All Comments on 'Was I First?'

Cowardly husband wouldn't bother to fight for his wife He doesn't deserve her She got selfish but if they were forced to communicate it could have been resolved Husband deserves to live a loveless short life Pulling their son into the middle of the problem was again cowardly No happiness anywhere just marriage blows up and lawyers get rich

What a pathetic dick.

What the heck was that?

The problem With this story is that the author goes over the same incidence time after time after time after time . Some of these incidences between the wife and the other guy Charlie were mention 3 times in the story.

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While the ending is justified because it is clear that the wife no longer loved her husband.... The husband misses the chance to drive home The one indusputable point..

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FACT The wife had been told by her own kid that her husband is thinking of divorcing her

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FACT The wife is given a comprehensive listing of grievances by the husband.

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FACT Not only did she not go with her husband to the ER but when she had the chance to go home and talk to her husband she decided not to.

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The only conclusion is that the wife no longer loves her husband. Or if she does her definition of love does not work within the confines of a marriage

Well seems like little one lost his ability to actually complete a story??? What happened…ran out of patience or steam to actual lay bring the story to an ending??? As it is half a story …I’ll settle for half the score minus the penalty for eating my time=2

Finish the story please.

Very good story, but I see it unfinished. What happened next? Did she perform with Asshole Charlie during the pending the divorce or after?

If there was no cheating - and I believe Ann - I see it possible for her to successfully fight for her husband.

Poor writing. You jump around to much as if there are 3 or more stories that you are trying to tell. Listing oneself as husband and wife to rent a room with out excuses is the same as a common law marriage, so the husband has a right to assume that she is unfaithful. Her omission of not correcting things as they happen further indicates a slut wife.

Like it but feels incomplete and abrupt.

Is there a part -2?

Like it but feels incomplete and abrupt.

Is there a part -2?

The dialogue was very stilted.

Not a bad effort but not realistic enough.

3*

Ohh wow I feel there is a bit left unsaid. It’s almost like a FTDS, almost. Will there be a second part to this?

Anticlimactic and come on, she was fucking that prick

You won't get a good score because despite the divorce, there is no payoff. No emotional release. That stupid bitch gets what she really wants anyway. I am not a huge fan of btb but Jesus, the resolution was flat as a plate of piss. (I stole that from Jim Cornett)

Needed revenge against Charlie or at least silly bitch quit the act

Well... he's not wrong.

Another overreaction. All fixable. I would guess piano players are a dime a dozen,

Pt2?

Rollie is correct to be upset, but I would like to know if Ann would be willing to cut Charlie out of their life. If so, I don't think divorce was needed.

She slept with him, no question about it. Rollie was way to slow to kick her skank ass to the curb, but he finally got there.

I would like to see a sequel where Ann cuts Charlie out of her life and gets her husband back.

Little one's little story left me massively confused.

Thank you for an involving story as Ann digs herself into a deeper and deeper hole. I suspect that Charlie, by updating Rollie at that lunch, was very much aiming to add fuel to the fire. The way you develop the story, is persuasive because the process was gradual. Ann didn't recognise what was happening as she relegated Rollie to second place - even though she never had sex with Charlie. Personally, I don't think it needs any more - your focus is on what led to the divorce, not what happened afterwards. Thank you for posting it.

This needs some closure.

There is original content to the story and good try. But the story does not hold together. There is no way that a married woman would ever share a room with an unmarried man -- unless they were in a sexual relationship. Wives do not forget birthdays or anniversaries. There is no way that a wife would leave her husband in a hospital alone. Actions do speak louder than words. But that would mean that the wife did not love her husband, which undercuts the apparent point of the story.

The author mentioned, but later ignored, the fact that his wife had a key card from Charlie's room. Why, if she was staying in a room with her husband on this trip? Or is all her vows that she did not have sex with Charlie on other trips a lie, since Charlie even with her husband provided her with free secret access to his room?

The image of Charlie, in general terms, was if not positive, then at least tolerable, right up to the conversation between the son and the mother. Why does the son have so much negativity towards his wife's father, or does he know something more from Charlie's past or present?

Well written with words chosen leading to the conclusion! Need for a part two? No, the bold letters ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS put the final act of their marriage in place. Now - room for a view five years later? I'd read that story in a heartbeat!

