All Comments on 'Unnatural Thirsts'

I have just read real literature. This is on par with famous authors. Are you really Anne Rice? I mean, the character development was superb, the gradual revelation of the 'gifts' and the family secrets was perfectly paced, really drawing one into it, and the erotica was compelling, and satisfying on many levels (including, you know, the baser ones). I've found my new favorite Lit author.

I have no clue why this doesn’t have as much attention as it should. This was incredible and the entire premise of it was amazing. Thank you, so much. You truly have a gift.

I haven't commented in so long I don't Remember my log in anymore . I originally even had a lit email addy to boot very easily one of the best

A real writer...

That was a joy to read

Your writing is usually cool but serious failure here: NO kid stands up in their crib at 12 months. Nope. It's really good if they can crawl. Ahhhhhh....

I enjoyed your gift of this story. Not every thing submitted on this site need be sexual with sucking and fucking although you did just that lol. This was a great read. Thanks

I'm not sure about your understanding of 12-month olds... I was walking by then.

That is my opinion. Wonderful dark and sexy as hell... Literally.

This was a story about supernatural creatures and their incestuous love for each other while living in the modern world, involving a mind control cult, torture and a secret society of vampires and your biggest issue is with a 1 year old standing up in their cot? What the hell is wrong with you? Some kids start talking at 1yo, other kids development can be stunted but having a baby/toddler pull themselves up in their cot is very much within the realms of possibilities. If you search "when do babies stand", the first hit on Google states it's between 8-10 months. Now if you have any further comments, first engage whatever occupies the space between your ears before burdening others.

As for my views on the story, I loved it, it was really well written and the documented style of the piece was very unique.

I am not usually a fan of story tell on here but my god this dragged me in and kept me reading and reading brilliantly written by one of the best writers on here love your work and would love a follow up story on there adventures together brilliant

I just watched a movie. Thank you.

As to standing in a crib, my niece not only stands (and crawls) at eleven months, but she climbs out of her crib and up the sofa, and in the kitchen cabinets, well you get the picture...

My son not only stood up in his crib at 10 months, but walked unaided at 11 months. If that is the only fault you can find in this tale, then it must be a pretty good yarn. I for one was captivated by this story as I am by most of this author's submissions.

Actually most children take their first steps at one....as I've seen and as shown by pretty much all online resources.

and to the comment on infant athleticism; hahaha... I walked at nine months. When I was in kindergarten, my little brother climbed a 12' chain link fence at twelve months... lol caught his jumper on the top of the fence and squealed until we all came out of the house to see him dangling in frustration...

So much love in this story...

Thank you for the enjoyable and VERY plausible read. It was no trouble to suspend belief within this story. again, well done!

That was a trip well worth taking

The quality of this story is superb. Average score of this should have been around 4.7 or 4.8. My only guess is that the story is in second person and people didn't like it very much. Its quite rare to find well made story made in second person like this.

A complete story in a single submission! Maybe not as good as the "Finn" series, but I did enjoy it thoroughly, and I only had to stay up until 2:00 am to finish it. Thanks again, for all your work

Just.. beautiful.

...Because I can't help but want at least a few more pages than this. Believe it or not I only stumbled onto your work three days ago with the "A Matter of Blood" series. Couldn't stop reading it. I fell asleep with my laptop on my chest. After I finished that, I read "Long Lost" and I love both stories absolutely to death. The only bad thing about either of them is how fast the end sneaks up on me.

In this particular story I'd have really loved a bit more detail of the brother's 'second life' as it alone would make for quite the epic, I'm sure. Perhaps you could revisit this idea in the future, maybe next year's Halloween contest, loathe as I am to put the idea in your head to wait that long. Haha.

Best wishes, and well regards,

--Chuck

This story was outstanding I was unable to put it down I hope you write more stories like this.

I hope you do really well with the contest. These characters are so good that I hope you decide to fill in more of the story after he was turned. There is a gold mine of stories there if you ever feel the urge. Thanks.

You have once more blown my mind. Superb erotic fantasy of the best kind.

Holy (or unholy) shit! The hair on my neck and arms stood up for most of the story. This is beautiful, sad and appeals to the best and worst of my nature. I really wish there were a "6" (or "11", Spinal Tap fans) or "Top 100 All Time".

Well done.

This story is beautifully written. The characters have a lot of depth. I understand that the plot was rushed. This could easily be re-written into a full length chapter book. Sex isn't the main driving force, but the love for one another. That is truly hard to capture as a writer. You should be proud and build on this story if not make it a full book. Bravo and dont stop writing.

