What it Takes Pt. 02

"So, no work tomorrow. Want to just relax here or go out somewhere?"

"I've been going out constantly. And here I can fucking breathe. So yeah we're staying in! Maybe watch a movie or just... relax. We can just chill to our own things together."

"Thought that when we're together we kinda have to do everything together."

"Pffft. No we don't! You can see to your stuff, I see to mine. We get bored of each other if we just keep staying glued to each other. A bit of time to breathe before coming together again. And you can stare at me going naked around the place."

He had a very pleased smile. The relationship sounded to go in better places than he believed it might. Jack imagined that he'd have to constantly please a woman to have her stay with him, leaving as soon as he was outdone. There was reason for it as it happened already to the boy. But this girl was different.

"You plan to go out and give some fun to some more boys?"

"Not these two days. I took them off, including that. But might, soon enough. And not gonna give them this. Just a nice blowjob, maybe some sex... some care here and there."

"Still feels like maybe that is going there, but I want to at least try. But it does make me confident to know I have you all to myself now."

Her turn to smile. The beer could just evaporate as conversation got deeper. Eventually there was barely any as the two got rather tipsy. Bed was close enough and they could stumble in to sleep naked under his covers, holding each other sloppily, but with great intent of care, some odd kiss given in the euphoria of inebriation.

Once the room stopped spinning the two would slip away and slumber.

*

For a while, some of her dreams have followed a theme. Eva is out in public, but the people are just blobs of darkness. Among them she can see a few normal looking humans, but the rest are shadows ranging from dark gray to pitch black. Their words are understandable but garbled.

She was in a sports bar, one that the girl could remember from a while ago. The events felt like a replay. Looking around for people that actually have color to them. And some of the others would approach and try to give her the same old tricks.

"A drink for the lady." Was said by a figure standing next to her table, his form just a dark cloud.

"I'm not interested."

"I wasn't asking you. Coming in here, showing off... you want this."

"Don't fucking want you. Go away."

"You think you're fooling anyone? We all know you're just a slut asking for it. Now be a good one and bend over."

Eva stood up to be in their face, even if that face was just blackness she stared into.

"Think you can get away with something like that? Cops will take you away."

"No, they won't. Right, officer?"

That was not how things went. Into the bar came a pair of black figures, yet somehow the girl knew they wore a uniform. Stepping over to them, the beat cops looked at the interaction.

"Man's right. You come in here, you play by our rules. So high and mighty that you can do things better. You don't know anything. Now sit down before we take you in and show you what bad girls get."

There was a different rage inside her now. The kind that steadies hands and focuses the mind. She did not need to look to her side to be aware of her beer bottle... just a quick movement to reach over to it and make it connect with the official's face, the force knocking him over and breaking it in two. She now had a broken bottle that spared no moment to drive across the first guy's throat. And finally a stab of the partner of the cop, just as they were reaching for their weapon.

A gun was wrestled out of that one's hand as the other black figures in the establishment rose and turned towards her. Those she struck were already grasping at her. One shot to the cop's face to make him disperse, the cloud of black going away to finally show the face of the person... her arm was grabbed by the would-be casanova... another shot to him. Just a guy in fancy clothes and a carefully trimmed look. When the last aggressor got it she finally noticed the partner was a woman... long and black hair, slim features.

But now the others were turning towards her... her new gun was aimed in their direction. Even with the other weapon there were too many. She ran out of the place and around were still the beings of darkness. The normal people were ignoring them and her, but they all unified against her. She was a threat to them all and had to be removed. No... she had to keep running.

The streets of the entertainment district were packed, and rarely had one a chance to be alone. A few more in her path were taken down to have people left behind, as if monsters were hiding in the herd, leaving behind evidence only of her crime and not theirs. Too many. She came to a stop as at an intersection there was a literal crowd looking her way. Eva imagined that they would tear her apart like wild beasts. And then a voice came out.

"She is mine and not yours."

