All Comments on 'Verklärte Nacht'

This is something I would expect to see in a high class magazine. I am in awe of your writing talents. What a spot she's in! You played out all the conflicting emotions beautifully. Five stars, of course.

I felt like a vampire sucking up sensation from this story. Every word was just what and where it needed to be. You are a master writer. Well, a mistress writer. I can honestly say that you exceeded every expectation I had in this story. The horror growing inside her as she lived with that secret every day was agonizing and exquisite as you drew every shred of nuance out. Truly a Hall of Fame story. Thank you.

but the truth has no reason for light as it has its own illumination. TK U MLJ LV NV

This is one of the few authors that I will read without worrying about what the comments are saying. She and Girl on the moon have such a unique way with words. I don't know if it is a woman thing or simply exceptional writing ability, but these two ladies make most of us look like amateurs. Truly wonderful.

I've always dismissed Schoenberg, so it's interesting to revisit his work through your compelling perspective. Sometimes, I must humbly admit, it takes the description of an artist to illuminate the beauty in a subject I've otherwise marginalized and ignored. You possess a rare gift. Thank you for sharing.

# 2

What a finely crafted story! The poem is a great plot device and its recapitulation at the end suggests the answer to the question: Will he accept the child as his own, and accept and forgive her? I think the answer is yes. I know it is. Wonderful story, AS! Five stars are not enough.

As usual in her stories; the man is blind and ignorant and her woman character is manipulative, secretive, and hurtful.

Didn't like it. Gave it 2*s.

Thank you for the effort angiquesophie.

AMerryman

This was classically told in more ways then one by the angina inducing and revered angiqsophie. Once again my fraying, 2nd hand NPR Idiots' Guide to Classical Music come in handy.

We are not worthy.

Full marks ( of course) * * * * *

We are not worthy. There's not much I can say that I haven't already told you. This story belongs in "The New Yorker" or "The Atlantic." It's that good. I hate to disagree with the good sense of A Merryman, but I think this woman was desperately in love, and in a situation with no good choices. I choose to believe love rose above the impossibility of circumstance. Thank you very much. A true masterpiece.

Between you and GITM, the girls swung some big sticks today.

One can feel the emotional energy flowing, the pain, and the hope of forgiveness in t his story. This was the easiest "5" I have ever given. Bravo!

Just reading your words is such a pleasure. Thank you.

During the lead up to today's activities, Randi was raving to me in our private correspondence about the masterpiece you created. She was correct. This isn't a story, this is literature. Thank you for sharing your creative genius.

I wonder how Peter will feel down the road when he sees the child, especially if it is a boy that resembles its biological father. I also wonder if Anne's guilt will be unbearable and lead to an early demise of the marriage.

Boyd Percy

For at least 10 years, I've told anyone who'd listen that AngiqueSophie is the finest wordsmith in Loving Wives. Hands down. Yes, sometimes her stories drive me crazy, but that's part of the art. This beautiful short tale is further proof.

I'm not jealous of many writers here. The literary chops that AngiquesSophie brings to bear (and often GirlInTheMoon as well) makes me green with envy.

Her writing skills and HDK's inimitable seemingly effortless humor are two that I happily bow down before. For me, this was a flawless diamond on a day of many gems.

The combination of reading your story while hearing the tone poem performance is quite the multi-media experience, even though I finished the story a little before Shoenberg did.

Just excellent and the most remarkable thing (if my memory serves me correctly) English is not your native language. You are a truly gifted writer.

Thank you

As I write this the RNCM is just finishing on Youtube. Thank you for suggesting reading while listening it enhanced the experience. Somehow I managed to hear the soulful sounds of the single violin at just the right time.

I was struck by some of the word choices,

fat moon, woeful, dark trees, silver moonlight, two lonesome, vulnerable people walking hand in hand, lost in an awkward, halting conversation.

They exchanged looks, he imagined, that turned from loving to desperate, from hurting to intensely loving again.

Doubt can be dark and damaging. I'm glad you lifted us from the darkness. At least I am hoping they can walk hand in hand forward into the light.

and had found it to mean transfigured, or glorified, rather -- a night turned blissful

After reading your description of the orchestra I had to look closely at my video screen and sure enough the first chair violin player was indeed "a cute Asian girl in a long silk dress, amazingly young for her position."