I love these characters.I love your writing style. I love this story! Good luck in the contest.

But terrifyingly haunted and beautiful

Intense, well-told story. 5!

What was her coming of age?

I just finished reading your story. I absolutely loved it. The tension that filled this story was incredible. I don't have the words to express how this made me feel. Please, please keep writing!! I love your work!

The story would read better if the sister wasn't referenced by 'you' and the brother by 'I' or 'me' at the same time. Confusing, like the reader is both persons at the same time.

I actually attempted to read about half dozen entries, and gave up finding anything worth reading for the contest.

Using story tag searching, I found and thoroughly enjoyed your matters of blood series.

Finding and enjoying this erotic horror, in my opinion, you win! That line 'taste my life on your lips...' Wow, what a wonderfully woven story.

I love this story, it has become one of my favorites.

A fun read that feels like a modern side story to The Afflicted! Some similar story beats, but not over done. Would have lived some more lovey dovey time with two of them but really enjoyed what was given. Would love a follow up about the later part of their lives inclucing their children!!!

The only reason I gave this story 5 stars is that there's no option for 6! Keep up the great work!

I don’t generally enjoy tales written in the second person, as they are very hard to do, well.

This is an exception. So we’ll written.

Having said that, you dear author are far, far too good a writer to allow the few pesky typos I ran across, usually at a point where meaning was critical. Still, I’m very much looking forward to reading more of your work.

Thank you for entertaining us!

I hope that you write more tales of their lives. I could see several installments on this story.

I expected something a bit more scary, but this is a very good love story with some interesting plot twist. I hope you continue with these characters. It's nice to find characters with whom you can relate.

I don't know if I Love to Hate you, or Hate to Love you...

What I mean by that is your an outstanding author. But I have a problem with you.

I love the plots of your stories and the drama as it's my style as well I am not published here yet but I don't go for the quick fix I feel character development and reality and protagonists make for a great story. but your heroes forgive too easy aka. Fallen Heart. or in this one "Brother" especially given his "gift" even if underdeveloped maybe because they were underdeveloped should have been more upset at the lies and betrayal and abandonment. should have taken longer to get over. It's like watching a season ending cliff hanger without the resolution of the next seasons premier. and just getting the series finale as the next episode aka alls forgiven happy ending the end. it makes me angry that you make worlds that I wish I was apart of and them you are so good at creating High Drama but you leave the recovery from the drama on the editors desk because your movie cant be have an hour longer for a proper wrap up to the drama.

all that said 5 stars as usual just some friendly criticism your stories are great the longer the better.

the tale I mentioned before should have been heart's fall not fallen heart

The vampire bit, I mean. Taboo stories are pretty much all I read. But damn did I read this vampire tale. I was on page eight before I knew it, and was sad that it was over. Loved the story, and the ending. Thank you for writing this well put together tale.

Other than the tenses which annoyed me a lot I loved this story. If it was written in traditional 1st or 3rd person then it would be close to perfect.

Your stories are written in a spectacular fashion and for the angst of taboo I love them. This was, though, a bit different but still amazing.

The only issue I have is the same as one other reader pointed out. The MC forgave way too early. And it is something that is in your other stories too.

The angst and hurt portrayed was amazing but such a hurt should have taken some time to recover form. It is not easy to get over the pain even if it is from someone you love ESPECIALLY if it from someone you love and trust. So it was a bit hard to swallow that part.

The rest was pretty amazing and people to read 8 pages on literotica is saying something about the quality of the story. Though I`m not big on Femdom but rather enjoy Maledom but that is something about my tastes and does not take away from the story. So I gave it 5 stars.

It's hard to follow when you, the author, put you, the sister, and I, the main character, all over the place. Story might be good, but God damn, you suck at writing.

Enjoyed every page!. Love the happy ending and the way things worked out. Well done!

I found this well below the standard set in your other work.

Technically, first class.

However, the use of varied voices and tenses was confusing and unnecessary.

Then, again, the unrealistic theme of Vampires lacks credulity - sort of Grownups Kids Stuff.

Thank you for showing another side of your considerable creativity.

I enjoy a nice change of pace from more traditional incest stories, I would like to see a revised version not in this “letter format” but was not really a deal breaker.

Fantastic and captivating story. I liked the way it was presented via letters.

At one point, I thought it wouldn't be a happy ending, since he was talking about dying before her, and worrying about how she would manage. But hey, you ended it all on a very happy note!

I particularly liked the "How adorable" statement in the sentence "On seeing me she felt a wash of relief. How adorable." on the final page. Two words that subtly conveyed the switch from him being purely an empath to his new form as a vampire. Two words, that held a great deal of malice. Between that and the reference to "la petite mort", you ended this story on a very high note!

