We Needed to Talk About It

I realized that despite what has happened and given our commitment to our family that I needed to forgive and move on and I wanted to do that with Susan as my wife in name and deed. So, I planned to have her parents watch the kids, I took two weeks off from work and arranged for a trip to Paris and Euro rail passes to travel and see some of the French countryside.

I made sure our passports were updated and bought the tickets. I had paid for a month's rent on a small apartment in Paris because it was cheaper than a hotel for two weeks and more private. I even packed Susan's suitcases. I called for a limo on Saturday the day we were to leave to take us to the airport in style.

Susan was surprised to see her parents come to the house that day. She had just returned home from the day spa where she had got a massage, facial, and her hair styled. I told her I won it in a raffle so she should have it since it was a gift for a woman. She knew that I would never had used it so she accepted it and went.

Of course, I paid for the certificate and made sure the staff knew it was a "raffle prize" to be redeemed. She looked stunning. When we married, we couldn't afford a real honeymoon so we had a weekend at a small inn. I hoped that this trip might serve as new beginning and become the honeymoon we never had. One way or another we could no longer maintain the status quo and would serve as the apex for the trajectory of our marriage. It was time to soar to the stars or crash and burn.

I had her parent's offer to take the kids out to McDonald's and her Dad "suggested" I take Susan out for lunch. I told him, "Sure, good idea. Susan put on something casual and comfortable. No heels. Maybe we'd take a drive and go for a stroll after lunch." She went upstairs to change. The limo arrived as she came down the stairs. We put on jackets and she grabbed her purse. I put our passports and some toiletries and such in my gym bag. I told her it had umbrellas and raincoats in case of rain.

She was shocked to see the limo in the drive with the driver holding the door open for us. We got in and Susan started to speak and I put my fingers to her lips to quiet her. I said, "no questions for now. Enjoy this glass of champagne as we ride in style to our destination. I pulled out a picnic basket that had some meat, cheeses, and crackers to snack on.

I told her, "Susan you've done a wonderful job putting the children's needs ahead of your own in and under difficult conditions and circumstances. Your sacrifices haven't gone unnoticed. You deserve some time to relax and get recharged and so do I. So, I have arranged a vacation for us. We are headed to the airport as we speak and our destination is Paris."

Her eyes grew wide with the surprise. I continued, "Susan, I want to apologize for the way I've treated you during the past year. Especially for the humiliation I caused you and the subsequent pain it brought. I've had time to think over and have re-evaluated our life and relationship as well as had time to heal some old wounds. I also came to the stark realization that the current status quo cannot be sustained or tolerated by either of us."

"Susan, what I discovered as I reflected about the past and present is that somehow somewhere deep within me, I found I still love you. I arranged this trip for several reasons. First and foremost, you truly earned time to rest and come home to our children refreshed and rejuvenated. Secondly, I wanted you to have time with me away from the normal distractions so you can examine your feelings and see if you want to move forward together or apart, to see if you still love me in kind."

I added, "We have both experienced pain and humiliation. We are both guilty of hurting one another. I wish for you to be my wife in both name and deed. If you agree, we can renew both our commitment and our vows in Paris and have the honeymoon we never had or we can enjoy the sights, the food and beauty of France and return ready to face a new life apart. Whatever we ultimately decide, we both deserve happiness."

She replied, "Jonathan, thank you for your apology. Yes, I was deeply wounded not so much by your rejection as by your indifference to what I needed and what I desired. It struck to the core of my womanhood and left me without my soulmate. I then realized for the first time what I had put you through. Without that epiphany a thousand apologies would not be enough. To hear that you still love me then I need and accept one and only one. I hope upon hope you will accept my one apology in kind."

After we settled into our small apartment, we enjoyed Paris for a couple of days. I arranged for a small ceremony at the cathedral in Chartes. I surprised Susan by flying her parents and our children to bear witness to our recommitment to each other and our family. Steve and his wife Janet attended as well. We spent the rest of the week with family and friends enjoying the sights of Paris. Her parents paid for the hotel rooms. Steve and Janet gave them a break taking the kids to see the Louvre so they had a chance to spend a romantic day and evening to reconnect themselves.

A couple of days before the gang was to return home, we boarded a train to see some of the countryside. We visited the Bordeaux region and enjoyed some fine wine. We went to Normandy and the American Cemetery and paid our deepest respects to the fallen who gave their lives for our freedom and the opportunity to enjoy ours.

We survived bumps and bruises along the way. The future brought great joy. Cindy went to college and became a psychologist and counsels children exposed to traumatic events. She married a wonderful man and have three children Robbie, named after his father, Dawn, and little Andrew.

Nancy went to culinary school and is a sous chef working in the restaurant of a well-known celebrity chef. She is currently married to her career. Joey, "Please Mom and Dad call me Joe", went to trade school for carpentry and masonry. He worked closely with a general contractor for several years and learned the business inside and out. He bought out his mentor and now runs one of the biggest construction firms in the state. He and his wife have a baby on the way.

Life seemed to have evened out until one day years later Susan said those infamous words, "Jonathan there is something we need to talk about." I froze as my heart nearly beat out of my chest, I felt pain both physical and emotional. She laughed a bit before she added, "I have our bags packed. Joe has loaded them into the limo. Everything is set and it's time to return to Paris. We deserve happiness and wine, beef bourguignon and bonbons." I had to chuckle for she had got me good.

As we winged our way to Paris once again, I realized how lucky life has been and I thought as I watched her sleeping, "Enjoy it why you can there won't be much sleeping for now on." Like a good merlot, we had aged and mellowed; and life like a good wine is bold, flavorful and oh so smooth. It's to be savored and enjoyed and ours is indeed a fine vintage.