by Bun79
I agree w/ bmunchausen 03/29/11, this is a lovely vignette, short but not rushed, & complete.
In my opinion, the storyline was masterfully crafted. The story is believable, realistic; it is a composite of meny true events. Last but not least, it is perfect for jack-off purposes.
Love your thought processes, but take more time to build up the imagery for the reader. Also, think about how something would play out in real life. Your story of two guys having three hands in your clothing, groping all over your body is a bit of a stretch. The more real the possibility, while pushing the limits, the better the story. Keep working at it.
Short, sweet, sexy, erotic...
The story was well written, & has literary qualities.
A good jack-off literature too.
If i were the heroine's husband or boyfriend & she told me everything, I WOULD TELL HER THAT I LOVE HER & THAT NOTHING HAS CHANGED BETWEEN US (except that anal will be on the menu foing forward).
Wish I had ticket for this lovely ticket to ride.finger up those arse was a good way to put it.Don't know what station she got off at, mybe at Redfern.
Put it in there for all of us, Your fans say this was a too short read but I took my time with it...allways.
Hold hands to walk off, ad the best Finnish.
Piece now GFunnk"""
I don't how your heroine managed to withstand it.
That was a special submission.
Will we see you again, I hope?
Great story. I like the inner conflict between her brain and body. Lots of tension. I also like the surprise ending; good twist. I look forward to your future work.
Short and hot. An excellent description of feelings and emotions. Waiting to read more.
I have had several fantasies of having some hot guys play with me in a crowded subway train. A very nice twist at the end. I look forward to reading more from you.
Lovely vignette. I liked it a lot. Short but not rushed and it was complete. I would hope that we see more of your stories.
Great story, especially for your first effort. I cannot WAIT to read more!
Great story, makes we want to catch crowded train after crowded train, great style, well written.
Keep writing
A very hot, sexy story for your first one!! Hope to read many more stories from you!! Keep up the great writing!