Great story. 5*

On this occasion I think there is room for reconciliation. There should be terms that must be met. She should break all contact with Charlie being the main one. She did not have sex with Charlie but she does have some sins to answer but this should lead to them staying together.

A nice story. She was either an idiot or a did not know how to tell the truth. The proof was when he left, she found out and did not go home. She fell in love with the other guy and just did not admit it to herself.

I've enjoyed reading your stories, and was enjoying this one, until it all fell apart for me by the end. Charlie has a lunch with Rollie where he reveals he and Ann have been sharing a cabin together, registering as husband and wife when they travel, and Rollie says NOTHING to Ann?! That is so implausible it makes me wonder if Rollie has brain damage. Ann definitely has her share of fault, but Rollie also contributed to the situation by not mentioning a HUGE thing, which we learn by the end of the story shocked Ann. Then when Ann, granted very late realizes the full impact these things had on Rollie, Rollie gives Ann no opportunity to change the situation and proceeds with divorce. This is one of the most unnecessary divorces in LW. You've definitely written much better.

Just Wow!! Great story reading this train wreck head towards the cliff.

FTDS!

Littleone, I agree with the other commenters at the time of my comment, this needs an ending.

Question one, who set up the bookings and lodging for Charlie and Ann? Would it have cost hat much more for two rooms vs a suit? Was it really that important for a discount to be referred to as Mr. and Mrs Nestle instead of their real names?

Last, are we to believe that Ann was oblivious to what was going on that she couldn't see the impending doom? Was she so blinded by Charlie and fame that she forgot about the time she stayed with Charlie when he was sick, yet told Rollie as his noes bled, 'But we promised Charlie to have breakfast with him at Harps'.

Yes, a follow up is needed.

You make a big point of the husband finding a key to Charlie's room in the wife's luggage, and then this 'key' event never gets mentioned again. Also, in real life, many of the situations that are brought up at the end of the story would have been hashed out between husband and wife shortly after they happened, especially since the husband was already having suspicions. This is a poorly plotted story. One star.

The author strives for stories that aren’t cookie-cutter replicas of existing stories and this story was unusual on several levels. That said, the story didn’t flow well. For example, the mother-son conversation seemed a strange way to introduce all sorts of information that was new to the reader. Moreover, transitions between scenes were not always smooth. I didn’t find the story to be incomplete, but the execution detracted from the central premise.

Your MC has to be the whiniest character on this entire site and that takes a lot considering all the super-heroic, conservative crybabies that populate the stories in the LW-section.

My wife didn't serve my every whim and dared to have a life of her own, so my only option is to divorce her.

Don't you LW-authors ever stop to consider whether your story has at least a tiny little modicum of reality in it? Or are you really so incredibly insecure omega-males (you know, the last letter of the greek alphabet...) that you think this guy is some sort of role model?

I'll have to find a way to travel back in time, so I can unread this story...

For me as a reader, it looks like that at the begging you had one plan on how’s this story would go then in the middle (the hotel scene) you changed your mind and went in another direction without editing the first part to the story line accordingly, like what happened with key card? I mean, you end this story for the wife swearing it all was innocent but once again why she had key card at all and why she hidden it in result? It was a turning point, the breaker of the whole story! If the key card has no meaning here then why you even brought that crucial detail into the picture?

Part 2 is needed to cover all missing plot gaps. imho ofc.

I agree with other comments in that the story just ended with such a cliche of conversation and no real emotions or results. What about Charlie did he receive any retribution for his role? I think there is potential here but there needs to be more to your process of bringing information forward.

Story is finished. She can not take back her many decisions and her words cannot remake reality. His decision stands.

Interesting story. It makes you reflect and wonder: «Were these mistakes worth a divorce? ». I personnally think no. Because we read a lot about his feelings, thoughts. But were there warnings / feedbacks / confrontation ? None. Ultimatum? None. Clear her actions sucked. But he didn’t fight one bit fir what he built. Question: was his marriage first to him too?

Were they slipping Rollie blood thinners to get him out of the way? Thought that was why he didn't eat the breakfast.

The story was good as far as it went. Like others, I felt left hanging with the ending. Part 2 please.

