by RipperFish
M'pel E'kmel seems a bit to well versed in the english language and human culture.
My only problem is that I have had a synopsis I've been working on-and-off on for several years, not much done, but has a human crew of several women and and a man having to take to an escape pod during a battle. they end up on an earth like planet. Most of my scenario ideas are about them surviving on the planet and dealing with wild life and possibly alien stone or copper age life.
Others I've plotted out are similar, some are sucked up from our modern age and somehow placed on earth like planets, others have aliens kidnapping humans.
Darn. this author beat me to it by YEARS.
Oh well, I probably wouldn't have ever finished any of them.
In this case, yes, the relationship building, especially with the flirtation, is very enjoyable :)
J
One of the few stories I find hard to stop reading, but I do need to eat and sleep sometime.
warning *** warning will robinson LOL avery good adult version without wimpy smith
love it keep on writing.
paps
Just scrolling and hit the one star...no going back but would have given the story a five, loving it.
There are similarities to the story you mentioned but this is definitely not a carbon copy of that story. Being a writer myself there are several stories I have written, or am working on based on ideas from stories I have read. Hell after I started this series I decided to do one myself. It is on a different site since I don't plan on including descriptive sex scenes in it.
Having said that I made sure to change the plot so it wouldn't come across as a carbon copy myself. The dialogue is excellent and I love the way the Commander gets fun out of teasing him.
Some people have expressed that this work is similar to another. I say, "no" it is not. There are two many differences so ther is no fear of plagurism. I find this story to be refreshingly different, and filled with very good dialogue. That last part is sorely missing in many of these stories. So good job. I give you a five. Sincerely, Payenbrant.
It was a nice combat scene and sex went well.
I did feel like you missed an opportunity. I'm not sure how familiar you are, but I've known a few people who have been through combat and training...and you can't wake them normally. They react defensively without thinking. So I felt when the girl cat woke the sergeant, that his reaction could have worked better to characterize him as a soldier. Just little things like that.
I also noticed some more grammar issues. If you need someone to edit your work, hit me up.
I'm always fascinated by authors who can paint wonderful pictures with just a few words. Your style is clean. If you edit your own writings, my compliments to you on that as well. If not, to your editor.
Keep it up.
Another nice installment that leaves me waiting anxiously for the next part of the story. Please keep them coming!
An enjoyable read, thanks.....I have enjoyed reading Sci Fi for many decades now, however I must admit most are not erotic in nature. Regards.
Your writing is excellent. The plot is interesting and the grammar, sentence structure, etc. are all good, much better than many posters. The characters are engrossing and well developed. REALLY GOOD.