All Comments on 'Vanessa's Story'

Nice! I hope you continue it will be interesting to find out what happens to that poor girl!

This writer has a great imagination. The story line is quite brilliant, but the English is, well, not to put too fine a point on it, crap: missing or incorrect punctuation, redundant use of the past perfect tense, repetition of narrative in reported speech, etc. It's a shame because there is an imaginative talent lurking here.

this is one of the best story in the entire website...the writer is very imaginative but pleaseeeeeeeeeee write a follow up to this story i really need to find out what happened to vanessa but she really doesnt deserve any more torture

loved it! would like to read what happens next....perhaps another installment

Please please please....Continue this story!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS STORY. But I would have loved it more if she picked Derek and had a happy ending. But it was good you should make a sequel.

Love this story, would love a sequel even more. Need to know what happens to Vanessa!

I seriously want to like your stories, I really do. Your grammar is horrible though. You bounce around far too much to be able to focus on the story and not your mistakes. The passion with the story is in the beginning as well, and as it goes on, it is almost like you start to get bored with it and that is when I begin to get bored with it as well.

I'm also noticing a stunning retelling of the same sort of situations in most of your stories. Almost like a, "Read one, read them all." Kind of thing. The characters act the same and do the same things in this story as they do in the one you wrote about the Egyptian girl. You should try going to sites that have things like writing prompts that others can critique. It will really help with your grammar, your spelling and learning to better develop your characters.

Well there be more

Is it 'write like a pirate day' and nobody told me? Arrrrrrr....

;D