Watershed

I queued for what felt like ages, had an amazing wee, freshened up, and was making my way back to the table when a man put his arm around me and pulled me against him.

"Let me go!"

"You've got a nice body, chicky."

"Let go of me. Let go of me right now!"

I struggled, tried to break free, and then screamed as I felt him shove a hand between my legs.

"Get your hands off me you fuck!" I shouted, contorting myself, trying to break free.

"Tam!"

There was a scuffle as Will grabbed my harasser, and threw him violently against a wall. "You fucker," he was shouting, "I'm going to moer you!"

I was barged aside as another man forced his way through the crowd. Then I screamed, a terrified "Will!" as the newcomer wound up and punched William in the side of the head.

Will went down like a marionette, and I screamed again, elbowing and kicking my way to him.

Two huge bouncers parted the crowd like Moses. One got Will's assailant in a head lock and bent him into a posture that seemed excruciating given the way he started to scream. The other dodged a punch from my groper and felled him with a brutal blow to the stomach before helping his friend subdue the first man.

I dropped to my knees next to Will, shaking him.

"Will. Will. Jesus. William. Wills. Wills. Jesus fuck, Will, wake up!"

A shaven-haired man with took my arms, restraining me gently. "Stop shaking him. He might have a head injury. Keep him still. Is he with you?"

"My neighbour. Please, he needs help. Please call an ambulance!"

"Barman's already doing it. What happened here?"

"That fuck," I said, pointing at the man on the floor. "That poes groped me. He had his hand up my fucking dress! Will pulled him off me and that other fuck punched him in the side of the head!"

"Ok. I'll take care of it. I'm police," he added. "I was supposed to be off-duty, but I'll take great delight in making sure this scum and his friend spend the night somewhere cold and miserable. You want to press charges?"

"Yes," I spat, venomously. "Fuck yes. Fucking sexual assaulting fuck!"

"Good. My name's le Roux. Please don't leave without talking to me, I need your statement so I can make sure these pigs get processed. I'll find you once I'm done them. Stay here with your friend."

Martin and Guy had managed to force their way through the press. Someone gave me a blanket, which I used to cover Will. And then I started to shake as the adrenaline wore off.

Guy put another blanket around me, and he and Martin crouched awkwardly to either side of me as I held Will's hand and fought back the tears.

.:.

Uniformed police arrived and carted the scum off in the back of a satisfyingly filthy van; I gave a brief but furious statement to to Sergeant le Roux and he promised to let me know once they'd been processed at the station.

Will began to come round as they were loading him into the ambulance. He was completely out of it - he couldn't remember what had happened or where he was and started to try to get off the stretcher, but he calmed down once I took his hand.

"You were in a fight," I kept telling him when he'd ask every few minutes. "You're being taken to hospital. I've phoned your mum and dad. Everything's fine. You're fine. Rest, Will. We'll talk once you've been admitted and checked, ok? Don't worry, Wills, I've got this."

Guy, Martin and I hopped into Will's mum's Audi and followed the ambulance. We hovered until we got word that Will was stable - a nasty concussion, but he had no fractures or any signs of internal bleeding and would most likely be discharged in the morning. I phoned Will's parents to let them know he was ok. Martin and Guy drove his car home, and Dad came through to pick me up.

I didn't tell Dad why Will had been hit, just that someone had been giving me grief and Will had tried to intervene and got sucker punched for his trouble. My dad has an incandescent temper where his little girl is concerned, and I needed him to focus on driving rather than on vengeance and hellfire.

I hugged Mum, and had a shower to wash the evening's filth (both physical and psychic) from me, then curled up, shivering, on my bed.

I didn't sleep much. I was too worried about Will.

.:.

I waited until he'd been home for about an hour, and then rang their doorbell. Will opened it - and I went thermonuclear.

"You fucking moron!" I raged at him. "He could have had a knife! He could have had a gun!"

"Hi, Tim Tam."

"Are you out of your fucking mind? What if he'd stabbed you! What if he'd shot you! You... you moron!"

"I'm feeling great, thanks for asking."

I grabbed his shirt; attempted to shake him.

"I am, literally, so angry with you right now I am struggling to put it in to words! Muppet! Doos! Idiot!"

He reached out, and pulled me into a tight, enveloping hug. I squeaked, struggled, and then gave up as the floodgates opened. I hit him ineffectually, open palmed, on the chest - a child's instinctive anger, hampered by my tears. Then I just leaned against him, trying to control myself, hands clutching his shirt spasmodically as I cried harsh, shuddering sobs.

