Waiting for Marcus

We got through Christmas and New Year. It was the quietest we had ever experienced and I knew this would be a one-off. It was time to plan for the future and I celebrated the arrival of New Year with Marcus on the phone as we talked into the early hours of the morning.

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As I returned to work, I focused my mind on my projects which were ongoing, and my spare time on supporting Marcus through these next few weeks and months. I knew this would be a difficult period but the end was now in sight and I listened as he described the impossible situation he faced every day.

The hospital was struggling to cope as the second wave of the pandemic had hit hard over the winter. I felt his pain as he described the stress he felt and the constant pressure. Especially for him and his colleagues. I was worried about him as I thought the summer of last year was the worst it could have been, but this was fast becoming a much more difficult time.

We would argue occasionally as his frustrations became clear. I knew it was the stress and I also knew it would not last forever. I had complete faith in him and in our future together.

As Valentine's Day approached, I began thinking of how we could spend it together. He had agreed to take the day off of work and when we talked, he suggested a long walk far away where we could escape our stresses for the day and most importantly, be together. He liked the countryside but travelling was difficult. I thought about the walk along the seafront I had done during the summer with Rebecca and we both thought this would be a good choice. The fresh air and coastal path was beautiful and very relaxing, although the weather could be turbulent, but we would cope with that if it became a problem.

I began to prepare for our outdoor adventure and I liked the excitement of not knowing exactly what was going to happen. Marcus was fairly open minded about our plans, and I knew we would have fun regardless.

As January passed, I became more excited about seeing Marcus, and I thought more about the day. We would meet early, have some lunch and then walk as far as we wished and as far as it took to escape our current lives. I looked forward to hearing about how he was, and I missed him dearly. Of course, there was the closeness and intimacy which I also missed.

My phone calls with Marcus varied from emotional to optimistic about the future at this time, sometimes with arguments, sometimes playful. I never quite knew what to expect but I was with him on this journey and I would accept the lows with the highs we shared together.

We spoke on a cold January evening as we were both preparing for bed. I had spent the day outside and felt energised and refreshed despite everything which was happening. The majority of the time, we would both feel low, but we were both feeling positive on this particular evening as we spoke on the phone.

Marcus had finished a long demanding shift. Tired, he had ended on a positive, with important news about a colleague patient recovering well. Returning home he had eaten a quick meal and went out for a long run. I was amazed at his energy, but impressed, and I asked him how it went.

'Great. I went quite far tonight. It was great to just be outside. I didn't intend to go far, but just sort of...carried on running' he explained.

'Great. You must feel good now?' I asked.

'Yeah it really helped. I need to do this more often. We need to do this together!' he suggested.

'Yikes' I thought in my mind as he explained how he also worked out when he returned home.

'Great. You're getting very fit' I said as I imagined him working out, his big strong arms and shoulders tensing as he lifted weights at home.

'Marcus...' I started

'Louise...' he responded

'I...miss you. I miss you a lot Marcus' I said softly.

'I miss you too, and I can't wait to see you Louise' he said, as we both paused.

I imagined him meeting me on Valentine's Day after all of these months, looking handsome as I walked towards him, our eyes focused intently on each other as we had done so on our first date.

'What do you miss about me?' I asked.

'Everything...but especially your smile and your eyes' he replied.

A smile now worked its way across my face as I said 'I'm smiling now for you Marcus'

He laughed as he added 'You're beautiful Louise and I've kept the photograph of us together you know?'

'No, please remove that. It's an awful photo' I added.

'No chance. I love it' he insisted.

'So...what do you miss about me?' he asked.

'hmm...I miss everything about you. Your gentle nature, your patience, your eyes also.' I said.

'And...' he followed.

'And what...' I asked.

'And what else do you miss?' he teased,

'I miss...your touch...and ok...I miss your body Marcus. It's been so long. I miss laying on your chest as I did that night, and I miss your arm around me' I admitted. He could read my thoughts exactly and there was no hiding.