Although not playing the music I imagined another soulful rendering in my head. Well written, of course, but I believe that a better ending would have been that he knew all along because he was sterile and it didn't matter the father was her previous beau. She was his and they would always be together.

See Ang I have some intelligence and feeling.

boring cuck shit.

Of course there was the artful cleverness in the framework of the story. I also took the author's advice and listened to the music while reading the story.

Nonetheless, it is still an artful background to what is arguably the thematic psychological 'twist', what the story is really about: self-discovery. The realization of a basic cynicism behind the thought "And if he could, could she live with a man like that?"

Now, if she can overcome that ..

Five stars. Absolutely beautiful. This is more than just writing. This is art. So rich with emotion.

Not much tension, just a linear plot with a logic and decent ending. A nice change from the usual melodramatic and unrealistic plots common here.

I like this one the best. I read somewhere that the biggest sexual organ a human has is their brain, something I try to keep in mind when I write. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Your story was one of moral courage to make the right decisions, and it worked, whether the ending turned out happy or sad. Great work.

I find it amusing that so many detractors have whined about the Legends Day stories, but I'm willing to bet you could go back for months and never see the scores or caliber of stories evident yesterday. Thanks again for your work.

Q

And it was just that.

While she should have told him sooner, it’s not like she cheated on hi m with Gus, it happened before they even met.

I'm a little concerned with the implication that she might think less of him if he is accepting, though I'm heartened that she seems to also feel that she doesn't have the right to judge him like that.

....into your body of work, and it was most definitely worth the trip!

Just a titch longer than a flash, but just as succinct and thought-provoking.

Bravo to Anne for speaking the truth, and when I finish the story in my mind, I imagine that Peter will be a bigger/better man than most, and will accept and cherish the child as his own.

Will definitely be dipping into some of your older works. Thanks for a great read and Happy Legends Day!

Simply beautiful. Thank you.

5*

1* and why married so fast, they only knew each other 6 months and had been married how long?

Great storytelling!

You write like a flowing river..... always changing and moving. You story, like a cold river, is a little disturbing and still calming. I will listen to your suggest of listening to this music.

The story itself was sad. Timing is everything it is said.

Thank you

This is a snapshot of a relationship triggered by a century old poem, hopes and fears. That is enough. No former special forces, just two people. What is his decision? Not necessary for the story and leaves it to our imagination.

Thanks!

I always like Angique's postings even though I find some very frustrating and upsetting. This one is a realistic examination of what could actually happen and what would be going through the mind of the woman involved. Unlike some I can see how easily a woman in Ann's position may think it best not to mention this to her husband. She didn't cheat and it could destroy three lives. I wonder what percent of children are not the biological child of a husband and he doesn't know: .5%, 3%?

I think Ann made the right decision in this circumstance because Peter appears to be a man of integrity, understanding and empathy. Plus he loves Ann. There was one sentiment of Ann's that I did not understand enunciated in the following quote from her brain: "Peter could never do that -- 'be that child', forget and forgive, and go on. He would never, would he? And if he could, could she live with a man like that?" This attitude of hers is inexplicable to me and does make me wonder about her. Does it imply that he would not be masculine and macho enough for Ann if he could accept her and her child without being the bio father? I can understand the rest of Ann's emotions but this just seems weird. I too thought the music enhanced the story.

anon.1

Nuff said

Damn. This author can write. A terribly sad analysis of a hopelessly complex situation with no viable moral alternatives. Congratulations.

This is just so tight. Amazing.

The writer writes magnificently. It was 5*s all the way to the... what? No end again?

God, I hate that. It makes me feel like I've been duped into reading something only to have the writer laugh at me and say, "ha, ha, gotcha!"

Another paragraph to end the damn thing would have been appreciated. It would have made me award the writer's skill and work. Unfortunately I don't like to be laughed at.

that she told him for my piece of mind. lol.

I'm not sure how telling him would destroy anything though. They barely have anything. They've been together six months. Basically nothing. A destructive action would be lying to him and building up that pain for him to stumble upon years down the road.

Good stuff though.

That's how it ends? Is the ending not important enough to include? Or is the decision whether or not to tell him the entire point of this story?

It seems that the author tried a little too hard to create highbrowed literature and sacrificed basic storytelling in the process. Of all the LD authors this is the only one I didn't recognize. I'll have to assume that her previous efforts are much more compelling.

