Until Death Does Us Part?

This mature/romance, holiday-themed story features minimal sexual activity and takes a sober look at an issue of our modern times. If this doesn't interest you, please check out some of the many other excellent stories on this site.

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It was a bright, warm summer day when Bill took Estelle for the last time to the Our Home memory care unit. Estelle's dementia had been rapidly deteriorating in the prior ten or so months. Twice during this time Bill had her spend a few days in the unit for 'respite care', meaning he got a break while she was being cared for by the professionals. On this day, however, the plan was for her to permanently reside in the facility.

Estelle's dementia had started some six or seven years previously. Initially she had trouble remembering a few words and then she started to make mistakes with her cooking, something that both baffled and frustrated her. Once she got lost driving home from her sister's place in the next county, Bill gently took the keys away over Estelle's loud and bitter complaints. They had been to several medical specialists and she was tried on the few medications available, all with no success.

Bill had learned a lot of tricks when dealing with his wife's problem. He found out early that it was just easier to agree with her, no matter what she said, than to try and convince her otherwise. He didn't care what she thought as long as he knew the truth to the actual situation. After all, she wouldn't remember the next day what the discussion had been about anyway. He learned to try and distract her if she became obsessed with a bothersome idea or thought. He kept several albums full of photos of their earlier years, vacations and their kids. If she became agitated, he would show her the album and she would spend hours quietly leafing through them.

Eventually his coping strategies no longer worked and he became increasing worn out, both mentally and physically, as her disease progressed. Their two kids came to visit and both gently pushed him to accept the inevitable and have her be moved to a memory care unit. He agreed but kept delaying it for as long as he could. Finally, one night he woke up with her standing over him, holding a kitchen knife and yelling to get out of her bed because her father, who had actually been dead for many years, would be coming home soon. He rolled over quickly and left the room. An hour later he found her in the bed, sound asleep. He slipped the knife from her fingers and decided that the time had come.

With a heavy heart he contacted the facility and arrangements were made to move her in. He took some of her photos, clothes and personal knick-knacks to the home a few days before moving her in so they could have a room set up for her. They had arranged for her to arrive during the morning activity session and suggested he not come back for three or four days to allow her to get used to their routine.

Estelle seemed to adjust very quickly to the memory care unit. Some of the aids started to call her "Miss Essie" which she seemed to enjoy. Bill would drop by two or three times a week to visit and there were times when she appeared to enjoy seeing him and at other times, he felt ignored. The RN reassured him that his wife was doing very well.

Bill found it a bit odd to walk through the unit. At times he wasn't sure who was a visitor and who was a resident. Younger people were usually family members or employees, but older people could have been either residents or spouses. After a few weeks he felt he could recognize most of the residents but more than once he would address someone, believing them to be a visitor, only to get nonsensical gibberish in return.

He found also that different residents had various levels of dementia and different abilities. Some were quite vocal and others seemed to sit quietly all day long. These differences were most apparent during the activity sessions that occurred mid morning and again just before dinner.

By late October he found that just two visits per week seemed to be best for both him and Estelle. If he went more often, she could get agitated and it was fatiguing for him as well. When he received the invitation for a pre-Halloween dinner at the unit, he adjusted his visitation day to be available for that Wednesday.

For the dinner he dressed a bit nicer than his usual jeans and plaid shirt. He had a nice pair of slacks and a dress shirt with a cardigan sweater. He brought a box of his wife's favorite chocolates to give to her to celebrate the holiday. Once at the facility he gave her the chocolates in her room and then walked with her to the dining room. He sat them in the two empty chairs nearest the door and started to help her with the food, cutting the meat for her and helping her with the drinks.

As he was helping her and eating some food himself, he became aware of a woman sitting beside him. He had not seen her before and he noted she seemed to be attending to the older man with her. At one point they glanced at each other and he nodded, smiled and said "Hi" to her. She smiled back and turned to attend to the man with her.

Later he got up to get a cup of coffee just as the woman next to him tried to stand up. They bumped elbows and laughed at bit together before he joked, "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

"Sure, I'll stay here with Dave."