'I miss your body too, and yes...it has been so long. Too long!' he concurred.

'What are you wearing Marcus?' I asked as my curiosity took over and I started to imagine him laying in his bed.

'I've just showered and I'm in my pyjamas warm in bed now. He replied.

I imagined him in bed all refreshed after his workout and shower and remembered his scent from those nights we had spent together last year. I asked him about Valentine's Day 'What do you want to do Marcus?'.

'I'd like to show you how much I have missed you' he said.

'Please do show me' I replied as I sunk further into naughty thoughts of us becoming intimate once again and our previous love making here in my bed.

We ended the call and I laid in bed as I began to release the tension in my body as I imagined Marcus right now. So much distance between us, but we were both thinking the same sexual thoughts in this moment, and would be able to share these together soon. I began to touch myself as I anticipated our next love making and I realised how my body needed him so desperately.

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The week before Valentine's Day, I had spoken to Marcus and we had confirmed our plans. I was excited but a little nervous as I decided what to wear and had finally narrowed it down to two choices, which would depend on the weather. I was also slightly apprehensive about seeing him after so long but I knew we would relax as soon as we saw each other. I had hoped this would be the start of something new, a corner turned and a bright future ahead of us.

I finished work early on the day before Valentine's Day and cooked dinner. I was ready for a quiet evening as Marcus was working until late. I settled down to relax after dinner thinking of tomorrow as Marcus messaged. He had just finished and was heading home to rest and we would meet in the morning.

Valentine's Day started slowly for me as I woke early and met Marcus later in the morning. He had come to my place before we headed out to lunch and we would go for a long walk afterwards, so I packed some things I would need for our day out.

As Marcus arrived, I had finished getting ready and we welcomed each other as we embraced. It was an incredible feeling after so long apart. We had agreed to allow ourselves this one time to be close now that we were finally permitted to do so and it had taken so long. There would be no restrictions on us today and we were finally free to express our love and affection.

Seeing him again was slightly strange at first, as I had barely seen anyone other than Rebecca for the last few months. Being deprived of him for so long had made seeing him nice but there was a certain awkwardness in the beginning which soon went away once we started connecting.

We first spoke about how we were and I teased Marcus about his socks, which I noticed as he removed his shoes. They were the ones I had bought him for Christmas. He looked great, almost exactly as I had remembered him from our first date, almost a year on. His hair had grown slightly but he was looking healthy and fitter than I had remembered despite the stress he was under.

I treated him to lunch in a nearby restaurant. It was a beautiful day outside. Uncharacteristically warm so we had perhaps worn too many layers. In the restaurant though we were able to relax and talk further. We connected well and I felt a closeness which I had missed as I looked into his eyes and realised how much love I still had for him.

Our afternoon involved a slow and long walk down to the coast, and along the seafront. It continued to feel warm and we were able to reduce our layers of clothing as we walked. We shared our first kiss as we walked down onto the pebble beach. We were holding hands at the time and Marcus had taken me behind some wooden posts. They provided a sense of privacy, as he looked over at me and told me how beautiful I looked. It was the first time he had told me and his words stuck in my mind for the rest of the day.

As I looked up at him, I smiled and thanked him. We stopped walking briefly and both looked into each other's eyes, before he reached down to kiss me as I lifted myself up onto my toes to meet him. We kissed softly at first as he put his hand on the back of my neck. I leant back slightly and put my arms around him as we shared more kisses. Everything paused for that second as we stood kissing on the beautiful pebble beach. I placed my head into his chest as we finished kissing and his hand stroked the back of my head softly as I relaxed into him.

We continued walking for some time and I felt very close to him by now. Walking along the pebble beach, we talked a lot about our lives in this moment and looked back on the past year. I hadn't felt this connection for so long and I described how much time I spent remembering our first date and the few times we had spent together so far.