A bit more highbrow than my typical reading but an interesting way of putting a modern spin on Dehmel's poem. If you're disappointed with the ending, read the poem. It's all there. Nice work. Thank you. 5*

. . . this was masterful. Listening to Schoenberg's Verklärte Nacht as I read was perfect (I actually own it). Thank you very much for a very unique, sensitive, and moving story. And thanks to all the great authors who have made the last couple of days a real joy to sit around doing nothing but reading . . . and enjoying.

made even stronger by the ending

I think you have outdone yourself this time. A very gifted writer leaves us with questions. Do I read the poem, does it give closing to the story? I think not, the story ends where it ends.

I agree with @swingerjoe...All he said is what I think...This was superbly written, but to achieve that the writer sacrificed the story...3* just for the writing

It may be a "artful" as others have argued, but I think Swingerjoe's on the mark by his/her observations: what is the "point" to this story... what's the point OF the story?

And while we know "not all stories have a point," we also know NO WRITER sets out to write randomly about random stuff without any point.

Telling your audiences, mentally or literarily, you have wittingly or unwittingly put yourself between a rock and a hard place isn't going to appease them.

They want to know "what are you gonna do about it?"

So, again, what's the point here?

That it was bad that she lied to him, in essence, by now telling him, immediately after she put two and two together?

Or that by telling him NOW, after months have transpired and he's already invested so much time, emotion, and resources in preparing to welcome the baby... that THAT would be a bigger issue... especially for HER? He could dump her! Or, as she fantasizes, he could simply fall to his knees and say, "I am a saint, and I shall raise another man as my very own!"

It is NOT believable she thinks the latter's worse than the former; and THAT is indeed what the author says her character here is saying.

Or that there's no point in this or any other story?, and that we could just let our reading and our stories meander aimlessly and just, poop, stop?

Given a length like WAR AND PEACE, I guess you could do a whole bunch of things, tackle different issues, etc... and, as in real life, some may not pan out, either by design or as a result of literary exploration...

But given that a story is told in about 2 pages, as this and many others are, here in Literotica, aimless Buddhist-like meditation === or, as Swingerjoe put it, TRYING TOO HARD TO DO HIGH BROWED LIT in the audience section during some chamber music outing === usually is not the best approach....

The tension felt by the woman was well described, and the story gave the reader insight into what she was going through. Should she reveal it to her fiance or keep the secret? This question is not exactly answered, but the reader has to use his/her imagination. This is a good thing.

You can't take this story at its surface, you have to go quite deep to find what's really moving. The author suggested you listen to the music and read the poem, but there is an incredible challenge even in that preparation. This piece of music is very complex, even to the point it isn't well understood by music scholars. The poem is equally complex, and understanding on one level only opens a door to another. The characters in the story are riding two tides of emotion and thought from the music and the poem, and the life situation implied is only magnifying what they are experiencing. This transfigured night is incredibly dark, and incredibly beautiful.

Schoenberg is much like Coltrane, Monk Hendrix or even an experimenting John Lennon, you may not really hear the music until you've listened, analyzed and played it yourself repeatedly. what's the point? It's a puzzle, and the point is to seek an understanding. This is beyond Literotica, and belongs in a literary magazine.

Legend...yup.

its incomplete, we know shes going to confess. and there is only two options that the husband can take.

A very well written story, with an open end. it leaves room for the readers own imagination. Or for writers to come up with an alternative ending. Anyway, I really appreciated this story.

She already knows this, or she is too stupid to be a mother. There was nothing to hide, but there is now.

A really good plot, told with unneeded profundity and obscurity. Thanks for the effort.

It's like watching someone do sand painting on a light box. You just can't take your eyes off of it and at the end, you're left with that "how the hell did they do that?" feeling! Excellent!

Killian

I've been in awe of Angiquesophie for something like 10 years. Every time I read one of her stories, I wish I could express myself like she does.

But now, I wish I could express myself like nearly every Comment on this story. Geez, I feel intimidated. I'm going back to writing about motorcycles.

rj

and very poetic. In other words, another extraordinary story from a writer of extraordinary talents.

It is brilliantly inspired to have the couple's situation mirror that of Schoenberg's piece and Dehmel's poem. I can understand why some commenters feel the story is "unfinished," but I think we have to imagine what will happen: that is what the author asks of us, in return for the pleasure of enjoying the story.

Beautifully done, as always!

