Unspoken Desires

We had always been inseparable. Our mother even gave us rhyming names, thinking it was cute. Tyler and Skyler.

I was 26 and sitting in my office about to finish up my last work day, organizing a bunch of papers, when I got a call from Tyler.

"Hey, Sky." A smile formed on my face and I blushed a little. I couldn't help it. I loved hearing him say my name.

"Hey."

"Mom's finally putting the old cabin to use. Says it's been too long since the family's gotten together." I glanced at a framed photograph on my desk. In it I stood between mom and Tyler, with our siblings gathered around us. It was 6 years old, taken during the last Christmas I had made it home for. I missed my family terribly, especially Tyler.

"Anyway, she's bringing the others in a few days but wants me to go early to make sure everything's in order," Tyler continued.

"That's actually perfect timing. I was hoping to surprise you guys, but I'm coming home for the summer."

"Your boss is giving you the entire summer off?"

"Well, not exactly. I gave my notice two weeks ago. It was jus time to move on, you know?"

"Well, I'll look forward to having you all summer, Tyler said, making my heart skip a beat. "Anyway, I was hoping you would meet at the cabin later tomorrow morning. I'd be a lot more interesting with you around."

My heart raced, which is how I know I shouldn't have agreed. I should have suggested having our older brother or one of the teenagers join him early instead. You see, as much as I hated to admit it, I had been in love with my own twin brother since we were 18. I knew it was wrong, which is why I never did anything about it. Well, aside from the times I'd cuddle up to him on the couch when we were alone.

But I couldn't turn down a few days alone with him.

"Uh yeah, that's fine. I'll see you soon."

"Can't wait."

My family's cabin was only a five-hour drive from the city I was in living in, and I couldn't wait until the morning. I rushed home, threw some random clothes and basic necessities into a suitcase, and jumped into my car. I spent the five-hour drive telling myself the same thing over and over again. This is your brother, your blood-related brother. Your twin brother. You cannot, under any circumstances, do or even think anything that wouldn't with your other siblings.

It was getting late by the time I pulled up at the cabin. A shiver went down my spine seeing my brother's old worn down truck. I pulled up beside it and grabbed my random luggage from the backseat of my shiny new car.

And then there he was, leaning over the old wobbly wooden railing of the cabin.

Even though we were twins, we didn't look all that much alike. Tyler was a foot taller than me, and he looked more like our mother, whereas I had more resemblance to our father. Ironic, considering it was our father who was tall and our mother who was short like me. But we had the same dirty-blond hair and hazel-brown eyes. And he wore that damn orange sweater, well it was now a few shades lighter because of age. It had been his go to since we were freshman in high school. I used to steal it all the time whenever I was home alone, breathing in his scent.

He smiled at me with that damn irresistible charm, making me weak at knees.

"You weren't supposed to be here until tomorrow," he called out. But something in his tone made me think he hadn't really expected me to only come in the morning.

"You ever going to get rid of this thing?" I asked, kicking the tire of his truck.

"Yeah, at the same time I get rid of this sweater," he replied.

"Oh, so never."

He laughed and ran his fingers through his short hair. I had to look away and remind myself that I was with my brother.

When I looked back, he was walking toward me. And before I had time to react, he was pulling me into a tight hug. It seemed to be a long hug, but I didn't complain. I breathed him in until he pulled away.

"It's great to see you, Sky. I've missed you."

"We talk all the time," I giggled.

"Yeah, but it's not the same. Now, let's get in. It's supposed to rain."

He reached for my luggage, and his hand briefly brushed against mine, making me blush. Thankfully, the darkness of the night hid it.

We walked toward the cabin, and as he stepped inside and I was about to, it started pouring rain. Within seconds, the rain drenched me from head to toe. I let out a girlish squeal and jumped into the cabin. Tyler was laughing at me.

"You always have had rotten luck," he said.

I rolled my eyes and took my luggage back. I headed into the smaller of the two bedrooms and threw my suitcase onto the bottom bunk. There were 4 twin sized beds in here, which might have worked fine when all of 7 of us kids were small, but I couldn't hardly imagine how we would all fit now.

