All Comments on 'Vicious'

Lovely story. AAAAAA+++++

I like your stories, pretty complete revenge ,short of death, Miss Kitty should be proud.

Can't blame the man for anything he did!

5

Excellent story

5stars

The story is rather silly, such as " Max managed to get phones tapped, bugs planted in homes and offices, and cameras in asshole's apartment." Our MC even tapped the phones of various friends. How does our MC have the resources to do that? Stories that defy reality have no drama and little interest.

Best Revenge Story and what a wake up call from his real friend. 5 Stars ! This is a new Favorite. Thanks !

Glad he retained his vicious side. D

I liked it! I think we all have a vicious side and there are times when it must be heard. Doing it legally, or at least semi-legally, is always best.

Thank you.

Very good story, I enjoyed the ending and being vicious! 5*

Enjoyed it, but the end was too abrupt for me. Would have been interesting to see the ex wife and their friends having to deal with their new world.

Good story. I feel it needs a follow-up but that's just me. Everyone's got the propensity for Viciousness if pushed to far. With some it's better contained than others.

Great story. Would have enjoyed more about the fall out from the meeting at the club but I loved the way he took down all of those that disrespected him.

Not bad but author needs to proofread to keep his characters straight.

Very enjoyable. It was the right measure of revenge without surrendering completely to the dark side.

I would like to see a sequel showing Ryan recovering with the help of Phil, his wife & Dan.

The base idea was awesome, and I'd have loved to read a longer version of it. You spent so much time establishing the MC's tragic backstory, the actual plot after that felt a little rushed.

But you really need to proofread your work before submitting it. There are dozens of sentences missing words, which is kinda surprising, since you barely make any typos. And it's especially annoying if you write a story about a "genius" with an IQ of >160, that then can't formulate proper sentences.

another great story from you! A follow up would be great, like what happens to her jail time and after, a new love for him that actually works stuff like that. perhaps a second chapter to tie it all together?

Really enjoyed this.

Thanks for a good story. Ms. Kitty and the story from until her death was great. We all know that not many stories in this category have happy endings, so I knew where this was headed. I did enjoy the read and will read the rest of your offerings.

Terrible

Great Story!! I loved it..

Good story until the last few paragraphs. Kind of hurried through the end there.

I enjoyed this one but why didn't he have a confrontation with her? They had been together for years. I would want to look her in the eyes and ask her why? Everything else he did was fair enough given how he was treated. 4 stars

B - T - B!

Well, you failed in the first 10 paragraphs.

This sociopath is not anyone I would want any of my children near, married or not.

Assume that my daughter ‘swore vows’ to a guy who turned out to be a serial killer? Should she wait for ‘til death do us part’ (likely hers)?

So while I am sure you tried a redemption arc and made the actions of the bitch extra egregious, being next to this time bomb of a human being has me wince and nod in understanding at her leaving.

Utterly viscous btb. Loved it

5 stars

they deserved it

"Good. Use your agreessive feelings boy

Let the hate flow through you."

Lol.

Had great potential and then just became unbelievably bad bullshit.

The setup was very good, and I liked the revenge, but the ending was too abrupt.

Just a few more paragraphs on how all the backstabbing friends' lives imploded after the confrontation, in addition to an update on Dot being broke and miserable when she finally got out of prison would have wrapped it up nicely.

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Also, after the protagonist's terrible childhood, this needed balancing out with a proper happy ending. The prospect of a blind date with his friend's sister-in-law just wasn't enough to really end this on a positive note.

Good read . 5 stars . You got moxy kiddo

Good short but interesting story. Laughed at the statement that dogs had to worry. Ha!!!! Only part I question is the PI's installing all types of equipment in her lover's house. Since they became divorced, I'm not sure it would be legal. Then, again, as his wife served him, maybe it wasn't needed. 4 stars. Bob

PS for "someother" who questioned how the MC had resources for everything. Probably forgot he's got a good job & moreover, a large trust.

It would have been good if it was at all believable. Aren't there any normal guys being cheated on these days. The ones without buddies in the Rangers, or super duper computer skills, or like this guy. How does an average guy not only know to do these illegal activities but can afford them. Like I said, it was a bridge too far.