Thanks, ohio

Some comments complain about the ending. I tend to think pretty damn linear all the time so it may be I'm missing something more esoteric but to me the ending is easily known and straightforward.

The story's ending line: "A woman's voice spoke"

The poem: "A woman's voice speaks:

I'm carrying a child, and not yours,

I walk in sin beside you."

She told him.

Why is this in Loving Wife catagory anyway? Yes, she didn't tell him it wasn't his child but she didn't cheat on him. This story needed more fleshing out of their relationship. I absolutely hate when authors leave the story for our own imaginations to finish. If we wanted to use our imagination we wouldn't bother to read the stories!

I appreciated the role of music, and I appreciated the development of the characters and your depiction of their feelings, especially Anne's fears. What you also portrayed quite well, though, is their love for each other. Nicely done.

I'm in awe. You've taken the concepts of love, trust, betrayal, beauty, ugliness to a new level. Wonderfully deep, yet presented with minimalistic complexity. I'll process this for a long time.

Thank you. You've made me better.

Orb

For one, sure a five. I like reading what you write.

Now about this other stuff. I listened to the tune; reminded me of the background music to a silent film, but when it comes to music I'm like U.S. Grant who said he knew two tunes, "Yankee Doodle and the other one".

Read the poem, yeah sure, but so what, but it ain't Keats or Kipling now is it? Think about Keat's love poems or Kipling's "More Deadly that the Male".

Your story was fun and entertaining, and I had a good time, yet all it turned out to be was a lot of female angst, not that that isn't swell. I have lots of women here. I know the tune. My wife plays plays the "fiddle", one daughter actually plays the clarinet and saxophone, and I own, but can't play, a banjo.

The guy was NOT some cuckold. He loved her, he married her and that's that. Men do that. Maybe it would have been easier if she'd told him right away, but it wouldn't have changed his mind. It wouldn't have changed my mind.

They're having a girl right? So he sees the mom, and has a pretty good idea what Eva's going to turn out like. Not too shabby.

Last, yeah it was fun, had a good time, enjoyed it, got it, understood it, but honestly, I'm a farmer.

Thanks though,

Jedd Clampett

What's his response?....?d

Incomplete! Finish the Damn STORY!

Unfortunately your flowery, but vaguely descriptive prose may be "well done," but isn't all that much fun to read.

Get to the point, then finish the damn story.

Twice she thought to herself if she would actally even respect her husband for accepting a child not his. This is worse than misleading him after all sooner or later he would figure it out on his own. Good story.

After being somewhat flummoxed by this story, the picture it painted kept coming back to me. An ambivalent ending to an ambivalent situation is a good way for this to end--leaves it up to me to hash through many possible endings.

While it would have been better if she said something earlier, too much time has gone by, she should just keep the secret now. It's not so much him ACCEPTING another man's child - he doesn't know, and apparently the conception date and the possible conception dates are close enough that the baby plausibly COULD be his.

Very nice, a flash of something that is not that uncommon. I am surprised there is a song with words like that attached. She does seem too cynical about men, and I'd think that once the bloom is off the rose, this relationship will not fare well. Regardless, a nice snippet and moment of time to read. There is no "finish the damn story" needed here.

You nailed it. This short story would be right at home in a magazine. I hope you are submitting your work. Get your stuff out there!

Bravo to the author. Compelling, vibrant story - Wow! Well told.

She speaks to him - I'm presuming to tell him of the likely parentage of the baby. I don't like her - not with her easy comfort in lies and deception. But life is made of choices, and if she's choosing to be honest, then she's making a choice that ... well it doesn't redeem her, but it warrants respect; it shows promise of character. It sure is damn tough to be honest in a circumstance like hers... damned important too.

Bravo to her.

Ultimately, who cares what we think of the characters... they're merely vehicles to convey a story to our minds ... to make us feel, to entertain... well, perhaps the drama of evaluating characters perhaps is part of the entertainment...

Bravo to the author again. Bravo!

IMHO

Literary enough? If you think this is so inferior, then what the f&@* are you doing here reading it?

Oh, I originally came back here to say, “Perhaps it should have been brava” ???

Ive gone to many poetry and plays dude that is about as good as i can say about this.

I have considered making an AV of this wonderful music and the haunting story behind it. It is one of my all time favourite pieces of music. This story by angiquesophie captures the essence of the whole - the music and the poem in a story and an echo of a story, with a story unsaid - and leaving us at the end at the beginning. Very well done indeed.

