All Comments on 'WBDP - Brianna Delivers Pt. 01'

I like you as a writer, have read your previous stories; however there is no person who can have all this sex. It makes the story so unbelievable that it takes away from the pleasure you could continue to give thru your writing. I don’t know of any man who can climax that many times, even in his 20s. Please make the story more realistic.

A second comment, the other reason I did not rate the story higher, I don’t enjoy reading about a Master serving as a slave. In the real world of D/s that makes him a switch, not really a Master. I can’t respect that.

Keep writing, you have talent, just make the storyline more realistic. You can be an even greater writer if you decide to take this advice. I have read erotica for 20 years and do consider myself a decent critic.

Happy for S & M. But guess seeing Sam as a slave was not exactly appealing to me. Now really waiting for Marcia's 6 days.

This story really annoyed me. In the first place, I was as unhappy with the role reversal as others. Marcia made a really bad Mistress. She did not really work to make Sam happy. She did not start with a small butt plug and move up, she jammed in one that was too large. It seemed that she started off trying to deny orgasm as retribution for things Sam did as Master. And, she ends up (in the next part) whipping Sam's penis. I am willing to believe this may cause pleasure or an orgasm (though I am dubious), but I cannot believe Sam would be able to keep erect. Striking an erection with a whip seems like a good way to make it disappear. There is a spot just below the glans where a sharp blow will make an erect penis immediately go flaccid. Even if Marcia knows this (which I doubt), she doesn't have the skill to avoid this spot.

What REALLY ticked me off was Marcia's unilateral decisions about using Sam to impregnate other women (early in his sub time) and the decision to move to LA. In other chapters the characters brag about the way they decide important things jointly. Marcia made these two decisions without Sam. Sam goes along with this claim that they decided, when Sam was NOT part of the decision.

I have liked the other parts of this story. I did not mind the parts the Sam's mother to much. But Marcia's treatment of Sam and her choice to make decisions while Sam was asleep really pissed me off. I almost wanted Sam to leave her.

Thor,

Here we go again!! I love this chapter 2 little ones so cute. Sam’s a double Daddy. Yeah.

Love ya,

Shar

FIRST time thru. . . .Really like your writing style. Vocabulary good. Characterizations continue to hold true. As for content, did not like at all SAM as submissive. MARCIA was lacking as a DOM. I can see getting revenge for orgasm denial, just not done smart. Your signature suspenseful writing around the birth of the twins - Well done ! Loved MARCIA holding baby in hospital and declaration of moving ! As for SAM becoming their breeding stud ? Why not ? Good storytelling, DEAR AUTHOR ! 5 stars

FIRST time thru AGAIN ! I just had to read this story again. Focusing on. BRIANNA before birth, limo birth, HOSPITAL segment. Parts of this brought tears to my eyes. You do that, DEAR AUTHOR. But ! Did not like SAM as slave. Did not like MARCIA as DOM. Did a lot of skimming. 5 stars.

You brought a tear to my eye with this episode. You write conflict and emotion so well. I really feel emotionally invested in your characters. Five great big stars.