All Comments on 'Unexpected Ch. 05'

I do love this story, please keep it coming. Can't wait to see what happens with them.

Thank you...

I hope this isn't the end, I was really liking this story. Except for the chapters being so short.

am I right?

Wouldn't be easier to just bring back Callens' old girlfriend (or him end up with Alex cousin?. or any other girl) than make him gay for Jase?

This has been a great story but you made it sound like it is done. I hope not, I'd love to read more as I've become attached to these guys. Thanks for writing but please continue. Thanks

Please don't stop til everyone lives HEA...including Jase and Callen (together)

With Callen being straight i didn't mean Jase would be left alone and sad, he would get his own guy (Maybe in a different larger/better? story for him alone where somehow he reconects with some of his family?). Is just that it would be so... "Ugh" (?) if it really goes that way. I could see the idea going for Alex and Trace, but with them is just feels like a fail? (sorry if i don't explain myself good enough, english is not my first lenguage

Brilliant,story, characters and pace. When I read a good story, I am there with the charters especially my favorite. For the first time ever, so far they are all my favorites. Thank you, you have no idea how happy you have made this old gal.

Your prose is very garrulous. I understand that you're providing background but it gets tedious at points and I feel like skipping so much. I also write lengthy chapters, but I trim so much that it doesn't get boring, or at least I hope!

Here's the thing, less is more. Before you write anything, ask yourself: is this relevant? is this interesting? is this funny? If the answer to all of those is no, then get rid of it. Your reader is smarter than you think, and the less you say, the more depth there is to your characters --which is also another defect regarding your writing.

All in all, good story, likeable characters, and your grammar and punctuation are improving as you go along.

MOONBEETLE SHUT UP AND READ.NEGATIVE COMMENTS PUT WRITERS OFF BE NICE BEFORE YOU GET BITCH SLAPPED LOL X

Yet isn't in funny Moonbeetle that for all your "advice" to BNTMDL about lack of editing and what not, BNTMDL's chapters seem to out rank yours... Maybe you should look around your own glass house before lobbing those stones? I took some time to skim a couple of your chapters and I gotta say you are in no position to be advising other authors...

BNTMDL just keep going you're truly doing a great job so far, can't wait for the truly sexy times I can feel headed our way :)