Veronica

Then Peter had a thought.

"Can I do a regular one on one booking with you, say once a week?"

"Yeah, sure. Go in and book it up with Margot inside. Just remember though, it's strictly business, I'm not signing up for a love affair."

"Course not. What name do I mention?"

Veronica, Oh shit I shouldn't have said that, my working name is Melanie. You look nice, so can you keep a secret? My real name is Veronica, so keep that strictly between you and me.

And so began their weekly Saturday night date. It started from an hour to an eventual expensive all night event. Along the way Peter got to know a little about Veronica.

She was from a good home and went to an expensive private school. She hated her mother and considered her a bitch. It seems her mother had not had sex with her husband for years and she reckoned her mother had been cheating on him.

Veronica loved her father and was affectionate with him, but used it to get back at her bitch of a mother. Her Mother viciously claimed that something more was happening, effectively driving him away.

Veronica could not forgive her. She managed to finish high school with high marks but they hated each other so much that her mother would not help her with varsity expenses; so Veronica walked out and has not seen her mother since. She is determined to get herself through varsity and here she was.

After hearing all this Peter had an idea. And one night after a relaxed session Peter put it to her.

This period was when AIDS was becoming prevalent and Peter was getting worried for her as well as himself. They were using condoms but he recalled the night of the gang bang which was done without protection and he did not know who or what she was doing outside of Saturday nights.

"What if I were to be your sugar daddy? I will pay your university expenses, a living allowance and I can give you the use of a free flat. Peter had several investment properties. There were a cluster of houses quite near the university where he intended to eventually develop a block of apartments. There was a small outhouse there done up as a bach which was empty at the time. She could live there and they could meet three times a week in the apartment they had already been using.

He said the rules were that they would have to be exclusive however she could have a boyfriend but they would have to be really careful about how that was handled. He wanted her to have a full checkup before they resumed fucking. It would be a strictly commercial arrangement. Veronica stated that anything was permissible but asked that there be no hard BDSM, water sports, and no scat play. She did not like any violence. There would be only Peter, no DPs and no gangbangs. She wanted to get past all that.

Peter readily agreed.

And so began a commercial relationship that lasted right through Veronica's architectural study.

Yes it was commercial, but it was not without affection and tenderness. They would drink wine. If it was overnight there was coffee and breakfast. Sometimes they even celebrated their birthdays. At this stage they would never be seen publically. Veronica had a good singing voice. Ever a Kate bush fan, one night she softly and beautifully sung the full lyrics to "The man With the Child in his eyes" to him. It became Peter's special and enduring private song.

Early on she never had boyfriends. Later when she had, she never really talked about them to Peter but he was aware of them in the background. She tried to hide her relationship with Peter to her first boyfriend but that ended in tears. Another boyfriend actually beat her over the issue. Peter insisted she go to the police.

After getting her degree she obtained a job and their commercial relationship ended. They did keep in touch since she continued to live in the flat. Three years later she registered as an architect. About that time she ended a long term relationship she had with a fellow architect.

About then, she met Peter for coffee. He had an idea for a spec house he wanted Veronica to design. When she arrived she appeared very down and eventually broke down in tears. It appeared she wanted a baby but she did not think her relationship with her boyfriend was strong enough to go through that with him and she broke off their relationship.

She kept looking at Peter as she was telling him all this. This ignited a repressed desire with Peter and he began to get a little nervous. Finally she blurted it out. "Peter would you give me a baby?" Peter's heart took a gigantic leap. She continued," It would be strictly business of course." Peter's heart deflated.

Her look turned to one of longing. Those beautiful blue eyes began an internal struggle in Peter that he would become privately afflicted with. It would turn unrequited love on its head. Peter would become for the first time utterly and romantically in love with someone who he could not afford to admit this too.

It went without question that there is nothing in the world he would want but a baby by Veronica, but he felt he could not show that to her. He began a business like blather of, "Yes this could be possible but the legal ramifications are this....". " Then the financial implications are that..." and in the end he blurted "I have a condition in that I be made godfather."

Veronica replied "I am not religious."

"Shit."

Veronica looked at his hurt expression

"Maybe we could make something up."

From there they rekindled their sexual relationship, only this time it would be quite different. Where it was just sex before, this time it was a loving relationship. Before Veronica had taught Peter just what a girl likes. This time armed with this knowledge he was giving her his most attentive and undivided attention. He was tempted to add the romantic touches he yearned to do. They were met with a swift rebuttal. "This is strictly business Mister, keep your lover boy stuff for someone else, I just want your sperm."

This most cruel statement would cut him right down. A couple of such statements had caused him to deflate and become depressed. This did not go unnoticed by Veronica but she was resolute and to Peter, his word was his word and he unhappily did not take it further.

But they did have happy times as Veronica became pregnant. They became more public and would go to shows and clubs, have dinner .Once or twice they ran into her friends and he was her uncle although nobody ever believed it. Likewise she would be his niece.

