Wes and Alice

Ray, Herb (one of my lovers,) and I went out to dinner together.

We ordered our food, and before our food came, I had to pee. So, I went to the lady's room. The lady's room had two stalls. Luckily one of them was open.

There was another woman in the restroom, as well. As we were washing our hands, this woman noticed the tattoo on my wrist and said she liked it.

Then she asked if she could ask me something about my tattoo. I told her sure. She then asked me, "Is that a queen of spades symbol I see?"

I nodded.

Then she asked, "Does that mean what I think it means?"

I told her, "It means that I prefer black men."

Then she asked me, "You're married to a white man, though. Right?"

I told her I was.

Then she told me her name was Alice.

I introduced myself.

Alice told me she and her husband, Wes, were talking about opening their relationship, at least on her side.

I nodded, "Uh-huh."

Alice told me she noticed three of us at the table, but only two were wearing wedding rings.

I told Alice Ray was my husband. The other guy was a lover of mine.

Alice told me she didn't want to take up all my time and asked if we could exchange numbers and talk another time.

I told Alice we weren't in a hurry, and if she and Wes wanted to sit with the three of us, they could.

Alice told me she didn't want them to impose.

I told Alice if she and Wes were talking about opening their marriage, we might be able to answer questions they may have.

When we left the lady's room, We returned to our tables.

I was beginning to tell Herb and Ray about Alice and Wes when they walked over to our table, coffee cups in hand.

When Alice and Wes sat down with us, I introduced them to Herb and Ray. And I told them that Alice and Wes were talking about opening their marriage, at least on Alice's side.

Ray said, "That's awesome."

Herb said, "Good for you two."

I told Alice and Wes that Ray and I had been married and had an open marriage for close to thirty-two years. And I informed them that Herb had been in the lifestyle for about two years.

Ray asked Alice and Wes how long they'd been considering opening their marriage.

Wes said, "We started talking about it about four years ago."

Alice shyly told us, "It was after I'd had an affair."

Wes stated, "I told her that she didn't have to end it."

Alice interjected, "I started feeling guilty."

I asked Alice, "You had an affair. So, you decided to open your marriage?"

Wes said, "We had issues at the time, but it wasn't because she had an affair."

Alice told us, "I felt Wes was emotionally distant. So, I found a man that fulfilled me in ways that Wes wasn't. And it turned sexual."

I told Alice and Wes that I thought it was great that they stayed together even though Alice had an affair.

Alice and Wes said, in tandem, "We love each other."

Alice told me had she not had an affair, she and Wes probably never would have talked about opening their marriage.

I asked them how Alice's affair helped them.

Wes told me, "If Alice had never had her affair, there would have never been a reason for us to talk about mine or her fantasies."

I looked at them, a little confused.

Alice told me, "Wes had fantasies of me having sex with other men."

"And she was doing it," Wes said. "I didn't want her to call it off, but her lover's wife was her best friend."

Alice told me, "I'm not good at keeping secrets, or best friends for that matter."

I asked Alice if the affair ruined the friendship she had with her lover's wife.

Alice told me, "We're still friends, but it's hard to be around her or the two of them when I was having an affair with her husband."

I told Alice, "It gets easier." I added, "We believe that sex is something you should be able to do with friends."

I also told Alice, "There had to be a reason why he had an affair with you."

"My friend's husband?" Alice asked.

I nodded.

Alice said, "Lisa asked him why he couldn't love her without having to have sex with her."

Herb asked what that meant.

Alice responded, "Mark is a very sensual and sexual man. Lisa feels that Mark only wants her for sex."

Herb commented, "So, you and Mark have been good for each other."

Alice answered, "In a way. Yes."

Alice told us when Wes found out that she and Mark were having an affair, they started communicating more.

Wes said, "It was because of her affair with Mark that we were able to talk about what Alice felt was missing in our relationship, and I was able to tell her why I was so distant."

Ray told Alice and Wes, "I've always believed having sex outside of your marriage can be beneficial to your marriage."

Alice asked Ray why.

Ray explained, "A marriage is like a muscle. When you have sex outside of marriage, you are strengthening that muscle. Consider if you lifted weights. If you train every day, with little to no resistance, you're not accomplishing much. Your muscles will be weak if you don't add resistance."

I interrupted, "What Ray's saying is having sex with others can build trust and increase love and communication."

Wes said he agreed.

