Vibrations

Kiss her you fool! My brain screamed at me.

I shook my head and sighed, feeling the familiar rush of emotions she always brought out in me. Loyalty, friendship, a sense of family and protectiveness I felt with no other human on earth... and yes, more than a little love.

I was not however, going to mess up that friendship.

"I missed you Case." I whispered.

She finally wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a big hug. I hugged her back just as hard.

She whispered in my ear, "I missed you Jakey." She added as she pulled back from me, taking my face in her hands, "Your poor little nose..."

I smiled at her, "It was never very little..."

She smiled back at me, and I added, "Don't sweat it, it just has a little more character now."

"You two need to get a room?"

I laughed at Adrianna, interrupting our moment.

Turning to her, I was struck by how much she had grown up in the year since I had seen her. She was taller, and at fourteen, she was starting to transition from kid to woman. She was fuller, stronger. She had mid length blonde hair, and her father's features. That same blonde hair and striking, otherworldly, Nordic blue eyes. She had her mother's athletic body, which was way better for her than if she ended up with her dad's, who tended more towards the plump size.

"How 'bout a hug over here, big bro?" She smiled, holding her arms wide.

She was still tiny compared to my six-foot frame, athletic or not. I wrapped my arms around her neck as she wrapped hers around my body. I was gentler with her than I had been with Casey, but I still hugged her tight.

We broke, and she punched me in the ribs. It was a light punch, a hell of a lot lighter than Alyssa's had been.

It made me wonder a little bit at what about me made women feel the need to punch me...

"Fucking took you long enough to get here!" She yelled.

"Ow..." I muttered rubbing my side.

I smiled at her, "Sorry, kiddo. I came as fast as I could."

Casey laughed at me...

"Mommy?" A tiny voice echoed into the room.

I looked across the room towards the hallway. Aubrey, Casey's little girl was hiding over by the corner, coming out of the hall, peeking around the corner.

"Roo!" Casey admonished. "You're supposed to be in bed!"

I laughed. "Hey, Roo!" I called.

She held her little hand up and waved at me. It was technically a goodbye wave, but it was still cute as hell.

Casey stopped and looked at me, a strange look on her face, something like a mix of anger and fear on her face.

I gave her one of my stunning smiles and pushed past her, walking over to where Roo was hiding. I sat cross-legged in front of her, giving her my biggest, warmest smile. She looked at the floor shyly...

She looked a lot like her mother. Short, bright red hair, cut short. Delicate features.

She held her hands together and shrugged, looking at me through her eyelashes.

I held my hand out to her, "Hello, Roo. How are you?"

She stepped away from me a little.

"Roo!" Casey's voice was like a whip.

I turned back to her, holding my hand out, "It's okay. She doesn't remember me..."

Smiling at Roo again, "Hey Roo, do you remember me?"

She smiled at me, "You're big guy. You talk to my mommy on the phone. That always makes Mommy happy."

I laughed. "Well, I'm big, and I do talk to your mommy on the phone, but I'm not sure how happy I make her."

She moved closer to me, sidling up to me, showing me her side. Finally, she tentatively wrapped her arms around me, giving me the tiniest hug. I wrapped my arms around her lightly, pulling her close but almost making sure I was being exceedingly gentle.

"Thank you Roo." I whispered into the side of her head.

She stepped back from me and shrugged shyly. She whispered, "I'm supposed to be in bed... but I heard voices."

I smiled at her, waggling my eyebrows, "It's okay, she won't be too mad at you."

Casey's voice went up in mock anger. "Oh, you bet I will be!"

Roo screamed playfully, as she ran back for, what I assumed, was her bedroom. Casey chased after her, playfully. Stopping at a room down the hallway, she looked back at me, giving me a shy smile, "Give me a sec to put her back to bed? Before you go?"

I nodded at her, standing up.

Finally, she disappeared into the room.

Turning back to Adrianna, I assessed how worried she was. She looked like she was okay, but she seemed pretty nervous.

I was a little embarrassed, and a little guilty to be holding her up...

I tried to hedge, "Just give us a second. We'll go to the hospital here in a minute?"

She shook her head at me, a look of disappointment on her face, "I talked to dad on the phone. He said we should let mom rest. That when you got here, we should just go home. That we could come in the morning."

My eyes narrowed and I ground my teeth as I felt my frustration grow.