We walked further along the beach as the sun sank lower in the sky and the light became softer. The reflections on the sea had softened also and the hues intensified on the horizon. The beach was almost empty except for the two of us now, aside from the occasional couple we would encounter.

The view ahead was incredible. Cliff faces projected out as the tide below pulled waves in. The distant sky was golden with a rich blue tone above and behind us. The sun still continued to warm us as we walked towards it.

We climbed up off of the beach and onto the promenade where the street lights had just turned on to illuminate the footpath. It was the same footpath I had taken previously and I knew the way to the gardens which I wanted to show Marcus. Having him by my side felt special and the evening became more romantic as the path curved along the seafront and we held each other's hand as we continued to walk.

We worked our way further along the seafront as the path became quieter and there were very few people now around. As we continued past some stalls facing onto the seafront, we came to the gardens, set back from the main park in front. I suggested we should walk through them and we walked along the side road and entered through an old arch illuminated on both sides.

We walked down the central path. It was very quiet by now as we approached the fountain in the centre. I felt an urge to kiss Marcus so I turned to face him, looked into his eyes and reached up to him. I could feel the small lights in the path either side of us as we embraced. As we did, I noticed a sculpture inside the flower bed in the distance. It was starting to get dark but I could still make out the outline of it amongst the bushes. It was a curious form, almost like a shell and I wanted to explore further.

I suggested to Marcus that we have a closer look and I took his hand as we walked towards it. As we neared, I could read the plaque on its base. It was by a local artist and one of a series of stone sculptures inspired by sea forms. I looked around and could see a few more. We walked towards another one which was buried even deeper inside one of the planters and set back from the main garden area.

We approached the second sculpture which was a lot smaller, and a more vertical form. There were no lights around this one but we could still see the textures of the stone and variation in the natural shades.

Marcus looked up and pointed out what appeared to be the tip of a metal frame. We tried to figure out what it was, but there were trees and bushes surrounding it.

We decided to explore further and discovered a hidden path which led to some steps up to the mysterious structure. The path was covered by some overgrown bushes and had clearly not been used for some time. We moved them carefully out of the way as we walked up. The steps were also covered by vegetation and it took some time to work our way through. Marcus had carried a torch with him. I had no idea why, but it came in very useful at this moment as we carefully climbed the stone steps.

As we arrived at the top of the path, a metal structure stood before us. It was round and hidden by the surrounding trees and bushes. The paint was fresh and the ironwork intricate. I was admiring the detailing of the structure as Marcus took my hand and led me inside. Attached to the metal structure, was a wooden bench which we sat down on.

We sat inside the structure as we looked out through the surrounding trees. There was a small gap where we could view the setting sun and beach below. The sea was flowing in and the soft sunlight was now turning to darkness.

Glancing down, the promenade was illuminated but with few people walking past now. There were some bright lights on some parts of the path. Purple, yellow and red string lights between the old classical street lights. The scene was beautiful and this moment felt so private, an escape away from our lives. Just what we had been hoping for.

I wrapped my scarf around me to keep warm as Marcus responded by putting his arm around me. I moved in closer to him as his arm rested on my shoulder. I felt incredibly safe in that moment with him beside me and the warmth from his body transferred to me as we moved closer together.

We reflected on life, and Marcus opened up about his stress and worries. I could sense he needed my support, so I took his hand as I reassured him.

'I'll listen to you Marcus. Anything you need to talk about. I will listen ok'

'Thank you' he responded as he looked away into the sunset.

'It's been tough. Really tough recently' he added.

'I know it has and I've been worried about you. I care about you so much Marcus' I said as I looked up at him and put my hand onto his face.

'I really wish this wasn't happening. I mean...all those patients dying. It's too much sometimes' he explained.

'We can't cope and it may get worse. We're at breaking point. I'm exhausted some days' he said as he described the situation in the hospital.

I placed my other hand on top of his.