Good story but ending too abrupt.

Nice , good story Dot not very smart thinking Ryan would be a push over. Linked how the stolen antiques came back in the end. Thanks for writing 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a story with a long, drawn out exposition that was too over the top, and ultimately a single seen simultaneous climax and resolution. There was basically no pay out and we were given not a single reaction from the ex, be husband or a single friend.

Good story.

but I didn't like the ending.

too short.

If only reality could become as effective as imagination.

I liked this story, a reasonable BTB that made me laugh.

Scores 5/5

Great story! however it needs to be completed.

Great story. Thanks.

Very enjoyable, but ending seemed a bit rushed, could do with a follow on or a story from Dot's side.

Excellent story. Well done.

"Surprisingly, his women were even filthier than he was, in every way." - NOT surprisingly.

\

"came from the overly generous salary that his family's company paid him" - I thought he was fired, how is he getting a salary?

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@someoneother Re: Resources - Um, he's very wealthy.

\

His stunt of approaching the table knowing about the STDs could expose him to charges that he set it up. Even if there's not enough proof to convict him of criminal charges, civil suits only require a preponderance of the evidence for them to sue the pants off him.

Sorry, but it fell flat. More than half the story was a way too long and unnecessarily detailed setup, then the meat of it was rushed. No emotion, not even any depth or real conflict, it was just a clinical report on how he executed his revenge. 3* because it was well written

Other than making all the divorced husbands who feel ‘wronged’ by the system happy, there wasn’t a lot in the story to care about. I’m sure it will score well, because, well mostly all that read these stories are divorced bitter old men looking for validation

I thought the ending could have been lot more vicious, but otherwise, not bad

Payback seemed really minimal.

Such stories as this one draw the reader in, creating understanding and sympathy for the main character, and then some measure of revenge on his enemies. Understanding, too, what his enemies were thinking and why they did what they did. To leave out those details makes the story fall flat, as if the writer had to meet a publishing deadline, and gave it a quick wrap-up. Sure, revenge was meted out, but told in a 'just the facts' manner. Another page is needed, but good story so far.

It would have had no impact on the story but, I would have loved to see and hear some of the reaction from his former friends when he informed them of the STDs from the whores.

Otherwise, entertaining read.

I'm glad he took the Ms Kitty and Dan route. 5*

Very well done !

5 stars for this one, because he did not really let the beast loose, but had some restrained revenge on the predators who victimized him.

Somehow I think Kitty smiled on him for standing up for himself WITHOUT going "nuclear".

5 stars, pretty darn interesting. Not how I expected either, I expected him to be...... well vicious but was remarkably restrained. Got revenge without dirtying himself really, regressing fully back into the person he was before. My only real complaint was the story went by too fast, could have fleshed out the other characters to make Dot and her friend's betrayal all that worse for the reader. Also a expanded ending, maybe even a second chapter exploring Ryan finding healing and real friends. Could even have conflict with the second chapter like Dot trying to go after his money, argue because she didn't know about it she deserves a piece of the pie, maybe tries (and definitely fails) to reconcile with him to save her own butt and get back in the good life, blame everything on her friends and lover. Either way, well written and enjoyable story.

Meh - The narrative flow was "clunky" with too many simple sentences checking off plot points to flow well. 3*

pretty good but i would have enjoyed seeing more of his fury particularly with his ex and her new

hubby..seemed quite unemotional and calculating but no real pain. Sure he hit them in their most

vulnerable place - their pockets..lol 5 stars

You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind and you sure don't mess with Ryan.

Pretty good story.

Good story!!!! Well done!!!

And you don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger..........

I enjoyed the story. The background was needed to establish why "viciousness" was such a prominent part of his character. While all of us have that capability within, it's not our first response when trouble pops up. For him though, I'm reminded of that old adage: "When your only tool is a hammer, every problem quickly begins to resemble a nail."

.

You gave us the background, but there wasn't much about, what I call, the "core" of the story. Y'know, what is this story actually about? Was this about the horrible way he was treated growing up, the "rags to riches" thing, or is it about what happens when, once again, someone he loves and trusts burns him down, bringing out the "viciousness" once thought to be safely buried?