I'm sorry you are getting negative reviews. You may not be Hemingway, but it's a compelling and empathetic story you've told. So, great idea that could stand a bit of enhancement. I liked it overall.

4* Good overall despite the husband being a passive-aggressive wimp. Story feels incomplete. I wanted to give this a 3, but I'm in a good mood today.

I loved it. I liked the 17 different words the son used to describe Charlie, especially Donkeyshit.

I loved it. I liked the 17 different words the son used to describe Charlie, especially Donkeyshit.

TRUTHANDJUSTICE99

So the husband should fight for his wife? How hard would her fight for him have been? Insist on separate rooms, correct the identity of her husband, chose to abandon the job to save her marriage. T&J99, what kind of asshole makes the success of a marriage dependent on one party? If he has to fight for the marriage, shouldn't she have to fight equally hard?

Well, Pooh the naysayers, and the self appointed critics. I liked it. New plot, new type story. 5 star

This feels unfinished. She clearly shared a bed in the hotel rooms.

Why didn’t Rollie mention to her about the lunch with Charlie

when Charlie was intimating that he and Rollie’s wife were intimate while smirking at him.

You do need to write another chapter.

This is a good story but if the loose ends could tied together

it would be a great story.

First of all, very ry.

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We are being told Rollie's story, yet hear NOTHING about the things he told his son until we hear the son tell his mother?

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Her spending Rollie's birthday in Charlie's hospital room defies comprehension. He's getting the best care, her being there does nothing.

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AFTER her son has told her that Charlie told Rollie about their relationship, she allowed him to talk her out of going home to her husband?

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I don't see how registering as husband and wife saves any money.

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"I never once said that you were number two." - She didn't have to, actions speak louder than words.

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The work analogy fails when you consider that earlier, they were dealing with their careers, and careers often require personal sacrifice. What she and Charlie did was a side gig, of no particular importance.

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@Anonymous, the story was complete - they got a divorce.

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@Infosauger, the cheating isn't really at issue, he's not divorcing her for infidelity, he's divorcing her for not putting him first. I don't really see her performing with Charlie because she likely blames him for the end of her marriage, especially if what Rollie said about his conversation with Charlie was true.

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I don't understand all the "incomplete" comments.

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Interesting that when Rollie was getting medical attention, there was no need to rush off to see him, but Charlie getting medical attention required her to blow off her husband's birthday.

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I question whether her interest in new sex acts is purely from conversations. If so, then they are HIGHLY inappropriate, ESPECIALLY in the "boss-employee" relationship she wants to use as an excuse for missing family events.

Not quite finished. A second chapter is in order. Where Charlie is put in his place by everyone including his own daughter. Ann kicks Charlie out of her life and begins to reclaim her marriage. Whether it is too late or not it yet to be seen.

Different approach to this farm of story.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

Didn't the couple come out of retirement to enjoy their second careers? So the argument that she was putting WORK first was not the same as when they were younger and working to support themselves. He was correct, she repeatedly put Charlie first and disregarded her spouse. In effect, she emotionally abandoned the marriage.

Enjoyed the story, thanks for sharing.

One more rant- someone said he didn't FIGHT for his spouse. The only time you should ever have to fight for your spouse is if she is physically attacked. Otherwise, SHE is making willful decisions to the detriment of her spouse! You can't force her to love you, she's free to make her own decisions.

Aw man. You were doing pretty did then took a hatchet to the ending.

Your last quote was not the mic-drop you were aiming for.

Tried to get through it, but couldn’t. Dialogue was stilted and unnatural. Writing was simplistic and dry. It was difficult to feel any emotional conflict the author was trying to describe

Okay I surrender, If I read another line of these two moaning and groaning, I'll stopped reading stories on this site. Both Charlie and her son need to be bent over a barrel and have a belt taken to them A very difficult read, I'm not sure there is a story in this dribble.

If he divorces her, he leaves her for Charlie to pick up. Why not tell her to quit Charlie, and be his assistant? Well, maybe because she's a narcissistic type, and he doesn't want her around him. D

littleOneWon continues to improve as an author.

I was delighted at the appearance of so many human values that resulted from Rollie’s final statement with her. Hackneyed concepts such as fidelity, importance of love before money, importance of family after the child raising phase, fealty to one’s vows.