Especially if Ross, our oldest brother, brought along his pregnant wife and their toddler. None of us were small anymore. Andy was 24 and if he brought his girlfriend, that would take up even more room. Billy was 19 and Millie was about to turn 18. They were Irish twins, and so our mother thought it would be cute to rhyme their names too. Even the youngest, Lily, wasn't little anymore as she was now 11.

I changed out of my wet clothes and threw on a white tank top and these striped pink and white pajama shorts. I didn't think anything of it as that's what I always wore to bed at home.

As I entered the living room, Tyler's lips parted slightly as he looked me over once. But he quickly looked away and cleared his throat.

"Mom and the others will be here the day after tomorrow," he said.

I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. When he had said they wouldn't be here for a few days, I had thought he meant more like four or five days.

"Okay," I said as I sat down beside him, a little too close. He didn't say anything, he just wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I fought off an incoming smile.

"Not much to do around here without the family," he said.

I had some ideas, but not ones I should be doing with my brother. I quickly pushed those naughty thoughts to the back of my mind.

"We can just talk," I said.

"We talk every day," he replied.

"Well, do you have any other ideas?" I asked.

He coughed and looked away for a minute. He couldn't mean... no. No way. It was only me who felt this way, he had never seen me more than his sister.

"Why did you quit your job?" he asked.

"Well, the truth is, I didn't really quit. I kind of got fired."

"Oh. Not surprising, you always were such a little troublemaker," he said.

"Hey, now! I'm not the one who set up stolen fireworks and got caught by the cops, or the one who crashed dad's car!"

He chuckled and looked at me his is charming smile. My eyes glanced down at his full lips without my permission. Damn, I wanted to kiss him. I Stopped myself and looked away.

"I was planning on taking you out on that old nature trail dad used to take us on, but with the rain. And it's getting late anyway," he said, glancing at his watch.

"Tomorrow's a new day," I replied.

"Yeah."

We talked late into the night, catching up on each other's lives. And then finally, Tyler got up and stretched.

"Guess I'll turn in," he said.

"Yeah, me too."

We made our way to the second bedroom. I climbed into the closest bed to the door and tucked myself under the warm knitted blanket mom made one year. Tyler climbed in beside him.

"Oh," he said. "I'm so used to us having to share when we're here that I forgot we're alone tonight," he added.

"I don't mind, unless you do."

He shook his head and lied down next to me, pulling the blanket up to his chest. "Reminds me of when we were kids," he said. "When was the last time we were here I can't remember?" he asked.

"The summer after graduation. Our last camping trip. Remember? Mom spent the entire week in tears, going through the photo albums and crying about how her babies were all growing up?"

We both let out a laugh.

"I think she was so worked up about it she forgot to enjoy the trip," Tyler said.

"I do feel bad, never coming home for the holidays," I admitted.

"You were lost, needed to find yourself," Tyler pointed out.

"Yeah."

"And did you?"

"No, not really."

In the morning, we ate uncooked pop tarts for breakfast, got dressed in separate rooms, and headed out to the trail. When we got there, Tyler took my hand and gave it a squeeze. Our father wasn't around anymore, and this trail brought back so many memories of him. I guess Ty sensed that I was feeling a little emotional being back here.

We walked along the trail laughing at our childhood memories. And we came across a small creek. We stood there for a moment thinking about dad, and how he had fallen into the creek one time. And then suddenly, and felt a little shoved and the next thing I know I'm in the creek and Tyler was laughing his ass off at me.

"I'm sorry, I had to. It was too perfect," he said.

I laughed along with him.

He reached out his hand to help me up. I took his hand and yanked it. He lost his balance and fell into the creek. We start laughing hysterically. We looked into each other's eyes and our laughter slowly faded out. My heart started pounding, and I desperately wanted to pull him into me for a kiss.

There was a second where it almost looked like he was leaning in. But then some distant voices interrupted us.