"So," I said to Alice, "I think we can safely say that you're not opposed to having sex with other men."

"I'm not," Alice responded.

I told Alice, "That's a good start." I added, "Now we have to find out why you felt guilty having sex with Mark."

Alice assured me, "It wasn't guilt because I was having sex with Mark. It was because Lisa is my best friend."

Herb asked Alice what Mark told her when she said they had to stop seeing each other.

Alice sighed, "He wasn't happy. And since we stopped seeing each other, his marriage hasn't gotten any better."

Herb asked, "So, do you think you and Mark having sex helped his and Lisa's marriage?"

Alice said, "He wasn't wanting or asking for sex from Lisa as often. She was happier. He was happier." Alice paused, then said, "Now that I think about it, maybe our affair did help their marriage."

I told Alice, "Sexual guilt can severely impact you and deteriorate the relationships of those close to you." I added, "There was no reason for you to feel guilty because you made their marriage better by having sex with Mark."

Alice told me she never thought about it that way.

I told Alice that we, especially here in America, have to retrain ourselves and not feel guilty for doing what other people are too afraid to do.

Ray told Alice and Wes, "Society says that monogamy is the gold standard. Yet, more than fifty percent of monogamous marriages end in divorce."

I added, "I don't think monogamy is natural. Just because you get married, it doesn't mean you stop finding other people attractive."

Ray asked Wes and Alice, "Do you think that any single person can fulfill all of your wants and needs?"

Alice shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head, "I think we know the answer to that one."

Herb asked Wes what happened, in his head, when he found out that Alice and Mark were having an affair.

Wes told Herb, "I felt like doors were opening." Wes added, "Knowing that Alice would have sex with another man helped me not to feel so guilty for wanting her to. And it prompted me to talk to her about my fantasies."

I asked Alice how that turned out.

Alice looked at Wes and smiled. Alice told me, "I have to admit I was shocked when he asked me if I would ever consider having sex with another man."

I replied, "I bet."

Alice told me, "I didn't admit to having an affair. But I did ask him why he asked."

Wes added, "I told Alice that I'd had fantasies of her having sex with another man. And the thought of it turned me on."

Alice told me, "I told Wes that was something we needed to talk more about." She added, "I assured Wes that I wasn't against the idea of having sex with another man, but that was something we needed to talk a lot more about."

Wes smiled, "And four years later, here we are."

Alice told me, "When I saw your tattoo, I knew I needed to talk to you."

Herb told Alice, "It was Amber's tattoo that caught my eye, too. It was also the reason I wanted to talk to her."

I looked at my tattoo, "Well, other than I like it, that's why I got it."

Wes told me that it was a bold thing to do, to have a large queen of spades tattoo on my wrist.

I told Wes that guilt and shame weren't things that I felt. And I was proud of who I was.

Our server brought Wes and Alice's food first. They were there when we arrived. So, it made sense.

Alice had ordered the Mediterranean Grilled Chicken Dinner.

Wes ordered the crazy spice sizzlin' skillet. Both their dinners looked delicious.

Our server brought our dinners shortly afterward.

I'd ordered the slow-cooked pot roast.

Herb ordered the Brooklyn Spaghetti and meatballs.

And Ray ordered his usual, The Classic Grand Slam, with a chocolate shake.

Alice looked at everyone's food and stated, "It looks like we have varied tastes at this table."

I told Alice that Ray could eat breakfast three times a day, every day.

Ray said, "Breakfast usually doesn't include veggies."

I told Alice and Wes that Ray was not into salads or most anything that included vegetables.

Alice said, "To each their own."

We all sat silently for about five minutes. Then Alice asked me, "So, to stay on topic, kind of, what was it like the first time you had sex with a black man?"

I smiled, "The first time I had sex with a black man was my first time with any man. And it was on my wedding night."

Wes asked if this was from a previous marriage. I shook my head.

Alice said, "Oh. So, you guys have had an open marriage from the start."

I nodded, "The guy was one of my sister-in-law's lovers."

Alice looked at Wes then at me, "So, your brother and sister-in-law were swingers."

I nodded again, then I told Alice, "My mother had a boyfriend. My brother and his wife were swingers. So, they were very accepting and understanding.

Alice looked at Ray, "And you?"

Ray was caught off guard, "Sorry. What?"

Alice asked Ray, "And what about your upbringing?"

Ray sighed, "My mother hated sex. She told me my father was too rough with her, and she didn't like sex because of that."

