Werewoman Joni Ch. 01

"Must kiss ass, must pull down panties," intoned the robot in its monotone. "Must fulfill wish. Voobit-voobit!" It still advanced.

Joni, tried to make a judo kick, but the George-trained robot was too quick for her, ducked under her kick, then threw her over its shoulders and headed toward the bedroom door. Joni started hysterically shrieking, "George, you put me down. I wish you wouldn't do this." She was beating her fists on his back.

Prepared for that response, the robot answered, "Must obey first wish first. Executing first wish." Still advancing to the bedroom door, the robot gave Joni's butt three nice pats: "Nice <pat!>! Nice <pat>! Nice <pat>!

Tim had literally rolled off the sofa and onto the floor laughing and holding his gut. Marci was laughing hysterically, too.

Once the robot has disappeared into the bedroom and had kicked the door shut, they could all hear Joni wailing helplessly. "No, George, don't you dare do this to me! George, no, no, nooooo!"

The robot had managed to pull down her pajama bottoms to make her panties visible. "Oh, boy..." the robot intoned, but much louder since the door was closed. "Pastel green panties. Must get good view. Yum, yum, eat 'em up. Yum, yum, eat 'em up."

Since the door was now closed, Joni went into total cooperation mode upon hearing the spiel about the panties. She was even chuckling to herself. Realizing he now had her cooperation, the George-robot reached for a roll of tattered canvas that had once been a pull-down shade for the bedroom. George-robot winked at Joni, and put at finger to his mouth and whispered, "Shhh - Watch this!" George-robot took the tattered canvas and made it loudly riiiiiiip, to simulate clothes being ripped off. "Yum, yum, eat 'em up - no mole, no dingleberry - must kiss ass..." George-robot made exaggerated kissing noises with "mummm-mummm-mummm <kiss, kiss, kiss> The robot genie returned control to George. "What? Where am I? Joni, why are your panties down?"

Joni lost no time in kicking and beating on George as she pulled up her panties and pj's. "You nasty, filthy bastard!" she hollered, smiling 'cuz she knew what effect it'd have on Tim and Joni in the living room. George and Joni then walked out of the bedroom and took a bow with Tim and Marci applauding enthusiastically and still laughing heartily.

"Well, Marci, I now wholeheartedly believe what you said about George being just as crazy as Mark. How'd George get hold of a 'script' for this little skit, anyhow?"

Tim answered that the playlet was the joint brainchild of Mark and Sharon. They had performed it for Mark's parents several months ago, and Mark's parents liked it so much that they insisted that they pull the same stunt over at Sharon's folk's place.

"As soon as I saw that Joni was actually wearing pastel green panties, well, I just had to ad lib a bit. Kinda wish I'd put a hickie on her butt! How'd I do?"

"Excellent! That, I think," Marci explained, "is what made Tim fall off the couch and start rolling on the floor. Perfect performance, George, we'll have to fashion an 'Oscar' for both you and Joni! Tim, let's go to that award and trophy shop on Salem Ave. to have something made up for these two. We can have the awards labeled 'Perfect KMA Performance" with today's date. We'll just have to take Polaroids and give a copy to Mark and Sharon."

Tim agreed. It'd make for good conversation pieces and bragging rights for years to come.

"You did get a nice view of my panties, George, right?"

"Yeah, made me absolutely drool!" George actually got a little hug for that.

Tim and Marci trundled off homeward and Joni found herself in George's strong arms, kissing her lightly and stroking her face. "Honey, I'm so horny for you, but we still have to wait a few more days, Okay if I feel you up and maybe lick the Joni Boner?"

"We'll need to get cleaned up a bit first. I'm horny for you, too."