Turning, the girl expected to see something worse. No... the voice was clear. The person was well defined. Even more... Jack was practically emanating light. His hand held that knife as he came to her to stand between the girl and the crowd.

"I got your back."

For once she felt hope as the two could guard each other against the world. His slashes at each made another fall, her shots were unending as Eva covered the back. Turning in sync, fighting as one until there was none left with her. And she finally looked back to the man who seemed to shine even more. They were naked now, and yet that was not a problem.

"We can do anything together. Against them. Against everyone. This world will not make us bend. But we will make it kneel."

And she could believe it. Her dream boyfriend was valiant in ways he was probably not in real life. Still, it was comforting. She could walk hand in hand through this world of dark people, able to take them down with him by her side.

"It's painful, isn't it? This place. All of these people just seeking their own way to destroy each other." His words came straight at her as they went through the streets wearing nothing.

"Tiring. Stupid. A thousand things. Always more. When do they end?"

"They end when you stop them."

"I am... one by one. But always more. Always more stupidity and pain and.... Ugh. This world can't be fixed. They're outright rejecting us. Thinking they know better."

"And you do know better. You can make this better if you are stronger. Able to just fix all of it."

"We're trying. Even the outsider could not make this place give up on it."

"What if you could do what he does? Take over this place and show it the way?"

"I... don't know. But he tried and failed. How could I do better?"

"Because he didn't want that. Just to rage at the world. He could have made it all good forever. And he is not. Someone needs to step up. Why not you?"

She had to pause. Why not her? This dream felt more than it was. But if there was a way... Eva would want to take this all away.

"I'm standing up. I can do more."

"Good. Think on it. Does this world have hope... or do you have to take matters into your own hands?"

The next moment she awoke with a start. The man was in her embrace, the dim light outlining his features. Four AM. It felt so real. And he felt different. But... the temptation to be able to do more was there. This felt like an uphill battle, with not even the peak in sight.

There had to be an easier way.

*

Eva was not having an easy morning, so the man went into the kitchen to get the morning brew ready. Or almost morning. It was just past ten. While she was in the bathroom, taking care of the first piss of the day that she was so damn straightforward about... even invited him to watch... Jack could get to this weird recipe. Not that it was too different. Just make coffee as he would, adding some spice in to give it some extra kick. Equally he was not looking forward to trying it and curious what the hell it was.

He'd send her over to the balcony for the early smoke while the man brought the cups over. One for her, one for him. Coffee, sugar, milk and some added hotness. Since it was added in before boiling it had time to spread around. There was nothing to hint at it, though this was the sort of thing that felt like a prank.

"Thanks." She let out before starting to sip from the steaming cup, the man following with a taste of the contents.

It bore the taste of coffee, but the added spice of some ground chili peppers. Just a bit to give it a nice infusion of heat. Both the power of caffeine and the waking power of a burning mouth. Eva noticed that it was not just the warmth of the item to linger in her and gave him a questioning gaze. And a warm smile.

"Did you try to imitate kahve?"

"Bet I got it wrong. For a lot of reasons."

"Tastes nothing like it. This is just spicy coffee!" Beat. "And I don't like kahve."

The kahve plant was found on that particular world. Both caffeine and capsaicin are used by plants to deter animals eating them... this plant was paranoid enough to develop both at once. Its grains could be stewed to draw those out into a beverage of combined power to wake a man.

"Must look like an idiot now." Beat. "Yeah, I don't see the charm either."

And yet she took another sip while looking down and smiling. It was a nice gesture.

"My dad likes it. Always did. Wanted one day to try it and... he let me. I was young and stupid and it burned before making me go all hyper. Hated it since. But him... there would always be that smell of it in the morning to let me know he was there. That slightly off scent that pricked at the nose that made me both glad and displeased."

Despite the bad execution, his girlfriend looked happy. But she just kept looking down at the cup. Jack could tell how she was actually becoming sad.

