What the Hell - Dig Your Grave Deeper

I got up, raising my eyebrows at her. I retrieved a pen and paper.

"What was the first guy's name?" I asked.

"Gus Middleton. The next guy was Manny Haroldson."

"So, Gus once, Manny four?" I asked.

"Well, not... yes, that's how many times I was with them. We didn't just fuck once each time."

"How many times then?"

"Gus was a dynamo, he fucked me three times in that one night. Manny was so young, his cock never got soft the entire night. He fucked me until I was sore each time. He never took his cock from inside me until his cock went limp. I don't know how many times he came. So, do I count each time as once or..." She left the question hanging.

"I don't know. If he never took his cock out, I guess it would be once each time. I guess you and pop will have to discuss this."

"Fine. Just put down four."

"Who was next?"

"The next guy was Phil Cavender. Met him at another bar I started going to after Manny and I broke up. Manny broke up with me. He found a girl more his age. Phil was my age at the time. He was one of those guys looking for a married woman to fuck. We went to his place and we fucked. I saw him for two months until I found out he was fucking other women. Which was really no surprise, yet I wasn't going to be second fiddle. He only fucked me once a night. It took a long time and was very good, but he was always tired after he finished. Probably, because he was fucking a lot of other women. Once a week for two months... so about eight times. Depending on how many Wednesdays there were in the month."

"Did you ever give daddy sloppy seconds?" I asked.

"Heavens no. I always showered before I went home."

"Didn't daddy notice?"

"I didn't really shower. I just washed the lower part of my body."

"Didn't you use condoms?"

"No. Back then there were no HIV or AIDs. All other STDs were curable."

"Mom, what about pregnancy?" I asked aghast.

"I was on the pill. I would never saddle your father with a child that wasn't his, no matter how much pain he had caused me."

"Thank god. So, I'm his?" I asked.

"Of course, you are dear. Oh god, were you worried about that?"

"A little. Next," I said.

Mom took another drink of her wine and nodded.

"Dick Lauder was next. He was handsome and viral. He also had a big cock. We met dancing on a girls' night out after Phil. We were together for just a month. So that would be four weeks. He did love fucking me. He had to do me at least twice a night, so that would be eight times he fucked the crap out of me."

"Mom!"

"What? I broke it off with him when I found out he was married. Asshole. The next guy was Andy Mendlbuam, he was about my age. He told me he was single and when we danced, his cock was hard and felt big. We went to a sleazy motel and fucked the night away. He was really thick but about average length. I saw him for two nights. He quit coming to the club we went to. I have no idea why. He fucked me three times each night."

"Next?"

"After Andy, I quit going out with the girls. The last guy I met was Fredrick, I never knew his last name. He was tall dark and handsome. He also had a big dick. So big that I couldn't take him in my... vagina. The only thing I ever did with him was to suck his cock until he came in my mouth. Yes, I swallowed. He was a very kind man. Never gave me any grief about not fucking him. He did love my blowjobs. I would play with him almost constantly. He would finger fuck me until I was squirting. He would lick me until I squirted. He was very surprised I could deep throat him, yet not take him in my pussy or ass. So, I saw Fredrick for that week in Hawaii and that was it. We never fucked. He paid."

"Mom, what color was he?" I don't know why I asked that.

"He was black and had the biggest damn dick I have ever seen, in person or in a porno."

"Mom! Did dad know he was black?"

"No! And don't you tell him."

"I won't. Why didn't you let Fredrick fuck you? You pushed me out that same hole and I know his cock isn't as big as my head was back then."

"He did try, took a long, long time getting me excited. It was marvelous. Yet I wasn't stretchy enough to allow his cock in me. It hurt so badly that he gave up and asked me to suck him off. I did and loved it. I could almost get him down my throat but, he never complained. There was a woman with us that he fucked every night even after I sucked him off."

"Did you have sex with her?"

"Heavens no! She was beautiful but, I'm not really into women and neither was she."

"Was she black too?"

"No, she was a white woman, younger than I."

"How did he talk you two into that?" I don't know why I asked.

"For me it was easy. When I met him, I told your father I had found the guy to have my affair with and we were going to Hawaii to have fun. When Fredrick told me there would be another woman with us, I shrugged my shoulders. I was happy to just to be able to hold him and touch him. Of course, what he did to me was just divine as I told you earlier. I also enjoyed watching him fuck the other woman, her name was Christie by the way. As for her, she just wanted his big black cock in her pussy, her words. She didn't care if I got him hard first, just so long as she could fuck him and he filled her with his spunk, her words."

