V is for Veronica Ch. 05

It's Jon's 21st birthday party, and we're all drinking, except instead of alcohol, it's this truth serum that brings out everyone's inner thoughts. I think it's weird, why isn't there alcohol? But everyone else in the dream says I'm crazy, we always drink this, because what's a dream without a little gaslighting?

In my dream, my friend Mia had been in Egypt collecting special artifacts for an exhibit and she was responsible for the serum. Veronica looks at me drunk, opens her mouth to tell me something true, but I bolt. I open Jonny's garage door and there's Rob changing out of his work clothes into a suit.

He turns to me and when I look at him, I see he's drunk, and I realize I'm drunk too. He advances on me, but the anger in his eyes spooks me and I take a step back. He grabs my collar, slams me against the door and growls, "you're a fucking idiot."

I awaken with a start to a dark room, Rob's cat asleep on my belly. I rub my eyes.

Hmm. That's not exactly how it went down at that party.

What the fuck kind of dream was that?

My phone flashes. The Duolingo owl asks me about my Spanish lessons. It's 1 am. I blink the sleep out of my eyes. Jesus Christ, 1 am?

I sit up abruptly. I wince as I feel the cat's claws dig into me when she jumps off with a cranky yowl.

I slept twelve hours in a row?

I rub my eyes. It's going to be hell going to work tomorrow now that I've completely fucked up my schedule.

I get up and straighten out my stiff legs and the way every bone in my back pops it sounds like a round of applause. I stretch my neck side to side. I slept like a rock.

I open the door to head down to the bathroom, when I notice the light spilling from under Rob's cracked door, and the music playing not so loud that I could hear it, but loud enough for me to know that the date went well. I shake my head with a smile and hit the head.

I pee sitting down, my legs tired. I check my phone and make a mental note of all the shit I have going on this week, both at home and at work, and when I cross that with all the hormones and attitude in the house I'm already tired again.

Maybe I should move in with Rob.

Space. All around I need space.

Honestly, I think I'd have to leave the country for the amount of space I need right now.

I shiver, flush, and debate going home. I decide against it, in favor of the relative peace of Rob's crib.

When I step out into the hallway, the small strip of light from under Rob's door isn't so small anymore. Dim light spills into his dark hallway and just as I'm about to slip past his door, I hear it.

A strained strangled cry filled with so much lust my dick twitches a little.

Oh, shit. I have to pass his room to get to where I'm at. And my keys and shoes are there, too, so I can't even leave instead.

The grunts and pants are rhythmic along with the slapping sound of skin on skin. I swallow hard and look around as though there's something that can help me.

Hey, relax. Don't be a dick. I just have to man up and walk by.

I hear Rob's arresting chuckle, and a soft, "I told you you'd like it."

The other man moans and lets out a breathy yes. I am damn near panicking.

And I'm getting hard like an idiot. I edge closer to the door and peer just the tiniest amount around the corner. Their backs are to the door. Thank God. I creep quietly past the door, watching them carefully so I don't get caught.

But I hesitate.

I linger and chance a look. This twink of a man is bent over on hands and knees with Rob in his ass. Rob's sack is heavy and low and swinging and this guy is mewling his own erection bobbing up and down, beaded with precum.

I should go. I got past the door. What the fuck am I doing?

Rob props one leg up on the bed for leverage and dude drops his face into the pillows so he can hold his cheeks apart wide. I can see Rob slow and in this new position I see he's halfway out and adding more lube.

"You think you can take all of it?" I hear Rob. Yeah, this is my cue to go, I do not want to be a part of this.

"Fuck it feels so good. I'm so full," his guest moans. "Try please."

I need to adjust my pants but I don't dare move or make a sound.

Rob chuckles, and I can see him start working his behemoth cock in this dude's ass little by little. The man is getting louder and trembling as Rob slowly pushes into him.

"Fuck Rob! Fuck!" He whines his moans higher in pitch.

"You need me to stop?" Rob asks.

"Don't you fucking dare."

Rob pushes in the rest of the way and the guy is howling into the pillows. I can see sweat trickling down Rob's spine.

"You've got all of it T," he murmurs.

"Goddamn, goddamn," this T person whimpers. T says something else but I can't make it out.

Rob wriggles his hips and I can see T's cock, swollen and straining, pointing directly at the bed. I'm rooted in place despite my brain screaming for me to go before I get caught. When Rob rolls his hips back and slides almost the whole way out, I bite my lip hard enough to trap the gasp in my throat.

Goddamn, what the hell, Rob? I'm trying to recall that one party years ago where I saw it but I can't bring specifics to mind. I feel like I should have remembered the size of Rob's dick though if it was this fucking big.

I jump on behalf of this dude when Rob slides all the way back in, crashing into his ass. T straight up screams. Rob pounds his ass.

"Shut the fuck up, you'll wake up my roommate up," Rob grits but a deep loud moan wrests itself from his throat, and even Rob gets loud.