Soon they were in bed, spooning, with George giving her lots of fairy princess kisses, which Joni was addicted to by now. George gently squeezed her breasts and sucked on each one, and Joni lowered her milk to give him a taste of her. He used the lip pursing method of jacking off her clit again, and she came very quickly with a gush of Princess Juice. This time George wisecracked that if they let her juice sit long enough, it'll turn into fish sauce. "How dare you call my Princess Juice fish sauce?" George further joked that they'd have to dispose of the puppy pad that they were lying on to absorb fluids and possibly blood very carefully lest it attract stray cats - meooow! "You nasty bastard, George!" But he kept on kissing her and lip rubbing her clit until he felt Joni's abdomen contracting with her orgasm. Just as he'd guessed, the contractions made her vagina expel a little pool of bloody fluid and clots along with the fish sauce. He wanted so badly to drive his cock into her pussy, but they had already made a nice mess as it was. George carried his princess to the tub after he had run her some bath water and helped her clean off the clots from her pubic hair. He helped her with the douche as the tub drained and patted her dry with a towel. Joni held George and cried gently. "George, I love you so much. You're spoiling me rotten just as you said you would, and I'm actually getting as addicted to your spoiling treatment as I already am with your sugar plum fairy princess kisses you cover me with to put me to sleep. You're so good to me, and I'm so mean to you."

"No, you're not. I actually thrive on the way you treat me. Are we putting on the dog for each other or what? I'm not trying to be anything but myself with you. We haven't had any major fallings-out or arguments or knock-down-drag-outs. I'm sure those will come soon enough, but Joni, this past week since the Gatlinburg trip, I have been more at peace with myself and relaxed then I can ever remember. I'm not as tense as I usually am. I'm so glad you accepted me back into your life as well as you have. I know you'd been both angry and frustrated with me since that walk in the schoolyard when all I would do is kiss you. I kept my hands to myself because I had to, not because I wanted to."

"I was both angry and more than a little frustrated. Only that Bobby at church seemed to be paying any male attention to me at all. I was depressed a lot thinking there was something wrong with me. I don't barhop or socialize much and I don't accept date offers from a lot of creepy customers who try to ask me out. I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world but I had begun wondering just how ugly was I? When you asked me to go to Gatlinburg with you and then bought me this ring, you changed my life, George. I don't ever want to go back to the way I was."

"You're not ugly, Joni, you're my beautiful little Princess. Remember that. Just love me, Joni, like you do now. I'm not going anywhere. We've got a lot of things we need to do together. As soon as we get you a regular degree and I'm working a steady job, we can take you off the pill and get a baby growing in your belly. Our folks would be pleased, but more importantly, I know I'll be pleased. Won't you be?"

"Yes. Put me to bed and tuck me in and cover me with those delicious kisses that I need from you so badly. I'm desperate to resume some really wild sex with you."

"So am I, Sugar Babe, so am I. But let's ease into the wild stuff gradually."

The next day was consumed with the promised shopping spree. George also pushed Joni into "Victoria's Secret(ion)" as he called it and told her to buy herself a couple of nice little nothings. He assured her that if he liked what he saw when she modeled them for him at home, he'd be sure to gently bite them off her body with his teeth. She giggled at that. He'd meet her at the Food Court when she was done in there. When they got home, Joni busied herself with clipping off price and band tags and a lot of the new stuff into the washer to get the chemicals washed out. She'd do his jeans and "stinky socks" and underwear with a separate load. He had to have her model the new pantsuits and dresses she'd be wearing to work, school, and church. At the grocery store, George held up a bottle of fish sauce, pointed to it, and raised his eyebrows up and down. Joni glared at him through narrowed eyes and told him to put it back on the shelf, calling him a nasty man. Go figure.

On Sunday, just as George had foreseen, the three harem-scare-'ems followed George and Joni in the line to the pastor. George introduced Joni to the pastor, holding up her left hand prominently to display her ring and announced her as his fiancée. Joni was watching Susan in particular out of the corner of her eye. Susan's countenance dropped as though all the mud pack foundation were going to melt off. Joni was trying to beam a telepathic message to Susan that went something like, "Game over, you little bitch, George is mine! (like 'meooow, y'all')" The pastor congratulated George and Joni who honestly told him that they had not yet set a date for the Big Day. But the tactic had its desired effect on the harem girls. Only time would tell if it was truly effective.