Keep on keeping on…a breath of fresh air and the waft of true human values above the no size fits all approach of society today. After all, equality is dead and obliterated by equity. And fuck you for having a good education and presenting to us the evidence. I’ll bet you received academic accolades for your excelling in school! Congrats.

Wow! This was exceptional. A follow up on what happened to the three of them would make this a classic.

A well done look at a wife's utter disrespect without the preemption of sexual infidelity.

Nicely done. Five stars!

An action she DIDN’T do and should have thought of 1st, if Rollie WAS 1st … she should have said she quit playing for Charlie and never wanted to see him again.

I would like to see it finshed and see what happens.

indeed, action do speak louder than words always, everywhere. enjoyed it ty for the read

yeah was so good i wish for an aftermath but was a good ending

Using the logic in this story, I rank pretty low in my wife's eyes. Kids and job DEFINITELY come first :-(

I would like to see a second chapter to this story. I agree with others it was cut off abruptly. Several comments said divorce was not called for but I tend to agree with the MC. At the very least a legal separation to give the bitch wife a chance to get her shit together.

When she ignored her son chewing her out and his warnings Rollie was considering divorce, she stayed with Charlie to finish the tour. With that very act, she announced how she rated her husband, her marriage and Charlie. The boss/job rationale was total bullshit.

I rated this story 4 stars. Not because of the plot line but mainly because of the way the story was told in places. Like at the beginning, it dryly told the story of the how participants. There should have been more of an introduction. Like another reader, I wondered if Rollie's nosebleeds were not a result of him unknowingly to him being given blood thinners as part of his daily vitamins/medicine regime. That might not have even occurred to the author. Same with the room key to Charlie's room. Why was it there? Is Charlie possibly DELIBERATELY trying to sabotage their marriage, After all he was the source of Rollie knowing how the two registered as a couple many times. Many things left unsaid. This is a story that begs for a continuance.

This story begs for some of the other writers on Literotica to give their rendition to, as in "February Sucks!" It would have read better to me if there were a point-counterpoint conversation in the lawyer's office instead of each just rambling along with their thoughts. especially on her side. He could have torn her apart point by point. An interesting story as most of yours are. A better finish was needed.

Very good story. I could almost believe her being naive until her son warned her and she kept on with Charlie. I would like to see a follow-up or epilog.

Per some other's comments, the first page narrative flow was almost painful to read. It was clear you were hitting certain plot points to set the stage, but in a very simple, staccato cadence. As a result, it didn't flow well. Once you transitioned more to dialogue, the story moved along well and I started to get more engaged. On the back end, I once again find myself agreeing with the majority. You leave us in limbo. All the arguments you present to support she sucks as a wife are true, but as someone who's been married for 30+ years you never cross the threshold of counseling versus divorce. The "experienced" reader is left hanging. Rounding up to 4* and I hope that helps?

I REALLY like how you forefronted Ann's neglect and dismissal of her husband and her relationship. As other commenters have noted, you've made the sex secondary--which it often is. Without respect, a relationship is doomed. Without disrespect, infidelity is impossible. People often miss that, and you really brought it into the foreground.

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One quibble: You don't really make the case for Ann's decision to stay with Charlie after Rollie announces his intention to divorce. After she tells Charlie to fuck himself and listens to her son lay out all the ways she's disrespected Rollie, you've built up a head of steam that suggests she's about to throw on her coat, run to the car and chase down her husband. Then Charlie hands her a drink and tells her she should stay on the road another week--hardly a compelling rebuttal to Randy's litany. Rather than throw the drink in Charlie's face and storm out, she does the highly implausable move of deciding that Charlie has a point, and that his suggestion is "a lifeboat worth clinging to." And...that's it? It's a weird about-face that feels poorly supported.

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Overall, though, a really good--and refreshingly new--take on the end of a relationship. Thanks!

He may be the aggrieved husband of a neglectful wife, but old nosebleed comes across as a pompous wiener. He doesn’t actually do anything to address his unhappiness but loudly suffer then give a sermon on his way out the door. I can’t tell if the author was actually trying to create a story with only unlikable characters.

Interesting concept, what you are describing here is an emotional affair. Her ignoring his medical issues, her deliberate ignoring him in the car, not going home when she knows he is upset enough to threaten divorce, the whole couple thing? And no, this isn't 1950, you don't get looks booming a room&you don't get a discount for being married, that is horseshit. She was seeing Charlie as her second husband emotionally.