He poured two cups of coffee from the urn, grabbed some creamer and sweetener and turned head back to his seat. As he walked there, he observed the woman. She was very chic with a mid-calf, dark blue dress. There was a loose scarf around her neck and a nice decorative design was pinned over her left chest.

When he got back, he gave her the coffee and acted as if to toast her with his cup. "Happy Halloween," he said.

"Oh, thank you. Not much to be happy about though, is there?"

"Not really, at least not with my wife stuck here. Is this your husband?"

"Yes. Dave's his name." She then turned to her husband and said, "Honey, say 'Hi" to, uh..."

"Bill."

"Honey, say 'Hi' to Bill."

Dave looked at Bill for a few seconds and then slowly said in a soft whisper, "Hi."

Bill greeted him back and then turned to her and asked her name, which was Mary. He then turned to Estelle and introduced her to Mary.

Estelle was a bit more vocal than Dave had been. She launched into a quick, nonsensical talk about the dinner before she seemed to get more confused. She turned back to her plate and resumed eating her apple pie.

"How long has your husband been here?" asked Bill.

"Since May. Your wife?"

"Mid August. I've not seen you before."

"No, my usual days are Wednesday and Saturday. Any more and I get too depressed and I'm not sure that it means that much to Dave anyway."

"That explains it. I'm usually here Monday and Thursday. Today was special because of the dinner."

For the next fifteen minutes or so they chatted briefly about their situations and their spouses. Bill learned that Mary was a retired RN and had three adult children, but none in the community. He told of his life as a community college instructor and told her about his two kids now also living far away.

After the dessert was finished Bill walked Estelle back to her room and laid her down for a nap. As he was just getting ready to leave through the security door Mary came up to the same door ready to leave.

"Well, I'm glad to have met you," he said. "Nice to visit with someone who understands what I'm going through."

"Yes, it is. You know, I have a whole bunch of lady friends, but they seem to have drifted off as Dave's condition deteriorated. Just when I needed a normal adult conversation the most, I found myself increasingly alone."

"Yeah, I've had the same experience. Here at the end Estelle was so paranoid and required so much care that even if someone came by, it was a disaster. Aside of talking to store clerks and the staff here, this is the most I've spoken to anyone in months."

"Yeah, me too."

"Uh, I think I'd like to switch my visit days to match yours. That way we could chat a bit more..."

"OK yeah, that'd nice. I usually am here for lunch and stay to midafternoon. See you Saturday?"

"Sure, see you then."

Over the next few days he did nothing special. He did think about Mary a couple of times and how he looked forward to some real conversation for a change.

It was around noon on Saturday when he went to go to the facility to visit Estelle. He tried to help her with her lunch but she would look at him with puzzled eyes. He would softly remind her of his name and only after a few minutes would she even let him sit with her. After lunch she went down for a nap and Bill was just getting ready to leave when Mary came flying through the door.

"Oh, Bill, I'm so sorry, I had problems with my car, it was towed and I had to take a Lyft here."

"No problem, Mary. Glad you are OK. I've just put Estelle to bed. You go ahead and spend time with Dave and maybe I'll see you maybe next week."

"Yes, I'd like that. Wednesday?"

"Sure, same time, same place. Bye."

"Bye, Bill. See you then," she said as he slipped out the security door.

The following Wednesday they arrived at the same time and chatted a few minutes before going through the security door. At lunch they sat next to each other but spent their time helping their spouses. The head RN came by and spoke briefly with them and was reassuring that the two residents were doing as best as could be expected.

Both of their spouses were obviously tired and ready to go for a nap. After Dave and Estelle had been returned to their rooms Mary and Bill left together. They paused in the foyer next to some comfortable chairs to chat. After they had been standing several minutes Mary sighed and sat down.

"I get so fatigued just being here. You?"

"Yeah, a bit," he responded as he sat across from her. "I'm not nearly so tired as I was a few months ago."

"My fatigue is emotional now. It's killing me to see a brilliant CPA slowly dissolve in front of me. I know he is my husband, but yet, he's not, anymore. Understand?"