"They're here already?" I asked, not able to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"I don't think so. Mom would have called to let us know they were coming early."

Two adults came into view with a kid who burst into laughter at the sight of us in the creek.

"Are you alright," the woman asked.

"Yeah, we're fine, just some sibling banter," I said as we stood up.

We walked away from the strangers, and, once they were out of sight, our hands found each other. It was really quiet on the way back to the cabin.

We spent the rest of the day talking. You would have thought we'd run out of things to say, but no. And then we climbed into bed, but neither of us could sleep. So we decided to play truth or dare. I picked truth.

"What is your deepest, darkest secret?" He asked.

I looked away. "I can't tell you, I pick dare instead."

"I dare you tell me," he said.

"Ty, I can't. Really, it would destroy our entire family."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah. You know what? I'm exhausted. We should sleep."

We lay down, facing each other. I just stared into his eyes, doing my best to fight off the urge to kiss him. He moved his hand toward me and softly brushed a strand of hair off my cheek.

"You want to know mine?" He asked in a whisper.

"Sure."

"I love you in a way I shouldn't. Your turn."

My heart was racing as the urge grew stronger.

"I can't. It's too dangerous, Ty. It's illegal, and our family would never approve."

"I know. No one can ever find out."

I didn't respond. My feelings for him were so intense they were taking me over and I had to put all of my energy into fighting it.

"Truth or dare," he asked.

"Dare."

"Kiss me."

"I can't."

"You know why you picked dare."

"But-"

He pressed a finger against my lips.

"Shut your mind off. This is the only chance we'll have."

"But- the"

"Give in."

I couldn't resist anymore. I closed my eyes and leaned in. The second our lips connected, this intense shiver took over my entire body, and my mind completely shut off. I placed my hand on his cheek as he ran his fingers through my long hair. We just lay there kissing. His hand found its way under my shirt and moved up my stomach.

And then....

We heard the front door open.

Our eyes snapped open, and we jumped out of the bed.

Our family had arrived early.

And that was it. Nothing more was going to happen tonight.

In the morning, our family decided to do the long trail. Tyler and I hated the trail, because it was three hours of getting eaten alive by bugs. So we stayed behind.

I didn't think anything of it. There was no way in hell anything was going to happen now that our family was here. Right? The risk was too great.

I decided to take a shower as I hadn't taken one since I had gotten here.

I had just rinsed off when Ty barged into the bathroom, locked the door, stripped out of his clothes, and got into the shower with me. I froze, my naked body fully exposed. What on earth was he thinking?

"I'm done waiting," he said.

He pulled me into him and slipped his tongue into my mouth.

At first I didn't do anything. I was just so shocked.

But then my mind shut off again, and I started kissing him back hard, wrapping my hands around his neck. His fell to my ass and gave it a squeeze, making me gasp and kiss him even harder. And then suddenly, I felt him poking into me. I gripped him tighter as our breathing got heavier.

He stopped kissing me and moved his mouth down to my neck, pressing little kisses on my neck, then my chest. I threw my head back and let out a little moan as his lips kissed my nipple.

"mmm, maybe we...mmm, should...god...take this to the bedroom."

"No, too risky," he said.

I thought he had meant having sex with me was too risky. But then he lifted me up, making me giggle. He left the shower, sat down on the toilet seat and lowered me slowly until he had entered me. I gasped and moaned at the pleasure, something I had not felt in a very long time.

I moved my body up and down in slow movements, and we had to be careful not to moan too loudly just incase someone came back.

But the intensity and pleasure soon became overpowering. We went faster and harder until I was almost screaming. My body started to shake violently.

"Oh my god, yes yes yes! Fuck!"

We both released at the same time.

We then just sat there, him still inside me, us catching our breath.

"We can never do this again," I panted.

"Never," he agreed. He leaned forward and kissed me.

"If only you weren't my sister," he said.

"But I am."

"I know."

"I wish I wasn't."

"Me too."

We kissed one final time, slow, savoring every second.