That all explained to George why Joni had taken extra time Sunday morning to get ready for church. She normally didn't curl her hair or put on much makeup. She didn't need to. She was a stunner as it was already. But she dressed to the nines, got herself all dolled up, put on a spot of perfume, pretty little raven-haired Valkyrie that she was. She was truly stunning that morning, and George told her so. He sized her up, looking at her up and down "oncet or twicet" (Kentucky dialect, y'all) and was ready to declare her "table grade" and eat her out on the spot, but he was at a loss to figure out how to say grace for such a meal... He planned to tell her that a little later after church, knowing she'd swat him and call him a nasty man. But he'd tell her anyhow. It'd make life "more funner."

Joni was gloating on the way to lunch after the service. Still cautious, though, Joni put up a wager: "I bet you a dozen chocolate glazed donuts that Susan will still show up at that sock hop Asgard will play at."

"Really? I'll match that bet with a whole raspberry cream cheesecake that she won't. I think she got the message that I'm truly out of her little league. She won't show up. I'm that sure of it."

"Well, I'm coming along anyhow to make sure. You're not going to view any more pastel panties, buster, unless I'm wearing them!"

"Sounds like a cool beans type of deal. I will eagerly await those donuts. I'll dunk 'em all in hot coffee and suck the coffee out of them as surely as I suck out your Princess Juice. Yum, yum."

"You nasty man!"

"Yeah, but you like my brand of nastiness, don't you?

Joni smirked and wouldn't say anything, but she did break out into a smile.

"Thought so!"

Joni had to accept the loss of her bet two weeks later. She even ate two of the donuts herself.

"And here's the cheesecake I promised. I know how much you like that. But only a skinny slice for now, mind you!"

"Hmpf! The Miserly King has spoken!" They both laughed.

"And now, it's Poetry Time. Yay, yay, yaaaay!"

"Oh no! What goofy poem are you going to recite this time?"

"One that might actually drive you away from me... here goes:

Old Joni Hubbard went to the cupboard

To fetch Marci's puppy a bone.

But as she bent over, ol' Georgey took over,

'Cuz she had a bone of her own!'"

Joni gasped and loudly aspirated. "You filthy nasty, nasty, nasty bastard you!" She was pounding on his chest. George was laughing. "You can never, I mean ever, recite that poem to anyone but me!" By this time she was laughing herself and shaking her head.

"Oh, that's the intention here, private stuff just for you and me! Got a song entry along the same line, too, that I'm working on. You only get to hear it once I get the background music recorded. And, no, none of the band members will be privy to any of it. It'll take me a few days to complete it."

Joni rolled her eyes in feigned disgust. "Oh, I just can't wait to hear this..."

Now that school was back in session and both of them were back at work, George could only work on the song late at night while Joni was asleep and on the weekend. Took a while to rehearse it without busting up laughing, but it was a karaoke-ized version of "The Big Rock Candy Mountain", and it went like this:

Oh, the Big Rock Joni Boner,

The rock hard Joni Boner,

Where a slick pink spar

Juts up to the stars

From a dense Black Forest's fountain,

And it squirts with glee,

But it really ain't pee,

From that tasty Joni Boner.

George constantly chuckled to himself, saying "She's really gonna kill me this time! Maybe I'll need to throw in some fish sauce into any future revision, like 'it shoots fish sauce from the hips of the boss' Nawww, let's let it go as it is."

When George sang it to her a few days later, the diamond in her ring glowed brilliantly and Joni was transformed into her Alter Ego: The Gatekeeper Valkyrie of the Purgatory Division of Valhalla. George was in deep doo-doo.

~ The End: Grrr, howell*, woof-woof! ~