled into one big adult quagmire. Thanks [I think]

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Hey Stev thank you for the entertaining story. Certainly didn't shy away from some hard topics. LOL. Always look forward seeing your work. Thanks again!

Killian

@Annie: "Let's see the results..."

Yeah, let's. The difference between you and the people who loved this story is, we actually write stories, and know how to write, recognize good writing when we see it. You don't write stories, just anonymous posts on the internet. These stories average score is 4.44, in the toughest category, score wise, on Literotica, where the average score is 3.37. Included among them are the fifth and 52nd highest scoring stories in the history of LW. That's a history of more than 20 years. 3.01 percent of stories here score 4.50, or higher. 60% of these stories are over 4.50. I can live with those results.

*****

As for Mr. Brooks, he is infinitely better than you, in every respect, simply by the virtue of the fact that he actually writes stories, and has the balls to sign his name to his comments. Maybe you needa grow a set. It's amazing to me: how can you have your head up your ass, your foot in your mouth and still be all up in our business, you fucking wizard? Randi.

Really enjoyed it, can't wait to read more of your brilliant work 💕

Enjoyable and expertly-written story of a slow-motion train wreck of a social group. This came across as very real, how all the friendship group can see a problem, but no one, not even Dani, Andy or Ralph *does* anything. Andy should have left town years ago. It all worked out in the end, but it easily could have not done so. Everyone thinks Ralph is a monster, but they're all basically content to enable his abuse of Dani, Andy included.

All too real, and a disspiriting reflection of the failings of a close-knit group. It was excellent both despite and because of this. Five stars.

I kept waiting for something to happen. I new a guy like Ralph but he wasn't violent he was one of those guys the women liked and most men liked. His wife divorced him so mine being already divorced married him. No big deal right! wrong I lost a bunch of friends I could no longer face because we had been members and friends for years. Then of course a short time later she took my two girls when I remarried a faithful and loving woman. I think the word is my ex was a a duplicitous bitch. cest la vie.

There are people like those in this story who live their lives with great drama. I try to avoid them.

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It was an interesting personal dynamic going there. Ralph was scary, then broken.

Very sophisticated plot, well-written. As to the abrupt ending, I don’t buy that Ralph is broken, just wounded. At some point down the line he’d be back to try something crazy to get back at the people who humiliated him. Still, a 5-star effort.

3 stars because it just dwindled into…nothing.

Wtf

Stev, you are on an entirely different plane than the rest of us, you have a way of peeling away the layers of emotion until we come to these raw, intense feelings that mark you characters every single time. Well done my friend. I felt I was reading from a notable Literary Review instead of Literotica.

Very engaging, well-written and "charactered" story. I did have trouble with the ending, in that the behavior and escalation that Ralph was exhibiting as a cruel alpha, didn't match his behavior at the end. I felt, beyond some outside influence, it would be more true to his character if he tried beating, killing or kidnapping as we approached the end of the story. Maybe an assault that was interrupted at a key moment by the arrival of the police, as an example, would feel more consistent. Thanks for the read!

Thank you for the story stev2244.

I can see all the work that you did with the characters and the various ideas thrusting the plot✍️💪. Impressive❗️

Unfortunately, not very entertaining 😒😴.

This felt awful! With a dreadful ending 😫.

Sorry...A lot of work...A poor result.

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You know what is entertaining 😂. Reading fascist blackrandl go off on another reader!!

She has a temper she usually doesn't show that obviously.

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AMerryman

Would you look at that randi, the story is slowly reflecting its true trend of average. How embarrassing after all that posturing

Interesting, dont quite know what to make of this. Moves along quickly, and I felt the uncomfortableness of Ralph at the end.