Alice looked at me, then at Wes, then at Ray, "And?"

Ray continued, "My family was very churchy. But we lived right behind a topless bar, an adult arcade, and a free clinic. So, I grew up hearing that sex was bad, but I saw people having sex, and they didn't seem to think anything bad about it. So, my sex education came from seeing guys getting blow jobs in the parking lot and by sneaking into the adult arcade and watching movies with other guys."

Alice said, "Wow! That was quite the upbringing you had."

Ray told Alice, "It was tough living behind the topless bar and the adult arcade, and also living right across the street from the church." Ray added, "I got a lot of conflicting messages."

We all ate in silence for a few more minutes, then Alice stated, "So, both you and Ray grew up in very sexually charged environments." Then she asked Herb, "What about you?"

Herb answered, "Oddly, my dad's a pastor. So, I grew up kind of churchy, too."

"But," Alice said, "You still got into being with other men's wives."

Herb looked at me, then at Alice, "Amber is only the second wife I've ever been with."

Alice asked Herb, "Do your parents know about your lifestyle?"

Herb laughed, "If they ever found out, they'd lecture me on the wages of my sins."

Wes ate and sipped his coffee. Then he finally joined the conversation again. He asked Herb, "So, what's it like to have sex with another man's wife?"

Herb smiled, "Imagine having your birthday and Christmas . . . and you win the lottery."

I looked at Herb, "That's so sweet."

I asked Wes and Alice where they wanted to go from here.

Wes said, "I think Alice and Mark should see each other again."

Alice shook her head, "No, He's seeing someone else."

Wes looked at Alice, shocked, "You're kidding. Who?"

Alice looked down at her food, then told Wes, "He's seeing someone that works at his office."

Ray interjected, "See? Mark is sleeping with another woman. If it wasn't you, it was going to be someone." Ray added, "You felt guilty for having sex with him, and now someone else is sleeping with him. And she probably doesn't feel guilty about it."

Alice shook her head, "She doesn't. She sleeps with most anyone and everyone."

Ray asked Alice how she knew this.

Alice sipped her coffee, then said, "She and I used to work together, and she slept with almost every guy in our office."

Wes asked Alice, "Were you ever attracted to any of the guys she slept with?"

Alice smirked, "You know I was."

"Oh, shit," Wes exclaimed, "Kyle. Right?"

Alice told me, "Kyle was this muscle guy. He had it all. I wanted him so bad."

I put my hand on Alice's hand, "And he slept with this woman that Mark is sleeping with now."

Alice nodded.

***

I told Alice that Ray had something like that once. I told her that Ray was doing training at work, and there was this woman, half his age, that said she wasn't really into older men, but she would sleep with him.

Wes smiled, "And?"

I told Alice and Wes that Ray and Amy spent a lot of time together, and they talked about other guys she'd had. She wore sort dresses, had a cute body, and she was 25 years younger than him.

Wes asked, "So, what happened?"

"Well," I said, "We all met at McDonald's one day, she met me. And that was pretty much it."

Wes asked Ray, "Did you ever kiss her? Do anything with her?"

Ray shook his head, "I'm sure I may have missed some clues. We did kiss once, and that was awkward. And she did let me finger her once. But it never turned out to much more."

Wes told Ray that was sad.

Ray responded, "Hey, at least she would have slept with me, and she did let me finger her."

Herb added, "That's more than nothing."

Alice asked Ray, "Did you see her again after that?"

Ray told Alice, "She was on my team. I was her Team Lead."

"So, you saw her most every day, then?"

Ray nodded, "I did. And, I got to see her with another guy on our team, in the back of his Suburban."

Wes exclaimed, "Oooh, that had to hurt."

Ray answered, "It was a drag, for sure. But getting to watch them made it all worth it, though."

"So," Alice said to Ray, "Wes wants to watch me. He knows that I've been with Mark, and he wants me to get with him again, but what's it like to watch Amber? I mean, what goes through your head? What does it do to you? Does it turn you on? What?"

Ray told Alice, "When Amber has sex with someone else, she is doing it because she knows that it makes me feel loved by her." Ray added, "It may seem strange, but I feel most loved by Amber when she is with another man."

Wes questioned, "Like she's putting your wants and needs first by having sex with other men?"

Ray nodded, "Pretty much."

Alice asked how that made any sense.

Ray answered, "When it comes to sex, what does make sense?"

