All Comments on 'Turning Allison'

How about a brain transplant?

Sorry if that seems unkind, but the fact is that the guy in the story is prepared to pay to get his fiancee fucked! And then you put the story in Loving Wives?

what she needs is to love a man

This is a promising start for a new author, but you need to learn not to bludgeon your readers with so much exposition right off the bat. Figure out a way to get those details in through storytelling, and figure out which ones we really need. The nightclub scene is hot when you get there, but then you just inexplicably stop the story. What is the thinking there?

i left a comment .... must have upset the gods ... it is now GONE... too bad because I did give a great rating

Appreciate and welcome comments, especially those that are constructive.

It is my first attempt and lots to learn.

The thinking behind the sudden drop off is for a part 2, but I wanted to test the waters and see how people enjoyed/disliked it.

Sorry to say this is a lousy story . Any man who would let his women be taken and get a thrill from her with another needs some serious physcriatic work . And proberbly been givin a drug of estacy or other to loosen her up. This pathetic and could be construed as rape. So in part 2 are you going to continue this sick story or correct you ways?.?

Never mind the anonymous negativity; embrace the anonymous positives. Your story is both exciting and promising in its early stages. I will never understand why a reader who is not accepting of the "loving wife" genre on Literotica would read such a wonderful story, first, and then tell the author it is a horrible story because it involves the loving wife genre...makes no sense to me, even more so when they don't tell you what it is they disliked except that your story is about a loving wife. At any rate, yours is a well thought-our and well told story. Be a bit careful with the editing and, if you need help there, I am willing to help, having done so for two other authors on this site. Keep writing, it's a good beginning.

You deleted my comment. Fucking cuckold wannabe.

Another gay husband want to be. This should be an entirely different category.

Very sexy build up to what leads the imagination to a very kinky finish. Sexy, lots of tension building. It's a loving wife story, he is getting kicks out of watching her be bad. I would like to read more , afraid it will end badly, but am hopefull.

People get so upset reading these, tough genre to get good scores. Hope the negative comments from Anonymous don't discourage you. You may want to try a different style/genre sometime. Good luck.

I take good criticism seriously, so thanks for those who take the time to comment.

The category is inherently controversial so I am puzzled at those who read it and hate the genre.

The ending is up in the air but it's where I was excited to go originally. Shouldn't be too typical and would like to make it exciting.

Why fiancée rather than 'wife of 6 months'? This is LW! There IS a difference. MUCH easier for either party to just walk away before marriage! This is a FICTION site...even if it is a story based on real events, change those aspects at will!

Drugs: Sweetie willing takes a tab she is told is LSD. - FINE!

She takes a pill offered by a date or pick-up - OK (less than fine!)

She asks for an aspirin, and is offered a pill from a Bayer tin...but it ISN'T an aspirin! - getting VERY questionable. She SHOULD be more careful, but it IS inappropriate on date's part!

Date slips LSD into Sweetie's drink? - clearly WRONG! Subsequent sex would be rape!

Good narrative on seduction, severely damaged by "wing-gal's" doping of Sweetie!

For deleting comments. Wouldn't it be nice if all your comments were praises. I guess by deleting the ones you don't approve off that will be the end result. Except buddy, you can't change the score. Can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, or stop posting fetish in loving wives.

This guy is a wanna be wimp ass cuckold. What else would you call a guy who gets his kicks out of watching his girlfriend. Kind of a contradiction of what he said in the beginning of the story what he says at the end of the story. You can't have it both ways. The writer is making this guy out to be another willing wimp ass cuckold. The same old tired theme done over and over in the loving wives genre. But this isn't even a loving wives story, she's his girlfriend, not wife. Erotic coupling or fetish would be a better category. Sorry I didn't find anything erotic or impressive about this tale.

How about a divorce you creepy fucking pervert! You are a sick mother fucker and you have to know the wife thinks so too! Good luck with her repecting you in the future but you don't have any self respect so I guess it doesn't matter to a sicko!

This is your first story and you go with this willing cuckold sick shit! You must be a fucking freak! I can't believe anybody would wanna be a sick pervert like this guy! Next he'll be eating cream pies and sucking dick!

Ignore the ding bats that troll this fetish based website criticizing the fetishes. Story is showing promise but as previous comment stated it should have a chapter notation in title.

Hey, if your writing in the Loving Wives section, that is your thing. Ignore all the folks who have difficulty with this life style and have to leave negative comments all the time.

Your story was very well done with tight suspense and a good built up to final punch ending. You did not need to go into anymore detail at the end. All of us readers knew what she would be doing within the hour. It was actually much more erotic that you left unsaid the coming sex scene.

I believe this story might also (or better) belong in the NonConsent section, because she was drugged. For me Loving Wives probably means the woman eventually gets to the point where she wants to have sex with another man of her own free will.

However, as I said before your story was excellent and a welcome respite from all the slam, bam, cum shooting here and there stories we read so often. Keep writing.

Perhaps this should be in "non-consent" but my rationale was that the narrator gets aroused from watching his lover "be bad". I can however have it moved if deemed most appropriate. Thanks!

The story is interesting and erotic, but I agree with others that it would be better without the drugs. You could achieve the same effect with just alcohol, the music, and the example of her "wing gal."

Keep going with a part 2. Ignore the assholes.

Just another... WACC job.

Very good. Next time leave out the drugs! :)

I hope you continue with at least one more chapter to finish this episode.

Really liked it. The drug is fine because it's between two friends with the husband right there. Definitely could have another chapter or two as things heat up even more!

yeah its exciting watching your woman without her knowledge wondering how far shes gonna go before she stops him well i'm afraid in most cases like you describe she dosent know your watching her after a bit of grinding into the guys hard on shes his 99 times out of 100 and the emotions running through your shocked body are electrifing you are green with jealousy at first but as you watch her acting like the horrible slut she is although you always tell yourself you dont care you just want to see how it pans out your secretly hoping she puts a stop to it but when it becomes obvious shes gonna get her some cock thats when you begin to wonder she seemed to embrace the slut mode pretty easily for this guy thats when it hits you shes a dirty fucking cow and how many cocks has she had over the last couple of years

Please write more. Don't let it stop there.

That's it that's cruel to leave readers hanging

Maybe the author died? Must have died, as who could stop this story for 7 years and not at least finish it 11

Author probably died after he realized what he had written here.