Try and Love Again

Still feeling protective, Jerry sighed then said, "Okay. Just one more concern. I...I don't want to see you fall for the wrong guy."

"And you're saying Kirk is the wrong kind of guy?"

"Sweetie. He's...my age."

"He's 53?" Aimee asked with a look of shock on her face, remembering how Kirk had said he was 42.

"Okay. I don't know exactly how old he is, but he's...older than you. A lot older."

"I know he's older, but he's really nice. And I enjoy talking to him. Is there anything wrong with that?"

Jerry put his hands on his niece's shoulders, smiled, then told her, "No. There's nothing wrong with that."

Aimee smiled back then said, "Thank you, and for the record? Older or not, if he and I talk some more and if he...asks me out, I might say 'yes'."

Her uncle sighed then said, "I don't have to like it, but I promise I won't stick my nose in your business again."

Aimee laughed then told her uncle he shouldn't make promises he couldn't keep.

"Ouch!" Jerry said before admitting she was right.

"I'm gonna go touch up my mascara then get back to work. You should probably do that, too."

Knowing she meant 'get back to work' but trying to be funny, her uncle said, "I don't have any mascara, so I may have to borrow yours."

Aimee gave him a look then said, "Ha, ha. Very funny."

"It was kinda funny," her uncle tried telling her.

"Stick to running this place. You'd never make it as a comedian."

Aimee was inundated putting out fires until the second set ended. She wanted to touch base with Kirk and try and smooth things out but problems kept popping up one after the other to include a near fight between two wanna-be cowboys who'd had a few too many.

But Jerry found a moment to catch his new, hot act during a short break, and asked if they could talk.

"Yeah. Sure," Kirk told him as he sipped some water to cool his throat.

"Look. I uh, I was out of line about...my niece."

"It's your place, Jerry. If that's a line you don't want me to cross, then I'll honor that."

Jerry ran a hand through his thinning hair, sighed again, then said, "If it was up to me, that would be a 'red line in the sand'. But...it's not up to me, and well, I get the feeling Aimee really does like you."

Kirk did a little head shake then said, "What was that?"

"Just be nice to her, okay? Poor kid has gone through so much, and she may have kind of...I don't know, maybe a...rock-and-roll crush on you or something. If that even makes any sense, you know, considering she's 27 and you're what? About 50?"

Kirk winced then said, "I'm 42. But...thanks?"

"Sorry. Look. I'm terrible with ages, and when it comes to women, I won't even guess."

Kirk laughed then said, "Good idea because there's no winning either way."

"I know, right? If you guess too low they're mad. If you guess too high they're..."

Kirk's eyes moved and he started to stand up, indicating someone else was there.

"Aimee. Hi," Kirk said, a warm smile on his face.

"Hi," she said in a sweet kind of way.

"I uh, I'll talk to you later, Kirk. And I'll have a check for you after the show tonight."

"Oh, right. Yeah, can't forget about that!" he said, as he recalled the amount he'd be receiving.

"Hey, it'll cover the cost of dinner."

Jerry looked at his niece then said to Kirk, "For two."

As he walked away, Aimee asked Kirk what was going on.

"Just...clearing things up."

"He told you, didn't he?" Aimee asked, a look of embarrassment on her face.

"Told me?"

Kirk didn't want to have to admit that her uncle had 'dimed her out', so he played dumb.

"He didn't...you didn't talk about...me?" she asked.

Jerry's head popped back in just long enough to say, "One minute warning!"

"I should grab my guitar," Kirk told her, happy not to have to get into it.

"Right."

The way Aimee smiled at him told him everything he needed to know. Jerry was right. Well, she may not be crushing on him, but it was clear that she was at least interested in him. It might be nothing more than a shared love of music, but something told him it might be a little deeper than that.

Aimee started to leave when Kirk called her name.

"Yes?" she responded, turning around and smiling again.

"I uh, I was wondering if we might...if you'd like to...do you want to get another drink or something after?"

The smile got even bigger as she said, "I'd like that!"

"Yeah? Okay then. I'll look you up when I finish."

She went to leave again when Kirk said, "Don't forget about the song I mentioned."

She turned back around, tilted her head a bit then said, "Song. You mentioned a song?"

Had she not smiled Kirk might have believed she'd forgotten.

"I did. A song that makes me think of you now."

"K," Aimee said very sweetly as the curtain opened just as Kirk was picking up his guitar.

