Twisted Tree 05

Twisted Tree 05

Hi there, people, I'm Echo and my biggest regret in life was telling other people that some of the things they tell me echo around inside of my head before I fully understand what they've said to me, but it all settles down quickly enough and it's actually been getting better as I grow. Anyways, my story starts with the night that Mrs. Bentley tricked me into working for her at her huge outdoor séance event at Twisted Tree and, oh, hold please, I have a customer.

"Oh, Echo, I didn't expect to see you here at Twisted Tree, so what's with the little table? And you're looking very nice, by the way."

"Hi, January, I mean, Mrs. Bentley was trying to do everything herself again, so I let her trick me into sitting here at this table and distribute glow sticks to assist with the huge outdoor séance and spiritual cleansing event, which I'm happy to do, even though I'm not too happy about being this close to the old dried-up water well. And back at you with how amazing you look tonight, January. I mean, it's obvious that you're dressed to impress Psychic Paranormal Pam since she is your people and all and that's a compliment and not a slam. I mean, you actually look like you're ready to appear on the cover of Hot Goth Monthly, so."

"LOL, well, thanks, Echo, but let's circle back to you then. This is, well, this is a different look for you, so who are you dressed to impress then, hmm?"

"I mean, it's not all that different, it's just less. I didn't want to look "bulky" with too many layers of clothing and I figured with it being this dark and all, so."

"No, no, I like it. I mean, good for you being so brave to wear only Capri tights and a single pair of black Denim shorts! Oh, and a leotard body suit too under you jacket! It all suits and defines your slender body, so."

"I mean, January, it's a gymnastic uniform, but I liked how thick it felt. I also thought I should be all tucked in tight if I were going to, whew, show my true self in front of this many people, so."

"Oh, I mean, good for you again then, Echo and wow, Twisted Tree is chuck full of people tonight and I think Chuck will be delighted with your more revealing look. And yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that Jacob is your crush, but Chuck has always had an eye for you too and at least he has had an eye on your front as well as your backside, unlike your crush, Jacob, who only wants to crush you from the back, so."

"Oh, don't I know that, January! Chuck has come by my glow stick give away table like three times and each time he wanted me to personally tie the glow stick necklace string around his neck, which I only did once, so."

"LOL, I would imagine that Chuck's glow stick liked that then! Anyways, have you ventured over to the old dried-up water well pit yet and peered down into its darkness and said something? It has been said many times that the deep pit has all of the answers, so?"

"I mean, I peeked down in there just after I got this glow stick give away table set up, January and I said hello, but LOL, just like the sounds that echo in my head, it just went "hello, hello, hello, hello" back, so that's enough of that because it' spooky. I mean, do you realize how easy it would be accidently flip over the edge of the short retaining wall and end down there as someone "Water Well Pit Boyfriend for all eternity then, January? Not to mention that someone was pulling on my shoulders, so."

"Or there were four horny faggots standing behind you saying 'hello" as you bent over the old brick retaining wall and one doesn't need the "all knowing and all seeing" powers of Psychic Paranormal Pam to realize that certain men like the view when you bend over, so."

Well, guys are just guys, right folks? They like backsides and that's that and if someone is bending over a brick retaining wall, like really, really far, well, all they see is a seam in Denim shorts being stretched out, right? Anyways, hi there, I'm Echo and, oops, hold please! We have an unexpected visitor.

"Oh, and did I just hear someone mention my name then, hmm? I'm Psychic Paranormal Pam and this is my nighttime paranormal investigation and if people are going to let my name slip from between their sweet lips, well, I need to know about that. And just who are you, my lovely and luscious little slice of darkness then, hmm?"

"Who, me? I'm January and I'm here talking to my friend, Echo and desperately trying to not get caught up in the middle of his totally annoying, yet non-sexual torrid love affair drama with his crush, Jacob, who apparently hasn't come around yet to get his free glow stick or Echo would be even more of an emotional train wreck by now, so if you need any assistance with the fighting off the dead or the living, Psychic Paranormal Pam, I mean, I'm your girl and I don't care what kind of sex dead old Grandpa Clyde is looking for tonight from the living, I'll stick by your side. Either that or we could have a seat on the old dried-up water well brick retaining wall and talk about what happens when two women who are both wearing the same shade of black lip gloss get with it, I mean, would anyone even know or what?"

"Well, I'm a bit taken back right now, January, but you have my attention, so, whew, but it only seems fitting that you help your friend, Echo before we start talking about what happens when two people who have the same shade of lip gloss get with it then, so tell me the rest of Echo's annoying story and give me a chance to, whew, catch my breath then, so?"

"Oh, you know, Psychic Paranormal Pam, it's the same old story. Echo here has been crying and dying for someone like Jacob to be with him while he's laying on his bed in just his Brazilian cut undies and with his little legs bent upwards to enhance his twin valley silhouette and then, you know, Jacob has been crying and dying to know what it must feel like to get all balls deep in the middle of Echo's fine and shapely twin valleys of love and then, you know, other than a few "things go bump" in the corner, I mean, nothing ever happens, so you know, Psychic Paranormal Pam, it's the same old, same old and I get stuck in the middle as the annoyed story teller, so?"