5 stars. Stev2244 gets straight to the heart of the narcissistic "Alpha", the insecurity and desperate need to be the best person with the best things surrounded by the best people, to be in control of everything and everyone, and the insecurity and lack of any real self confidence that drives the behavior. Ralph was a bully because he needed the ego boost from terrorizing people, but also because he was acutely aware of the lack of true character in himself and the lack of true goodwill around him, and when the facade slipped he tried to uphold it with threats, then force... But when that didn't work, the pathetic man underneath was exposed. That last party wasn't unrealistic or out of character, that WAS the real Ralph, the whole time. He just got into a situation where he couldn't fall back to the facade and couldn't bully anyone.

I do think it's great how the MC and Dani call themselves out for playing the victims their whole lives and ultimately tormenting Ralph, and I think this is an important thing to outline in these stories-any marriage where one of the partners is unsatisfied or not fully committed is not worth the effort and should be ended amicably. It's easy to read Ralph as some stoic sociopath, but I read him as an insecure overachiever that constantly needs to be proving himself to feel good about who he is, and can't trust a relationship he can't control... He IS the lonely, sad sack Andy thinks he is, and that's why he held him and Dani apart for so long, and why he crumbled without them where he needed them to be.

That being said, if you're my friend and you black your partner or spouse's eye, you're going to jail. Man or woman, loyal or cheater, There's NO Excuse for Abuse!

Damn! That was great!

Sorry to say, but this was not my idea of good prose.

Thanks Steve for a thought provoking story. It is different and different is always welcome.

Got_an_account : currently it is trending at 4.08 stars ... anything above 4 in Loving Wives is a very good story, this is the toughest grading category in my opinion. So you are incorrect when you say it is average.

Can we please not go after the people that are working to create well-written, FREE content? I get you might not like something someone wrote. Cool. But to attack authors, to tell them to kill themselves, to stop writing, that they are terrible human beings, all these things wear after a while and, speaking for myself, make me wonder why I bother.

Please note I am not saying to blow sunshine up my ass, if you don't like something I wrote please let me know. But put an account behind it and give me specific feedback as it pertains to my writing. I will consider every such piece of information. But telling me to go off myself because I took to long to get a part two out doesn't make me want to get it out sooner.

And while I am ranting, even though she doesn't need me to defend her, I will. Randi does a shit ton of work for this site and writers in general. I am not saying everyone has to kiss her ass, but everyone should at least recognize the time and effort she puts into making so people can get FREE quality entertainment. IF you don't like her fine, but don't shit on her. I happen to know she is a great person who does a lot of work for a lot of people and any ignorant comments you want to throw at her just make you sound like a petulant child.

The violence seemed out of place in this story, mostly because after it happened it seemed as if it never did. The characters reacted to Ralph's violent attacks as if he had just yelled at them. Authorities were never called, they were never afraid for their safety, everybody just accepted the situation...

It's a sufficiently jarring flaw to subtract 1pt from 5, IMO, so I think the current average is about right.

This appeared to be an attempt at composing a sort of cerebral, psychological thriller. The characters all came across being delusional or deluded, I can't figure out which. Somewhere around page two or three I suspected the story would end in a psychiatric ward with two psychiatrists/psychologists discussing Andy's paranoid schizophrenic delusions world. I also suspected that Andy and Ralph were _indeed_ Jekyll and Hyde.

This would make a perfectly successful avant-garde play in some off-off Broadway theater. One with sets designed with long, deep black shadows.

Still worth 4-plus stars!

How is the score an indicator for the quality of the story?? The truth is "tags" matter. More the what is written and not so much how. In this case it's the other way round. I guess because it's part of a contest and all its circle-jerkers upvoting themselves. Reminds me of those fart-smellers in south park. The craftsmanship is good, because the author is an experienced writer. No denying that. But what he wrote is useless waste and all the ridicule is deserved. But hey, be happy in your bubble, I guess. To each their own.

Very thought provoking, an unusual tale.

This was a good story, well written although the love between Dani and Andy was telegraphed early. That said, I think you really rushed the ending of this and left it hanging, unsatisfying in my opinion. Still 4 stars.