Alice shook her head, "I don't think so. You're not getting off that easy." She then asked, "What about Amber being with other men makes you feel loved by her?"

Ray sighed, sipped on his shake, then said, "There's something beautiful about seeing Amber go down on another man. I like seeing the smile on her face as she gets the guys hard. I like seeing the guys get all excited. And it's exciting to see how the guys react to Amber."

Alice asked me, "And how does it make you feel that Ray gets excited seeing you with other men?"

I smiled, "I know it makes him happy. So, I do it often because if it makes him feel loved. Why not?"

Alice thought for a moment, then asked me, "How does Ray make you feel loved by him?"

I quickly answered, "Ray supports me. He treats me like a queen. His only real goal in life is making me happy."

Alice asked, "And does he?"

I didn't answer right away. I ate and smiled.

Alice pressed, "Amber?"

I swallowed, sipped on my soda. Then I answered, "There are times when I wish that Ray was more like other men."

Alice asked, "Like how?"

I looked at Ray, then told Alice, "I wish he'd let me do more for him."

Ray stated, "I won't ask anyone for anything."

"So," I told Alice, "I do for other men because they let me."

Alice looked at Wes and patted his leg, "I'm always telling Wes that he's not an island. He's so self-sufficient, so much so that I often feel unwanted."

I smiled, "And that's what other men are good for."

***

"You like sex, don't you, Ray?" Alice asked.

Ray nodded, "I do. A lot. I just won't ask for it."

Alice asked Ray why not.

Ray finished the last bite of his pancake, "I feel if it's supposed to happen, it will."

I added, "Yeah. Ray's not big on initiating sex."

Alice asked me, "Do you still enjoy sex with Ray?"

I sighed, "When every time you have sex with a guy and all he does is apologize, it's not worth the trouble."

"Apologize for what?" Alice asked.

I told Alice, "When Ray and I fuck, he takes a while to get it up. And then, once he gets it up, he gets off in very few strokes. Then he apologizes profusely. No one wants to have sex with a man who apologizes for enjoying sex, even if he gets off sooner than he wants to."

Alice nodded, "I can see that."

I stated, "That's why sex is what other men are for."

Alice looked at Herb and asked, "That's where you come in. Huh?"

Herb cleared his throat, "I guess so."

I told Alice, "Herb's figured it out. You make a woman happy, and she's going to be more than willing to make you happy." I added, "Men like Herb let me love them. And, in return, I do as much as I can for them."

"If Ray did the same thing," Alice asked, "would you want sex with him more often?"

I shook my head, "He'd have to stop feeling guilty for wanting sex and stop getting so hung up on how long he lasts."

Alice asked Ray, "Do you always cum fast?"

I interrupted, "It's only with me."

Alice looked at me, puzzled.

I told Alice about when Ray was dating Dubie. I told her about when Ray lasted so long that he fucked the shit out of Dubie. Literally.

Ray chuckled, "Yeah. It's kind of important to douche if you're going to do anal for a long time."

"So," Alice asked Ray, "With Dubie, you had no problem staying hard?"

Ray answered, "Not with Cheryle or Anne or Christine or Teri, either."

Alice was confused.

I explained, "Ray has no problem staying hard for other women. It just happens when he's with me. He takes forever to get hard, and then he gets off in seconds. Other women have called him the Energizer Bunny."

Alice asked me how that made me feel.

"I just keep hoping that a day will come when Ray doesn't feel guilty for wanting sex with me."

***

Alice finished her coffee and asked the server for some more. Then she asked Ray, "Why do you feel guilty for wanting to have sex with

Amber?"

Ray didn't say anything for a moment. Then he told Alice, "I want things that I probably shouldn't want. And I'm not going to put Amber in a position where she feels she has to do something for me."

"But she's your wife."

Ray said, "I know. But I just can't. It's not who I am. And I won't do that to her."

"But what if she wants to?"

Ray answered, "If it's meant to happen, it will happen."

Alice told Ray, "There's nothing wrong with asking for what you want."

I added, "You can't get what you don't ask for."

***

Alice mentioned that she thought that people like us who'd been in the lifestyle so long would have had everything figured out.

I told Alice that no one ever has it all figured out. You do what you can with what you have.

Wes asked me if I regretted anything.

I told him, "I didn't know Ray when I married him. Maybe I shouldn't have married him as quickly as I did, but I don't regret doing it."