All Comments on 'Trying on a Collar Pt. 07'

by Carl_Bradford

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  • 15 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

Great story. The ending seemed a bit rushed.

Cindy1001Cindy1001over 3 years ago
! (Question mark)

It's always sad to see a great series come to an end, even when you know it can't go on forever and the end in itself seems logical.

But there's allways hope, so here's to the question mark!

teehaateehaaover 3 years ago
Great story but I don't believe Jesse is real.

I mean there are some human bonds hardwired by evolution. One of them is the relation of the dominant male with his submissive mate. Its the base of a lot of some really hot and steamy d/s relationships.

This kind of relationship makes the dominant male quite possessive /george / and protective /hartwick /

Slavery fucks with this bond. I would have expected some sort of a carcrash there. I would have expected to be him out for somebodys blood afrer shirleys mistreatment.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
DON'T wear two condoms

I love your stores. However, a fewtimes you mention someone putting on two condoms. This is a BAD idea and increased the chance of failure due to friction near-term the condoms.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
More stories to come?

Carl, with the ? At the end, does that mean these characters will continue in more adventures? Will Shirley be his undercover slave checking up on operations?

Does Shirley do her job so well that the corporate bigwigs take notice and want Shirley to do other undercover checking in various other settings and sites to ensure company policy is followed? -orflash64

mul717ud35mul717ud35over 3 years ago

Bravo but I hope the story isn't quite done yet. I'd love to read more about their future together. Maybe a new character or two will end up in their clutches.

Karen_48Karen_48over 3 years ago

Another great story. I really enjoy your writing and hope that you continue either with this story or new ones.

AToyCowsWhispersAToyCowsWhispersover 3 years ago
It can't end!

This whole story has been amazing and we'll written. I gave 5 stars but should rate 1 for ending it how could you. It's so good. I only wish we could have a little more with Shirley and Mrs foster. I'm so happy that Jessie asked in a roundabout way.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Loved this whole story

Thank you for this story. I was thinking a sequel to this story could involve two aurthors, yourself and Joe Doe. Since Shirley is in Texas to stay and former Harvard professor Sarah is now a Sandy Foot slave they should meet while serving at a society social function. We could get caught up with Sarah as a slave now branded broken and helpless a total pleasure slut, now owned by a now wealthy Becky Lou or Rosa since they now control Sarah's fortune. Shirley could see her real future as a slave before she fully commits herself. Rosa would be the more interesting owner of Sarah since she would not hesitate to fully break and exploit her. Sarah needs to be fully used and broken for her past sins, but the still young and naive Shirley needs to see her future before she is forced into permanent branded slavery. Of course Sarah would be broken by now with multiple piercings completely devoid of body hair stretched in all her "holes" and completely obedient. Shirley would have a choice to make, use what she has learned as a FINO and from Dr Nikki and research Sarah's books and business plan and create her own series of books training materials and eventually a booming new age slave empire she could purchase the now used up Sarah and employ Dr Nikki as her medical advisor.. Just a thought. Love both of your work.

Joe_Doe_StoriesJoe_Doe_Storiesover 3 years ago
Great End to A Great Series!

So much to like here!

-- I enjoyed the dynamic with George. There is a particular humiliation in being put under the control of someone younger than you, Presumably the younger brother lusts after the older brother's girlfriends, so the idea that the girlfriend can be given to him as a birthday present is a hot one. With Shirley as his slave, he has absolute power over a girl that would ordinarily be untouchable, which is a great power shift.

-- I liked the dynamic of her being shared among the brothers, and the staff, which was very objectifying.

-- The image of the slave slut being "checked" in the slave room of the country club, where they might be considered available for use. (I could imagine a tag being clipped to their collar indicating how much use is allowed, ha-ha!)

-- I also did wonder how people would react to her as a wife, once she had served as a slave. Presumably there would be the occasional sly remark that would make Shirley blush, when she was at the club, or with the servants, or out with Jessie, George, or their friends. It is a fascinating concept, and really fired my imagination.

-- The image of her being fondled at the party is a hot one. I had once toyed with the idea of my Victoria character being the hooker at the bachelor party, then showing up without wig and makeup and in a different persona, as one of the bridesmaids. It would be the father of the groom, who noticed the mole on her neck, who suspected something was up. :-) Again, it's a great setup, to have Shirley moving between these two worlds, or at least, potentially moving.

-- Thanks for the shout out to Sandy Foot Girls!!

-- I'm not sure I would have done the Hartwick incident, although I was glad that he was punished. In my fantasy world, the slave girls always have a great time, even when they do not, but your world is, sadly, more realistic. It's a good example of two writers having equally valid takes.

-- It was great to have a return to Longhorn, as it did bring the story full circle.

I do agree that being the girlfriend, intern, undercover slave is one hat too many. I think your ending was better, for being more realistic.

It was a fantastic series, Carl, extremely hot & suspenseful, and you should be very proud. It left me thinking about the constant shifts in power dynamics between Shirley, both brothers, Pam, and everyone else. As you know, it really inspired me, my friend, and I'm very grateful for this amazing read!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
Too simple ending

Good, but the ending is not at the same good level of this chapter.

In the end there's no questioning about her returning to her father-in-low house as free women, about her managing with the staff or the family's friends that were there at the party ...

So only 3*, for me.

With a different ending, it would have been the best chapter of this serie.

Think about it: you colud re-write this ending or write an alternative ending ...

By up-and-down

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

This is my favourite story by the author. I love the emotions of the characters and the way the author builds them into real people. I'm also a sucker for happy endings.

I'd love to see a follow-on story about the cute 18 year old slave that Shirley meets in the department store - the one that Mrs Foster's rich friend boasts about buying for her daughter as a pet, because she had dared to compete with for the same boy in highschool. I'd love to hear about her story, and all the ways her highschool rival would humiliate her in front of her former friends. I'd still like some sort of happy ending at the end though.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

I need more of this story. Loved it. Kind of sad now that it's finished. Would love to have read more about their Fino contract and once they got married and how they settled into a slave/master married relationship and of course how everyone else treated her after her contract with the mother in law. But fantastic story. Just sad that it's finished. I am kinda in love with the Jessie Chara.

AnonymousAnonymous5 months ago

Good story the end needs massive rework.

Definitely no FINO Contract. Needs a bonus $% from the Family for the abuse she incurred securing the Contract for Jessie s dad. The initial contract 💰 was unbelievably low. Should be$ 150000 min.

She should become a psychologist than work with Jessie but as a FINO expert. Marriage to Jessie .

As for George I'm thinking law school where he and little miss could rekindle and come up with a new long-term exclusive contract FINO style. Where she would belong to George once a week 24 hrs and some holiday time too.

She could love as a free women and still be bound to serve the brother for life .. oh an exclusive 2 x breeding rights for George if he also singed to be exclusive to her and her lineage..

Boys get the ranch that's where she remains as queen of the family. Pam tail spins out of control ends up on the slave block and is bought by the Family as a 20yr slave for the queen. Become a handmaid

xzg_ltrtcxzg_ltrtc2 months ago

Great story, especially the non sex parts. I really enjoyed it and it took me about a day to read, that says everything.

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