All Comments on 'Two Lonely Women Ch. 01'

Cum burp? Friggin’ nasty. Quit reading right there.

Different strokes, my friends. When Cindy did that to me irl I was stunned, but not disgusted. I never forgot it. That's for sure. And three of my friends at the time who all did say they were disgusted by that when I told them about it in the days and weeks ahead, all three hooked up with Cindy and all three requested she do it for them. Cindy, angry with me at the time and hooking up with my friends for revenge, complied. Just saying. You claim disgust, but I suspect sour grapes.

No one believes it happened broseph. Keep dreaming in yo mammas basement.

Nobody has to believe it really happend, and to be sure the story I end up with is so different in so many ways than my true life experience. I've changed all names, including mine. I've condensed it for brevity, leaving many conversations and people out. I even changed some things to make it easier to write. For instance, the real life "Cindy" was not pregnant at the time she gave me the first and greatest BJ of my life. She had a two month old infant in bassinet in her bedroom at the time and she knew I had never had a BJ before. So, yeah. This is fantasized for entertainment, but the details of the sex are fairly accurate. I was compelled to keep the sex straight. Oh! And Cindy had blonde hair and blue eyes, and was not Rose's biological daughter, but a step-daughter from Rose's first husband. Steven was her half-brother. Still, I hope this stands up as just fun to read. Documenting my sexperiences, some of which really were amazing, should be fun to read. They're definitely fun to write. Believe it's all fake if you like. That's fine. I just hope you enjoy the ride.

This is another rather odd story by Hofeeder! What’s odd about it? Well, the narrator’s first love interest is a pregnant eighteen-year-old girl from a family in the “witness protection program.” And his second love interest is said girl’s mother of five! That he himself is a senior living with his “maternal grandmother” and “working every night at a pizza parlor” strikes one as almost ‘common’ in contrast.

The falling in and falling out of love (at least on the girl’s side) is told in a rather clipped or “condensed,” as Hofeeder himself put it (see his comment above), manner which isn’t exactly naturally fit to convey these grave emotional disturbances to the reader in any successful or ‘believable’ way. And again there’s this—almost signature—bit of tonal dubiousness in there that’s (unintentionally) funny as the narrator informs the reader that the actual sex with the eighteen-year-old girl was not remarkable enough to remember anything about it apart from the ‘fact’ that it happenend—sometime in the late seventies. What kind of irony is that, especially considering the kind of site the writer chose to publish this story on?

And what happened to the baby? I find it rather remarkable that the girl’s “pregnant belly” figures prominently in the story, but then there’s no mention of her pregnancy’s outcome, even though the narrator, by his own admission, entered into a relationship with the girl (while she was still pregnant) for “about six or nine months,” which would—logically—encompass the time and date of her delivery.

But it’s an odd story right from the start, so, presumably, this is just another oddity?

—AJ