One memorable day they were just spending sometime at her flat listening to her music. Veronica loved Prince and talking heads and had Peter up teaching him to dance to Princes' 'Kiss'. "Hey you have great rhythm," she said getting him to synchronize and follow her dance moves. I think I am going to take you out some place". And they did get out dancing a few times.

His clothing choices became dictated by her. Suddenly he was artier and less staid and professional. They would visit exhibitions and he fit right in with her social set.

That was until the baby was born and as agreed, they split. Making it worse, it was a clean break. For some god awful reason, Peter was not allowed to know either the sex or the name of the baby and the godfather intention was ignored.

It was another heart break for Peter but as always his word was his word. He was in anguish to why he had agreed to all this. He somehow denied his true feelings. It was like it was self-punishment. He even began to hate Veronica as though she was doing it deliberately to hurt him. He went back to counselling. In the end he realized that he just simply did it to himself. He cursed himself that he hadn't the balls to pursue her and demonstrate his true feelings.

Then one day when he was taking a regular lunchtime walk through the domain he was spotted by Veronica and her baby. It was about 18 months after the birth. They were having a little picnic on a blanket under a tree. She called out to him. Peter was overjoyed and he could not but help show it. He kissed Veronica on the cheek and swept the toddler up into his arms gushing, "What a beautiful, beautiful baby. Looks just like me."

Veronica herself was giggling and then came the bombshell; "Hey Petey, meet your Daddy"!

It seemed like Big Ben had just chimed in Peters head.

He was stunned. There was a silence as his mouth hung open.

"Peter, are you OK?"

Peter replied, "I have never, never, been more OK in my entire life. You named him after me."

Veronica had obviously been staking Peter out. He was conscious of this and asked, "Do you have any current beaus?"

"I have had a couple since the baby was born?"

"What went wrong?"

"You!"

"What do you mean?"

"It's you, you fucking lump, you spoilt it."

She was tousling his hair as she was saying this.

"But we agreed..."

"You agreed."

"Do you want a proper relationship?"

"What do you think?"

"I am a bit too old."

"Fuck off."

"I want to get some of that romantic crap you always wanted to dish out; then, how about a couple more sprogs like this one?"

Peter could not be more astounded.

One side of him was screaming, 'at last, what I have always wanted.' The other was trying to find out why he had always resisted the idea.

They agreed that they had to take this carefully and not rush. They agreed to start out by dating and made the first event Saturday brunch.

* * * * *

For two days Peter was beside himself in anticipation. His PA at work noticed his mood but he could not bring himself to disclose the event. Then come Friday it all came tumbling down.

His PA came to the door saying, "A woman here to see you."

"Who?"

His PA turned to the Woman

"What did you say..?"

Then the Woman pushed through the PA to the door. It was Jane; frumpy Jane. Jane dressed in a hoody and baggy track pants wearing worn sneakers.

"What in the name of...?"

"Surprised to see me?"

"Why?"

"I am back in Godzone. I thought I would bring the kids back to meet their father. "

"Are you staying?"

"That's the intention."

"Why did you leave?"

"I fell in love with someone."

"Have they come back with you?"

"Gone.... in the mists of time."

"So are you married, is your husband with you?"

"I don't have husbands."

"Oh. Are you saying you are a lesbian?"

"That's right."

"So why have you come to see me?"

"I thought we might rekindle something?"

"What, are you reverting back?"

"Let's say I'm bi. I don't have a current and I thought you might like to reacquaint yourself with your family."

"Do you imagine we could be happy families again?"

"We could try."

Peter was totally confused. Upstanding person he was, he felt obliged to see this through. What was going on? What should his moral obligations be? They were divorced but does he have feelings still for her? There was the memory.

"Ok, we shall see. Would you like to meet on Saturday? His heart sank as he realized he would have to put Veronica and Petey off.

The phone call was painful. Veronica knew next to nothing about Jane and thought this was the end.

Jane had been in Australia all this time. This was her first trip back and the first for Desiree and Tommy.

The y agreed they would all meet on the waterfront at Midday and find a café down there.

Saturday was a burning hot summers day as Peter waited for his family. They were late and finally arrived at 1:30. By this time Peter was sweating and felt overdressed. He spotted them as they crossed the pedestrian crossing. Desiree and Tommy were both blonde like their mother. Neither look like me thought Peter unkindly. Jane was in the same track suit. Tommy was in Jeans and tee shirt. Desiree couldn't have been dressed tartier for a young girl if she tried, with shorts so brief and tight that they attracted a succession of eyes as she minced down the street.

"Meet your Dad, Peter ", said Jane. "He is really rich and lives in a big house which we might be able to move into." Peter was openly taken aback by the blatant intro. He was even more taken aback by Tommy's reply.

