All Comments on 'Under a Thin White Sheet Ch. 03'

i'm1st.commenti'm +&+& i'm1st.favoritei'm - - -

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ... ... ... ... ...

I've didn't read stories just yet [ all them so far ] when I've make time

" i'll do just that " :-) :-) :-) :-)

I looked at your bio, and it says nothing. You should fill in your details so we can understand where your story is coming from. What a treat the young woman gave her brother. Sharing her womanhood was overwhelming for both of them. It will be etched in their memories for ever.

I wouldn't mind doing this kind of laundry every day :)

The sister is hatching a plan to seduce or at least entice her brother but I'm just waiting for her wall of "we can't" and "we shouldn't" to crumble and for them to fully embrace the love they feel for one another.

5* material though!

Brings back so many memories of my sis and I. Very hot,.

herfun101@yahoo.com

Thank you for your feedback.

Chapter 4 has been pending for several days and will likely be published very soon. It is longer at 3 pages (I believe) as the story continues to develop. Flash new though, Chapter 5, my latest chapter just got pushed to the site so expect it soon. It is also the longest chapter so far!

this story keeps getting better, the horny sister says she won't have sex but I think she will

This is very fine work from someone who seems to be new to writing. Well told with a beautifully paced build-up. A couple of wrong or missing words but it doesn't detract much. Looking forward to the rest of the story. Five stars well deserved.

A very good story, good build up , .... And the sister is awesome

Yes, a very loving and arousing story of his sister getting the courage to coax him to have some sex play, look at her beautiful body and for her to entice him to squirt his come into her panties and also on her body. She is really horny for him now and he is for her. Hopefully, she'll want him to cum on her again and maybe even jerk him off. He will have to do something more direct to get her off too. I cannot wait for the next chapter. Thank you.

I love finding stories like this. Ones that are believable. Wrestling with their conscience over what they want to do but think they shouldn't. No baseball bats for cocks or huge breasts. The fact they haven't had actual intercourse yet didn't detract from the story. Keep it going and draw out the actual sex as long as you can. It is good to torture your readers!

This was a very hot story. I enjoyed it a great deal. One thing though - please proof read or find a good editor. There was some repetition in the beginning and there are continuing errors in spelling or grammar that make it more difficult to read. This is meant to be constructive criticism and I hope you take it that way. I LOVE this story and will no doubt continue to read it whether or not you take my advice, it's just that it could be SO much better. Anyway, kudos on an imaginative tale.

I always take constructive criticism well. I appreciate when my readers bring my attention to something that may not be correct or fully developed. It makes me a better writer and story teller. Thank you for the editorial feedback and I will spend more time proof reading prior to publishing a story. Thank You!

You have just destroyed me. I may never get another erection. All is perfect.

Chapter 6 Submitted and pending review.

well it's my first Erotic book/novel BUT it is overwhelmingly HOT.

Story is pretty lacking. Mostly in the consistency. Chapter two shows the sisters POV, chapter three almost doesn't read like they are the same character. The crying and stuttering, all of the nonsense from the brothers internal monologue. All of this is poorly done and detracts from the overall story. Solid erections for the first two chapters but this third one made me limp before they even got kinky. Real bad letdown. Not sure why people are complimenting it.