I enjoyed all your writing but why do the females in each of the stories bite their lips, make them different.

Wasted 2 hours reading this

Wasted 2 hours reading this

After reading a few of your stories now, this story was totally Unexpected that’s for sure. Though I’m not really into Vampire stories etc the storyline held me to the end..⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

You story was a great story! Don't take this wrong but your characters are believable..the story not so much but October is coming. Please keep on writing!!!!

Skilled writing and character development, imaginative story telling. After all the time spent on his angst and torture, I do think he forgave too quickly. I’ve noticed most of your male characters are weak in comparison to the females, which makes me wonder why such strong women would even be attracted to sniveling weaklings. The women generally don’t seem to pay a price for their treachery. All in all, still a 5* story.

I think some people forget that he was writing the story as if it was a letter to his sister.

Although I am not inclined to such stories I found it impossible to stop at any point but to read on to the end. Not only is this tale moving, enrapturing, suspenseful and very smartly written while also being an easy read, it also is romantic, caring, loving and realistic as much as one can be for this genre. Thank you for sharing your real gift which is to clearly convey your thoughts, imagination, intellect and savvy style of penning an erotic love story which seems most improbable and unlikely. I will take this opportunity to encourage if not plead with you to continue entertaining your loyal readers with more of your gift. Thank you again and please continue your very enjoyable work.

Well done, tis not often that stories causes mine eyes to precipitate.

Thanks for the meal!

-Basement Goblin

I enjoyed. Couldn't stop reading.

Very well written you feel like your in the story with them almost like the story is real and vampires do exist

This is a brilliant piece of storytelling. I was hooked right from the very start with the premise of it being a letter from a brother to a sister (a vampire sister, oops, spoiled by the tags), possibly to be read only after his death.

By the end of the first page I knew I would be reading it in one go, losing a couple hours sleep because I couldn't put it down.

Thanks for the good story, well plotted and well written.

... but damn, it was certainly enjoyable!

Very well written.

My thanks.

WOW!! TOTALLY AWESOME!!!

I am not into the vampire thing at all but I was totally captivated by this story, I was enthralled by the way you did it as a letter to his sister, genius.

I am not into the vampire thing at all but I was totally captivated by this story, I was enthralled by the way you did it as a letter to his sister, genius.

A fantastically beautiful story

As others have said, this isn't my usual fare, but I was totally captivated. You certainly have a great imagination and an enchanting way of transcribing those thoughts into story form. Thank you and keep it up.

Well , I did not expect to be blow. Away do utterly.

Thanks for your hard work !

Style of writing made it awful to read! Could have finished in half that time!

[07.11.22]

Outfuckingstanding!

11/10!!!!!

This is a very well writen storie that took me reading three times to folley unerstain

Vampire lore, big mansions, incest, fucking mind-blowing sex, sweet and comforting love, softcore bondage femdom, fantastic character depth... This one had everything in it and I can't explain how much I enjoyed reading and experiencing all those emotions. Felt horny as heck, cried like a fucking moron when my own fear of abandonment and loneliness hit and felt at peace and comfort at the end. You, my fellow author, are formidable with your words. Never ever stop writing 🤍 Lots of love and power to you amigo...

Is it me or he had/has sex with his daughter as well?

The story was amazing the way it was set great job.

Loved the story - well done!

It's unusual to find diaries written in the 2nd person perspective. Even more so stories as amazingly written as this. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

One question that I never got answered, what was their mother's gift/power? I thought it might have been hinted that it was sone kind of precognition, but I'm not sure...?

This turned out far better than I expected. The style was different from what I'm used to, but it worked. Really well. And the way you kept building the suspense with those small hints of the darkness to come was well done (a common thing I notice in the stories of yours I've read). Kept having feelings of anxiety about whether it would work out in the end. Good job!

A solid five stars, even with the somewhat (in the here own way) distracting typos.

Five stars isn't enough. Excellent work.

Beautiful, just beautiful.

Coming back to read your works after a couple years and started with this. They are soo good. I did notice something I didn't catch on the first pass and that is the mom. I can understand wanting to be with the the vamp daddy after he came back cause she still loved him but by the rules of his House and mc getting kidnapped, it very much feels that the mom just, I don't want to say thrown away, forget or no longer concerned herself with her son. No one kept an eye on him and if he never decided to get turned she'd never see him again. Felt fucked up to me. Also I guess vamps are considered stronger than gods since I assume the grandparents were odin and freya