All Comments on 'Watching Ch. 01'

it was okay, not as believable as your others. Its hard to see Luke could see so much from inside his truck and across the street. To many "as". Maybe you shouldn't try so hard - kinda seems like your going backwards. Many people do that, just let your story come the way the first one did. thats your best one. IDK i still think your write well. i can tell u didn't really feel the story. Sorry, just telling you what i think.

Hot story

Gave it 5 stars. absolutely loved it.

I think you have set the foundation for a good follow up story. There is a great tension between a younger inexperienced male and an older experienced woman here that needs to be manipulated for all its worth! go for it.

Wow, a great start to a series! There are a lot of different ways you can take this story from here... I can't wait to see what you do with your story next.

I like the poetry in your writing. Just a few typos especially near the end.