"Well, he can go fuck himself. You have to do what he tells you, I don't. So..." my eyes pierced into her. Right was right, "you coming?"

She went over to the couch, "Definitely." Smiling at me, "You taking the blame on this one?" she asked as she picked up her backback.

I smiled back to her, "Well..." I gave her a half smile, "I'm supposed to be in charge, right?"

Casey came up behind me, laying her hand on my shoulder. "You guys going to the hospital?"

I turned and looked at her. The desire to kiss her welled up inside me again, this time I had to force my eyes away from her...

By looking away, I managed to find some strength. I managed to shove it down, it was hard, but somehow, I managed to do it.

I gulped, "Yeah, you coming?" I asked, looking back at her.

She shook her head, "I can't."

Motioning back down the hallway, she continued, "I mean, I'd love to... I really want to, but I just got Roo to bed, and I have the early shift at the super market in the morning..."

I pulled her close and hugged her one more time. "It's okay. We'll send your love..."

Chapter 5

Re, my pet name for Adrianna, and I rode in my truck on the way to the hospital. It was all the way on the other side of town, so it was a bit of a drive to get there. We lived in one of those towns that was just small enough to only have one hospital, and just big enough for it to take forever to get there when you needed it.

I looked over at Re while she chewed on her thumb nail, her own, private, nervous tick...

She needed to get her mind off of her worries, or at least that was the impression that I got just looking at her. That, in turn, meant I needed to talk to her, get her mind away from her worry...

"Re, why does everyone call Aubrey, Roo?"

She raised an eyebrow at me, her face a mask of shock, "You really don't know?"

I chuckled, "If I knew, I wouldn't ask."

She shook her head at me. "You remember when Roo was born don't you?"

Guilt pounded through me...

Re continued, "Casey was so scared. Mom kept trying to get her to calm down, kept telling her that everything was going to be okay, but she kept freaking out. All she wanted was for you to be there when she had Roo. She just kept on about it and on about it..."

I shook my head sadly. "And I kept telling her I had finals. And promising her that as soon as she went into labor to call me and I would drop everything, finals or no, and I'd come running."

Re smiled at me. "And Casey went into labor, and she called you, and you came running."

I sighed, "And I was too late... A four-hour drive, but still Roo had come before I got there..." Shaking my head I continued, "I thought, stupidly, a four-hour drive is no big deal, who has a baby in four hours?"

Re giggled, "Apparently, Casey managed to pull it off." She shrugged, "And you showed up, her a tired mess, and just beaming that you had finally gotten there. Roo, pillowed on her chest, and in you walk with this giant basket of stuff you had put together for her. Diapers, and baby clothes and stuffed animals for her and the baby. You looked so pitiful. Just running in like you had just ended the world, and ready to throw yourself onto the pyre to appease the gods."

I shook my head, disgusted at how selfish I had been. My friend had just wanted me to be there for her while she went through the scariest moment of her life, and I had come up short... again. I had let her down, again.

"There was one stuffed animal in there, a kangaroo. Casey loved that kangaroo, and she immediately made it Roo's. She used to make sure it was in Roo's crib every night. She used to hold it out to her and parrot, over and over, 'kangaroo!', 'kangaroo!', like she wanted that to be Roo's first word." Re shook her head, "And it was. Freaking crazy Casey, every other mom out there trying to get her kid's first word to be 'mommy', and she's trying to get her kid to say kangaroo..."

I laughed just thinking about it. That just about summed up Casey.

"Turned out it was a giant mistake. Roo carried that goddamn kangaroo everywhere. Only, she couldn't say kangaroo. All she could say was Roo! She would run around and hold that stupid stuffed animal out to everyone and yell, Roo!" She shrugged, "So people started calling her Roo."

I shook my head at her, giving her a quick glance. "How was school this year?"

She shrugged, "Okay, I guess."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "You excited about finally heading to high school?"

She shook her head, "Not really. I mean, I know it will be just school again, but it still feels weird."

"You going out for cheerleading or something?"

She scoffed. "With those bimbos? No way. I'm going out for volleyball, be an honest athlete!" She tried on a smile, beaming proudly, "How about you? How's school going?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I held my pinky out to her. It was our little thing, our deal that we would tell the truth, and what we said was between only us. There were a lot of years between us, but we were still close, and neither of us would dare break the confidence of a pinky promise.