'I think about all of the patients who have died, and are still dying.' It's so difficult he went on to say.

'I'm so sorry Marcus' I said as I looked at him. I noticed tears had slowly developed in his eyes as I put my arms on his shoulders. He looked down. I could see the tears still in his eyes as I reached forward to embrace him. His head rested on my shoulder as we shared some of his pain. Tears filled my eyes too as I thought about the emotions he must be feeling inside.

He held me tight as the tears ran down his cheek and I ran my hand across his back. I promised him I would always be here for him. Seeing him at breaking point like this made me so desperately want to help him and I wished I could offer more.

I held him for a few minutes as he thanked me and brought his head up. Looking into my eyes, he whispered to me 'I love you Louise'.

' I love you too Marcus' I said as I placed my hand onto his cheek.

'Let's be together Louise. Properly. I mean...let's live together. We don't need to worry about not seeing each other. We can support each other and get through this' he suggested.

I was surprised by his suggestion but I won't lie and say I had never thought about it either, but I just wasn't sure of when, or how to raise the idea.

'I would like that' I said as the thought settled in my mind.

'Let's start making plans. I mean there's things to arrange but yeah...I would like that' I added.

We kissed as I wiped the tears from his cheeks and his hands held my face. We kissed slowly after as I felt his lips firmly against mine. I could sense his emotion which I so rarely saw and felt the intensity of this moment. I was glad he could open up to me like this, and we could share this beautiful moment together.

We kissed passionately as our tongues teased each others. The warmth of his tongue felt pleasant against mine and the wetness of his kiss awakened my senses. I ran the back of my fingers over his neck as my mind was consumed by the texture of his skin and beauty of his kiss.

My body turned into his more as I pressed against him. His strong body held firm and I could not resist placing my hand on his knee as we kissed. I loved how secluded and private this now felt. Just the two of us, and I became aware of the cool air and darkness surrounding us, and I paused briefly as I turned to look towards the sea once more. The sun had now almost set and only light reflections were visible on the waves which were gently making their way to shore.

I felt Marcus' lips on my neck as I looked at the view before us. His lips worked their way down my neck and onto my collar. He gently moved my top back as he kissed further along my collarbone. My body tingled as his lips continued back and forth across my skin. It felt incredible to feel him kissing me and I remembered back to the first time we had made love. I had missed his energy so much and I had craved him so badly for so long now.

As my eyes opened and I returned to face Marcus, I asked him to continue kissing me. I ran my fingers through his hair once more. This always felt incredible to me. The texture of his thick hair against my fingers. I pressed my body against his again as I moved my legs slowly on top of his.

I was relaxed by now and I could feel my wetness as we continued exploring each other and his lips and tongue worked their way around my neck. I guided him to what felt nice in that moment, and told him how good his body felt to my touch. I knew this was a special moment which I had looked forward to, but this was completely unplanned and spontaneous which is what made it so special.

Surrounding us was now pure darkness but there was no fear. I knew we were alone and I felt completely safe with Marcus holding me. The only occasional sound being birds making their way from the sea to the gardens, and a few people passing by on the promenade in the distance. We were completely out of sight of anyone and my mind began to fantasise a little, as I whispered in his ear.

'I want you Marcus'.

'You look so beautiful today' he said for the second time today as his hands held my sides. I loved to hear those words from his mouth.

My hands pressed against his chest and I could feel his strong muscular body underneath as I ran my hands over him. His hands were now on my hips as he held me tight. I enjoyed the feeling of his hands on me and I wanted him right there and then. I knew it was private enough. I had never before made love outside, but this was a time for new adventures and to try something new.

My mind had lost control as my body took over.

I took his right hand and placed it inside my jacket on top of my breast. His hand was warm and I loved the feeling of his palm against my nipple. I undid the buttons to my jacket as he caressed my breast. I could see how much he wanted me too, but his touch was always so delicate and I loved how he worshipped my body every time I shared it with him.