"Well, from what you have told me, you only got fucked twenty-nine times."

"Huh?"

"You are one under the limit that dad set for you. The only problem is you did it with five guys plus one you just sucked off for a week."

"But I never fucked him. I never asked how many times Beth Ann sucked him off."

"Beth Ann? Beth Ann Carpenter?"

"Shit! You didn't hear that from me," mom said.

"Wasn't she a little young for dad?"

"That's what I thought," mom said surprise on her face.

"She's my age. What the hell? I went to high school with her. What was she doing going out with the girls? Weren't they all your age?" I asked.

"Um, no. They were all your age, except for me and Cathy Wilkins."

"What the hell! Did Cathy cheat on Richard?"

"Damn right she did. She was the biggest cheater of us all. She said Richard wanted her too. Strange I know, but she did it for him. Not that she didn't enjoy it, tremendously."

"What the hell!"

Then I had a thought. I looked at my mother. I nodded.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing. I just had a thought to see if Bob will take me back with a condition."

"What condition?" mom asked.

"It doesn't matter. I don't think he will go for it. If he does, then I will keep him. But, I suspect that he won't and I will have to divorce him."

"Oh my. Are you going to want to fuck other men?"

"I have to tell you, that this talk we have had has got me extremely aroused and wanting cock. Whether it's Bob's or someone else's doesn't much concern me anymore."

"Oh dear," mom said softly.

I sat there staring out the window. I was suddenly in a world of my own. Mom pulling on my hand jerked me back to reality.

"What?" I croaked.

"I should probably get home to talk to your dad," mom said.

"No. He will come here, so I can mediate."

I picked up my phone and dialed. He answered on the third ring.

"Hello," he said.

"Dad, it's me, get your ass over here, pronto," I said.

"Why should I?" he asked angrily.

"Two reasons, me, and your wife has confessed all and she still fucked fewer times than you," I said smugly.

"Huh!"

"Just get over here. I have all the information you requested."

"Fine. I'll be there in a few... in a while."

"Okay, I love you, goodbye." I disconnected.

"He's coming?" mom asked.

"Yes, he is."

I poured us some more wine while we waited. I sat next to mom, wrapping her in my arms. I just held her while she sobbed, tears running down her face. I knew she was nervous and frightened about what was to come. I was too. But, I would beat my dad around his head and ears if he divorced my mom. I would do the same to mom. When the doorbell chimed, I went and opened it. Dad was there, looking sheepish. I waved him in.

"No, sit next to mom," I ordered as he headed to the chair.

Grimacing, he did what I told him. He didn't look at her. I just shook my head, as I sat in the chair across from them.

"Now!" I said loudly. "This is going to go one way, my way. If you don't like that, tough. Here is the information you wanted from your wife."

I handed the sheet of paper over to him. He took it from me frowning.

"Now, while she did fuck more men than you did Beth Ann, you pervert, she didn't fuck as many times as you fucked Beth Ann."

He looked at me in shock. The turned to mom.

"You told her?" he screeched.

"Not on purpose. She slipped," I said softly. That got my dad focused back on me. "Don't worry, it will never go any farther."

Dad nodded, looked down at the paper. He scrunched up his eyes.

"Now you can't tell me you never fucked Fredrick during a week in Hawaii," he growled.

"Dad!" I said. "Just listen, don't judge."

"Fine. I'll listen."

"Sweetheart, he was way too big for me yet he still offered me a free trip to Hawaii. I will tell you this though, he did have another woman with him who he did fuck."

"Then why take you with him?" dad asked.

"Because, I enjoyed not only his company but, his cock in my mouth."

"What?"

"I sucked him off... I don't know how many times and he ate me out so many times I can't remember them all."

"So you did have sex with him?"

"Not by your definition," I chimed in.

"What?"

"You asked when you were leaving, how long, how many times she was with them and how many times she fucked them. Nothing was said about blowjobs or them eating her pussy," I said.

My father's eyes opened wide at my usage of those terms. I just smiled at him. Wait until he heard what I was going to tell Bob.

"Now the only term of your agreement she broke was the number of men."

I sat waiting. Mom sat waiting. Then an idea flashed into my head. Nodding I looked at them both.

