All Comments on 'What I Think of You Pt. 04'

I love the depth, detail and backgroud you are putting into your story. But I am having two problems with the story. Everyone except Alex and Oliva seem to be complete and utter deviants who relish is destroying other people for their enjoyment. Additionally, how many of your Chatacters have F sized or close breasts? A woman doesnt have to have ungodly sized breasts to be sexy and beautiful and do you have any clue of the ODDS of multiple women being so naturally endowed? This is fantasy and erotica, all true. However, when you write an otherwise excellent stroy it really does tend to leave a bad taste in your mouth/ mind when everything else is so well done.

I'm going to have to parrot the other comment here. Let's be more realistic with the normal humans body descriptions. An Asian girl with F tits is ridiculous. Just based on her name I'm picturing a girl who is 4'11 98lbs and B tits that don't require a bra. Maybe work in bush and pussy descriptions as well. Still need to dial back the crazy a bit, even if Alex was doing this accidentally.

Enjoy the story. Some editing is needed tho. Mixed names in some scenarios, misspelled words or improper usage. Structure and POVs are confusingly blended. Can't wait to see how this story turns out in the end. If you need help editing. Reach out

Author here, thank you for your comments, directly addressing the comment above me, yeah, I made a mistake with Yoshiko's breast size, I'll probably lower than down to more expected levels, and lampshade the change. Thank you for your thoughts, and to anyone reading this who like's to lurk in the comments, please comment, I'd love to hear your thoughts. (You

Great story! I've come around on Yoshiko, the way she turned Rebecca into Jiggly was sublime!

Good story love it keep it up just a tip use grammarly to help do spelling and grammar check nothing to to crazy but a small amount . Excited to see the next part of the story