All Comments on 'Uncle Jimmy and Cindy Pt. 01'

Great build to the story. I can't wait to see where it goes. Could have been a little longer.

really good . really fantastic . really sensational . . . does need lots longer

than this next chapter . DON'T RUSH AROUND THINGS THAT TONS

AUTHORS DOING . TAKE TIME DOING THINGS TAKE TIME EXPLAIN THINGS

TAKE TIME AWESOME DETAILS

Good story but you have your tenses mixed up as if you took another story and tried to make it yours.

Thanks for the feedback. @anonymous, I appreciate that feedback. I originally wrote it in a different form ("you and me" perspective, active tense) but thought it better to change to "me and her" and past-tense for publishing, which is perhaps why I missed a few changes in the process.

He hasn't seen his niece in 13 years, since she was 5, and she remembered him well enough to be excited to see him?