It's fascinating that there are people mentally bereft enough to consider cuntique's pretense masterful.

Thank you so very much.

No happy ending, no pink over the rainbow.

In my estimation this story was just so much pretentious B.S. I really don’t believe most people come to this site to read about classical music, opera, or bad romance poetry. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few snobs here who will clap their hands and blow air kisses toward the author, but I can’t imagine that there are many. I would give this story two stars, one for effort and one for having the nerve to submit it.

Auch in Deutsch...

thanks for commenting, but shouldn't that be "auf Deutsch"?

The words were lovely, the setting was perfect, the mood was romantic. It was poetry in motion, the words flowed and twisted like the wind, lovely. So the message is crap, its like finding a stripper who dances to classical music, in a strip club that is also a whore house. She looks awesome, your loving it, the music is empowering. Unfortunitly you wake up with a hang over, your $800 poorer, your credit cards are missing, and you think a visit to the clinic is in order.

I always enjoy Angie's work. I do believe I may have missed something. Anne didn't sleep with the jerk after she met Peter. She never cheated on him. I believe Peter and Anne are each overly worried about something that happened before she had a chance to cheat on him. The only cheating she did was not to tell Peter when she found out. This certainly is not bad but I believe many, if not most men would accept this. Of course, maybe I am missing something.

anon.1

toooooo bad, another assnomeous commment, fimish the dam to stop the flow. LOVE slap hapy papy #9

I got here chasing part 2 of story started on YouTube

Great cheating wife mystery with no sex still consider it one of best stories on this site and YouTube

This was good story I enjoyed

I would prefer writer to end it

As princess and doors lion/tiger or beautiful maiden

I always choose based on mood I am in not really trying to see where writer going

So don't do many open endings

In almost 20 (I think) years of coming back to Literotica I've never seen a masterpiece like this. Literature at it's finest. Thank you so much!

I couldn't listen to the music while reading, though. Both are pieces of art in their own right and have to be relished in close communion, but separately.

Side note: It's late in 2019 and I hope to close this year of brutish, trollish, absolutely hateful comments (to several of the best writer's best stories, btw) with a positive one.

This was a very different story whether in LW or Romance, and it was superb.

I listened to the music on YouTube, and it helped, but the story was in the poignant story-telling. I was particularly struck by the quandry -- could she accept a man who was willing to accept being the father of a baby produced by another's sperm. Wow.

I could read many more like these. a 5* because that is all that is allowed.

I am so grateful for experiencing this exquisitely conceived and written piece.

I think it pauses, rather than concludes...so far.

I thought I was nibbling in the dessert tray...

on what became an appetizer.

Dessert first...is not an indictable offense? :+))

It makes sense that, since in the opera, the husband is ok with the baby, and the last few lines of the story are paraphrases of the opera, then Peter too would accept the baby.

Bravo!!!

5-stars & Favorite

Wonderful use of music to develop a story

I don’t care for much of this, very talented, author’s work, but this was very good.

You can’t please all. It appears your are well read.

LOVE. Slap*hapy*papy. #9.

PS. The word is assnomenous

Beautiful transposition of the story developing in the music and in the thoughts of the two lovers. Five stars all the way.

Open?

Door one or two?

Written well!

But?

Seems unfinished, very well written and a different approach taken than most of the others here. 4 stars just on composition

Really good piece. One of the best stories I’ve read on Literotica where a sexual act is not the active storyline but a factor in someone’s life. Makes for a compelling drama you can relate too. Because life is complicated and often messy. It would be nice to know how the story resolved itself, but that might have been anti climactic. Kudos.

great story but why not finish it. there are so many men who accept other men's children as their own, i have 4 and i love them as i love their mother. but too many stories on this site go unfinished. too bad... 3 stars

Beautiful. So elegant. Perfect but cut short.

4/5

Nato_

Pride goeth before the fall. Apt.

Beautifully written, if it had finished it would have been up there with the best on lit.. Sadly with blend it left a sour taste in my mouth.

Wow! Za!

Why write if u can’t finish?

For me the story is finished at the end, from the poem:

A woman’s voice speaks:

I’m carrying a child, and not yours,

I walk in sin beside you.

What else needs to be said at the end of this story?

18 years later the child found 23 and me and the whore hit the curb at sonic speed