All Comments on 'Westrons Pt. 29'

to see this new addition. :)

You described the battle well and even slaked Yna's bloodthirst. I thought you'd wound Tudino again, but not amputate one hand. :(

Feels like peace, but yet doesn't. You've left some room for the "ambitious" to climb the ranks in the Westron army and some room for Westron/Penchen relations to blossom. I'm just not sure where you're going from here, since if only half the Crolian army's gone, that still leaves 20K to fool with, although seemingly without a single capable commander. It felt more like a dominating win than a crushing defeat though.

I still rate it a 5 for the detailed description, but this is probably the first chapter where there doesn't seem to be a clear-cut direction to go next. I'm eagerly anticipating the next installment though. :)

I am almost speechless!!!

Most assuredly I shall miss this story once,it ends.

Please Sir? May we please have a happy ending for all the main characters?

Thanks in advance.

Th k you for an excellent story.

but I had to read slowly, lay out diagrams, and go step by step to clarify the battle.

Any chance you could introduce someone who can sketch out maps to the General's staff? And then include them for future battles or marches?

Again, I could almost smell the gunpowder and feel the concussion of the guns. You pack an impressive amount of action in a 2-page chapter.

I’m sure there’s an intriguing story about how Ellem Anry managed to hold power after losing the war so succinctly. Maybe there were no rivals left by that point.

If the war is finally over and Cook is retired, I wonder where this story will go. I have a few ideas, but I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ve come up with. Endings can be difficult.

"a sizeable chunk of territory" is not enough. They have the Crolians on the back-foot. The remaining lords/monarchy become vassals and every single fucking Crolian in existence becomes a Westron subject and ANY Crolian found to have consumed a Westron is to be flayed alive in public.

Might seem a bit extreme, but the fact that one of them kept a kid's left in his pack for rations burned out any possible consideration I might have had for them. Given that the Westrons have to opportunity to wipe out the Crolians as a species at the moment, it's the time to press their advantage.

Also recognisation of Woles, Pylosians and any other non-Crolians as an equivalent people to the Westrons and subject to the same laws and rights within Westron borders would do wonders.

The title of this comment says it all. " If you're waiting for 100% of the population to appreciate what you've achieved ... don't hold your breath. "

True and true.

The mistakes in my previous comment were a product of the gin I had been consuming. I was quite impassioned as well :)

Wonderful story! I can't wait to read some of your others! Thank you for sharing them.

DJ

I am not entirely sure where the main action took place. Peak Hill is described as being 3000 yards west of the village on the southern side of the Oblion river? Mallet Hill is somewhere south east of Peak Hill, closer to but still west of the village maybe? Big enough for 6 regiments on the hill and 6 regiments of Penchens in between? Why was Mallet Hill chosen anyway?

What's an echelon formation and why would you use it? How many cannons in a battery, how many were there all together? This would help to give a picture of an overwhelming force. It was also not always clear what was firing in a "volley", cannons or muskets?

Still good chapter but given this battle is the climax to the whole story perhaps a more extensive coverage of the leadup to and the battle itself would add to the story (as an aside I cannot imagine the job of disposing of 10000+ bodies).

During one of Cook's and Talley's first conversations, Talley said that there were still a few humans on the planet, just none in westron. Mostly minor prospecting and research assignments. It wouldn't surprise me if the Crolian king decided to question some of them about Cook and Pylosia. Or even torture them. Or what if they come looking for Cook themselves, deciding he's interfering with their plans?