"Oh, well then, January, whew, (gasp, gasp) I mean, Echo, is any of that true then?"

"I mean, I seem to have better female transition lines about my body than I do have male lines and I think I'm fortunate enough to have such a nice silhouette from a laying down position, but I like that we're talking about me, so?"

[Mwah, smooch, oomph, ummah, mwah, smack]

"Oh, sorry, um, wow, I mean, well, it's none of your business if I investigate January's lips on the side while you babble on and on about your annoying and non-sexual boyfriend issues, Echo! Anyways, whew (gasp), and I thought this fancy ass Corset was hampering my breathing, I mean, wow, um, I mean, this is quickly becoming my best nighttime paranormal investigation ever! Anyways, to get back with what's important here, producer/camerawoman, Staci, would you happen to have an extra switch paddle whip on you for my Twisted Tree Girlfriend January then, huh?"

[Swoosh, swish, swash, swash, swash]

What? Camera people just happen to walk around nighttime paranormal investigations with spare Dom Whip Paddles then? I mean, I thought they carried around extra camera batteries and little electronic boxes to detect the presence of the dead, right?

"Alright then, Echo [swash smack] ooh, that stings, January, whew, anyways, Echo, it sounds like you have an ass to die for and it sounds like this Jacob crush of yours is dying to tap it and Twisted Tree is all about dying and tapping into the spirits of the unknown, so, [swash smack] ooh, LOL, January, not in front of the living, so what's going to happen tonight then, Echo?"

"Well, I guess I'm just going to continue to hand out glow sticks from this table and hope that Jacob comes around then, I guess. I mean, it's not like "things go bump in the night" is all that's happened between us, I mean, one time Jacob lifted me so that I reach a serving platter above my refrigerator and he investigated a few spots on me with his glow stick, so."

"(Huh, that's a true story, Psychic Paranormal Pam. I was there and oh boy, was Jacob's glow stick glowing! [Swash ass smack]."

"Ooh, January babe, well, listen Echo, you look nice tonight, so maybe this Jacob guy will come around before my national famous paranormal investigation is complete tonight, so [swash ass smack], ouch, hang tight, sweetie, just watch out for how you hand things off to any others. There are many of the living and the dead here who wouldn't mind, you know, performing their own deep dive investigation into all that, so?"

"Well, that's why I picked a leotard without a flap or a zipper, so."

[Mwah, smooch, oomph, ummah, mwah, smack, grope, swash smack, smooch]

"What? Huh? I mean, good girly boy, so carry on then, Echo."

[Playful swash ass smack]

"(Grumble, whisper, mumble.)"

"Oh, well, I mean, Echo, your friend January or my now Twisted Tree Girlfriend, wants to remind you to not fall for any trick where one or thirty faggots try to convince you that a glow stick with a necklace string is the same as a cock ring, so."

"I'll be fine guys. I'm a Ninja on the side and I can handle a few things, well, that sounded worse than I meant it, but I'll be fine. And just stop with the whispering and giggling too!"

[Mwah, smooch, oomph, ummah, mwah, lip smack, swash smack, lip smack, swash smack, grope]

"Huh, what? Oh, alright, Echo."

"(Grumble, whisper, mumble, tee, he.)"

"(Well, how do you know his sissy fem boy juice squirts clear then, January?)"

"(Grumble, whisper, mumble, oops.)"

"Oh, well, I mean, Echo, LOL, you picked a bad paranormal investigation event to work the glow stick table at then if you're afraid of ghosts because trust me, January will not be comforting you safely in your bed tonight, but don't be afraid to scoot your table a little closer to the water well because the entities forever trapped down in the pit wouldn't know the difference between normal man creamy white juice and whatever squirts out of your fem boy tool, so (oh, does he have a tool, January?)"

"(Grumble, whisper, mumble, ah, hmm, ag, ag, ug, ug, ag, ooh, ahh.)"

"Well then, we'll investigate that another day then maybe, so."

And they kept whispering and mumbling and giggling as they walked away and traded sexy swashing ass slaps, all of which producer/camerawoman, Staci caught with her camera.

Anyways, where was I then? Oh, hey there hey, I'm Echo and all I want to say is that if and when we meet, LOL, you might have to give the things you say to me a moment to settle in my mind, but things are getting better, so don't be too frustrated with me at first, alright?

And if you're not at Twisted Tree for the big outdoor paranormal investigation, well you missed me while I wore my most revealing outfit that I wore out in public, but, LOL, there are plenty of photos on my Chang homepage and a nice comment about my "team spirit" gymnastic leotard wouldn't make me mad, so.

Especially since I gave the old "lean over the brick retaining wall" call out another try in between customers at my glow stick give away table.

"Hello! (Hello, hello, hello, hello)."

I mean, LOL, it echoed just like the things in my head do, so it was fun, right?

"I mean, the old dried-up water well pit is kind of a couple's thing, so I think you need me then. And what's with the table and chair then, huh?"