"Now if you would like, she will let you go out and have five women give you a blowjob each and you can eat them out if you so wish. Otherwise, she will agree to never see another man for as long as the two of you live."

"What?" mom yelled.

Dad looked at her, then at me. He shook his head.

"No that's all right. I just want my wife back, if she wants me back."

"Oh, I do, I do," mom said. "I will give you any number of blowjobs, anywhere, anytime, anyplace."

I was shocked when I heard that but, didn't let that shock register on my face. I just sat there staring at them both. Then they were kissing.

"Whoa, whoa... go home. Enjoy each other. I don't need to see this or hear what you two do with each other or without each other ever again," I yelled.

"Sorry, dear," mom said getting up.

"Yes, sorry, honey," dad said following mom. "What are you going to do about Bob?"

"I'll tell you after I talk with him on Tuesday," I replied.

After they left, I sat there head down, eyes closed, just trying to recover from what I had spent the evening listening too. I heard the stairs creak and knew Vicky was coming down. I just sat there rubbing my face and trying to clear my mind of what my parents had been up too. Was I the only one not cheating on my marriage? What the hell?

"Are you okay?" Vicky asked softly from right beside me.

"Yes, I'm fine. It's the rest of you that are fucked up," I replied.

She moaned and I heard her walk away. I poured myself another glass of wine and drank it right down. By the time I got up to bed, I would be just tipsy enough to get to sleep without too much trouble. I got up and went up to my bedroom.

The next day I was up and sitting in front of my computer typing away at a document, I would present to Bob on Tuesday. On Monday, I was going to a lawyer. Yes, I was going to have the lawyer prepare divorce papers. When I heard Vicky come in the den, I shut the document I was working on and spun around in my chair.

"You have to talk to Kevin," I said flatly.

"I know. I'm scared though."

"I'll call him and have him come here."

"Okay. Thank you."

I called Kevin. He was reluctant to come over. He knew Vicky was here. I told him he comes over or else. I didn't mention what the or else was. He showed up about a half-hour later.

"All right, Kevin, sit on the couch. Vicky in the chair. Now, would either of you like a drink? No. Well then let's get started. Kevin, I'm going to let you start. There are some rules though. No yelling. No name-calling. I will slap the shit out of the one that starts it, got it?"

They both nodded. I smiled at them both.

"Kevin, go."

"I just want to say that I have loved Vicky for our entire marriage, right up to the time you told me she was fucking Bob. I realize the pain you must have gone through when you found out."

I nodded at him.

"As far as taking her back... that's an iffy proposition. There is one way I will... err... might take her back. She must confess all her transgressions, right here, right now."

"So no guarantee then?" I asked.

"No. How could there be."

"Vicky. Oh and tell the truth, you know I know."

Vicky nodded, took a deep breath, let it out slowly.

"Kevin, my love. I have loved you our entire time together. What I did with others had nothing to do with you or my love for you. I... was an idiot and acted on my baser instincts. The last five months have been the worst mistake I have ever made in my entire life. Yes, I have been unfaithful five times with five different men. For that, I am sorry, so sorry that I will do anything, and I mean anything to make it up to you. I will crawl naked over broken glass for you. Ask me anything and I will tell you the truth. I love you and I will never stray again."

"Did I ever get sloppy seconds?" Kevin asked.

"No. Oh god, no. Like, I said it wasn't about you. I wasn't trying to hurt you or demean you."

"Than what the hell... sorry. Then why were you doing these things?"

"That's the crazy part... when I was doing them they felt good. Afterward, guilt consumed me so much that I thought I would die. Then I would come home to you and you would fuck the guilt right out of me. The first time I cheated on you was a fluke. I got drunk because we had that argument before I left for the conference. This nice man helped me up to my room and the next thing I knew we were naked and he was fucking me. I lay there with remorse and fear in my heart as the realization came to me that I was enjoying myself. I was going to confess to you but, then I thought why should I except for the guilt, hurt you. You would never know and I liked the strange dicks. I know that was wrong too. I was on the pill and was pretty sure these guys were disease-free. Or I hoped they were. Since then, this good friend of mine has knocked some sense into me. You saw the result. I love you and I'm so sorry I did this to you and us."

Vicky broke down crying. Kevin just sat there looking at her.

"Kevin?" I asked softly. His head snapped so he could look at me.

"Why have you let her stay here?"