Her string of problems slowed down, but Aimee was still quite busy during the final set. But she wasn't too busy to take note when Kirk finally mentioned he was getting ready to sing the last song of the night; a song he was dedicating to someone he'd recently met and had made quite an impression on him.

"The spelling isn't the same, but the name is the same nevertheless, so...Aimee...this is for you."

Aimee's heart was pounding in her chest when she heard her name. It beat even faster once Kirk began singing. She heard every word, but none of them registered except for the chorus:

"Amie, what you want to do? I think I could stay with you, for a while, maybe longer if I do."

It was one of those songs she'd heard before, mostly because of her name, but one she'd never paid attention to. She had no idea what the song was about other than some guy who liked a girl named Amie and who wanted to stay with her. At least for a while or maybe longer.

What also struck her was how romantic she found this. For her, romance had always seemed so complicated and...unnecessary. She'd always assumed it was much ado about nothing without ever realizing the lack of romance was due to the kind of men to whom she was attracted. Now, for the first time, she wondered if romance, and even love, was a lot simpler and easier to understand than she'd led herself to believe.

Maybe it really was boy meets girl, boy treats her nice and makes her feel special, and they fall in love. But without the danger she'd always craved how could it possibly be any fun? If there wasn't anything to make her heart race how would she know it was even love?

But what really hit her hard was the way her heart was beating, and in a way, answering her own question. A question, which if answered, only raised another one. How could a man that much older than her possibly be right for her no matter how he made her feel?

The adrenaline mixed with the endorphins or whatever chemicals her brain was dumping into her body made her feel out of control once they were mixed in with the confusion her follow-on question brought.

She saw Kirk waving to the crowd and thanking them as they cheered wildly, but it as though she were an observer from another world seeing and hearing but not actually there. At least until her Uncle Jerry nudged her back to reality.

"I think someone may be sweet on my niece," he said loudly enough for Aimee to hear but not so loud anyone else might.

"What?" she said as she turned his way. "No. It's not...he doesn't. It was just a coincidence. You know, same name, fun song. That's all."

Jerry put a hand on her shoulder and said, "Okay. Keep telling yourself that. But just because I promised not to meddle, that doesn't mean I'm still not concerned. So...be careful, okay, hon?"

"Oh. Sure," Aimee said as she turned back to find Kirk who was on his way toward her.

Jerry shook his hand, congratulated him, then reminded him about the money.

Kirk laughed and told him to just open a bar tab for him, and Jerry shot a 'finger gun' at him to indicate he would.

"So?" Kirk asked as Aimee looked up at him aware that it hadn't gotten much quieter.

"I...that was...really amazing."

He smiled then said in a way that made her tremble, "Well, I think you're amazing."

The emotional knot inside her twisted itself even harder, and just as she got ready to speak, someone called to get her attention.

"Be right there!" she told the man who wanted another drink.

"Sorry," she then said to Kirk who told her he understood.

"Is it okay if I wait for you? In your office?"

"Oh. Yes. That's...that's fine," she told him as the man said, "still need a drink over here!"

Aimee nervously turned around to find someone to take care of the man's request, and as childish as it seemed, to get away from Kirk so she could think.

While Aimee did her thinking, Kirk was doing some of his own as he sat down in her office and looked around. He knew Judd rarely went to bed before 1am, so he took a chance and gave his brother a call.

"Good morning," his brother said as he answered the call. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Things are actually pretty great."

Judd laughed then said, "What's her name?"

Kirk chuckled then told him.

"Aimee. Like the song," Judd offered.

"Almost. My Aimee spells her name differently, but other than that, yes."

"Your Aimee. Is this serious?"

"No. Not at all. It's just that she's made me think I... No. She's made me believe I really can try and love again."

"You're not saying she's the one. You're saying she's like...a muse?"

"Maybe. She does inspire me, so I suppose 'muse' fits."

"Is she the sole source of your newfound happiness?"

"No. Just a big part of it."

"What else is going on?" Judd asked.

"The music. I just finished my second night and I gotta tell you, this just...feels right."

"Then I'm happy for you."

"Yeah. Thanks. Me, too."

Kirk thought for a second then asked how things were with Judd and work.

"Same old thing every day," his big brother replied.

"I could use a drummer."

Judd laughed before saying, "Don't tempt me."

"Just a thought."