"Oh, I mean, it doesn't really feel like I'm alone and I'm the green illuminous glow stick give away person as aids to the people with the outdoor paranormal investigation that is currently underway and they are free just as long as you sneak in a lip lock with Mrs. Bentley as a thank you. And before you ask, I will place a glow stick around your neck, not I will not tie one, well, down below. Cock rings are available with Mrs. Henderson in the medium gray tent, so."

"Well, that's fine for later, but it's you and I at the old dried-up water well right now and Twisted Tree has traditions, so?"

"Oh, I mean, I wouldn't want to break any long-standing traditions, but my assignment tonight, which was defined by Psychic Paranormal Pam herself, is to only suck face with a proven blood relative of the long deceased Johnston family, so?"

"What? Do you want to prick my finger and suck my droplet of blood then? I mean, is your sassy little mouth a blood test thing or something?"

"Oh, if you want to be a prick about a little finger prick, then you can keep your prick in your pants and move along then, prick!"

"Alright then, I like sassy in bed. Are you a little sassy in the bed then?"

"I mean, my body pillow slaps me around sometimes and then I go all Ninja on it, so."

"Great, then you're a sassy Ninja then, just the way I like my bed partner. So, is that your name then? Sassy Ninja?"

"Oh, I'm Echo and I'm in a semi committed relationship with my body pillow, a guy named Jacob, a goth girl named January and a toothpick, so."

"Ah, a toothpick then, Echo?"

"Well, I wanted to know what all the fuss was about with these "cutters", but the best I could was to scratch myself with a toothpick, so. Anyways, what's your name then?"

"Jeremy, Jeremy Johnston, seventh descendant of old man Jerimiah Johnston, so. He has like six Great's attached to the front of his name, so?"

"I mean, you're lying to me then, Jeremy, if Jeremy is even your real first name, so?"

"Well, of course, I'm lying about that, Echo. I like the way you lean over the wall and I want a little time with all that, so?"

"Oh, are you expecting points for coming clean and confessing then, Paul? I mean, you look like a Paul, so."

"Saul, so you're way off with my name, Echo, so you owe me three points for seven minutes then!"

Oh, sure, that math worked just fine in his head, right?

"Ag, ag, choking, ag, ag, choking."

"Well, Saul, meet my protector for the night, the real Jeremy Johnston then. That's enough, Jeremy, he's done. Oh, LOL, alright then. Saul, you're trying to fag a ghoulishly claimed dresser and you should watch out going forward for any visits that you make to Twisted Tree or you will find yourself forever locked here as well, so?"

"Ag, ag, still choking, ag, ag."

"Reach back and squeeze, Saul."

[Reach, squeeze, rub, squeeze, rub, ooh]

I mean, the two of them should be very happy together then. I mean, a lot of the other people would have been happy if they walked a deeper into the tree line before they went 69 on each other because it looked really weird to only be able to see Saul performing oral sex with the air, but I suppose the spirits of the Johnston family can only go so far away from the final resting place, so. Not that many of us could look away, but it was like a train wreck, right? You don't want to look, but you can't turn away either, so.

"Oh, there you are, Echo. I've been looking for you and whatever you do, don't tell me anything about what I'm seeing over there under that tree! So, let's turn around and go! Wow. Anyways, this is a new look for you then, Echo, right?"

"Oh, Jacob, um, yeah, we should walk away from that "man on ghost" action! I mean, I have enough video to capture the moment and thanks for noticing that I backed off a little with the layer upon layer of clothing. I mean, everyone knows who and what I am, so in these modern times, right?"

And no, folks, I did not post my short and weird ass ghostly sex video on Chang immediately. I mean, Psychic Paranormal Pam owned the rights to all video captured during her nighttime investigation, so.

"So, Jacob, according to January and Psychic Paranormal Pam, we're both dying for something to finally happen between us, so?"

"Oh, I mean, Echo, I don't mean to sound rude, but you've been the one who won't give it up, so?"

"Jacob, I mean, it's for your protection. I mean, the moment we get semi or completely naked with each other, I mean, I'm still going to be a guy no matter how many times we do something and I'm not fully convinced that you don't think with your boner sometimes, so?"

"Well, it's not like we're going to advertise it or do it over the old dried-up water well while you lean over the old brick retaining wall where everyone could watch me getting all balls deep in between your twin valley's of love or anything, so?"

So, um, folks, all that was code for him to do me, but all in secret, right? Which apparently, didn't piss off my spiritual protector, Jeremy Johnston, because Jacob wasn't being choked and I could clearly see that Jeremy was finished with Saul because Saul was groaning and drizzling on the ground, so.

"I mean, Jacob, are you choking or does it feel like you're being choked then? I mean, if not, then it might be time that you choked me then with your fully illuminated glow stick then, so?"

Which was the worst possible combination question and statement that I could have ever made to Jacob, especially at a place like Twisted Tree! And specially since the remaining old foundation of the Johnston's farmhouse seemed to be at the prefect height as one sat on it. But, LOL, it saved my Capri tights from being damaged from kneeling in the grass, so there was that, I guess.

End Twisted Tree 05