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With his background, why didn't he realize that the truly vicious people in society are the assholes, like his ex-wife, who think themselves entitled to lie, cheat, steal, and abuse, those they consider beneath them? The core of the story was short in comparison to the background portion, the ending abrupt, but I still think it's worthy of 4 strong stars. Thanks for posting.

Miss kitty would approve.

Very well-written. I didn't feel like I had to hold my editor's blue pencil in my teeth as I read. A good BTB story is good for the soul sometimes.

Well tuned in to the psyche of those abused. Without any bragadocio, I say, although only 5'9" and 145lbs. I've often been surprised when those taller and more muscular have backed off after starting up arguing and threatening me. A "friendly" asked why they did that. I told them it was the look of righteous indignation on my face. This scenario took place again this morning at an auto odyssey shop after both the airhead counter girl and the mechanic she called while I was leaving. Spittle flew from his bloodshot eyes as he cursed me and told me to get off his property. I calmly faced him and told him to climb back under the rock in which he lived and drove away. You might realize like me, it wasn't his property, and while 40 years younger than me he figured out it would be bad for him if he raised his hand to this 73 year old man. Tuesday after the holiday I'm going to turn his world upside down with a simple call to corporate.

Hey @someoneother!! Apparently you have reading comprehension problems. Did you not grasp the LARGE trust fund the MC inherited?? With enough money you can get pretty anything done. Perhaps instead of racing through stories so you can make dumb comments you should actually read the stories.

Started out well, then nosedived into a dumpster fire.

Just remember the old saying. “You fuck with the bull, you might get its horns.” 5*.

I'd be his friend

Mostly good, ending was rushed. And if the MC was raised as the story explained, serious betrayal would have invoked the very worst in him, so it was rather soft at the end.

The story had a pretty good build-up, only to fizzle out at the end.

A good story let down by the ending! As mentioned by others, the ending seemed rushed, lacked any real umpf, also lacking in detail and the feelings of the people that had the revenge meted out on! 4*

I fucking loved this story

Regretfully, this collection of words is 2/3 preamble, 10% story, and the rest is just fluff. Please, writer, go back to the drawing board.

Good 'hard' story. Wow... you really had to research your psyche to write this one! Otherwise it's a 'lived' story. I hope then you did the research! Not too, much to say style-wise.... it's good, it's cogent and believable - believable because you built your character (Ryan) to be a sociopath - otherwise it wouldn't have worked.

3 stars - nothing new or unique from this writer

Uh uh! You are twice as nice to people who are nice to you and ten times worse to people who hurt you. You made Ryan a schmuck,

something he would never be. His revenge would have been swift and far more than what you gave him, regardless of Dan. Afterward, he may have had remorse for failing Miss Kitty, but would have overcome it with Phil's and maybe even Dan's help. But he would never be a schmuck.

Awesome

Fucking Dot

A very interesting MC, but the story line was fairly predictable. Writing was pretty good, with only minor errors.

I guess that was the definition of "lowering the boom". Well played.

Good read. Thanks

Especially the first half.

I Just love Stories where the Unaware cuckold gets even in the end with revenge, just so sweet..

Oh, this could have been a great story! Miss Kitty and Dan went too far in their kindness and mercy. It’s good that the MC was taught to not target the innocent. It’s bad that anyone would suggest that he not punish the guilty!

I would have fucked over Dan as well. All the money that the MC paid him over the years, and he’s disloyal at the end?!? Why hesitate to destroy enablers? It can be argued that for the greater good of society, it’s the enablers who deserve the most horrific punishment. Yes, devise revenge on the traitor wife and the man she whored herself to. Then send a message by utterly destroying those who helped them, and those who knew and didn’t tell. When the word gets out that it’s dangerous to support wrong behavior, there will be fewer enablers in the future.

ZK

FD45 wrote:

“This sociopath is not anyone I would want any of my children near, married or not.

Assume that my daughter ‘swore vows’ to a guy who turned out to be a serial killer? Should she wait for ‘til death do us part’ (likely hers)?