"If I didn't have kids to put through college..."

The door to the office opened before Judd could finish his thought as Kirk said, "Speaking of Aimee, I'm in her office, and she just walked in."

"Got it. I'll let you go. But thanks for calling. I've been a little worried about you."

"Nothing to worry about. Things are goin'..."

Kirk looked at Aimee, smiled, then said, "Great."

"Well then. Have fun," Judd said with a chuckle before his brother said goodnight.

"Little late for a phone call isn't it?" Aimee asked as she sat down at her desk.

"My brother. Judd."

"Older or younger?"

"Older. By almost three years. I told him I could use a drummer."

"I take it he plays?"

"Not since we played together back in..."

Kirk shook his head in disbelief before saying, "1980."

"Oh, right. Great year as I recall. Second grade was...amazing," Aimee told him as she tried not to smile.

Kirk smiled and he laughed.

"I'd be interested in knowing who's hair was longer back then," he said as he laughed.

"I wore mine to about the middle of my back from the time I was five or so until last year when I had cut to shoulder length, but I'd love to see a photo of you with long hair."

Aimee smiled at him then said, "You look so...buttoned down."

Kirk sighed before telling her he agreed.

"I thought about letting it grow out and trying to wear something trendy, but that's not me anymore."

Aimee looked right at him and said, "You don't need trendy. You just need to be yourself."

She hesitated then added, "I actually like the way you look. All buttoned down."

Kirk still had his phone out, and although he was paying attention, he was scrolling through his photos. He found what he was looking for then handed the phone to Aimee.

"What's this?" she asked before looking at it and gasping.

"Oh, my..."

She looked at Kirk then back at the photo and said, "That's you, isn't it?"

"A hipster before there were hipsters."

"I would have been all over you," Aimee informed him as she continued looking.

"And I'd have called your parents," Kirk said with a smile that made Aimee laugh.

"Oh, right. I kind of forgot about being...very young...back then."

She handed him his phone back and thanked him for sharing that with her.

Feeling confident, Kirk asked, "How about now?"

Aimee shook her head a little then asked, "How about now...what?"

Kirk was so sure she knew what he meant that he took her response to mean 'you've gotta be kidding'.

"Sorry. Nothing. Just a case of...wishful thinking."

Aimee really hadn't known what he meant, but the 'wishful thinking' comment made the light come on. And with the realization came a feeling; a very strong, very powerful feeling.

"Yes," she said as she looked at him then broke eye contact.

"Yes?"

"I was answering your question. About being all over you. Now."

Kirk's light also came on, and just as it did, Aimee looked at him again.

"I didn't mean it like that, Aimee. Not the 'all over me' part. I just meant that I really enjoy talking to you."

Kirk no sooner finished saying those words than he began beating himself up for saying them.

"Oh. I...see," Aimee replied. "You and I. We're...we're what? In the Friend Zone?"

"What? No. I mean, yes, we are friends. But I don't just want us to be friends."

He lowered his head for a second then looked at Aimee again and smiled.

"I'm usually pretty good with words, but I'm having a real struggle saying the right thing here."

"That's okay. I'm having a rough go of it over here, too."

She smiled then said, "Just so you know, I don't want to be in the Friend Zone, Kirk."

Kirk smiled and Aimee added, "But I won't be 'all over you', either."

Kirk stopped smiling and gave her a kind of puzzled look that made her laugh.

"At least not right now."

"Many things are worth waiting for," Kirk told her, a different look on his face than she'd ever seen before.

"I agree," Aimee replied with a sweet smile of her own.

"I hope you don't mind, but I kind of mentioned you to my brother."

"Oh?" she responded, one eyebrow raised a bit.

Now Kirk smiled as he said, "Yes. I told him that you...inspire me."

"Me? I'm an inspiration?" a very surprised Aimee Arot said, a puzzled look now on her face.

Kirk held up his left hand, on which was a gold wedding band he'd never taken off.

"Uh-huh. I told him that you've given me hope; hope that makes me believe that it's finally okay for me to try and love again."

Aimee smiled happily then said, "Like the song? You know, the first cut is the deepest?"

Kirk told her that was exactly what he meant then quietly began singing it.

When Aimee joined in and sang harmony, he was so surprised he stopped.

"You sing?"

"No. Not since...junior high. And mostly just harmony. I'm awful when it comes to the melody."

