All Comments on 'What a Mistake to Make'

Short ,sharp and to the point

The thing that I have found about alleged "alpha males", is that they always have others with them to do the hard stuff, like deal with a husband who does not like the attention being paid to their spouse. They don't understand that a man who is quiet or laid back is not necessarily a weak man. In fact, he may be very, very dangerous. This story was short, concise and to the point. I like it a lot.

Liked both parts... and THAT was a "Loving Wife" !

Babayaga Bond Mr Wick 😎

Would have made a great story.

750 word stories are like finding 1 page of a diary, extremely frustrating.

Good, but much too short.

My my, he is quick to anger. Too bad Money Pockets didn’t do his homework first.

I just wish it was longer.

After a quick phone call to his boss the company is raided by the FBI, IRS...

Heads roll...

Appropriate responses from a loving wife and her loving husband. It should be totally legal to respond in this way. It would stop a lot of a$$-foolery from self important weasels.

Anonymousabout 4 hours ago

"The truth is my squad handle is 'The Dentist' because I'm good at extraction, but it is not something I share."

- That sentence doesn't make much sense. He shares it and then says he doesn't share it. If he really didn't share, he would have said something like, "No, that's just my nickname."———

He didn't share that. Read it again and you will see he only says "Not quite." The rest was his own personal narration, 'in his head' as it were. It helped explain the rationale for his squad handle to the reader.

Loved the 2 story angle. *5*

I usually think 750 word stories don't cover it, but I liked it alot!

I second what the Bear said....5*

Thanx!

Loklie

Almost hilarious: thousands of multi-page cuck tales almost never reaching the four stars, with many under the very low three stars, and this very short one page BTB tale immediately reach not only the 4+ stars, but even the almost impossible big red H. It seems that the vast majority of the LW writers want to push femdom-cuck-raac tales at any cost, while the vast majority of the LW readers hate them very much. So, a good welcome to the few 5% anti-cuck tales. Good job, but next tale will need a few more pages.

I like your 1500 words, and enjoyed the way the n'er-do-wells get theirs so immediately.

A fun quickie!

Ok. Everyone repeat after me " it's only a fictional story"

Short and to the point, both views. Loved it.

Bravo Zulu

I'm smiling

Ok, that was so good, gotta go check out your other stuff

Ok, nothing special.

I think Laura should have slapped the bahgeezus out of Silvia before crossing the floor to her husband. Just a thought.

It was kind of funny. You know, this does bring up a good point - are all those "loving wives" that cheat on their ex-special forces/navy seal/cia husbands insane or something?

That was fun.

The finest dental work makes the best smiles. That was fun seeing it from two angles.

Amusing

Thanks for writing

rubbish

Fun. I would have liked two additional things. I wanted Julia to knock Silvia's block off, or at least give her a bloody nose. And I would like to know if Jenson died.

Nicely done. Very amusing.

Would like to see this story expanded to to include the aftermath with DAD and following a legal mess.

like in we'll put you in jail, Just wait until after I call my friend the President...

Don't write dumb 750 word loving wifestories... it's beneath you... in fact, 750 word loving wife stories are beneath any writer. 1⭐

Good quick story. Difficult to get much in with only 750 words to play with.

Decent beginning. Alas it (the story) ended before it really started moving.

Both very readable but not a patch on your other three incredible stories.

Awesome!!!!

750-word stories are ok, but this should be a full story. Bring these characters back in a longer story.

Just fucking awesome. That’s what I’m talkin bout.

alpha male has plans for ALPHA female.

alpha male and two betas meet ALPHA male.

alpha male ends up on the ground, his balls pretty much ruined. His two betas, downed as well.

ALPHA male enjoys the rest of his date with his ALPHA female.

5 Stars on this one . I have seen Special Forces in action and I am glad they are on Our side

This story has to be expanded to at least 3 chapters, I just love it!!!

5 Stars. I agree with ScorpioJJ that this should be made into a longer story. Some added details, and a few other things and you could have a real good story on your hands, using this 750 word story as a base to work off of. I've read worse stories and they weren't 750 word stories to start with. And as long as the good guy wins, that's all that counts.

5 stars, wish it could be more. Poor Jason..... umm Jimmy... ummmm oh that's right Jenson. It really is hell when you meet reality. Wish it was longer so we could see the little boy cry over his sudden epiphany.

Wonderful! - 5*

Wouldn't have to be "the dentist" to react like that.

Thanks for a well-written and fun read! Nice job!

Nice.

Nicely done. A novel approach that works really well. Excellent pair of stories. BardnotBard

Like it but would have liked more,makings of a good story

Didn't need to be longer. Thanks.

Okay, this was good. I know you wrote you wouldn't do this again, but I would really like to see the full story, please! 2 750's is better than 1, but a full story would be better.

love it; I do so love superiority being taken down.

Nice, but not everyone has special operations skills. What every free man can do, is carry a firearm. If your goon moves into my personal space, both him and you are going to be on the floor dying, wondering what just happened!

/

ZK

That's the way these encounters should always go.

A four instead of a five because its not only not over, its just beginning. The goons not totally incapacitated will get back up, requiring more focused attention. Even after he wins the fight the cops will arrive, and Everyone in the room, loyal subjects to the assholes they work for, will testify that the husband started the fight with the owner's son then also attacked the two body guards. The wife didn't see or hear a thing, so she can't even be at least One witness to counter the dozens that will claim the husband was the aggressor. Of course the consort women from the Ladies room will deny everything the wife claims they said to her. They might even claim the wife complained to them about her husband's anger issues and violent nature. Whatever. They are a firm of Lawyers, and they know how to play the game.

\

With the husband's pull he might get off with the Firm claiming it was all just a big misunderstanding. That it is a company tradition for the owner's son to honor one of the wives with the first dance. Any claim to more will be portrayed as ridiculous, which to anyone outside the firm will agree sounds ridiculous. No, this story was not over where you ended it, not by a long shot. Maybe someone will finish it?

4 stars. 750 doesn't allow the bones to be properly fleshed out most times.

Sorry you need to flesh this out, I really need to see the weasel begging and crying as he sees his gym

Muscles wither as a soldier undoes his manhood. Then when he is on floor a nice piss upon his tux

Great story

Self important only important if the better man doesn't run into you

Amusing. Unfortunately, folks "assume" that everyone plays by the same rules.

Who does not love a good rousing story about a predator getting turnabout? Now if it could only happen across our species.

Surprisingly, I gave this 750 five stars. Just about as good as a 750 could be.

/

JPB NOT BOB

I have to add that this 750 has the bones for a more complete tale. I would like to read it.

/

JPB NOT BOB

I think I admire the approach of a happy couple! I do like rough justice.

Two fun 750 word stories. I enjoyed both.