"Of course, I do. Estelle was a fantastic woman, a great mother to our kids and a wonderful, loving wife. I miss her so much."

Mary's face reddened a bit and her eyes seemed to fill with tears. "You'd think by now I'd be used to it. Usually I can handle it, but just being able to talk about it, well, that seems to make me puddle up."

"Mary, go ahead, cry if you want to," Bill said as his voice caught and he felt himself tear up as well.

"Would it be too much to ask for a hug? That would help me the most."

"Sure, here," he said as he stood and went to her chair. He knelt down next to her and let her arms wrap around him and placed his around her. She sniffled for a few minutes before she pulled back.

"Thank you. I'd best be going. Saturday?"

"Sure Mary. Are you going to be OK?"

"Yeah, I just needed a little pity party. I'll be fine," she responded as she went out the door leaving Bill behind.

He then looked out the window to see Mary standing at her car bent over and obviously crying. He was torn as what to do and finally went out to the parking lot and approached her again.

"Mary, I'm worried about you."

"No, no, it's OK. I get this way occasionally. I'll go home, cry my eyes out and I'll be much better by morning. Thank you, really, I appreciate your concern."

"OK, drive safe," he responded as he gave her arm a little squeeze and then headed to his car. On the way home he thought about his sad situation also. He had already resigned himself to watching his wife's slow, agonizing deterioration. That didn't mean he couldn't grieve and Mary's crying seemed to bring his grief back as strong as ever. As he drove through the streets towards home tears began to flow freely from his eyes. Once home he had to sit in his car for a few minutes before he could pull himself together to go into his house.

By Saturday both Bill and Mary were feeling better. Mary had her big cry and as she promised, she felt much better the next day. Bill had treated his sorrow with several shots of whiskey and woke the next morning slightly hung over. He had to admit to himself that he could no longer treat his body like that and promised to go easy on the booze in the future.

At the facility they sat together helping their spouses with the meals and both stayed for a little show put on by a local middle school chorus. The residents seemed to really enjoy the music, particularly when classic oldies were sung. Bill and Mary left together after the show and Bill became aware that Mary was walking rather slowly to her car.

"Are you OK, Mary? You're walking kinda slow."

"Actually I am. That cry the other day did me a world of good. I just enjoy talking normally again that I guess I just am dragging my feet to make it last longer."

"Well, you know we could go get a cup of coffee together. Why don't we meet at Starbucks over on 7th Street and chat there?"

"Bill, I'd love to have a coffee. Thank you. See you there."

At the shop they had their coffees and each ordered a gooey cookie. The highlight, however, was just the ability to talk freely about anything and everything. They shared life stories and talked about their kids. They even talked about their spouses when they were healthy and younger.

After nearly two hours Mary glanced at the clock and exclaimed, "Oh, my god, look how late it is. I didn't know that time was flying by so fast."

"Yeah, it sure has. Thank you so much for coming with me today. This has been the highlight of my week."

"Me too. I should run. See you Wednesday?"

"You bet."

For the next few days Bill felt great. Just the ability to talk and share stories meant so much to him. He was so invigorated that he tackled a long-needed cleaning of his work shop and the tool shed. He also went out to the city park each day and took a brisk walk around the lake. On Tuesday he was half way around the lake when he noticed a familiar figure headed his way.

"Mary! Fancy meeting you here!"

"Oh, Hi, Bill. What are you doing? Stalking me?" Mary laughed.

"No, I just decided that I needed to get out more. This mile loop around the lake is a nice way to get back into walking."

"Great. I've been doing this walk now ever since Dave left. I try to get out at least three times a week. Care to join me?"

Bill agreed to join her and turned around to head in her direction. Until they reached their cars they talked about politics, the latest crisis in the Middle East and the city's plan for a new transit system. Bill enjoyed not talking about Estelle and found himself to be relaxing more and more as they walked. Back at the cars they said their 'goodbyes' and just as he went to get in his car Mary ran up to him.

"Bill, would you like to set up a routine time to walk with me. I find that if I plan for it, it is more likely going to happen."

"Uh, well, I guess that would be OK. Before noon or after?"