"You have an amazing voice," Kirk said, as he sat up straight in the chair.

"What? No. I'm not very good at all."

"I have a pretty good ear for music, and I can promise you, your harmony is good. Maybe even very good."

"Do you know 'The Sound of Silence'?" Aimee asked.

"Of course."

"My mom and dad used to sing it together. He sang the melody and she sang harmony. I joined in one day and after that, I tried to sing harmony on any song that had it."

Kirk smiled at her then sang, "Hello darkness my old friend..."

When he got to the place where harmony was needed, Aimee sang along. Her voice was crisp and clear and on key and in tune.

"Just...wow!" Kirk said when they finished the song.

"So I was...okay?" Aimee asked with a little shrug of her shoulders.

"Would you sing with me next weekend?"

"I...are you...how could I..."

"Maybe just a song or two. I'm sure your uncle would approve. And I know the audience would love you."

"I don't know, Kirk. I'm...I have a serious case of stage fright."

"That'll go away the first time you hear a room go crazy after you sing."

"I don't know. I have a job to do, and..."

"You could miss 3-4 minutes a time or two."

Aimee didn't respond so Kirk said, "And I kind of have an ulterior motive for asking you."

"And what might that be?" Aimee asked, even though she was pretty sure she knew.

"I know I'm...older than you. Okay, a lot older. But as I was saying, you...inspire me. You make me feel hopeful. And like I told my brother, I'm not naive enough to think you're the one, but you give me hope that there might be another someone out there somewhere."

Aimee didn't tell him she'd looked at his personnel file. It wasn't much of a file. It was just half a page, but she only really cared about one thing, and she was able to learn in in a second or two.

"I know how old you are, Kirk. And...that doesn't matter to me."

"So were I to, you know, ask you to have dinner with me or...whatever...would you..."

"I would," she told him, a happy smile on her very pretty face.

"You would?" he asked just to make sure he heard correctly.

"Yes. I'd like that."

"And maybe we could rehearse a song or two sometime this week."

"Maybe we could," Aimee replied, a little more coy than before.

"Is it okay if I call you? Later today?"

"Yes. I'd like that, too."

Kirk got her cell number then said, "I should probably get going."

"Kirk? I'm glad we talked."

"Me, too," he told her with a warm smile as he stood up.

Aimee also got up and moved to the side of her desk.

"So no more Friend Zone?" Kirk asked as he held out his hand.

Aimee saw it and realized it wasn't turned to shake hers but to take it. She looked it for a moment then smiled as she took it.

"No. No more of that."

"So is it okay if I..."

Kirk knew it was okay and didn't bother finishing the question. He just moved a little closer and bent down and softly kissed her for the first time.

"You were right," she told him when the kiss ended.

"About?"

"Some things are worth waiting for."

That made Kirk smile as he said, "Yes they are."

Aimee smiled back then asked, "May I tell you something?"

"Sure. Anything."

"You make me want to...try and love again, too, Kirk."

"I can't say I'd given up hope, but I have wondered many times if I ever would. Love again," he said as he ran his hands up the back of her arms.

"I'm a sucker for musicians," Aimee said, a bright smile on her face. "Especially handsome musicians."

"So I'm the exception to the rule then," Kirk said very seriously.

Aimee laughed in a way that was nearly a giggle before saying, "Ha, ha! Like you don't know you're very attractive."

"I'll take your word for it," he told her. "All I know is I feel like I'm playing way, way out of my league."

Aimee smiled then moved closer and put her arms around his neck.

"I don't see it that way," she quietly said as Kirk held her, too.

"I told my brother you make me happy."

"That's very interesting because I told my Uncle Jerry the very same thing about you."

She looked up at Kirk then said, "Among other things."

Kirk was pretty sure he knew that was the reason Jerry had backed off but didn't mention it.

"I really should go," he told her as he brushed her hair back.

"If you must," Aimee replied as she looked up into his eyes.

Kirk kissed her again then told her he must and promised to call.

On the way out he grabbed his guitar and realized he was smiling. He smiled all the way home, and when he got there, he sat down on the edge of his bed and looked at the golden band on his left hand.

He stared at it for several moments, then said out loud, "I'll never stop loving you, honey. But I'm not cut out to live the rest of my life alone. So I hope you understand."

He slid the ring off his finger, and as he stood up to put it in her jewelry box, he told her, "It's time, Kell. It's time for me to try and love again."