She went to the ER and was embarrassed to put it on Rollie's insurance? Why? A yeast infection is not an STD. Unless she had one,a std, that makes no sense.

The real bullshit in the story was the psyc telling

her she saw Charlie as the boss, no way would they come up with that conclusion. You don't stay in a hospital room w your boss like that, no way.

Even with all this the ending isn't great. Anne just keeps putting her foot into it deeper and when she lays the boss thing on him, it is a knife to the heart. He wouldn't spout some philosophical bullshit, he would walk out the door, telling her it was over. The real end is when he tells Anne Charlie outright implied they were sleeping together with their lunch and she doesn't see the obvious, Charlie all along ess setting her up to have an affair with him,all of it.

We need to see what happens to them . Unless Anne is really a slut, she would realize what Charlie did and would take it out on him,especially if he tries to get her to be with him. Eventually she will wake up and realize what happened, and there would be hell to pay. And she also would at the very least try and make Amends with Rollie, if just to give him closure. Among other things admitting she let Charlie make her his 'wife without sex'. If for anything, to make Rollie feel better.

Plus you want to see Charlie face consequences. You think his daughter is going to stand by him,after hearing what he did? He will likely end up a pariah in his family and among mutual acquaintances.

Plus the obvious one, does Anne realize what she did, keep saying 'i know how it looks' and keep performing with Charlie, and likely in his bed? Or will she tell him to fuck off , and his ego takes a huge hit when without Anne he is nothing.

This story could also have a reconciliation if Anne actually wakes up and throws herself on Rollie's mercy...but wouldn't be easy. Emotional affairs can be worse than sex.

Very good tale. Would of been made even better if the tale would of been expanded to include what occurred to the three main characters after the divorce occurred. Some payback for Rollo would of been nice and some final understanding for Ann of the shallowness of her commitment to her marriage.

Well done. My favorite line: "Starting today, my quest is to find someone that will never put me second."

Boring

Love it he took far more crap from her then he should have. The first time she was name as wife to the asshole should have been the last she would have been in my life. Kick the dumb cunt to the curb and move on with your life.

Boy, was she stoopid!

Yeah that sitting 8n the backseat with out "friend" while I sit in the front seat alone is a bridge too far. That woulda been the flashpoint for me to saying goodbye.

Story a sad reason for destroying a marriage rollie should have taken charlie down.

Great start to a story. I wish you had finished it. Half a story is just half a story. It was enjoyable while it lasted but was still a half story. If it were finished it would probably be a five. As it is I can only do a three in hope that you will finish writing it.

It was good until the ending just fell of a cliff.

I assume they got divorced. What happened to the three of them afterwards?

Actions speak louder than words. Which means the bitch is lying, and Mr. Golden Voice needs to get punched in the throat one dark night so hard that he can barely speak, much less ever sing again. Wonder if Ann will still want his cock without the voice and the performing? Write that sequel. And thanks for the effort.

Lot of words to the truth.

Just another arrogant, braindead bitch.

If you don't write a suceeding chapter, you are missing a hell of a chance. Others will fill the gap. You can end it in many, many ways so, well, maybe you should open it to others.

Once again elongated cuckold stories always have the mc take far longer to react than any real person would - probably because he (and the author?) likes to actually wallow in that morass. There seems to be a subtle but evident level of wannabe cuckoldry in such behaviour.

Very well written story! 5 stars from here!

Very sad. No winner here.

Also, complete, in every way. I can't understand why readers would ask for a follow up. There can't be one. It would be a new story.

Excellent writing, I look forward to new stories.

Interesting!

4

You told a very good story impressively. I liked that very much! 5*!

Too much talk and continously repeating the same arguments by different persons made it hard to read till the end of this story. Quite boring.

I'd have like that continued a bit longer. seeing how the wife reacted to his reasons. Maybe a touch more closure on the situation

Women can do no wrong!! Just ask them

Rambling story, plot and people became confusing right from the start of the story and I gave up in frustration.

Unfinished story from a tired writer

Rather heavy on the platitudes but a decent plot. Keep Writing.

MLJ

Time goes by… DD