"Is this all I have left? Just thinking back on what I had? Fucking nothing here is enjoyable." Beat. "Uh, except you... but... THE FUCKING REST OF IT... is just..." A deep sigh. "What am I even doing? Why am I trying? These people don't want to change and the only good people here are those who stand against the norm."

He could not stand there and let her be sad, placing his container down to go over to her and let a hand on her shoulder. If she did not hold that cup Jack would have dragged her into a hug.

"I know it feels hopeless, but don't despair. There are good things out here. Yes, not as many... but we try. Some of us are trying when the rest are just..."

"Lazy, prideful, stupid... think they know better when this place is eating itself."

Finally she placed that down to let him hug her properly. Actual tears started to come out. He'd hold her until it passed, leaning against the railing to give her all the support he could.

"Yes, they are that. But you can't let those people put you down. You really know better and have seen what can be done. They just don't want it because it's not an immediate reward in line with what they think. But I think... sometimes in the future, if this works... people will look to those like you as proper saviors."

"Or they'll badmouth us to look better. Always an angle, an agenda or some fucked up direction. Every fucking man for himself. It's tiring! I'm giving of myself and people just want to take instead of learning. I'm gonna run out eventually."

"Wish I had some wisdom to give. But... I believe you are making a difference. And you can't see it yet. And that's why you think this is dumb. Same reason they don't want it."

There was a slightly more aggressive squeeze for her being compared to these idiots, but she had to relent and pat his back. The man was right. This could take years. She just kept sobbing to let out this tension that had been building... now that she had somewhere to really let go. No more words for now.

She needed a longer recovery so they moved inside for that hug to continue, just having the girl unload her sorrow. For a bit, she did feel like a spoiled child that finally saw how bad it is out here. And then came some realization.

"I must look pathetic. You've been here all your life. Probably had worse than this and... I've just been a few months and I'm breaking down. You should be the one crying."

"We learn to deal with it. And men don't cry."

"Yes they do! Basic fucking human emotion. It's how you ask for help."

"And we're taught not to do it. That we just... go on without it."

"Go on without fucking anyone helping you. Anyone wanting to help you. This is why this place is so fucked. None of you want to help each other."

Eve looked up at him with puffy eyes, remembering what they agreed to do.

"You can do it with me. Come on. At least show me I can bear this fucking nightmare planet."

"Sorry, just... ain't coming out. Especially with women. They hate it when men are emotional."

Her hand came up from behind him to pound on his chest. A bit painful, but not more than a suggestion to fess up.

"THEY ARE STUPID! Come on! I want to help! I am here for you... can't fucking do it if you won't ask." Somehow that made her cry again, and her next words were far more quiet. "I am not like them and want to be here for you. If I run away at that... might as well cut off my tits and leave me to the wolves. No fucking use. So... please."

No matter how much he struggled, that behavior was deeply conditioned. Man even got punished for crying at times. Nothing but sighs and pursed lips. She had to pull it out of him.

"You've been here all alone for years. Parents who just push you, teachers who want to rule you, friends who want to use you for what they could. Women that just want to enslave you. It's fucking hell. It's torture. What point is there to it all? Why do you still listen to what they tell you? Nobody here cares. You owe them nothing. You fought for everything and barely got half of what you deserved. So let go. They and all their words mean nothing. Tell me... and I will be here for you."

The breaths got harder as she enacted this breaking speech. Maybe not fully true, but close enough to hit the mark. So many times he was cheated, so many times he worked for nothing but another's pleasure. So many years that he waded through this pool of filth to just LIVE. It was tiring. Life was tiring here. Why so many people killed themselves.

And eventually, he decided to give up on more of his learned behavior for her. It was indeed difficult for him to push past this boundary. To do something he knew might turn badly elsewhere. But he trusted her. And began to silently cry. Because he was alone and in so much pain... in truth he had no idea what he was even asking for help with. There was so much in there that it was only registered on a subconscious level. But he needed help.

