Until Death Does Us Part?

"Oh, Bill," she said as she wrapped her arms around him, "I love you, too. You know I do."

It felt so good to have her in his arms, kissing her, stroking her back, loving her. After more cuddling and kissing they drifted off to sleep.

Bill slept the best he had in months, as did Mary. In the morning they got up and had a quick breakfast together before lounging around the house for most of the morning. Mary needed to go home and get changed before going to visit Dave. She was dreading that visit thinking she'd feel like a cheater, but at Our Home she actually helped Dave with his meal, participated with the group activities and kissed him good-bye all without a hint of guilt. Bill's visit with Estelle was equally comfortable. Estelle seemed to be calm and likewise participated in the activities well.

On his way home he dropped by his physician's office and asked for a refill of his old Viagra prescription. He was pleased to find that it was approved as he stood there and was told that it should be ready the following day.

That evening he called Mary and while they chatted, he asked her for a date in three days on the sixth. She accepted but reminded him he was still obligated to meet her at Our Home as well as on their walks in the meantime.

On the evening of the sixth he arrived wearing a nice pair of slacks and a sport coat with no tie. She was casually but at the same time elegantly attired in a nice suit dress that seemed to hug her curves nicely. As she got ready to leave, she asked Bill if she should bring a small suitcase that she had prepared with some personal items, extra clothes and her nightgown. He smiled, kissed her and told her he would be honored for her to spend the night with him again.

They had a nice meal and saw a silly movie. They agreed that most current movies were not very interesting to them at their ages. On the way back to his house she rested her hand on his thigh and stared quietly out the windshield as the wipers flipped left and right.

"Penny for your thoughts," asked Bill.

"Mmm. I'm just getting used to this...us...together. I very much like it. Still feel a bit funny about it, though."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Are you sure you want to come over?"

"Oh, absolutely," she laughed. "You made me realize what I was missing the other night. But still, it feels kinda odd.

"Hey," she went on. "Got anything big planned tonight? Was your trip to the doctor successful?"

"Yup. Once I take it, I'll need about forty-five minutes."

"Good. You can take care of me for forty-five minutes, then it will be your turn," she laughed.

At the house he took his pill and they got ready for bed. He was still amazed at how beautiful she was. Mary had aged beautifully and seemed to carry it well. She had little wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, but her face was otherwise quite smooth. Her breasts were on the small side but seemed to still hold their shape fairly well. The hair was full and her hips were nicely rounded. He reached over to her and brought her into a hug.

"I am so happy here with you tonight," he whispered into her ear. "Do you know what tonight is?"

"No, I don't."

"It's Old Christmas, the twelfth day of Christmas. I'm thinking your loving me is the best present a guy could ask for. Thank you."

"You're welcome and I do love you. I have to admit I didn't even know about Old Christmas. But you're a pretty good present yourself, given your attention to me the other night."

"Come on, Honey, let's go celebrate."

With that they went hand-in-hand to the guest room and quietly closed the door.

-----

That night was the beginning of their new, loving relationship and it was only a few weeks later when they decided to go ahead and live together. They figured that they should be in a new bed in a new house and not in either of their current ones. After reviewing their options, they moved into one of the independent cottages on the Our Home campus. They would not have to worry about lawn care or cleaning and could eat at the assisted living dining room, if they chose. It would also be very convenient for them to visit Estelle and Dave. Their children, particularly the daughters, were very enthusiastic about their decision.

Their spouses died just a few months apart about a year later and Bill and Mary decided to get married and remain in their cottage. Roughly ten years later Mary started to fail quickly and was diagnosed with an aggressive pancreatic cancer. After four weeks of hospice care she died in Bill's arms one cold December night. Two weeks after her funeral Lisa was repeatedly unsuccessful in reaching her father by phone. The Our Home staff was summoned and found him motionless on his reclining chair holding pictures of Estelle and Mary over his chest. No one knew for sure the medical reason why he died but they all agreed he had a broken heart.

A week later their children and many of the grandchildren came back for the second funeral in three weeks. At the cemetery they stood amidst snow flurries as his ashes were placed between those of Estelle and Mary. Above his head was a long, low gravestone with four names on it, side by side, each over its corresponding grave:

Estelle - William - Mary - David

Below was inscribed in smaller print:

Death Has Brought Us Together Again

-----

The issue of sexual activity in the elderly, particularly when spouses are incapacitated, can be quite upsetting to many people. The notion of "until death does us part" was easier years ago when life expectancy was shorter and there were far fewer individuals who lived for long periods of time in vegetative states or with dementia.

Couples may wish to discuss candidly whether they would be comfortable with their spouses/significant others having a sexual relationship under these circumstances. It can be an emotionally charged discussion but it could help prevent anxiety and guilt for the unaffected spouse.