"She is my best friend. My husband had the option after the first time to say no even if Vicky promised to tattle on him. He decided to continue cheating. She blackmailed him into continuing. I haven't forgiven her, I may never forgive her yet I love her. She has been my best friend forever."

"She did what?" Kevin growled.

"Shit," Vicky said.

"She did."

"What are you going to do with Bob?" Kevin asked.

"He will be presented with an option that will keep us together or a divorce. If he agrees to the option, I will keep him. On a short leash. If he doesn't, I will divorce him."

"What is this option?" asked Kevin.

"I'm not going to tell anyone but, Bob. You will have to think up your own option, Kevin. Something, you can live with and she might be able to live with."

"I see. So you won't share?"

"Nope."

"Does Vicky know?" Kevin asked.

"Nope."

Vicky looked at me surprise in her eyes.

"Will, she ever know?"

"Nope. No one but, Bob and I will ever know."

"I guess I have some thinking to do. I will leave you two for now. I will call if I decide we need to talk further."

I nodded. Vicky nodded as tears ran down her cheeks. Kevin stood and left the house. The rest of the day was pretty boring. One more day and I would be seeing a lawyer. Then the next will be rough for Bob and me.

On Monday morning, I called into work to take off the next couple of days. My boss was very sympathetic to my plight. I was able to see a lawyer that afternoon. She was reluctant to draw up the papers, as I wanted her too. I finally convinced her. She said she would draw them up and submit them and have copies couriered to me by Tuesday morning. I wrote her a check and went home. I had to finish my option for Bob. As I sat in front of the computer, I got to work. I typed out what I wanted to accomplish, then drew up what looked like a legal document. In fact, it might become one in the very near future.

Printing it out, I slipped into a folder and put it the drawer that locked so Vicky couldn't get to it if she got nosey. Tomorrow night would be a hell of a night. I somehow had to get Vicky out of the house. I called her mom. I asked, pleaded with her. She finally agreed to call Vicky and have her over for dinner tomorrow. I had to fib a little, but as far as I was concerned, she and Kevin would be getting back together and that's exactly what I hinted to her mom. Whether they did was irrelevant after tomorrow night. The rest of Monday, I did a lot of thinking about what I was going to propose to Bob. I realized that I didn't care either way. I know he wanted to get back together with me, yet I knew he wouldn't like my solution. And the only thought that came into my head was 'too bad.'

Tuesday night, I fixed a nice dinner. While it was finishing up, Bob rang the doorbell. I went and let him in. He went to hug me. I stepped back shaking my head. I led him to the dining room and pointed at a seat. I went to the kitchen and started bringing out the dishes I had made. Putting a bottle of wine next to Bob's plate.

"Would you open this please?" I asked sweetly.

"Sure," he replied.

I was almost shivering I was so nervous, as I went back into the kitchen. I retrieved the rest of dinner and hauled it out to the dining room. I sat across from Bob. He looked at me, trying to determine what my mood was and what decision I had made.

"Would you like to say grace?" I asked.

"Uh... not really," he replied.

Nodding I picked up my glass of wine and took a long drink from the glass. As I set it down, I realized I had just chugged the entire glass.

"Nervous?" Bob asked picking up his wine. He chugged the whole glass. "Me too."

I smiled. He chuckled.

"Do you feel like eating?" I asked.

"Not really. Sorry."

"No problem," I replied rubbing my hands on my thighs. "Why don't we go to the living room?"

"That might... sure why not."

We went to the living room. I had thought about this the entire day. I had us both sitting on the couch. I sat in front of the two envelops on the coffee table. Bob sat next to me. Not too close, yet not too far away.

"I guess this is it," I said.

"Yes, I guess so," Bob said trying to be calm.

"As you see I have two documents here. I can tell you one is for a divorce, which you probably already surmised. The other is what lawyers call a post-nuptial. In the post-nuptial are conditions by which we will stay together, but if you ever cheat on me again then the divorce will happen and you will get nothing."

"What if you cheat on me?" asked Bob.

"I'll get to that. You will have to agree to everything in the post-nuptial for us to stay together. There are several conditions, one of which I have already told you. The next condition is, I will be able to cheat on you anytime, with anyone, anywhere that I chose, for as long as I want, as long as I notify you that I am going to cheat there is nothing you can do about it. If I cheat on you and you find out after the fact then you will be able to execute a standard divorce that the law allows at the time."