"You fucking man-child," I hiccoughed, after some time. "Idiot. Moron."

"You're repeating yourself."

"I was so fucking scared. So fucking scared. Jesus. I thought he'd killed you. I thought you were fucking dead, Will."

"I was just resting."

"Don't. Don't trivialise this right now, you shit. Don't you dare. You put me through hell, you fucker."

Will's mum stuck her head around the corner. "She's right, Will. You were stupid. You could have been killed. Tammy's got every right to be livid with you. Don't mock her."

I pulled away from him, brushed furiously at my eyes, ashamed that Will's mum had heard me swearing. "Idiot," I breathed, shuddering.

"You'd better come in, Tammy." his mum said, as she gently took my hand and lead me through to their kitchen. "Don't worry, sweetie," she added, as she passed me a wad of tissues for my eyes, "you've not even scratched the surface of the scene I caused when we got him home. Hell hath no fury etcetera etcetera."

"I couldn't sit down," Will offered, deadpan.

"Idiot," I repeated with a shudder.

"That man sexually assaulted you, Tam."

"And if he'd killed you? What the fuck then, Einstein? Sorry, Mrs A," I added, hastily.

"You were assaulted, Tammy?" Will's mum touched my shoulder, looked at me with concern.

"Some man felt my... me... against my wishes while I was coming back from the ladies. The bouncers would have dealt with it. Will didn't need to get involved."

"Are you ok?"

"Just really angry, Mrs A."

She sighed, then turned to make tea.

I glared up at William, and he tried to look contrite. The dark bruising on his cheek and jaw didn't help at all.

"I hope it hurts," I said, unfairly. "Idiot."

"Yeah, it does, but I don't care. It was the right thing to do."

"The graveyards are full of people who did the right thing. I've only got one of you."

He glanced away, sombre, and his mum took the moment to place a cup of tea in front of me. "Going upstairs," she said softly, as she gave me a brief one armed hug. "Call me if he keels over, will you, Tammy?"

"Yeah. Sure. Once I'm done kicking him around a bit."

"Get one or two in for me, will you?" she added with a small smile. She pulled Will against her, then stepped back and stared up at him. "You're an idiot," she agreed with me as she left the room.

I took a deep breath and clasped the cup of tea.

Will opened his mouth.

"Shut up. Quiet. Just. Just be quiet for a bit, Will."

He closed his mouth, and took a seat opposite me. I glared at him, then let out a shuddering sigh. "Stupid idiot," I muttered.

He mimed a broken heart and tears.

"You're such a clown."

"I never claimed otherwise, you know. Tam... are you okay?"

"No, I'm fucking angry."

"I didn't mean with me, Tam. I meant about what happened to you. He violated you, Tam."

"He didn't have time to do anything worse than touch me, Will. He wasn't in me."

He clenched his jaw. "Still. It's not right."

"Of course I'm not okay about it, and I mean to see the fuck strung up for it, but it's just my body, Wills. It's not my heart or my mind or my soul. It's foul and wrong and evil, and it's fucking bullshit that he did it to me and I am mad as a snake about it. But Will... you could have died. And that's far, far worse for me. Never, and I really do mean fucking never ever do that to me again."

"Tam..."

"You fucking swear it to me right now."

"I swear to never do that again."

"Ok." I took a breath, then another. "Christ. I need vodka, not tea, and I'm still fucking pissed with you, William. I'm going home. I just had to come here to scream at you and make sure that you were okay and scream at you some more."

"Tamsin, I leave for Cape Town tomorrow evening."

I stared at him, suddenly cold and tired. "Oh. Oh no. So soon, Will? Really?"

"Yeah, I was just up for a city break, to visit my parents."

"For fuck sakes," I sighed, slumping forward, rubbing my eyes tiredly. "You just got here."

"Yeah, sorry for screwing it up so well. If I'd known you'd be here I'd have stayed longer."

I shook my head. "Ships in the night. Just... come say bye to my parents before you leave, will you? Mum will be really down if you don't."

"What about you?"

"I never say bye to you, Wills. It's always just a see you later."

I stood and made for the door. "Bye, Mrs A!" I called out. "Thanks for the tea!"

"Bye Tammy, love to your folks."

"Will do!"

I glanced back at him from the door. He was watching me, pensively stroking his cheek.

"See you later, Wills."

"See you later, Tim Tam."