Despite their shared sadness, the girl could give a smile, a sobbing smile as she looked up to him to hold on tighter and appreciate the call for her... wishing those tears away but not holding the man from expressing them. Did it start out of a desire to not see that pain... and led to people just being locked inside themselves? Perhaps it had good intentions, but she could doubt that. Anyone who cared about him would want to see honest tears.

No words, just sobs and tears falling between them, this embrace feeling pathetic as they just shared in this pain. But each could help the other mitigate that feeling. The girl came closer to give a passionate kiss while they still had warmth running down their faces, transferring to the other and showing they are human and hurting. It was a desperate kiss of wanting that assistance and promising it to the other.

It would take a good half hour for them to cool down, finally have that run out and their red cheeks to be seen openly. Jack was not going to give up on this girl now. And neither was she going to let him go. It was a moment of vulnerability shared and embraced. Voices were a bit hoarse but both felt a bit better. And closer.

"That felt good, didn't it?" She did not really believe those words.

"Not really, but... good to... be allowed to do so."

"Yeah." Beat. "I feel like I'm gonna ruin the moment if I mention we have a similar philosophy on something."

"Ruin it all you like. You're probably right."

"It's kinda the same with watching each other go to the bathroom. Any number. Or drinking it... eating it."

"Okay, that does sound like very far away... but how is it the same?" Jack was at least trying to understand.

"Because we share in that vulnerable moment. And here you all hide it because you don't want to see it. Don't want to see someone in need of help. Why you ignore homeless people."

"I guess. Not denying it. The act is still there, just... people don't want to face facts."

"World is damn terrible, but they're making it more terrible by just letting this go on. I'm not." A sad smile as they could work out of this pit. "You can watch me pee anytime."

That had to make him laugh, a bit of a sad laugh. But such moments were another reason this girl was the best.

"Guess I'll have to extend the same offer." Beat. "Want me to make another batch of coffee without the idiocy?"

A light slap on his shoulder.

"Nope! I wanna finish it. Yeah, it's terrible, but... you thought of me. And didn't coddle me or anything. Maybe I can think back on some other good stuff to cheer myself up."

"That's how we do it."

"Fucking nightmare planet."

It was not AS warm but they could get a good wind down with proper smokes and terrible coffee. A laugh shared over how it was not working, the girl trying to describe from her few experiences what kahve was like. A bit more subtle in both tastes while this was just upfront in them both. Maybe it was something in the processing before they got that final powder. And plenty of memories of back home to warm her.

Such things really held the darkness at bay.

*

"Clay Cup" was quite unpopular for its rather unconventional approach to pricing. Today there was no Eva in, but her co-workers were here in case there might be someone willing to pay the price. It was a quiet sunday, usually the time when the nine to five people were free to go out and enjoy what a mall could bring them.

Jasmine had just finished serving a surprisingly polite man who came in here. Plaid shirt and average look, a bit of familiarity to him that she could not place. His card was not accepted so cash was employed as he went out to enjoy that latte with a good smoke. There was barely any idea when they might see another, but the plan was to show that having them be here when others are not should be paid better.

A lot of time on her hands, the older woman settled back to get to what entertainments could be enjoyed here. Mostly going on her phone and watching youtube. There was a particular pleasure to a few talk shows, if one could call that a woman reacting to several other things found online while shaming those people. Still, both young and old it seemed some were pushing back. And they even commented on the increasing rarity of such examples.

By now, Carmen decided to come back into her actual job, no doubt with some collected gossip from the other shops. And no doubt willing to share. A conspiratorial smile as this online damning was paused for the woman to stand up and see what was on today.

"You look like you have something good to say."

"Eep. I.... forgot to actually ask about anything." That made the younger one lose her momentum.

"Did you just go around to all the others to tell them about Eva having that proper date with the boy?"

"Yes...?" She felt a bit ashamed. "Hey, I am happy for her! And so are the others."

"So am I. Good to have something to smile about."

"You doing alright after... you know?"

"Not yet. But I am trying." It was clearly hard to hold in. "Is it wrong that I'm already tired?"