Rob reaches around and grasps T's erection. T thrashes back on Rob making his hip jerk and spasm as T's ass strangles his dick. I'm holding my breath.

T tries to fuck Rob's hand, globs of precum gleaming on Rob's fingers and Rob swears to high heaven as all of T's movements takes the control away from him and suddenly T's got the reins.

Rob's shaking and moaning as T thrusts forward into his hand and backward onto his cock. He regains himself and just fucking goes. T screams so loud, Rob turns his head back to look at the door in concern...and sucks in a breath when he realizes his door's open.

Our eyes meet.

It feels like everything slows down in a sense, and I can feel the memory of this very moment being etched on my brain forever; branded with a hot iron. There we are, me standing outside his room with my hands clamped over my mouth wide eyed, my own cock straining against my jeans and Rob, head turned with his dick stuffed in some guy and a look of complete shock and horror written across his face.

"FUCK!" Rob bellows, his head whipping back, back curving and legs shaking as he cums violently into T. He slams into him, his whole body stiff like he was struck by lightning and in his grip T wails, ropes of cum surging from his cock to splatter against the bed frame, mattress, and floor.

Rob's cat rolls onto her back opening the door even wider and I disappear into Jonny's old room as fast as I can and lock the door.

Hawaii is far, I think, laying back on the bed gripping my pounding head. As in the one on my neck.

Yeah, Hawaii's far, but is it far enough? I don't know that it is.

At this point I think the moon is too close.

***

In the morning, I'm alone in the apartment. No awkward text, no note. In fact the apartment is spotless to the point that I wonder if it even happened at all. Part of me is tempted to look in Rob's room, but why?

The nameless cat rubs against my legs purring. I look down at her.

"This is your fault," I frown. I scratch her head anyway. She rolls onto her back baring her soft belly.

It's a trap, I know this. She makes it look like she wants it but she'll take a fucking finger if you go for it.

Feels like a metaphor.

I make the bed, grab my shit and Rob's spare key, locking the door behind me.

I shoot him a text.

Me: locking up the crib

Rob: Tx

Rob: keep the key, mi casa es su casa

Me: hey uh

Rob: shhhh no

I blink and laugh.

Me: really

Rob: hush sweet prince shhhhhhhhhhhhh

Me: you dumb as hell

Me: so we cool then

Rob: cool like old school

I shake my head and go home, tired as fuck about my life and fantasizing about Hawaii.

***

After dinner, I sit in the backyard smoking a spliff, listening to some lo-fi beats. I put my phone on DND when I got home, trying to give myself some space; I was worried I'd get all fixated on Vivi, having not heard from her all day. I need to let that rest for my own sake. I'm the one who asked for space.

I did alright though. Played some video games with Devante, cooked with my mom. Not bad. Right now I have it docked on my little speaker box, running through some

playlists.

I prop my feet up on the milk crates from circa the Stone Age, and tap the ash. I debate putting together a fire, it's mild enough. Early spring here is like that.

I close my eyes and listen to the night getting settled in.

"Hey, stranger," comes a familiar soft melodic voice.

I turn around to watch Audra let herself in the side gate. My heart clenches.

Shit, I can't do this today.

"Can I sit with you?" she asks.

I gesture to the rocking chair and she settles in. She draws a long leg up to hug, leaving the other to gently push the ground to rock.

"Want this? Or there's beer in the cooler," I offer, motioning to blue chest by the door.

Audra opts for the beer. We're quiet.

"So what's up?" I ask eventually, curious about her visit.

"I was nowhere near the area so I thought I'd drop by," she jokes. That gets a chuckle out of me.

"I don't know. Is it crazy to say I miss you?" she laughs faintly. "Because I do. A lot."

I look at her. The flutter in my heart is unwelcome. So is this loneliness. So is the pain.

I don't know what to say, so I say nothing.

"I know, it's hypocritical," she sighs, chewing on her full lip. I watch, remembering the taste. Do I miss it?

Three years is a long time.

She's quiet. I put out the spliff.

The evening breeze shifts her soft beautiful hair. I watch her for a moment then go back to listening to music and watching the stars come out.

"Rakeem?" Audra murmurs.

"Yeah, boo?" I respond and then wince. "Sorry. Old habits."

She shakes her head and laughs, "It's fine. I get it."

I'm not sure I like the tone of her voice. It's concerning. She chews on her lip. I can feel heat coursing through my body but not the sensual kind, the kind when you feel completely out of control in your life.

"I was going to ask if...if you..." she blows out hard. "Rakeem, I think I made a mistake."

My stomach drops. I stare at her.

She bursts into tears, "I want you back."

If I was a praying man, here's where I'd get on my knees, but at the moment I think it's pretty clear that if he ever existed he's long gone by now.

"Please, I'm sorry," she weeps. "I can't see my life without you in it."

Yeah. Even the moon ain't far enough.