She gave me an, 'are you kidding me?' look and took my pinky in hers.

"Not good." I finally admitted.

She pulled her hand from mine, "Why not?"

I shook my head. "I mean, it's okay. My grades are slipping a bit but not by much, at least probably not enough to worry about. I'm working too many hours, freaked out about money, but most of it is I just feel like I'm wasting my time. Like I'm doing something I'm going to end up hating. I clerk in a law office and more often than not I deal with other attorneys and every time I do they disgust me. I really don't want to end up like that. I don't want to become that kind of person..."

She tilted her head at me, "Stop worrying about that. You'll never be that person. Lawyers get a bad rap a lot of the time. You see the flashy ones, the ones that are out there all the time. The big defense attorneys or the ambulance chasers. It seems to me like a lot of lawyers must just be good, quiet people and because they're quiet, their impact never really gets seen..."

I made a face. "Also, I'm struggling with getting into a law school that I like. Like I said, my grades are slipping a bit, but mostly I'm struggling with the cost."

She nodded, "That sucks."

I shrugged. "It is what it is..."

I held my pinky back out to her, closing our promise and letting her know that we were done with our secrets. She took my finger with her own... giggling gently at my stupidity.

We passed the rest of the trip in small talk, catching up. She babbled on about her boyfriend, which I already knew about from Deb. Dad didn't like him. Not one, teeny, tiny bit.

Not surprising, but I wanted to give her a little bit of credit. The guy, from what I had been told, didn't seem like an absolute bozo, and knowing Adrianna, he was probably a pretty good guy. Now granted, I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but it was still something that now that I was back in town, I was going to take a little time to look into. I was still her big brother, and a good big brother has certain responsibilities.

When we got to the hospital we went straight to the gift shop.

"What are we doing?" Re asked me.

"I'm not showing up empty handed, and neither are you. Pick out some flowers for mom." I told her.

She held up her purse and started to look inside. She grimaced a bit. "I only have like, about twelve dollars..."

I wrapped my arm around her and smiled, "I got it, I'll cover you."

"You sure? I can pay you back..."

I smiled at her, "Yeah, I'm sure. And no, you don't need to pay me back."

We both picked out flowers, and as I was heading to the register I found something that caught my eye...

They had a set of kangaroos. There was a momma kangaroo, and a baby kangaroo. The momma was big, about as big as Casey's torso. The baby was much smaller, and nested into the momma's pouch. They were a set, a bloody expensive set, but a set nonetheless. I looked at Re and raised my eyebrows, holding the kangaroos up, "What do you think?"

She pushed down a smirk, tilting her head, "Case and Roo will love them."

I nodded, "A good thank you gift?"

She chuffed at me, rolling her eyes, "Yeah, sure. You tell yourself whatever you have to..."

I gave her a look that told her to stow it...

We paid and went upstairs. Stopping in at the nurse's station we found which room Deb was in. The nurse also informed us that visiting hours ended in fifteen minutes...

I nodded at Re, "Looks like it will be a short visit."

She shrugged, and I could see that particular brand of worry and excitement that marked how concerned she was start to bleed into her body language, "At least we can see her. At least I can see she's alright."

I wrapped my arm around her as I smiled at her, "She's going to be alright. She's a tough old bird."

We walked to the room together, bursting in, flowers and smiles a plenty.

My dad's face darkened the instant we walked into the room, "Adrianna. I told you your mom needed rest."

My face darkened in return. "It wasn't her call, dad. I decided to come and unless you want her sitting at home alone, she was forced to come along for the ride. If you want to get pissed off at someone, get pissed off at me."

He ground his teeth as Adrianna squealed and ran to her mom.

I chose to ignore him and focus instead on Deb, who was sitting up in the bed. She was a tall woman. Thin, with dark hair and twinkling eyes. She looked tired, but was still beautiful. Well, maybe not beautiful, she wasn't model material, but she was definitely pretty, several classes above my dad's league, for sure. She was the type of woman that went without makeup most times, favoring instead a natural look. Normally that lent a healthy glow to her skin, but tonight it just made her look tired. She was wearing a hospital gown and had one of those little oxygen tube thingies in her nose.

She broke out of Adrianna's hug and held her arm out to me, offering to let me in on it. I held up my flowers, "For you."

She smiled, "They're beautiful Jakey."

