All Comments on 'Videos Lead to Divorce Pt. 01'

Very good, but I hope any other parts are already written and that we don't have to wait months for the next part.

Well that was pretty emotionless and perfunctory. Didn't hook me

Sorry. No emotional connection to the MC at all.

Looking forward to seeing how Tess handles it.

The plot is interesting but you write like a spasticated turd. You would think after 27 stories you could figure out how to put together a story in a rational way. The story reads like it is textbook or an outline of a story.

you don't need to have subsections in the story such as Mr X to blame diversion therapy My Plan

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" . Think I'll score it when it's finished, although not if all parts are only one page 😒

Could you be any more boring?

... There may actually be a story there, but the way it was told here is so anecdotic, it's kinda impossible to take it all that seriously.

We know so little about any of the players involved here, especially the MC - dude is a literal NPC, a blank page you can insert anyone in. Sure, this should make him easier to be related to by some then, but, IMB, that make him bland as fuck. And we barely no more about the rest of the cast.

Curiosity will probably make read part 2 (don't even know why we need a sequel since this is barely a page long...), but I'm frankly much better writing here. This is more an outline than an actual tale.

so she wasn't ok with it

Good beginning!

4

A bit too abrupt and emotionless. Not bad but with no real background, it's hard to figure out how MC got to the start of the story, so not enough set up and overall, bland. 3 stars

Damm sorta left me on a cliff there! Please hurry up with the second part.

I'm not sure what this is but it isnt any kind of story.........

Dislike these less-than-one-page submissions, particularly when there is no real plot or character development, such as why the wife is cheating or why she made the videos.

Interesting story, different from the run of the mill cheating stories. Feels like it could be real, from a one person perspective. Looking forward to the next chapter.

much to short to be a chapter or of a series

I love the fresh premise of the cheaters mistakenly posting to the cloud. I would like you to interject some clarity on how he had access to her cloud. For example; did they have a joint account or did everything post onto “photos” app they are linked to? The first part of the narrative is written in too simple of sentences, interrupting the flow for the reader. Try taking more time to review and edit paragraphs so instead of 4-5 thoughts/points done in as many sentences do them in a couple. Make sense? I also like you introducing the “why” of the videos. Her phone is the source since he has access, but it seems she isn’t aware it’s recording let alone saving to the cloud. Rounding up to 4*!

You write like a crack addict that has ADHD. You obviously have potential but badly need an editor. Not to mention a ONE page first part! SMH.

Why can't you people just finish the damn story and post it then

What a mess. Bad writing. Guessing English isn’t your first language. Plot is mildly interesting, but this is way too short to break into separate posts. In short, you started my day by pissing me off.

Well, the plot seems interesting, but you jump around between settings, moods, and conclusions as if you had a serious case of ADHD. Please get a proofreader to get rid of those utterly unnecessary typos. Then sit yourself down, figure out where this story is supposed to go, and write it! Don't post half-page stories and then promise the continuation in a future addition. This isn't reddit, for christ's sake.

Seriously, don’t bother. This was nearly unreadable.

one star, one page, not even a full length page is NOT long enough to justify multiple chapters, especially when most authors wait week between postings, and you have an average of 12 days

The Google Photo was a new (to me) discovery device and unneeded advertisement for Google. Hope you got compensated. LOL I was never hooked by any of the characters. The story telling was so monotone and less interesting than a newspaper article about the local gardening happenings. I don’t enjoy the legal planning details of a revenge divorce. The most important paragraph describes that no one wins in a divorce. 1 Star.

Good start. But personally you should have given us a little bit more to hook us for the next installment.

gonna give you 4 stars for an interesting plot line, not for the writing itself and you go off tangent too much and for too long. This was not enough of a story here for a chapter break.

One page!?!?!?! Just finish it and post as a whole

If 2 chapters of 1 page . Just post the whole dam. Thing ya jack hole

There's potential, so I hope it gets better.

Interesting concept but as mentioned before it reads like an outline of a story. Needs to be fleshed out and given some emotion. 3/5

Nothing to see folks, move along. 2*

Pretty boring so far. Part 2 better not be just a single page again. If its so short, just post it as one part. Also why would Tess go scorched earth? I thought she was cool with the affair? Does not make sense at all.

Almost feels like the intro for a story rather than a complete chapter. Poor place to stop.

FTDS

Start

Was surprised this was written by someone who has written other stories. The writing is choppy and yeah, reads like an outline rather than a story. It also telegraphs that the divorce won't be easy, but the damn thing is so short and skimpy we haven't even seen the wife yet. When someone ends a snippet like this at one page, it isn't 'this was great,I can't wait until chapter 2', it is 'this wasn't so great but I guess I will read it to see if it goes anywhere'.

Decent start. Ditch the crying husband, which has risen to the level of an LW meme. If you don't post part 2 in a day or so, consider making your parts longer or publishing them on consecutive days. Whilst we recall our work in excruciating detail, most readers don't retain even the relevant details for more than a day or two.

Has potential.

Sounds like writer unsure on which way to go using readers as sounding boards, not original concept but that said reading readers comments clearly shows that this writer lacks depth, and the ability to write a proper story, to me it read as just notes being written prior to actually writing a story. A bit like a journalist who jots down this to jog their memory.

Quite good

Too short IMO 3 or four pages is more satisfying.

The husband comes off as weak and needy. Apparently the marriage is so shallow and tepid that the cuck can't even tell that his "wife" holds him in complete contempt and disrespect. She is selfish, shallow, arrogant, and deceitful, but the husband thought she was a virtuous faithful woman? Why? Because he "loves" her? Even More reason for the wife wanting to enjoy sex with a real man. No matter what happens the whore will be better off without this clueless deaf dumb and blind poltroon. Thanks for the effort.

Good story idea, but just too much left out of narrative. Where is the cheating bitch supposed to be. Find a lawyer, put all her clothes on the front steps, and change the locks. Plan to blow up Brian’s life with Tess’ help. There is no possibility of reconciliation after what he’s seen and heard.

Don’t much care for the way the story is structured, it’s quite irritating to say the least.

That said l am enjoying the tale it has an air of mystery sufficient foe me to anticipate the next chapter.

Scores 4/5 thus far

So tired of the half baked stories..... finish the story in one sitting or don’t publish.

Enough of the 70s sitcom cliff hanger bullshit. I didn’t enjoy it then and even less now.

The end of this part is very weak - Tess would blow his plan and making the divorce very complex - that is supposed to get us excited about writing a second part that we have to wait for. Really - the second part has to be better than that and we have to wait for it. I probably will not unless it comes very very soon!

What story?? At best this is a preamble.

It did not make sense that he couldn’t figure out where the wife was. She’s on a cruise ship? When? To where? With who?

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In fact, the whole timeline of the events in the videos was confusing. He did not attempt to correlate where she was going, and when, with tne video actions?

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Just too confusing.

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2 **

Nonsense, needed some back story. Felt like the whole story was really rushed. He should be way past the decision to divorce and he should actually be doing something by now...

"Oh drat I think my wife and her lover are playing me for an idiot."

Ya suppose?

He’s discovered a number of videos of his wife cheating, and he’s asking totally irrelevant questions about them, they are evidence for a divorce why the hell is he wondering what to do. That lack of credibility makes the storytelling weak.

Not to mention the name of his wife's lover Brian's wife Tess, becomes his wife's name in the closing lines of the story.