All Comments on 'Turning the Tables Ch. 01'

...looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Dude, blame autocorrect all you want but your protagonist goes from Eric to Jack near the end... did you even reread even once?

Anyways, I will never understand the point of mc stories where the main character is forcing people to consciously do things against their will... it's not mind control, it's being a dick. These stories should go into bdsm or nonconsent or scifi, anything but mc. Total boner killer. You could replace your nanobots by a gun to the head and it will be the same stupid story.

Some of the dialogue is awkward and Eric’s name changes to Jack for a couple paragraphs, but it’s a nice start. Interested to see where you take it.

I love the start. Hope next part comming soon.

Good job

Get an editor. Or a proofreader at minimum. The autocorrect may fix your spelling, but it won't fix awkward sentences and poorly constructed thoughts. You can take this story and run far with it. But not if you cannot hold a reader's attention. I may sound harsh but I intend this as constructive criticism rather that outright assholery

Nothing about how you described the main character is even close to average, he's athletic, above average height (average height for a man is 5'9), has a 9 inch penis, how is any of that average? You mean to tell me that there parents would be fine to leave their drug adict daughter alone, with her in charge? Why would Eric/Jack even want to come back home if he doesnt get along with his folks, cant stand his sister, and has no financial hold on him by any of them? Why would he allow himself to be bullied? This story is not relatable at all.

If you want him average in every way but intelect, make him 5'8 or 5'9, average build not really fat or really skinny, short brown hair (its the most common average color), and then make his penis 5", then he would be average. Also to make him more relatable maybe he doesn't have a full ride to school, or live away from home. Maybe he has reasons for being stuck under his parents rule. Also heres an odd note for making him relatable, make him kind not a jerk.

So he's an average man with a 9 inch penis who was accepted into MIT aged 15. If he's average what do you think a high achiever looks like?!

I thought it was a good start just need to have more chapters

Enjoyed the story so far. Looking forwato to reading more!

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted, I am working on chapter two of this story, and am trying to improve based off the feedback I received, but I can't do all of it. There are certain things I can't fix now, such as certain instances of broken dialect in the last book, or plot holes, and all I can say to the plot holes is: There are plot holes in all forms of erotica. I can't create an effective story without a few critical details missing. Also, little thing, when I said Eric was 'average,' I primarily meant in facial structure. Finally, I am an amateur writer, but if anyone wants to proof read my works, I would be welcome to it.

Definitely would love to be a slave

Ali n aimait pas Éric mais pense en première à l apeller maître sans chercher à se libérer ?

Elle revient de chez elle puis tue Éric car il a pas penser à mettre cette ordre

La soeur d Éric apelle direct la police et leur parle de la puce car ba elle a pas reçu l ordre de n en parler à personne