True Nature Ch. 12

"It must be so much pressure to always feel like you have to be the biggest, strongest, most masculine person in the room and then have to mentally fight with the fact that no one else even believes you are. That some relish putting you in your place for not being exactly how your expected to be." I continued, pitying my poor mate. His father really hadn't made it easy for him to accept himself and for that alone Cain deserved love and protection. "We will take care of each other, okay? When being the one in control becomes too much, you can rest in me. I promise and none of that could ever lessen you in my eyes." I answered, before pressing a kiss against his soft lips.

Cain's body relaxed against mine a little more, "You make me feel like I'm good enough... like I can actually do this and be happy," he murmured, sounding close to tears. "I can't believe I almost threw that away.."

"Shhh it's all okay now Alpha," I encouraged, pressing my forehead against his as I touched his cheek. "I'm never going to leave you either... I never could. That's why I didn't run away when I had the chance," I admitted, needing him to know that he would never have to be on his own again. I'd survived so much, I could be strong for him when he needed me to be.

Unfortunately, Cain's guilt over what he'd done by giving me back to Frank was eating him alive and I could tell he was barely taking in my words. I could hear how his wolf scolded and belittled him, despite how mine protested. I could hear very dark thoughts that had been told to him throughout his life and I could tell that he might never forgive himself. I couldn't have that. He did not deserve to always carry that with him, not if I could help him let it go.

I grabbed his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. "Ok, so... I'm a Prince, right? At least, that's what my moms say. And... even though we are mated, I technically have more power than you right now, since you're not part of my family's pack nor have we had an official mating ceremony, yet. So... if I punish you for deserting me before that changes, will you be able to make peace with yourself? Cain, my love, I don't want you to take all this pain and guilt into our relationship. I'm yours and you're mine and nothing can change that now. I forgive you. I want to move forward and to be happy with you... so if you need that from me in order to move forward, I will punish you. Officially or just in the bedroom. Whichever one you think will help."

"Both," Cain whispered, he eyes dropping down even though I still held his face.

I winced slightly. I didn't want to do anything to hurt, degrade or humiliate my mate so I had hoped he'd request to keep it in the bedroom.

I thought for a moment, trying to come up with a punishment I could stand.

"What if," I started hesitantly, a little terrified about what I was going to say to an alpha, despite knowing I was safe. "What if you let me tie you up and fuck you?" I whispered, feeling incredibly shy and vulnerable. I didn't exactly want my efforts at pleasuring him to feel like a punishment but I couldn't think of any other time I could get away with asking, due to the very explicit power imbalance of the act. I knew what a serious thing it was to ask for this. I was truly asking for an alpha's complete and total submission, to me, an omega. Some thought we were less than the ground itself and though I knew Cain didn't feel that way, my request, I mean punishment, was still significant.

"You'd want to?" He asked, flushing adorably when I met his eyes. "T-that kinda turns me on more than anything. It doesn't seem like a punishment," he admitted quietly.

"Well, what if the punishment part is... I can use anything I want to fuck you with," I started, worried that my cock was too small to actually penetrate him with. "And, oh! What if... you have to wear a cock cage while I fuck you, so you can't cum, I mean, you can, after, I couldn't leave you like that but... oh... Um... maybe you'd even have to wear it any time you leave the house... for the entire time I'm pregnant? One that's a bit on the obvious side so that people will notice?"

Cain chuckled softly, "You sound more like your staking your claim on me, than punishing," he murmured as he leaned in to muzzle my bond mark.

"I know," I sighed, he was too smart for me. "But I can't stand the idea of doing anything to injure or embarrass you. Can't this be good enough?"

"You really don't think I deserve worse?" He asked, seeming unsure.

I growled then, feeling a little irritated that he was still asking this when I was trying so hard to move forward. I liked my punishment. Sure it was a claim of ownership but... didn't I get to decide what justice was in this case? It's what I wanted.

"You know what I deserve?" I asked, feeling a little reckless, probably due to the hormones. "I deserve to be happy and to have a mate that will put aside their guilt to let me be happy. Cain, this is literally all I've ever wanted and I wasn't lying. I want a mate and a pup and a family and now I've got it. Let me enjoy it all. Please accept your punishment and drop the issue?" I phrased the last word as a question at the last minute, afraid I'd been a little to forward with my alpha.

"Yes, I accept," Cain answered instantly and I could feel through the bond that he felt bad for getting me worked up. "But," he started, sounding more firm, "You need to go to therapy. I know you're happy right now and maybe finally being together makes you feel strong and you are but you've gone through so much. You need someone to help you unpack all that so you can heal from it. I'll be with you in any way you need but I need to know that if I try to forgive myself, that you'll still get help. Don't bury everything just because you don't want to deal with it. It'll all catch up with you in other ways if you ignore all the abuse you suffered through."

"I think those are acceptable terms." I agreed, knowing my mate probably had a point. "I love you Cain. More than I can even express," I told him, kissing his forehead.

"I love you too Fae and I'll never leave you again," he promised, holding me tighter as he said the words.