I closed the door behind me, and kicked it hard once for good measure.

.:.

I pushed off the wall, floating on my back, watching the towering cumulonimbus that predicted an afternoon storm. The water was helping wash away the fury but had not yet done one iota to ease the memory of the crushing fear I'd experienced.

I closed my eyes, controlling my breathing.

I could still hear the sickening crack William's head had made when it struck the floor, could still taste the bile in the back of my throat.

Part of me, of course, was humbled at the knowledge he'd stepped in so readily to protect me. Who wouldn't feel that? Who wouldn't feel it to the depths of their soul that someone would stand and fight for them?

But it had been death, for me, to see him lying there. It had shaken me to the bone. Made me seriously reassess who I was... and how important he was to me. And I'd realised that, to me anyway, life away from him was a grey and lonely existence...

I felt a ripple of waves, and turned my head, squinting.

Will was perched on the tiled rim of the pool, stirring the water idly with his legs as he watched me. I swallowed the remaining anger, pushed it deep, down and away. Will didn't need more griefing. I'd been more than mean enough to him today. It was time to make friends again.

"Hi Will."

"Hi, Tim Tam. I saw you swimming so I thought I'd hop over and join you, and work on my apology."

The top of a ladder peeked over the fence. I snorted - Will and I had always set up a highway during summer holidays; he'd had a standing invitation to use our pool and had taken frequent advantage of it. He'd clearly not felt like coming through the front door; he was probably tired of the attention, knowing him.

"Coming in?" I asked.

"Nah, just chilling a bit."

"Mm." I pushed off the wall once more, drifting, conscious now of the way he was watching me. My two-piece costume showed more than I'd ideally like in the circumstances, but I'd thought I'd have the pool to myself.

And anyway, he'd probably earned the right to admire me a little bit. It wouldn't kill him, and might just give him a bit of necessary introspection.

So I drifted on my back, watching the encroaching clouds, leaving him to stew with his thoughts. I reached the far wall, turned upright again, and glanced at him - he was still watching me, still pensively twirling a leg in the water.

"You'd feel better for a swim, you know," I said.

"I'm not wearing a costume."

"It's never stopped you before."

He snorted, then pulled off his teeshirt. He had filled out, grown a man's gorgeous chest and shoulders. I approved - they suited him.

I moved closer, then reached up and took his hand and pulled him down into the water with me.

I pushed off the wall and floated away, and I felt the ripples as he did the same. We drifted in silent company, an armada of two, as the clouds built slowly in the heavens above us.

"Tam?" he said, eventually. His voice was soft, cautious.

"Wills."

"What did you mean earlier when you said you've only got one of me?"

"I said what I meant."

"That's what I'm asking."

"You're a bright boy, you'll work it out. I believe in you."

Thunder rumbled in the distance, and we both glanced over our shoulders, instinctively evaluating the distance to the storm.

"Half an hour?" I hazarded.

"Yeah... We could go sit in the lapa, watch the lightning."

"Or indoors in your kitchen."

"We have beer and wine," he offered, eyebrow raised.

"After last night I could use a drink or ten. I'll go put on something decent and be right over."

He waited for me to climb out of the pool, then lifted himself out after me. I caught him watching me as I dried my stomach and legs, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't bring a slight flush to my cheeks to know he'd finally started to notice that I wasn't a girl any more. I made sure I lingered a bit before wrapping my towel around my waist, giving him time to properly appreciate me.

I was blushing by the time I was done. Will had a strangely intent expression on his face, but he gave me a light "See you later," as he climbed on a chair and swung his leg back over the fence. I watched him go, feeling slightly ashamed for flaunting myself. But I'd wanted to see if he'd react. And it had been gratifying to see that he had.

I made my way indoors, and up to my room. Thunder rumbled, closer this time. The storm was building.

I stripped out of my costume, and dug a plain but decent push-up bra out of my bag. I clipped it on, adjusted myself, and then pulled on a pair of sheer panties. A tight white vest and blue jeans and I was good to go. I turned sideways, checking my profile in my mirror. Decent cleavage, but not trashy or obnoxiously slutty.

Good.

My jeans were worth what I'd paid for them - they clung to me without appearing to, and I approved of what they did for my bum.

I left my hair loose and tangled, not wanting to waste the time in drying it. I knew Will wouldn't mind.

"Mum?"

"Yep, Tam?"

"Heading over the fence, going to watch the storm with Wills."

