All Comments on 'Two Mothers, Two Daughters Ch. 01'

A good premise for a story but I would highly recommend getting an editor, mainly for grammatical errors. Maybe a beta reader or two to help with the progression of the story. For me, personally, or moved too fast from one experience to the other. Gabriela had a few paragraphs of development, but Rosa almost had none. Just food for thought.

Ooo, this is so sweet and wonderful. I hope you have more ready to go and aren't going to make us (me) wait until you've thought up Chapter 2. These women are all really hot and they deserve to be happy.

What an awesome start! It would be nice to have one of the ladies assume role as the lead pussy, and make sure the others served her as well as Mike, to include her mother/daughter. We know Sharon's a big sub, so that leaves one of the other three. You write what best suits the story though. You did great in this chapter without my help. 5/5 stars.

Dewey Cheatham

More chapters, please.

A pretty good story, but it desperately needs work with an editor.

HOT & well developed story line

with rich detail.

Spelling & syntax need editing.

Both detract from the flow &

enjoyment of reading your tale

of debauchery. Looking forward

to Chapter 2!

Have him fuck the girls at there school next

More please!