All Comments on 'Wanda Bachelor Party Surprise'

The author and characters have been hit in the head too many times. Now they’re both brain dead.

Julie is the nickname for Julio. I am in my Forties and the name is an homage to boxers Julio Ceasar Chavez and Roberto Duran. The guy with girls nickname was from the song "a boy named sue" who was tough enough to pull it off. I am kind of operating under the assumption that most of my readers are following the series so I am not recapping every detail every story. I probably could have done a better job of making the stories easier to follow by title but I didn't so I am just left with what is. maybe when I am done I will rerelease the series with better titling. My profile has the story order.

Excited for what comes next! Also don't get too worried about certain dumbasses who clearly barely read the stories. They're not worth your time. Keep it up!

Thank you for your kind words. I actually I am happy to get any feedback. It is especially helpful if there is a specific thing I could consider. I am looking for the right balance of story that progresses fast enough to keep readers engaged but still is episodic enough that each installment is fun to read. I admit I am way off balance and maybe need to adjust a little bit. The ability to accept and work on flaws is essential to improving. My main goal on Literotica is to hone my erotic encounter writing. My literary hero is Janet Evanovich and she broke in as Romance novelist and now writes one of my favorites Mystery/Humor series The Stephanie Plum series. They made a movie of the first one "One For The Money" with Katherine Heigl It got panned pretty hard but I think that was the media taking sides in the Heigl VS Shonda Rhimes feud going on at the time. It was a major bummer watching my heroes tear each other down. I think ShondaLand is going to change the world in the next couple of years. Negative comments are not a problem and even a nasty flame war has its upsides. I have seen a lot of trainwreck traffic get drawn to subpar posts just to see drama in the comments section. I was actually a little disappointed the poster from "Wanda Tits Out At Last" didn't continue the conversation about race in my work. I'm am not going to get into a gutter war with anyone but the debate might have been interesting. The way the site lets the author control all visible comments really gives authors a major edge against trolling.

You need more dialogue. A lot more. It is more compelling to get a brief glimpse into a character's mind expressed through their own words than to be told exactly what they are thinking through narration, unless you are focusing on dramatic irony.

Some of my stories are more dialog heavy than others. I get I little bit caught up in posting at a steady pace. I am still learning the flow of the format. I usually write in the first-person perspective so being the narrator is new for me. I also have a big fear that my audience is going to tire of my story before I finish it. I'm writing for fun and practice but having an audience that is interested and invested has been a nice experience. I will try to add more dialog going forward. Thank you for the helpful advice. It is great to get solid advice.