"Give him a hug from me and tell him I hope he's feeling better. You going to be back for supper?"

"I will," I said. "If not, I'll shout."

She laughed, and waved.

I rang the Andrews' doorbell and waited, shifting nervously from foot to bare foot.

William opened the door - he'd pulled on jeans and a clean shirt of his own. He smiled, turned aside and let me in, and then made a strange noise deep in his throat as I stepped up and hugged him, hard. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around me and held me, face pressed into my damp hair.

"That's from my mum," I said softly. "Partly. But also it's to say sorry for giving you so much abuse this morning. It was unfair of me and I'm sorry."

"I know I deserved some of it, but apology accepted. Have you accepted mine?"

"Wills, you've never done anything to me you needed to apologise for. I was just scared and angry and I exploded. It wasn't right and I'm sorry for going psycho on you."

"Never apologise for caring, Tim Tam." He brushed his lips against my forehead and I shivered.

"Wine's cold," he announced, releasing me. I regretted that, the sensation of his arms around me had left me slightly giddy. I wanted more, but I fought down the urge, let him go and followed him through to the kitchen.

Thunder growled, very close now, and Wills paused before pouring me a glass of white. "Sounds like it's going to be a big one." He topped his own glass up, and raised it to me.

"Cheers, Tam."

"Cheers, Wills."

"So, fill me in, please. I've got this strange memory from last night of you holding my hand and telling me I was ok."

"You were completely out of it, Wills. You kept trying to get up off the gurney... stretcher... fuck, whatever it was. You were very confused, completely fucked in the head. It was the best way I could think of to get you to lie still short of sitting on you or strapping you down. I had to tell you what happened about fifteen times in total."

"Thanks for being there for me, Tammy."

"Where else would I be?"

"What do you mean?"

You'd just pulled someone off me. It was actually kind of awesome, you know. You looked like you went into full-on red-mist Saxon rage. I think he probably shat himself a bit."

"Pity player two entered the game," he muttered, rubbing gently at his jaw.

I glanced across at him. "How sore is it, really?"

"Pretty sore. Constant throb, more when I move my mouth."

"So talking hurts?"

"A bit. So does smiling."

"So I'm effectively torturing you, right now?"

"Yep."

"Good."

He laughed, then winced, then laughed again.

"Sorry, but you do kind of deserve it a little bit," I said.

"Touché."

A flash of bright white outside, a monumental roar of thunder. A gust of wind blew through, and I heard windows banging closed upstairs.

"Shit, that's hail," he said, and I glanced outside, where squash-ball-sized chunks of ice were starting to fall.

"Oh boy. There goes your mum's car. I hope it doesn't take out windows like last Christmas."

I spun on my seat, leaning back against the counter and watching the developing carnage. "Shit. It's a big one, isn't it."

"Yeah. Crowd-pleaser."

Then Will slid his chair up next to mine. I glanced up at him and then, heart thumping, I risked leaning in against him and rested my head against his shoulder.

I heard him sigh, and he put his wineglass down on the countertop with a faint clink.

"Tammy?"

"Will."

"What's on your mind?"

"Explain."

"You're behaving... differently. Towards me."

"Am I?"

"Yes. You are. Very differently. And I... I need to know why."

"Why?"

"Because I desperately want to put my arms around you, and I'm scared that I'm... misreading how're you're acting towards me."

"You can put your arm around me, Wills," I breathed.

And then I shivered as he did just that, and leaned in harder against him, closing my eyes.

"Tammy, are you ok?"

"Yes but no but yes," I whispered with a shudder. "Just... I've just realised how long I've been waiting for this moment."

"Tam?"

I sighed and glanced up at him. "Sometimes, William, you're really not very quick on the uptake."

"You're into me." He sounded surprised, perplexed even.

"Yes, Wills, I am."

"Since when?"

"Wills... honestly, I'd be lying if I gave you an actual answer. And I actually don't really know. But it feels like since forever."

"Tim Tam, why didn't you ever say anything to me?"

"I guess it was just never the right time. And I... was scared. Of rejection or some such shit."

"And now?"

"Last night terrified me, Will. Shook some things loose in my head, if you can believe that. I... realised just how much I needed you in my life."

"And you decided to..."

"Let you know how I feel about you. You were my friend, Will. But... somewhere along the line you became... more. To me. And I don't want to hide that from you any more."

"Your timing really sucks, you know that."

"Yeah. Still. I guess it maybe gives you a reason to come back to visit a bit more frequently."