So while I am sure you tried a redemption arc and made the actions of the bitch extra egregious, being next to this time bomb of a human being has me wince and nod in understanding at her leaving.“

The MC wasn’t a serial killer. He only responded with violence against those who initiated aggression against him. He wasn’t chaotic, or a ticking time bomb. He protected and provided for those who were good. The only people who are in any danger are those who wrong him. This is EXACTLY who I would want my daughter to marry. After all, I raised her to be both morally and ethically good.

ZK

Surprise ending. I expected viciousness and violence. Well done

Too much narration by Hubby. We-The-Readers only hear Sweetie actually say a word was in the sixth year of their marriage (7 -8 years of knowing each other.) And those words were her rationale to not have Hubby interfere with her date time with her lover/Hubby-to-be! After that, Chymera let her talk a little more but Hubby1 was still the main purveyor of Sweetie's actions. Hard for WTR to get excited with someone with whom we have not ‘interacted,’

There sees to be a risky time lapse between when Hubby1 discovers her antique theft and when law-enforcement recovers them. Perhaps a year or so, enough for Sweetie or her newly diminished-solvent Hubby2 to cash them in.

Just curious, why not consider directing yourself forward?

How sad that in the everyday world the miscreants are so seldom paid back in full. Nonetheless it is a nice fairy tale and well written to boot. 5 stars

Brutal well deserved punishments. And a return to a life better lived with real friends. People never seem to know the difference between weakness and kindness. Hopefully his ex and his ex's group of weasels now have a better understanding.

Good story. I disagree that MC was a bad guy. There was not one inappropriate thing he did after Kitty died. He was an exemplary citizen. He worked although he did not need to. Helped out numerous people anonymously with his money. Was a loyal husband to his cheating wife and then he learns that his wife and people who he helped and who treated him as their friend to his face were making fun of him, stealing from him and using him and belittling him behind his back. I for one think that his response was measured and not strong enough against his sole called friends. He could have destroyed them instead he merely got them infected with a VD because they cheated on their spouses and was nice enough to tell them about it so they could be treated. I would say he would make any person who was not a cheating backstabbing wife a good husband.

anon.1

Damned good storie.

Feels unfinished

Sounds like my kind of guy. 5

Just freaking cold and brutal. This was not the story I was expecting, and as it went along, I was prepared not to like the MC at all. In the end, it became a well-crafted and complete story. Good work.

Cliche city.

Heads up, this story got reposted on YouTube

https://youtu.be/9uD3_Q-r3xM

I heard how thats something a lot of authors aren't cool with. As soon as I heard the name "KItty" I knew something was up.

Also I'm glad I found it since some stories being passed as truth are so horrible I don't see how the guy didn't delete himself.

Great story, if unusual (maybe that's what helps make it great). Could perhaps benefit from a few details to provide examples of how his character evolves. Still 5* though. Thanks.

5 Stars on a good story .

This needs a follow up - Ryan is too interesting a character to let this be a one-off, especially since I seriously doubt Phil's sister-in-law will turn out to be his soulmate.

The man needs to be with a specific type of woman... 'wish the author will give him the happy ending he deserves.

I've already gave a 5⭐ review for this effort, and I'm not taking it back here, but there's one thing I don't really understand in it: in what way did Ryan 'pulled back' on his revenge to Dot's friends?

All of them have STDs now; all of them know that their spouses have cheated on them; very unlikely that any of them will remain married, which will end up ruining them all financially... so exactly how would ANY OTHER REVENGE be more brutal than this!?

Making it sound like the MC restrained himself here was very strange, author - sure, as BTB goes, he didn't nuke them, but they're still all got burned to a crisp!

Good development of the plot but got more and more unrealistic going to the end. The part about knowingly diffusing STDs was too much extreme and evil, if not illegal and dangerous for other innocent people too. The MC had many other ways to get his revenge. So, since a good BTB once in a while is welcomed, it's 4*.

Yeah, the "cheating stories industry" on both YouTube and Amazon are freely mining Literotica, especially dormant accounts, for stories to steal and sell/monetize. Several well-known Literotica writers have found or been told that their work appeared on one of these sites. A plagiarist is about the worst kind of thief there is. I'm surprised a recent story was stolen, which tells me the thief is in a country beyond the Pale, or at least out of reach of the long arm of copyright law.