"He looks like a fuckin' nob to me," he said in a broad Ocka accent. The retort from Desiree pushed Peter into the discomfort zone. "You're a nob yourself, you creep Tommy. He looks pretty sexy to me." Then she gave Peter a look that should never come from a young girl; especially to her father. "Oh I think we should all cool down. Where would you like to eat," Peter said through gritted teeth.

And they ended up in a burger joint. It was a first for Peter in a very long time.

He trailed along behind them as they entered. He was thinking how the hell they could have given a daughter of theirs an awful name like that one.

As the lunchtime discussion carried on it became obvious that Jane had fallen on hard times and was looking for a way out. The kids were with the wrong crowd. Jane saw some hope in coming back to New Zealand and though there was little hope in getting back together Jane thought that they could come to some arrangement. When the two brats went for another drink Jane leaned over and said she could offer some interesting sex as an inducement.

"With your Lezzo friends...?" Peter sneered unkindly.

Peter continued, "Look, you obviously were not committed to our relationship, I could not possibly trust you again and there is certainly little respect by you for me. You know that your little stunt killed my Mother. When you took our kids away, her life collapsed and she had a heart attack on the very day you left.

I was devastated at the loss of our kids. I had no support and contemplated suicide. These kids you bring back... I cannot comprehend as being the two that left. I have no feeling for them; in fact they annoy the shit out of me."

Jane was gaping at Peter. Not knowing what to say.

"Furthermore, I am engaged to a woman who has my baby and we are shortly to get married." Now most of this was a lie but it was what he wanted and his heart felt heavy knowing that he had probably fucked it all up. Or actually Jane had fucked it up.

But Peter had an idea.

"I will consider how I might help you but it would be only if my fiancée agreed. She may have her conditions."

Jane did not like that, saying she would go back to Aussie if she could afford it, Peter muttered, "I could probably help with that too."

Anyway, he agreed at the very least that he would pay for a week in a motel while he sorted something out but he needed to talk to Veronica first.

They sat silent for a while; the kids had yet to return.

Peter then opened up about his long standing guilt. "I realize that you never asked for any child support and I never paid any. Although as a family we are really no longer suited they are still my children. I am considering helping them financially on an on-going basis; with certain provisions of course.

One will be anonymity; I don't want anyone blackmailing me to finance their drug habit," Peter was blunt.

Jane was a little taken aback, "I don't know, I didn't know what to expect. This was never about blackmail or anything. I was desperate."

"Ok, but there will be a lot to talk about. In the light of your past behavior it would have to be all tied up legally. At this stage there are no promises but all going well, while you are here, we can work something out."

Peter was thoughtful for a second. The revelation of her lesbianism came back to him," By the way, you ....my Mother, were you in a relationship?"

There was a simple reply, "Yes."

Then it all came together. The hypocrisy of his mother, perhaps; but it was the times.

He pondered the shame his mother must have felt in hiding her real self. She must have constantly been making a deal with her God to be who she was.

Peter didn't want to know any more. The mere word 'yes' was closure for him. He was now a man of the world; enough to know what lay behind so many of the mysteries of his upbringing.

He was not repelled by the knowledge of their relationship and in a weird way it confirmed his decision to help Jane and the kids. He felt the urge to please his dead Mother, something he was never able to do while he was alive.

His Mother would have hated Veronica. To her Veronica would have been the ultimate slut. But Peter knew his Mother's secret now, how could she object?

* * * * *

The next fly in the ointment was that Veronica would not return his calls.

She no longer lived at the address she once had. He did not know where she was living at all.

Finally he started working through all the architectural practices. He did not have initial success.

He had to try most of the practices in Auckland until he found someone who knew her. Veronica was in a small practice down south in Napier. As it turned out she had only been visiting when they had met in the Domain.

At That point Peter felt he had to act urgently. He decided he would visit her directly. He flew down to Napier and rang the practice from a hotel nearby. She refused to take the call not realizing he was five minutes down the road.

He left the hotel, finding the very architectural looking office where she worked; he barged in startling the receptionist who looked at him shocked.

"Where is Veronica?" Demanded Peter.

"In there, with Russell," pointing at an interview room, "But no! You can't go in."

Ignoring her, he burst through the door

He was confronted with a tall muscular and handsome dark haired guy standing concentrating with a pensive look on his face while below Veronica was sitting facing him.

As Peter entered it became apparent what they were doing.

"Nice model," Peter smiled.

"I love a minimalist erection. Nice curvature on the roof and properly proportioned to boot," was the reply. Her voice was still as low and husky as the night they met.

There was an architectural model and a small display stand between them.

The rush in had left Peter breathless and at this point he was breathing hard but managed, "I guess you must be the architect."

"Yes, I have always had designer's eyes."

"Well shall we get married then?"

"Get down on your fucking knees, lover boy and ask my boss here if he'll let you have me. I want your romance."

During all this her boss Russell, was stunned speechless and was standing like a possum caught in headlights.

Peter turned to Russell.

"Can you do the Champagne? I have to nip out and get the ring."