I set them down on the stand next to her and let myself be pulled in for a weak hug.

When she pulled away from me she looked at my face with disapproval... "Oh, baby boy, what happened to your nose?"

I smiled, a jolt of pain snapping through my face, "Well, I guess my girlfriend broke up with me..."

Deb laughed, "With a right hook?"

I shook my head, "No, it was a left."

She covered her mouth as she laughed at me...

I sat on the edge of her bed and let her enjoy the moment, figuring it was worth the hit to my pride to give her a moments enjoyment at a time when she could probably really use a pick me up.

She finally broke the silence by saying, "I'm surprised you came, honey."

I pulled away from her and looked at her, "My mom ends up in the hospital, and I come straight home. Them's the rules."

She raised her eyebrows at me, "I thought this was finals week?"

I shook my head at her, "I'm mostly done. I just have to..." my head dropped. "Shit."

Her face wrinkled up, "What?"

I shook my head, looking at the floor, "I was going to say... I just need to turn in a paper on business law... but it's on my laptop, and I just realized that I left my freaking laptop at home..."

My dad snorted.

Thanks for the support, dad... I thought.

She sighed at me. "So, you need to go home."

A thought occurred to me then, "Nope. I saved it on my Dropbox. I'll borrow Casey's computer and I can pull it down and send it to my professor. Crisis averted."

She smiled at me. "What about work? Don't you have to work?"

I shrugged. "Turns out I don't have a job anymore."

"Big surprise..." dad muttered.

Mom gave him a look that clearly told him to shut the fuck up. "What do you mean honey, what happened?"

I smiled at her, "I called my boss and told him you were in the hospital and that I needed a couple days off. He told me if I didn't come in tomorrow I was fired. So, I guess I'm fired."

Deb gave my dad a hard look. I could tell it was one of those preemptive glances that promised him an ass chewing if he opened his mouth and said one more word, "Honey, you shouldn't have done that..."

I kissed my mom on the forehead, "Worth it," I told her, nodding, "for you. I'll find something else. No big deal."

She took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Maybe you should go home. Between school and your job, if you leave now, you can be back in the morning."

"Nope. You're sick. I'm staying until we get this sorted out. It'll be okay." I tried to will conviction and a sense that the topic was not open for debate into my stare.

She put her hand on my face. "I'm going to be okay. Stop worrying about me. You have a life to live, and that needs to be your priority sometimes..."

I gave her an 'are you kidding me?' look. "You passed out mom. You have some sort of lump in your throat. It made you stop breathing. I'm staying until we get this figured out."

She held her neck up, "It's just a small lump. See? And I didn't stop breathing. It just made it hard to breathe and the air getting cut off caused me to pass out."

I raised my eyebrows. I could see the lump, just to the right of her esophagus.

I gave my dad a dark look. "How could you have not noticed this?"

He gritted his teeth at me, narrowing his eyes.

Deb cut me off, "I hid it from him. I had a doctor's appointment later in the week. I didn't want to worry anyone."

My eyes snapped back to her. "How'd that work out?"

My dad growled at me, "Watch your tone with her boy."

I started to snap back to him, a sharp word on my tongue, he had pushed my buttons just about as long as I was going to let him. Deb shut me down, "It was stupid. I shouldn't have hidden it from everyone. Don't start blaming each other. I made a choice and it turned out to be a bad one that's now worrying everyone... and I'm sorry."

She looked at each of us in turn, sighing, "I'm sorry. To all of you, but please, stop passing blame around. I need you all to get along. Please?"

I nodded, "I'm sorry."

Dad stood up, looking at me and Adrianna, "Guys, it was nice of you to come," he started.

I cut him off, "Can I talk to you in the hall for a second?"

His eyes narrowed. "If you want."

"Please don't fight you two..." Deb said. I could hear a touch of sadness in her voice and I knew dad and I must be exhausting. We never had the best of relationships, but since I had been a teenager we had been going at it, bumping heads, pretty much full time. It was worse now, but it had never been very good to begin with. A part of me wanted to say that was because we were so different, that we just saw the world so much differently, but as I got older I realized it was because we were just too much alike. We had our own ways of looking at things, and both of us were too stupid and stubborn to back down. The more one of us pushed, the harder the other pushed back, and it just seemed to create a vicious cycle of one of us constantly escalating our conflict.