"Well, since we go to Our Home two days a week, we could plan for late morning on some of the other five days. How about Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays? Say eleven am?"

"Yeah, I could do that. Looking forward to it, actually. See you tomorrow at Our Home and again Friday right here. OK?"

"Good," she replied. "It's a date." Suddenly she went quiet and looked away from him.

"Mary, you OK?" he asked as he lightly put his arm over her shoulder.

"Oh, Bill, that sounded so bad, using the term 'date' with you when I am married."

"Look, don't worry about it. It won't be a romantic 'date,' it'll just be a 'date' on the calendar. OK?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted like I did. Sure, let's plan on it."

The next few weeks were fairly miserable with bad weather. Winter was trying to show itself with freezing rain and snow flurries. The two of them kept their schedule of walks until one day it was particularly nasty. Bill went to the park and waited for half an hour only to realize that Mary was a no-show. He bundled up and did the walk himself being careful not to slip on the slick pavement.

On their next visit to Our Home Mary was apologetic. She had worried about the weather and decided not to go but had no way of contacting Bill. They decided at that point to share their phone numbers to avoid such events in the future.

The facility was putting on a pre-Thanksgiving dinner on the day before the holiday. Families were invited to come and share a meal with their loved ones. Due to the anticipated crowd they would have two servings, one at eleven am and the other at one pm. Bill and Mary were scheduled for the later serving. Bill arrived a few minutes before Mary and was seated with his wife when Mary came in. Due to the crowds she was unable to sit near Bill and Estelle but was across the room with Dave.

Bill admitted, somewhat grumpily to himself, that he missed chatting with Mary, but he attended to his wife and talked with some of the other tablemates. Throughout the meal he would glance over at Mary. She seemed calm and was smiling the whole time. Bill found himself admiring her, her attitude and, quite frankly, her looks. Mary was slightly taller than most women, had a very straight posture and although she was on the thin side, she seemed to still have a nice figure with modest breasts and full hips. She had allowed her hair to grey naturally but it was still full and reached down to her shoulders. Bill never liked older women to dye their hair and appreciated that Mary seemed to accept her maturity better than most. Even Estelle had continued to dye her hair until her dementia got quite bad.

After the meal Bill walked Estelle down to her room and helped her into bed. He was tired also and stretched out beside her and suddenly was sound asleep. A bit later he was wakened by a "Psst" sound from the door.

"Uh, oh, hi. Caught me napping, I see."

"Bill, I'm sorry, but I was sorta worried about you. You never came back to the dining room."

"Yeah, I was so exhausted that I fell right asleep. Thanks for getting me. If I sleep too much in the day, I never get to sleep that night. Are you getting ready to leave?"

"Yes, I'll be going but I wanted to ask you something up front."

They walked over to the security door, let themselves out and at their cars she turned to him.

"Bill, this is a bit, uh, unusual, but I'll just go ahead and ask. Would you like to come over tomorrow for Thanksgiving dinner with me? None of my kids can make it and I just don't want to be alone."

"Uh, sure, that would be nice. I had not planned anything myself. What could I bring?"

"Bring yourself. I don't have a lot to prepare, just a chicken with some fixings, sweet potatoes and beans. It would be more than enough for the two of us. I even have a small, home-baked pie for dessert."

"Wow, sounds nice. At least let me bring a small bottle of wine, OK?"

The next day he arrived at the time requested. It was getting late and the skies were darkening a bit. Her house, once he found it, seemed to be brightly lit. He walked up to the door and presented her with a half bottle of pinot gris and a small box of candy. She smiled as she took the bottle and gave him a tiny little one-armed hug and escorted him into the house.

Her living room was modest in size, tastefully decorated and led to the dining room. She has set the table and two candles burned brightly in the centerpiece.

"Have a seat, I'm almost finished with the meal. Drink?"

"No thanks. I'll have the wine with dinner, but I've promised myself to go easy on alcohol after my last pity party, as you call them."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I found it was very easy to start with one, then two and finally I was getting flat out drunk. Not a good idea when you're an older woman living alone."