Unexpected Pt. 01

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I bump into you in a random bar,something unexpected happens.
920 words
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- Hey

- Hey you - you say

I smile and look back at the bartender while he's making my drink. I sit there on the stool while he gives me my vermouth with soda and lemon.

- Thank you - I say as the bartender gives me back my debit card.

I have a sip of my drink and in the corner of my eye I see you glancing at me, while you're sitting a few feet away.

I look at what you're drinking. Looks like some kind of whiskey.

- Cheers - you say and gently raise your glass just a little bit. I do the same, without saying anything.

I look around and then I grab my phone. *sighh*

- Fuckkk - I whisper

- You ok? - you say

- Yeah just. I think my friend just fucking blew me off.

- Oh that's too bad

- Yeah what a cunt - I say looking at the screen of my phone, typing. I'm texting and finally put my phone away. I look pissed.

- Hey it's fine - you say - you can have that drink with me if you want

This time I take a quick glance at you, doubting for a moment. I look around again.

- Hey if you don't want to, it's fine.

- Hmm, yeah, sorry. of course, why not

- Sure? - you smile a bit

- Yeah - I give away a little nervous chuckle

- Great. Well, I'm Liam. And you?

- I'm Eris, hi.

- What brings you here, Eris?

- I just finished working and well, just had a fucking lonnnng day. Kida, my friend, suggested we could go out and just chill. But she got caught in the middle of something.

- Well, her loss is our gain

I take a sip of my drink. We share silence for a moment.

- You always come here by yourself, Liam?

- Actually yeah - you say - Jim, the bartender, is a very old friend of mine.

I look at him, he gives away a little blink

- He must keep track of all the girls you date - I say

This time you don't say anything, you hide a small smile in your glass and have a sip. At this point I decide I actually like the way you look. You're slim but your hands and arms look strong. You're wearing all black, you look tough but you're very gentle and there's this attitude that you have that intrigues me.

I lean a little bit forward.

- Can I taste that? Your drink, I mean

- Go ahead - you put the glass on the table and give it a little push towards me.

- What is it?

- Its bourbon

I drink a little bit

- Hmm

- You like it? - you say

- It's a little bit hard

- Hmm

- But i like it that way - I say

- Right... - this time you smile and you don't hide it.

We sit there. Silence doesn't feel uncomfortable. That's rare to find in someone. You look relaxed, maybe a little tired. I must look tired too now that I think about it. I fix my hair and tie it in a low ponytail. You catch me glancing at you again. I wonder what's the next move.

- I really like the music they play here - I say

- What's this?

- This is "Look" by Sébastien Tellier

- Never heard of him

- You should, he's great - I say

You take out your phone and start texting so I kinda look another way. But then you show me the screen. You typed Sébastien Tellier on your spotify

- There, saved.

I smile. I pick my glass once again, it's almost empty now. Yours too. I struggle to take off my black jacket, leaving my blouse on.

- Sorry it's just too hot here. Must be the vermouth - I chuckle and have a last drink - or you - I whisper.

I'm not sure you heard me. I think you did but you act like you didn't.

- Eris, can I tell you something?

- Go ahead

- My vermouths are better than Jim's, you know

Jim frowns towards us

- Maybe, I can make you some somewhere else - you speak quieter this time. This is the first time you sound very precautious.

- Well that's if you don't have other plans for tonight - you insist

- I don't - i respond - I just don't wanna bother Jim i guess

You lean forward me and whisper near my ear - fuck Jim

Your whisper gave me chills. I pick my purse and my jacket and raise my eyebrows, inviting you to join me. I stand up, you do the same.

- My car's upfront - I say

You nod and follow me. We get inside my car, I'm looking for my keys in my purse. When I find them, I don't turn the car on.

- Hey Liam

- Yeah?

- Don't take this the wrong way, but hmm, I don't usually take strangers to my house.

Suddenly you lean towards me, your face very close to mine, and with one hand you grab me softly by my chin:

- Then let's do it here - you whisper in my mouth

+++ PART II COMING SOON LOVES, GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK IF YOU CAN :) +++

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7 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Learn how to format paragraphs and dialogue first, then maybe try writing.

ErisNightgaleErisNightgalealmost 2 years agoAuthor

hey thank you all so much for the feedback, it's all very helpful. english is not my native language so I may have some preposition and other grammar errors. feel free to comment on them

BamboozlerBamboozleralmost 2 years ago

That opening has filled me with anticipation about what's going to happen next. I was kinda hoping she wouldn't be able to find her keys in her handbag ;)

BamboozlerBamboozleralmost 2 years ago

That opening has filled me with anticipation, although I was hoping she wouldn't be able to find her car keys in her handbag at first ;)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

looking forward for part II!!!!

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