All Comments on 'Under the Hot Sun'

Good premise.

But how did we get from her drinking some water to being naked in bed?

And no real foreplay. Went from zero to 100mph in a flash.

No dialog about what either felt. Or wanted to be done to him/her. Ir wanted to do to the other.

No buildup.

Disappointing. Had real possibilities, but didn't deliver on them.

Two stars.

@Anonymous: Hi! So from my perspective, the things you're describing as if they're errors or accidental omissions are stylistic choices which are, really, the whole point of the story. It's two sections (tease/context then action) with a clear divide in between - anything else is left to the imagination to get to the point quickly. All my stories have minimal dialog or no dialog at all.

I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts, but this is what I do and I think it probably just isn't for you! Luckily there's plenty more plot/dialog-driven content on here for you to seek out. Thanks!

This was an amazing and hot story to get off to, wonderful job!

@Anonymous: Glad you enjoyed - feel free to take a look through my other stories for some similar stuff and some slightly different stuff. Lots more on the way too. Thanks!